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Chapter 4
"Yes, we were friends back then John, but we're not anymore. I've got to go" Nat said as she again started to leave. She walked outside and started walking towards the park.
"Where are you going? " John asked as he followed her out of the bar and noticed she didn't go towards the parking lot.
" John, leave me alone, It's none of your business where I'm going" Nat said annoyed. John walked a little faster and put himself in her path so she had to stop walking.
" Get out of my way John, I don't want to talk" Nat said starting to get angry
"No, we need to talk, you need someone to talk to. I know you've been thru a lot with Chris since I left and I just want to help if I can" John said demanding that she talk to him.
" You wanna talk, I'll talk, but only if you answer me one question first." Nat said making a deal
" Shoot" John said thinking it was going to be an easy question and then they would be able to talk about Nat and her problems
" Why? " she asked
" Why, what? " John asked
"Why didn't you love me?" Nat asked as she stared into his blue eyes.
" Is that what you really think, that I didn't love you? Do you think I left all those years ago because I didn't love you? " John said never once realizing that she didn't know how he felt about her. He had never told her, but he thought she knew, knew in her heart.
" Well, it's not like you said it or anything and there was a time when I thought I felt it. Felt that you loved me but after not even knowing you were keeping secrets about Chris from me, how, how could I trust my feelings. How could I trust what I felt inside, trust that you loved me without words." Nat said as they decided to sit at a bench in the park. The same bench they had once said good-bye on.
" Natalie, it's just the opposite, I left because I did Love you. I still love you, I've never stopped loving you" John said as he leaned his mouth into hers for a kiss. He softly took her mouth with his own and then after a few minutes of kissing him back Natalie pulled away. She looked away from him.
" You just can't do that John, come back here and turn me inside out again. I'm not the same person I was when you left. I've been thru to much these last few years and I can't and I won't go back to being that person that needed you, that wanted you, that loved you. I don't need you anymore John. I thought I knew what Love was, but I was wrong. I only just found out what love was when Lauren was born and her love is the only love I want or that I need. A child's love is unbelievable John, I only hope for you that someday you get to experience it." Nat said as she stood up and started to walk again.
" Friends then? " John asked, if she wouldn't let him into her life in that aspect he would take what ever she was willing to give him, just as long as he could still be in her life.
"We'll see John, maybe " Natalie said as she continued to walk thru the park. John stood still for a few minutes and watched her walk away. She said maybe, he thought. Maybe was better than No. John smiled to himself and ran to catch up with her.
" What are you doing? Where's your car? " John asked
" I'm walking home, Ron picked me up tonight so I don't have my car. " Natalie said as she continued to walk.
" You're going to walk all the way home? It's too far, wait a minute where are you living?" John asked walking along side her
" The cottage, and No it's not that far, I've walked it a few times when I've drank to much." Natalie answered
"You shouldn't be walking it alone, I'll walk with you." John said
" How did I know you were going to say that..? Suit yourself Mcbain" Natalie replied with a half grin
John and Nat talked and laughed the whole way back to the cottage. They arrived at her door and Natalie took out her key to open the door and she heard a voice come from the swing that Ron had built on her porch for her. She knew exactly who it was and so did John as they both turned to face him.
" Well, look who's back sniffing around my wife again." Chris said as he got up off the swing and walked over to them.
" Chris, Lauren's not here so you should leave, call tomorrow and we can make arrangements for you to see her, Oh and don't forget I'm no longer your wife." Natalie said as she went into the house, motioning for John to come in.