Kim Possible and Street Hawk: A Hazzardous Sitch p 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, Street Hawk or Dukes of Hazzard. Wish I did though.

Duke Farm and Boss Hogg

Back in Hazzard, Bonnie and the Dukes arrive at the Duke's farm. Upon arrival, Bonnie sees an old white pick-up and an equally older man on the front porch. The man looks up and smiles at the young people in the 'General Lee' before returning to whittling on a stick of wood. The group then gets out of the car and goes up to the porch.

"Hello, boys, Daisy. Who's yer friend?"

Daisy replies, "Uncle Jesse, this is Bonnie Rockwaller, from Colorado."

"Colorado, huh? What brings you this way, Bonnie?"

"I was on my way to a meeting in Florida when my vehicle developed engine trouble, Mr. Duke. I came across a guy that gave me a ride, only he turned out to be a pervert and I walked until I came across a normal guy that gave me a ride into Georgia. He dropped me off fifteen minutes away from the 'Boar's Nest' and headed back in the direction he came from, as he had gone past his destination."

"That's awful. In any case, please, that sounds so formal. Just call me Uncle Jesse, Bonnie."

"Very good, Uncle Jesse." She then takes in the scenery, nods and adds, "Nice place you have here."

"Thank you, Bonnie. 17 acres of farm land, this house and that barn over there is plenty for my family. Just out of curiosity, what do you do for work, Bonnie?"

"At the moment, I'm thinking about going into Law Enforcement. These days, I'm a Candy Striper at the Middleton Hospital."

"Which field of Law Enforcement? Homicide? Traffic? Booze? Federal?"

"No. Helicopters. Law Enforcement from the air." Bonnie smirks as she thinks, 'It's not that dissimilar from what I do in War Bird.'

"You're a pilot? What kind of helicopter?"

Keeping her cover, she replies, "Huey. I fly a Huey when I get the chance to. Maybe I should have flown a Huey to Florida instead of driving."

Jesse nods with approval as he ponders Bonnie's hometown. "Middleton. I seem to recall an incident up there according to a regular at the Boar's Nest."

Feigning curiosity, as she had a pretty good guess, Bonnie asks, "What happened?"

Bo replies, "Carl Johnson was shot in his knee two years ago. He was driving behind the wheel of a big rig and smashed into another one, causing a massive traffic back-up in both lanes. Even more, a black helicopter with machine guns landed in front of the wreck. It's pilot, a feminine form at that, got out, shot the locks and pulled one driver to safety when Carl made to get back into his rig."

Bonnie, recalling that incident, jumps in. "I remember that. As a result, the pilot shot Mr. Johnson right in his kneecap when he charged at the pilot when she shot his tire to keep him from driving away. Even more, he was driving under the influence."

Uncle Jesse nods as he takes over. "At the same time, there was a van transporting a heart, stuck in the jam. Shortly after it left, the same helicopter returned to the scene. Daisy, how far was that van from the accident site?"

"Five miles, Uncle Jesse. The helicopter landed on two semi-trailers and that was when 'he' appeared."

"He? Oh, you must mean 'Street Hawk'. Yeah, I think he's pretty hot, too." Bonnie can't help but blush at that as Daisy continues.

"Yeah, he sure seems it. He talked the van's driver into giving him the heart, carried it back to the helicopter, thirty feet away, and tied himself to the strap he had slid down on. That is an indicator of courage, if not slight craziness."

Bonnie, feeling a need to defend Ron subtly, retorts, "What if he didn't have a choice in the matter? I mean, what if the helicopter didn't have a winch on it? If I had been in his shoes, I'd have done it the same way."

Luke nods in agreement and says, "Yeah, so would I. I used to be a Marine. When seconds count, you don't have time to land in order to get someone back on board. All you can do is drop a line for them to tie themselves onto and airlift them out. Even more, that move saved that little boy's life."

"Yeah, it did. Way to go, 'Street Hawk' and pilot. What a team!"

