Kim Possible and Street Hawk: A Hazzardous Sitch p 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, Street Hawk or Dukes of Hazzard. Wish I did though.

Dinner and Night in Hazzard

At the Duke Farm, Bonnie thinks up a half-truth and uses it. "When my vehicle broke down, I activated a security system that actively deters anyone not authorized to enter it. I checked with my friends and they told me someone tried to access it before they could get to it. Luckily, the attempt failed in a 'shocking' manner."

"What kind of system? I've heard of passive alarm systems that alert you, but not those that are active."

"It's a system that uses electricity, Uncle Jesse. Slightly cruel, I suppose. But far better than the vehicle being stolen. 20,000 volts of electricity can be very convincing."

"How do you shut it off to keep from gettin' fried yourself?"

"I have a remote unit, as do my friends, Luke. They even confirmed they'd be here by tomorrow to help get me going again."

Later that evening, the Dukes and Bonnie sit down at the dinner table and Bonnie looks at the feast before them. "Ribs, corn-on-the-cob, mashed potatoes and gravy. If Ron were to be here right now, there would be nothing left."

Daisy then says, "Please, tell us more about Ron and your family, Bonnie."

"Okay. Let me see. Ron has a very cool motto in life. 'Never be normal'. Given all that he and Kim had seen before he was hurt, I can understand why he has it as his motto. Any 'normal' person would go out of their minds if they had gone on their missions, in their place, in the past. I'm glad to say that Ron's motto has rubbed off on me and Kim. He also has a pet naked mole rat named Rufus. His wife is Kim and they have three beautiful children, with some more on the way. Kim was my rival on cheer squad, but we eventually became friends after Ron chewed my rear off. It was a glorious day when he did."

Bo grins and says, "I gather your opinion of them wasn't very high back then."

"That it wasn't, Bo. To the former me, Ron was the biggest loser in school. But Kim had always stuck by him and he had remained Semper Fidelis to her. Together, they were unstoppable. At least until Josh Mankey compromised their last mission." She said that last part, her teeth bared, with her fist clenched.

Luke grins and says, "Anyone that would stay 'Ever Faithful' to his partner and friend is all right in my book. When they become life-partners, it goes even further." At Bonnie's dropped jaw, he adds, "I was a Marine, remember. Semper Fidelis is the motto of the Marine Corps."

Bonnie lightly smiles at that and says, "I can't really say I see Ron as a Marine. Although, he and Kim did get into and out of their fair share of traps in the past. Now, though, the only thing he has going for him is his family and the courses he'll be taking. He's a culinary whiz, so he'll probably be learning to be a chef so he can open his own restaurant."

Uncle Jesse then asks, "How'd that get started anyway? Calling Ron a loser?"

"I only just remembered a couple months ago. It was a repressed memory. It came back to me during the return trip from an outing I had gone on with my friends. My Father didn't approve of the idea of me being friends with Ron and Kim. When I first saw them, they looked so happy together and I felt we could be good friends. But he was so snobbish, he wouldn't even think about me being friends with them. All because Johnny died due to people pretending to be his friend didn't mean Kim and Ron would have been capable of betraying me. But, my Father didn't think that way. So, he had me call Ron a loser and a freak."

Bo asks, "Where's your Father now? I'd like to introduce him to our arrows."

Bonnie smiles and replies, "He walked out on us about a year after he had me call Ron a loser. As to the arrow introductions, someone has already offered to introduce him to a group of nuclear warheads. Or, to be exact, a retaliatory strike with either Legal Papers or nuclear warheads. If he's in a populated area, papers. Deserted area, warheads. Semantics at work."

Luke gulps as he asks, "Who made that offer, Bonnie?"

"A guy you'd probably want to have in your corner if you're in a tight spot with a hostile party standing against you. I'll just leave it at that." Luke nods at that, finding himself numb with shock.

'A young woman casually talking about using nuclear warheads against her Father. I never thought I'd see the day.'

Curious, Daisy then asks, "What happened on their last mission, Bonnie? You mentioned a guy named Josh Mankey."

