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Chapter 19

Natalie walked over by his cell and she could feel her hands starting to tremble, tremble from being so close to him, the man who she use to love so much, the man who taught her how to love, the man who took all those things and threw them away, a man who couldn't get over the fact that she didn't love him anymore, not when he came back and no now, a man who.. Natalie heard his voice and she ended her thoughts.

" Natalie" Chris said softly looking down as he approached the bars by where she was.

"What are you doing here? I didn't think I would ever see you again after what I did this time, I'm so sorry, I---" Chris said not being able to meet her eye's. Natalie cut off his last words, she was determined to get answers and get out of there.

" I'm not here for apologies, I'm here to say goodbye to you for the last time and to ask you why? Why or I should say how? How could you the kind Christian Vega that I once loved do all these things, all these mean horrible things to me, to Lauren and to John." Natalie said staring him straight in the eyes. Chris didn't know what to say, he had no excuses other than the truth, so he looked down to the ground briefly as if getting up the courage or the nerve and he told her.

"I don't know, I just don't know, I guess ...I just loved you so intensely for so long that I couldn't face the fact that you were meant for someone else. I kinda get it now, I get that you and I never had a shot in hell of ever living happily ever after, I mean.. I knew you were connected to him. I knew even before we got married that you and John had a spark between you. But, I knew you loved me and that as the years went by you would just forget all about him. That's how I justified it, but then I was taken from you, you thought I was dead and all I could think about was getting back to you, I had nothing else. As more time went by, it was still all about you. All the rest of the mess happened and when I finally got out of Statesville, I wanted things the same with us, I needed things the same with us but... you and John got together, something I had feared before we got married and I guess. I guess.. I just became obsessive. I had you first! You were mine!" Chris said getting loud and then he moved a little fast by the bars and Natalie's only reflex was to quickly back up.

" I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scary you" Chris said and Natalie regained herself and walked back over by the bars, she nodded her head for him to continue and he did.

"When John left town, it was the best thing for us or at least I thought it was, with him not around you could love me like you use to, we could finally have the life we dreamed of every night before going to bed together, no John Mcbain to screw things up for us anymore. But, I was wrong. As the years went by you didn't forget him, you just seemed to long for him more." Chris paused and turned away from her for a minute.

"And when you found out I was pregnant? " Natalie asked determined to know everything, every detail to why Chris was the way he was now.

" When I found out you were pregnant it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. No matter how much you loved John, a baby, our baby was going to join us together, together forever, there was nothing John could have ever done or said to get you to leave me and our child, I knew you would stay with me forever so a child of yours didn't grow up without it's father." Chris said as Natalie asked a question

"And when you found out Lauren was John's child?"

" I lost it, I lost the one thing I thought would keep you with me forever, it was his, my worse nightmare had come true, you would be sharing a child with a man you loved instead of loving me and sharing that child with me. I was desperate so I made a deal with your doctor and we lied about things. Things... things were going good for awhile but then I found a picture of John you had shoved in the draw of your nightstand, you still weren't over him, you hadn't seen him in years and you still loved him. I guess that was when I completely became a different person, I would dream of you with him, you and Lauren with him and it made me ill. Ill to the point that I couldn't breathe, I started worrying about him coming and taking the two of you away from me. It was all I ever thought about. That was when I remember saying all those nasty things to you and then I hit you. It hurt me as much as it hurt you." Chris said as he saw Natalie get a stone cold face on, up to this point Nat was a little sympathetic but not now, she remembered all the pain his words caused her, she remembered the first time he hit her.

"You've got to be kidding me! It hurt you as much as it hurt me! I'm sure every husband who ever abused their wife used that same line on them at some point. I had the emotional baggage thinking I was doing something wrong, I was the one who had to wear long sleeves in the summer to hide the marks of how much you loved me, and Luckily for me I've been down that road before and I got out before it got out of hand or maybe I would've ended up dead like a lot of woman whose husbands loved them so much. I can't understand how someone can say they love you so much one-minute and then raise a hand to hit you the next. " Natalie said getting unraveled

"It's because they need help," John said as he walked into the area by Chris' cell. Natalie and Chris both heard him and they turned to face him. John walked over to Nat and stared into her misty eyes.

" I'm sorry but, you were taking so long I was getting a little worried. Are you almost done? Do you want me to go back outside in the hall and wait?" John asked Nat as he reached up with his hand to wipe a tear that had escaped her eye.

" No, it's okay if you stay, I..I got what I needed, I was just finishing up." Nat said to John and then John walked passed Nat and went over behind her so she could finish up her talk with Chris.

" You've told me enough, I don't need to know anymore. It's my turn to tell you a few things. I'm sorry, I'm sorry cause I think maybe If I hadn't married you all those years ago before Vegas maybe your life would be different. I was attracted to John when he first came to town, we were some how connected and I knew it. I never should have married you. but I can't change the past and you've done things that out weigh anything I could have done to be sorry about. You made you own choices and you acted on them, and unfortunately you are going to have a long time to think about them." Natalie said walking over by john and then she turned back and looked at Chris.

"I made sure you have no legal claim to Lauren and I've had her last name changed to her fathers. Goodbye, Chris and I hope you get the help you need." Natalie said as she took John's hand and they walked silently out of the cell area.

As they walked out of the area they could hear Chris trashing his cell and screaming Natalie's name, then they heard him scream something about getting John.

" Just ignore it, I need you" Natalie said to John who had turned to walk back to the cell when he heard Chris' words. They walked out of the police station and got into the privacy of John's car when Natalie's tears started. John reached over, held her and let them flow, her tears, they flowed for a few minutes until Natalie was able to talk.

" Lets go home and tell Lauren today"