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Chapter 5

" I'm sorry about Chris, he's... he's " Natalie started to say but couldn't find a single pleasant word to say about Chris.

" An Asshole" John said finishing her sentence.

Natalie smiled and laughed as she walked into the living room to sit. John followed Nat into the Living room and looked around the house. It was so different than it was when he was in it last. Last time he was actually in it was when the free loader love crew lived in it. Natalie had changed it so much, changed it from even before the love crew lived there.

" Wow! This place looks great; you've really changed it a lot didn't you? " John asked as he saw Nat sit on the couch so he too sat.

" Yeah, I needed someplace that I felt safe when I got back from NY and I had always loved this place but it really needed work after the love crew left. Ron and I fixed it up. He is amazing, I told him what I wanted it to look like and he did it. He even built me that swing on the porch as a surprise." Natalie said as she saw John's face change, it got an uptight look on it.

"Ron Walsh huh? Michael says you two are just friends, Is that...that .. True? " John asked as jealously was on the rise inside of him even before she answered him.

" Ron and I are good friends, sort of how you and I were good friends," Natalie said as she continued to watch John's uptight expressions

"Friends like us? " John asked trying to cover his concern that she was starting to feel for Ron the way she felt with John when they started out as friends.

" He's my friend John, not that it's any of your business but it's not the same with him as you, it's never been the same with anyone as it was with you." Nat replied

" How is it different? What's the difference between your friendship with Ron and the friendship we use to have? " John asked

Natalie thought for a few minutes and then stared right into John's eyes and answered.

" I could tell you anything and I wanted to tell you everything, I wanted you to know everything," Natalie answered

" Then tell me" John replied

" What?" Nat asked confused

" I'm here now, tell me everything, tell me what happened with Chris, with us." John said not wavering his eyes from hers.

Natalie's eye's started tearing up and she got up from the couch and went outside to sit on her swing. John watched her go outside and grabbed the throw blanket that was across the back of the couch and then followed her outside. He saw her sitting there on the swing staring into the night sky. Looking, looking for the reasons not to talk to him but she couldn't find any so she started to tell him even before he sat down next to her on the swing.

" I hated the two of you so much for what you did to me, thinking I was weak and couldn't handle it, handle the secret. I don't really want to get into that much of how the two of you made me feel, it seems like so long ago and so much has changed. But, after you left town a few weeks after the riot, Chris was pressuring me to forgive him and take him back. He was showing up at my house all the time and kissing me whenever he wanted. So, when Michael told me that you left town, it hurt, it hurt a lot. It hurt because I thought that you must not have loved me to give up so fast. To not stick around and try to get me to forgive you, so I gave in to Chris. I knew Chris loved me, I loved him, even thou I loved you, I also loved him .. I started to let Chris back into my life and one night after we had dinner I gave in to him. We made Love, and that must have been the night Lauren was conceived." Natalie said as she paused for a moment to look at John's face. John looked disgusted, was he disgusted with her for sleeping with Chris, No, she thought how could he be, he's probably disgusted with himself for leaving. Nat continued with the story.

"Chris and I decided it was time for a change, before I even found out I was pregnant we moved to NY. Chris was show casing his paintings at some of the best galleries in NY, and money wasn't an issue. Things were good for awhile, I found out I was pregnant and we went to our first doctor's visit and I remember Chris acting strangely about it, just weird, I think that's when I noticed the biggest change in him since the riot. I called him on the fact that he was acting odd and he said it was because he was so happy; we were going to finally have our family, the family that we had always wanted. My pregnancy was normal and Chris attended every doctor's visit with me, he even sold some of his artwork to my doctor, he was a big fan of Chris's work. All was going as schedule except when I was about eight months pregnant the doctor said there was something wrong with Lauren in the womb and I needed a C-section." Natalie paused remembering how upset she was thinking there was something wrong with her baby.

" Was she alright, wasn't it to soon?" John asked very concern

" The doctor gave me some medicine to help her lungs because they are the last to developed and then I had the C-section. She was beautiful, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, and she was seven pounds four ounces, which was great for a baby that was early. Chris was very happy but something changed. He had been changing more and more with each month of pregnancy that I went thru. I couldn't put my finger on it but he was different, he became almost obsessed with Lauren and me. He never wanted us to visit my mom or anyone without him. I put up with it for a few years because I really wanted to make things work for Lauren's sake but the truth was... that I never loved Chris the way I loved him when we first were in love, before Vegas. I didn't want Lauren growing up without a dad and that's why I stayed but it got to hard. He started to use words to try and hurt me to make me feel like I was nothing, that went on for awhile when I heard him tell Lauren who was just a toddler that I didn't love her and that she was his daughter no matter what and that he was never letting her or me go. He sounded crazy so I decided to leave, I told him it wasn't working out and... and.. and...Lets just say he didn't take it to well. I refused to go thru that type or any type of abuse ever again, I went thru that shit with Roxy growing up and I swore I would never put up with it again. I waited it out till the next day when he went to the gallery and I took Lauren and we stayed with a friend till I worked out what I was going to do next." Natalie said as john saw she was getting cold and he knew how hard this was for her, so he took the blanket and his arms and wrapped them both around Nat. she laid her head on his chest and he held her till she decided to finish her story.

" Kevin helped me get a quick divorce not needing Chris's consent, and he also pulled some strings with the custody agreement which pissed Chris off even more, for awhile I had to stay in the same state with Lauren for custody reason's but then again with Kevin's connections the agreement was amended that I could move out of state and that's when I moved back here." Nat said as she snuggled closer on his chest. She felt it, the safe place he had always held for her.

John held Nat to his chest never wanting to let go ever again. Not knowing if he was more mad at Chris for his behavior or at himself for leaving and not letting her know how much he loved her back then. Things could have been different for the both of them if he had just been able to deal with his own demons.