Bonnie's scowl reappears as she says, "Josh Mankey eavesdropped by the doors at the gym and learned that Kim and Ron were going after Motor Ed and Adrena Lynn. As a result, he decided to try getting Ron killed in the line of duty just to get with Kim again. He didn't take their getting together very well, as he wanted another try with her. I was at the Hospital that night as a Candy Striper. It was very slow that night, so I was in the Lounge. Next thing I knew, Kim was coming in, running beside a stretcher. With Ron right on it. Here was a guy, willing to risk all, just to keep her safe. He was in so much pain, having his right knee shattered from the impact. They glued the joint back together and reinforced the site with screws."

Luke says, "I've heard talk of a prosthesis that can repair the damage. Did he go for it?"

"Yeah, but not for about two years later though. The surgery is very expensive, so he had to save up what he could from what allowance he could get from his royalties checks, just to pay for the operation. He was so glad to lose the cane after some intensive therapy, given that his knee muscles had atrophied. But, he and Kim could never do hero work again." She then mentally adds, 'At least as Team Possible anyway.'

Uncle Jesse frowns at this and asks, "Why'd that ding-danged fool try to get Ron killed, anyway? Was it just over Kim or something else?"

"It was basically over Kim. You see, he wanted another chance with her and told her that. She and Ron then went to Detroit to help a businessman. It was there that they fell in love with each other. When they returned from Detroit, Josh confronted them at the Airport. It was there that Kim told Josh, and I quote, 'Back off, Josh, or there will be trouble'. End quote. Needless to say, Josh was so not a happy camper that day."

At that, the Dukes get a good-sized chuckle out of that, just as a car drives up to the house. Daisy gets up from the table and looks outside, a smile on her face.

"It's Enos."

"Well, Daisy, let the boy on in, heh-heh-heh. He must be starved by now."

"Sure thing, Uncle Jesse." As Daisy goes to the door, Bonnie grins and looks around, seeing the boys nod and Uncle Jesse grinning.

"She's crazy about him, isn't she?"

Bo nods and replies, "Ever since they were teens. What's so funny, Bonnie?" Bonnie's giggles cut him off and she tries to get herself back under control.

"Sorry about that, Bo. It's just that they remind me so much of Ron and Kim. So, when's the wedding?"

"Not for a while yet. Enos still has yet to propose to Daisy, but he's terribly shy, and Daisy's a free spirit. However, if that day is to come, he'll be a welcome addition to the family. Because he's just like us. Uncomplicated, honest and an all-around nice guy. Just like Ron sounds to be."

"I wouldn't know about uncomplicated, Uncle Jesse. He's honest, but ask him to keep a secret and he will keep it. He's also very nice. But, when it comes to someone threatening Kim, oh, the gloves are so coming off. He will fight tooth and nail, just to keep her safe. Kim's the same way when it comes to him. If their kids are threatened, forget about the gloves even going on, as they will tear whoever it is apart with their bare hands. They know each other inside and out. It's almost as if they're of one mind at times."

"Possums in a gum-bush, nice to see you again, ma'am." Enos' voice startles Bonnie and she jumps slightly. "Oops, sorry about that."

"Don't worry, Deputy. I've gone through worse and stranger before. Much worse and far stranger."

Intrigued, Enos sits down as he asks, "What have you gone through before, ma'am?"

"Let's see. Two encounters with a mutated camper, robots moving at ludicrous speeds, a strange man wearing a helmet that uses a red light at his face, calling it his villain light. That guy was the most deranged thing I ever came across. He even mutated his dachshunds into huge guard dogs. To quote Ron, 'sick and wrong'. End quote."

Enos nods as they start eating together. As he eats, he looks over at Bonnie and sees she's enjoying eating the ribs.

"Good, aren't they, ma'am?"

"That they are, Deputy Strate. That they are. In fact, I don't think I've eaten this good since my sisters got married last month."

"Please, call me Enos. Really? What'd you have?"

"Pleased to meet you, Enos. Bonnie Rockwaller. As for what I had, from what Ron told me, it was Veal Tortillas, Chili Pasta and his usual Seven Layers of Heaven Chocolate Cake. You haven't dined until you try his dishes. He doesn't really use recipes. He just mixes certain items together and bingo. Instant hit."

"Sounds pretty good, Bonnie. Where are you from?"

"Middleton Colorado."

"Hoo, that's some distance. What are you doing so far from home?"