Uncle Jesse then grins and says, "Later on, the pilot was identified as 'War Bird' according to a statement from Johnny Monroe in Denver Colorado. Seemingly, 'War Bird' paid him a visit the day after his surgery and told him to simply call her 'War Bird'. In any case, 'War Bird' is a heroine. If she were to come here to Hazzard, she'd enjoy a fine feast."

He gets up from his chair and adds, "Let's go inside and eat. Bonnie, will your friends be here at any particular time?"

"Well, they should arrive to pick me up sometime tomorrow, with my vehicle in tow. It's going to take them a while to fix it, which means I'll leave the farm by late tomorrow afternoon if all goes well. For now, I'll go by foot, so don't worry about me. I'll be all right."

"Do you have family, Bonnie?"

"Yep. Husband and twins. They're almost half-a-year old now. Boy and a girl."

"Well, at least let the boys drive you around town until your friends get here. The woods are not safe at night, let alone the daytime. It wouldn't be good for your kin to bury you before your time. Where'd you break down at?"

"Oh, I broke down around Arkansas on a major highway. I thank you for your hospitality."

"Well, you're welcome to stay here. You may consider yourself a stranger to us. But, around here, heh-heh, a stranger is a friend that had not been met yet."

Bonnie nods, just as her beeper goes off. "Do you have a place I can use my phone, Uncle Jesse?"

"Sure, Bonnie. Just past the front door. C'mon in." Bonnie nods gratefully and follows the Dukes inside. When she sees the phone, she reaches into her handbag and gets her sat-phone out.

When they see it, she replies, "This day and age, personal security comes with being responsible for security in your communications. Nothing is more secure than a sat-phone equipped with a scrambler." Seeing them nod numbly as they head for the kitchen, she proceeds to power-up the phone.

After dialing the number, Bonnie calls in. "Go secure."

"Secured."

"Norman, what's going on?"

"Sheriff Coltrane tried to access War Bird. Only he got himself a big shock in the process."

"At least we know the 'Shocker' system works."

"Yeah. It notified us about the attempted intrusion. Where are you at right now?"

"The Duke Farm. They were kind enough to let me be in peace to use the phone."

"Okay. We'll be waiting to hear from you tonight so we'll know what to bring. I've already got the spare circuit boards for the GPS and communications systems. In the meantime, soak up as much culture as you can."

"Roger that. Bonnie out." She then hangs up and turns off the phone. When she turns around, she sees the Dukes had not gone into the kitchen as they were headed. "Oh dear, not good."

In another part of Hazzard, a fat man wearing a white suit is finishing plans for another plot of greed.

"Well, Francisco, heh-heh, you've outdone yourself this time." He smiles at the slender and well-tanned Caucasian man in front of him.

"Thank you, Mr. Hogg. It was my pleasure to assist you in lowering Hazzard's costs and enhancing your 'Financial Portfolio'. No doubt, Hazzard will run at a much smoother efficiency when it comes to finances."

A still-dripping Roscoe sticks his head in through the door before entering all the way, leaving the door open behind him. "Eh, Boss?"

Boss Hogg sees Roscoe's condition, scowls and says, "Roscoe, you dodo! What happened to you?"

"I've had a rotten day so far, Boss. First, the 'General Lee'. They jumped over Carter's Lake and I went into the drink. As usual, gyuk-gyuk! Even more, they had a girl with them. She looks to be trouble, Boss. Second, I got electrocuted. I'm lucky to be alive Boss, gyuk-gyuk."

"Ah, finally. We can throw them in the Pen, where they belong. Did you do an NCIC search on her yet? Wait a minute! You got electrocuted? Where at?"

"Carver's Field, Boss."

"Carver's Field? There's no power lines out there, you dodo. Did you touch the car's battery while it was wet?"

"No, Boss. I didn't. It was a helicopter with machine guns on it's belly, gyuk-gyuk! It has some kind of system that uses electricity to discourage entry and theft."

"If there was a helicopter, why wasn't I informed about it even landing? Is the pilot in custody?"

"No, Boss. I think that chopper's by itself, gyuk-gyuk!"