"I was on my way to a meeting, but my vehicle developed engine trouble. I caught a ride from a guy that turned out to be a creep and he ditched me just outside of Georgia. I got another ride until I got to within twenty feet of the 'Boar's Nest'."

"Hmm, the only thing around there would have to be Carver's Field. Sheriff Roscoe said that he had been electrocuted by a helicopter with machine guns on it's belly. Of course, Mr. Hogg thinks he had touched the battery in his Patrol car while the battery was wet."

'Damn, he found War Bird all right. I'll definitely have to sneak out there tonight. I'll just have to hope he's not staked out there.' She then finishes eating her fill, yawns and says, "I don't know about you guys, but I think I'll hit the sack. Would it be safe for me to sleep on the couch?"

Luke grins and nods, saying, "I'll get you a pillow and blanket, Bonnie. We have had a pretty wild day today." Bonnie and the others nod in agreement as they go ahead and turn in.

"Uncle Jesse, I'll sleep in the chair tonight. Besides, I have some questions for Ms. Rockwaller."

"Okay, Enos. Judging from your tone, I'd say those questions are Official." At Enos' nod, Uncle Jesse nods right back and Bonnie gulps, having a suspicion about the questions.

As Enos takes a seat, Bonnie accepts the blanket and pillow from Luke and sets it up. "Okay, I'm ready, Deputy Strate."

"Ms. Rockwaller, are you armed right now? If so, are you licensed to carry?"

"Yes to both questions, Deputy."

"What kind of firearm is it?"

"Colt 1911 .45 ACP, equipped with a compensator at the end of the barrel."

"Might I see it?"

Bonnie nods, slowly opens her handbag and removes the black .45 smoothly, ejecting the magazine and the chambered round as she does so. Locking the slide back, she then hands it to Enos and puts the round back into the magazine.

Enos' jaw drops as he thinks, 'She did that very smoothly, like she's been doing it for a good while now.' Examining it closely, he then asks, "How long have you had it?"

"Couple years now. Since the world changed, the rules have changed as well. After all, a girl's gotta know how to protect herself nowadays."

"You can't be older than twenty at the moment, Ms. Rockwaller. The only time minors have access to firearms like this is if they're in the Military and on duty."

Bonnie smiles her barracuda smile as she realizes what he's getting at. 'He suspects I know more than I appear. Not good!' She then considers another angle and intensifies her smile.

"I agree with you on that front. However, in certain situations, it's often legal for a minor to carry a handgun. Such as situations that would warrant said minor of having the arm in question. However, that only applies if the minor had taken a safety course. I am one such person. As are my friends. We all have our CCW permits and are quite proficient with our arms."

"Have you ever killed anyone with this arm?"

"Nope. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid it. If this is about Carl Johnson, then get this straight. The guy attacked me. As a result, he got neutered. The most painful way imaginable." Enos could only nod in agreement as Bonnie stretches out on the couch and says, "If that's all, Deputy, I'll go ahead and hit the sack."

"It is, Ms. Rockwaller. I'll go ahead and put your weapon at your side. Just in case there's trouble and I'm not awake."

Bonnie smiles and nods, saying, "Thank you, Enos."

"You're welcome, Bonnie. Good night."

"Night." Bonnie then closes her eyes and waits for signs of Enos being asleep. Thirty minutes later, she hears light snoring from the sleeping Deputy and smiles softly. Quietly getting up from the couch, she puts the .45 back into her handbag and slips her shoes on.

As she leaves the house and softly closes the door, Bonnie quietly says, "Sleep tight, Enos. You've definitely more than earned it. I just hope Sheriff Coltrane's not staked out there."

At that, Bonnie makes her way down the driveway, not seeing a smiling face looking out the window of the same room she left out of. Once clear of the driveway, Bonnie loads the memory blankers into her .45 and makes her way to Carver's Field, keeping her hope that Carver's Field is not being observed at all.

Unfortunately for her, however, Roscoe is staked out in his recovered Patrol car adjacent to Carver's Field with a pair of field glasses. "Oh, Flash, gyuk-gyuk! When and if the pilot shows up, we can find out who it is. Gyuk-gyuk-gyuk!"

He then looks at his Bassett Hound and asks, "Flash, are you listening to me?" Flash merely looks up and yawns in Roscoe's face.

Roscoe shakes his head and says, "You're about as conversational as Enos is. Thinking of, where is that dipstick Deputy of mine? He should have reported in by now, gyuk-gyuk."

He picks up his radio mike and says, "Hazzard 1 to Hazzard 2. Enos, you read me?" When he doesn't get a response, he checks his watch and sees that the time for the end of Enos' shift had already come. "Typical. He probably checked the time and went on home, gyuk-gyuk." He then picks his field glasses back up and soon starts nodding off to sleep.

Twenty minutes later, Bonnie arrives at Carver's Field and sees a Patrol car much like Enos' across the way. "Not good. Really not good. I'd better check to be sure he's not aware of my presence here yet."

Being as sneaky as possible, Bonnie draws the .45 and primes it, chambering a memory-blanker. She then sidles up to the Patrol cruiser and sees the same man that was driving the Patrol car. She can't help but grin when she sees that the man's asleep.

Reading his nameplate, she nods and softly says, "Nice to meet you, Roscoe Purvis Coltrane. Now, you just stay asleep while I check both of my turbines." At that, she puts the .45 back into her handbag and moves as quietly as she can, trying not to disturb Roscoe's sleep. Suddenly, she hears an unusual sound.

"Gyuk-gyuk-gyuk! I've got you now! Put your hands up for Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane! Gyuk-gyuk-gyuk!"

Putting her hands up, she waits for Roscoe to command her to turn around. When he doesn't, she cautiously turns around, putting her hand toward her handbag, ready to draw the .45 and fire a memory-blanker into the Sheriff. She is then relieved to see Roscoe asleep still.

Bonnie can't help but silently giggle as she says, "Sleep arresting. The way of the future for some. Norman'll so have a field day with this guy."

She then turns back around and starts making her way toward the helicopter. When she gets there, she reaches into her handbag and activates her transponder. She then grabs hold of the handle before hearing what she'd never expect to hear.

"No! Gyuk-gyuk! You'll be electrocuted!"

At about that time, Roscoe opens his eyes and sees a young woman reach the helicopter. At first, he thinks she's curious about until she reaches into her handbag and reaches for the handle at the same time. That's when he cries out, afraid for her safety. To his surprise, she manages to open the door and get inside.

"She must be the pilot. But, she's just a little girl." Turning on his lights, he drives the Patrol car right into the field and into the gatling guns' lines of fire. Next thing he knows, the car's engine bay is destroyed and the car comes slamming to a halt.

Inside the cockpit, Bonnie raises the visor and says, "Sorry about that. But you were getting too close for comfort." To her surprise, she sees the Sheriff get out of his destroyed car and walk toward the helicopter. "Looks like I'll be using a blanker round after all. I'd better suit up."

At that, Bonnie retreats into the back of the helicopter to put on her flight suit and shoulder holster. Getting an idea, she adds, "Then again, maybe it's time to improvise some acting."

Back at Roscoe's car, he shakes his head and says, "Oh, what a horrendous scuffing, gyuk-gyuk! C'mon, Flash. Let's go cuff her and stuff her." At that, he and the Basset Hound get out of the now 'deceased' car and Roscoe examines it's damage.

"Oh, Boss Hogg's not gonna like this, Flash." He and Flash then make their way on foot to the helicopter.

When Roscoe gets close enough, he hears the right rear door begin to open and sees very bright light. Once his eyes adjust, he sees a helmeted figure, decidedly female in form. She has on a strange garment with grey stripes on it's black body. Above the left breast area is a pin that says 'SRT'. The thing that gets his attention most of all is her shoulder holster and the item within it.

He draws his .38 long-nose revolver and says, "Put your hands up for Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane of Hazzard County! Gyuk-gyuk! You scuffed my vehicle, big time!"

The figure puts up it's hands in a peaceful gesture before responding, it's voice distorted, "It was not my intent. My intent is only to check my power-plants to be sure they were not damaged. That was why I came out here this late out at night tonight. What is even more, you had no business staking out my assigned vessel!"

"You had no business landing here without paying the fees, gyuk-gyuk!"