Francisco grimaces before asking, "Must you always do that whenever you talk? It butchers your speech."

Boss Hogg waves it off and smiles as he explains. "It's part of him. In a way, it's kind of refreshing. After all, if my wife Lulu can handle his unique chuckle, then I can too."

Francisco nods as he says, "Oh right. He's your brother-in-law."

"That's right, gyuk-gyuk!"

Enos then pops his head into the doorway, wearing a nervous grin. "Uh, Sheriff?"

"Yes, Enos?"

"I got done with Carl Johnson at the Clinic and he swears that a young woman shot him in his privates." That has all the men grimacing in pain as Enos goes on. "Once Carl came out of his drunkenness, he told me that he had tried courting her, but she had refused him. He recalled seeing a wedding ring, but then she shot him."

Boss Hogg then says, "Enos, I want you to do a search on that young woman. Was she identified?"

"No, Mr. Hogg. But I can go and meet her though. Knowing Uncle Jesse, he probably offered to put the young woman up."

"Very good, Enos. Do it like that. Once you get the information, let us know how it comes out."

"You got it, Mr. Hogg." At that, Enos proceeds to leave the County Commission Office, a wide grin on his face. 'Here's my chance. I'll ask Daisy out on a nice romantic date and pop the question to her during it.'

As Enos left, Francisco turns to Boss Hogg and asks, "How much does he know about me, Mr. Hogg?"

"Not very much, Francisco. After all, you'd only been here for six months. Meanwhile, Enos has been very busy being a good Deputy Sheriff and courtin' Daisy Duke while off-duty. Though he's wasting his time with Daisy. By this time next week, the President of Rodeghan will be on his way back home after he signs the 'trade agreement' for 'Hogg Farm's Finest Whiskey'. In the meantime, the whole Duke family will be out of Hazzard and in the Pen."

Francisco then asks, "Why do you hate the Dukes so much?"

"It's not exactly hate. It's more like an intense dislike. After all, they've foiled my schemes time after time. Even when their freedom and/or life is on the line."

Francisco smirks and says, "In a way, they sound like a pair I came across, a long time ago." He then bows down his head and adds, "I've done time myself, Mr. Hogg. I'm not proud of it, but I have broken the Law in a very strange and sick way."

"What'd you do, Francisco?"

At that, Francisco tells Boss Hogg and Roscoe about what he had done to result in him going to Prison. When he gets done, Francisco leaves Boss Hogg's office, forming a plan of his own. 'Perhaps I can make a slight profit after all.'

Francisco leaves the building, gets into his car and drives to a quiet-looking house in a quiet neighborhood. No one from his past knew where he currently is. Not his Parole Officer, his Mother or even the pair that defeated him soundly.

"I can't believe I tried that just one time and came so close to succeeding. Then 'they' had to get involved and bring me down. Mother was so distraught when I went to Prison." Francisco opens his house's front door and goes right to the kitchen. He then opens a cupboard and brings out a can of Vienna Sausages.

"So close, and yet I was brought down. I should have studied up a little bit more. Oh well."

Francisco looks around at the tiny house and eats as he smirks. 'It may not be much, but it is out of the way of any normal people. Even more, it's far away from 'them'. That's the most important thing.' When he finishes his meal, he goes to turn in for the night, pondering his plan.

"Let's see. They won't expect me to do it because my crime wasn't violent or a Capital Offense. I'd better make some calls to let certain people know about my intentions. No doubt, they haven't forgotten about 'them' either."

At that, Francisco closes his eyes with a smug smile on his face, highly confident that since 'they' are retired, they won't come after him this time. Given the current status of the Law Enforcement in Hazzard, he doesn't feel he'll have any difficulty in his plan.

"The Sheriff here is a bumbling fool, as are his Deputies. However, that laugh is enough to drive any normal person crazy." He then shudders as he thinks about one of 'them' using that laugh. "I'll say this much for 'them'. 'They' didn't use that kind of laughter when 'they' went up against me and won. It would have been cruel and unusual."