The figure puts it's hands down and states, "I had an emergency situation. One of my power-plants failed and I had to make an emergency landing. Unfortunately, however, the same malfunction may have knocked out my communications and location systems with a power surge, so you would have not been able to hear my emergency broadcast. What right do you have charging fees for emergency situations?"

"Tittily-tuttily. Emergency or not, you still have to pay the fees. It's one of the rules Boss Hogg has."

"Boss Hogg, huh? Well, you tell Boss Hogg that unless he wants his community destroyed, he will not interfere with or extort from those that just happen to be passing through. You have already seen the power of my vessel's weapons. Do not try anything funny. Do you understand me, Roscoe Purvis Coltrane, Sheriff of Hazzard County Georgia? For that matter, put your puny weapon back into it's holster. My encounter suit can handle your ammunition." Instead of doing so, Roscoe lets off a shot, striking the figure in the upper torso.

'Thank goodness for this armored-flight suit. I barely felt it.' The figure then growls, "I told you, Roscoe Purvis Coltrane. Holster your pathetically puny weapon. You have no chance of ending my life."

Roscoe nervously holsters the .38 and gulps as he asks, "How do you know about my middle name? The only ones that know it are my Mother and my former flame."

"Just know this. I am neither. I do not have all the facts together yet, but I have gotten a pretty good idea on what goes on around here. Needless to say, my people have taken a keen and intent interest in you and your kind."

"My kind? You mean you're an alien? This is just a piece of camouflage?"

"In that order, I mean human criminal scumbags that hide behind the Law, yes and there's more to this vessel than meets the eye. Just out of curiosity, how long have you known about my vessel's presence here?"

"This evening, after I went swimming in Carter's Lake. I walked around and saw your vessel. It gave me a horrendous shock when I tried to open it's door."

The figure growls again as it says, "Draza, it is too late for the Neuralizer rounds. Which means I have two options. I take a major chance in trusting you will be discreet and not tell anyone about our encounter. It is chancy for me, but far better than the alternative in store for you."

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what's that?"

He then gulps again as the voice replies, "You lose your pitiful brain matter to a blast equal to that of a .45 ACP round of your planet's primitive artillery."

Roscoe's face visibly pales as he says, "You, you have my word. I'll, I'll be discreet, ma'am. Would it be all right to address you that way?"

The figure shrugs as it replies, "I do not have a problem with that. Remember, no one else is to know about what we have discussed. Clear?"

"Yes, ma'am. Gyuk-gyuk!"

Seemingly confused, the figure asks, "Are you all right? That sounds like a bad throat problem you have."

"No, ma'am. It's the way I chuckle, gyuk-gyuk!"

"Ah. Humanity has proven to be more interesting just from our initial encounter. Perhaps we should speak more before I leave. High Command did tell me to gather up as much culture as possible."

Sheepish, Roscoe smiles as he removes his hat and replies, "Well, any time you need a guide around Hazzard, I'll be happy to serve you, ma'am."

"I will keep that in mind, Sheriff. If I need your service, I shall send an emissary in the guise of a young man or woman. He or she will say, 'The hawk soars'. Your reply shall be, 'But the rock falls'. This will identify you to each other. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am. I await your call for my services. I'll just walk back to town and tell them a falling tree killed my Patrol car, gyuk-gyuk." He then bows to the figure as the door closes, with the figure returning the bow.

When the door is closed, Bonnie removes her helmet and smiles. "That was so much fun. Why did I concentrate so much on ballet? Acting is my new strong suit. Alongside being a pilot for this bird. Just gotta wait for Roscoe to get clear before I check my turbines."

Looking outside, she snorts and giggles as she watches Roscoe walk away with Flash and his head held high. "Looks like I inspired someone to be a little more pleasant from here on out. Maybe now the Dukes could keep themselves from drowning his Patrol cars when he's behind them if he's not chasing them so much."

Back outside, Roscoe is cuddling Flash close to him as he says, "We sure had a close call tonight, Flash. Let's go get some doggie num-nums, gyuk-gyuk!"

Once he's completely clear of the scene, Bonnie puts her helmet back on, hooks the sat-phone into it, lowers the doors and grabs the remote unit while waiting for the phone in Command Center to pick up.

"Go ahead, War Bird."

"Lily, how are you doing tonight?"

"I'm fine, Bonnie. Any problems on your first night in Hazzard?"

"Had a couple close calls with the Law Enforcement here, but no big deal."

"What happened?"

"Let's see. First, Enos Strate. I need a full data search on him. Asshole to elbows. If my hunch is correct, he's probably the only straight-laced Lawman here in Hazzard. Other than Cletus Hogg that is, only I haven't come across him yet. In the meantime, I'm about to check the turbines. Feed me the info as it becomes available if you please."

"Working on it now. Okay. Strate, Enos Bartholomew. Born in Hazzard County, Georgia. Rumored to be the son of a legendary moonshine maker, yet joined Law Enforcement to make a difference. Close friends of the Duke family, perhaps the only true friend that they have. He's known them since they were kids together."

"Yeah. I kinda got that idea earlier this evening. Hooking the remote in now." Bonnie plugs the remote in and opens the door's inner panel, locking it into place. "Going up. Feed me more if you please, Lily."

"Roger. Was once engaged to Daisy Duke when his career was on the line, but they called it off due to Enos' massive blush. Here's the kicker. They canceled it on their wedding day."

"Huh. What could possibly have put his career on the line and why did they call it off when they were ready?" Bonnie turns on the helmet's 'light amplification' unit as she reaches the turbine's cover.

"According to the file, he was forced to cooperate with a pair of bank robbers in order to keep Daisy safe. Even more, she was there when they threatened her. Of all the people there, only the Dukes, Sheriff Coltrane and Boss Hogg were convinced of his innocence."

"So the main, if not only, reason they were getting married was so Daisy wouldn't have to testify against him. In so many ways, he's like Ron and she's like Kim. I gather the actual thieves and the Feds didn't like that very much."

"Affirmative. If those goobers were still alive, I'd like to celebrate by punching holes in their chests."

"Lily, I think I know what your problem is. Checking the right turbine. Oh no, not good. The control rod for the right turbine had snapped like a twig. I guess the crack was too much for the weld to stabilize. I'm going over to the left turbine."

Bonnie then lowers herself back down to the ground and moves to the left side, repeating the process as she does so. Once there, she gives her report. "No cracks or breaks here anywhere. Looking forward to fixing the right turbine."

"That's some good news. I've got the part request sent off and getting approval now. It'll be here by morning. So, what's my problem?"

"You're too violent. You could stand a vacation as well. Why don't you join us in Miami and we can chill together?"

"Tempting, very tempting. Okay, I'm in."

"Coolness. Heading back down now. I'll fill you in upon arrival as to my performance with Sheriff Coltrane."

"This I gotta hear. What'd you do?"

"Long story short, I did an alien routine. I think I had him eating out of my hand. Even more, I think I wasted all those years with ballet when I should have considered acting."

Lily chuckles as she replies, "I hear that, Bonnie. I'll access the feed from your helmet and we can watch it together."

"Roger that. Tell Norman and the others I look forward to seeing them again, very soon."

"Command Center copies. See you soon, War Bird."

"War Bird, roger. Over and out." Ending communication, Bonnie strips her suit off after closing the door. Putting her clothes back on, she exits the helo and reactivates the 'Shocker' system.

As she leaves the field, she can't help the feeling that she had been observed leaving the Duke Farm but quickly shrugs it off. Twenty minutes later, she returns to the Duke Farm and sees no sign of activity on the inside. Quietly stepping onto the porch, she opens the door as softly as possible.

Seeing no activity or anyone awake, Bonnie grins and gets back onto the couch, pulling the blanket up over herself. As she dozes off, she thinks about the routine that she did on Roscoe and lightly chuckles in amusement.

'This could be kinda fun.' At that, Bonnie goes completely asleep, not knowing that Enos had observed her departure and return.

Once Bonnie has gone back to sleep, Enos opens his eyes and checks her shoes. 'Hmm, looks like she went walking by herself. There are some faint traces of soil from Carver's Field. But, why would she go there? I'll check it out after I do my inquest at the station.'

At that, Enos goes back to sleep, his mind swirling with multiple thoughts. 'Who is she meeting with? What's so interesting about Carver's Field? I've never heard of minors having CCW permits just because they completed the course. Could there be something to what the Sheriff said?'