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Chapter 23

John and Natalie slowly climbed the stairs hand in hand till they reached the landing of the second floor, they walked silently to Nat's room and John opened the door. Natalie was having second thoughts about making love with John now, of course she was eager to, they hadn't been intimate on that level since right before he left on the FBI assignment but now might not be the best time. She was still shaken up about finding out about Chris, learning about Chris taking his own life had made her feel guilty, guilt that Chris instilled in her when he started his abusive ways. John tried with his words to make her understand, understand that it wasn't her fault, the fault that she loved John but Natalie needed more, she needed to feel it wasn't her fault, she needed John to make her feel it., she needed John to help her erase the guilt and insecurities that she was feeling.

John opened the door for Nat and then closed it after himself, Natalie walked over to the window and stared out it while John came behind her and put his arms around her waist. He pulled her back close to his chest and he buried his face in her hair. John knew what he had to do. She still felt guilty about all that happened with Chris, the guilt that was typical of a woman to feel when coming from an abusive relationship, the guilt that he knew had haunted Natalie since the verbal abuse began, a guilt that he recognized to be common with domestic abuse victims, a guilt that he knew might take years to undo.

John started to gently kiss her neck as he moved her hair from his face and pushed all of it to the other side of her neck. She tensed at first when she felt his lips on her neck and he knew, knew he needed to show her, show her it wasn't her fault, wasn't because of what they felt for each other that caused Chris' death. He knew she needed him to take care of her today.

" Natalie, let me take care of you, let me make it right " John said as he turned her and stared into her baby blue eye's. They stared at each other for what seemed like eternity but was only a few minutes when John took the bottom of her shirt and lifted it up over her head, they continued to look into each others eye's searching, searching for renewal in faith, faith that they belonged together.

John brought his lips to Nat's and started to deeply kiss her as his hands softly grazed her body reaching behind her back to unhook her bra. He successfully undid her bra and helped guide it down her arms so it could meet her shirt on the floor. John was taking things slow and careful, he slowly lowered his mouth to her breast and took one into it, widely opening his mouth to take it in whole he showed her how much she meant to him, slowly his tongue decided to taste Natalie's breast and John used his tongue to excite her nipples by licking it to a hardened point, he continued this act of love on her other nipple and brought his hand to her pants, John unbuttoned and unzipped Nat's jeans and then pushed them and her panties down slightly so he could get his hand inside her panties, inside so he could feel her, feel her eagerness for him. While John's mouth continued it's action back and forth with his tongue on her nipple while his hand found a home in her core. He cupped her and extended two fingers out so they could move inside her as he rubbed her up and down, back and fourth till he felt Natalie's body start to back up towards the wall by the window to stable itself, in doing so Nat toed off her shoes and pushed her jeans and panties off of her. They became disconnected at this point and John took the opportunity to start unbuttoning his shirt.

Natalie was now completely Naked and she stood a few feet away from John watching him undo his shirt, she smiled as their eyes stared at each other's and she moved closer to feel his need, his need for her, his want for her, she undid she pants and moved them slightly off his hips so she could bring her hand in close, close to his penis, close so she could touch him, stroke him, she started to stroke him up and down spending special attention to the top sensitive part, she looked up and looked into his eye's, this time her eyes looked determined , determined to be free of guilt. Natalie noticed John struggling to undo his last few buttons of his shirt so she took her hand that wasn't stroking his penis and she helped to completely open up his shirt.

Natalie was so caught up in her actions and the feel of John's mouth now once again on her breasts that she let the thoughts of guilt go, all she felt was him, his love for her, their love for each other, she stopped touching him and pulled back a little, John noticed that Nat pulled back and doing so she pulled her breast out of his mouth. He straightened his body so he was standing tall and he again stared into her beautiful baby blues.

"I love you, John. I've always loved you " she said as she guided him to her bed. John took her words and used them to ignite even more passion inside her. As she laid herself on the bed he covered her with his body, shirt still on he leaned on her left side and started using his hands as instruments on her body, instruments of guidance as he slowly ran his hands down her stomach and traveled south towards her thighs and legs. He stopped briefly to look at her when his hands arrived on her inner thigh, he watched her face intently as his hands got closer and closer to her core, Natalie arched her back up slightly and parted her legs when she felt his hand skim her sensitive area, John brought two fingers again inside her to feel her, feel her warmth and wetness, while his mouth was again hungry for the taste of her breasts and it latched on to one. John drove his fingers into Natalie's core as his tongue played with her nipples, again hardening it to a point while Natalie pulled her upper body up giving his mouth easier access to her nipples and breasts.

As Nat pulled herself up she leaned her hand down in between his legs and touched his penis, she started stroking him faster and faster meeting John's speed as he drive his fingers in and out of her, in and out till he felt Natalie tense and he felt her walls starting to tighten intensely, he removed his fingers and pulled his whole body on top of her, he stared into her eyes.

"Are you alright?" He asked wanting to make sure before he entered her

"I'm fine, make love to me" Natalie answered and he pushed his penis inside her slowly. Slowly john pushed himself into her and then brought himself back, as he brought himself back near her entrance he stopped briefly to feel her walls tightening and tensing even more, he continued to tease her walls with this back and forth action of almost coming out of her when finally he himself couldn't hold the urge to quickly plunge into her, John stopped the teasing and pushed his penis back deep inside her till he felt he couldn't be any closer to her.

Natalie felt his teasing and then he picked up the pace, driving into her. She wrapped her legs around his waist and helped to pull him deeper inside her, over and over he drove as she brought her body up closer to his and she started to kiss him deeply, deeper and deeper he drove into her as she kissed him deeper and harder till she felt it, he felt it, they felt it, in one final push of his penis John sent him and Natalie to complete togetherness. This togetherness that would be hero to all their fears have the future and all their guilt and mistakes of the past.

John started trying to catch his breath as he continued to stay inside her, continued to feel her walls come down from their explosion. They stared at each other for a little while longer till finally John rolled off of Natalie and pulled her close to his chest.

" You don't have any doubts, not anymore right?" John asked her

" No, doubts that we're a good thing?" John asked clarifying his last question

" I know we're a good thing, thank you for letting me feel it" Natalie said and after a few more minutes she again spoke

"John, I have a question?"

"When can we get married?"

" I'm ready when you are" John answered with a smile that appeared when he heard her question. Natalie smiled when she heard his answer and then after a few minutes she again spoke.

"One more question and this is a real important one?"

"Aren't you supposed to be working?" Natalie asked as she heard John say "shit " and jump up out of the bed to find his clothes. Natalie laughed as she snuggled with the covers, as he got dressed.

John was dressed and leaned down to a snuggling Natalie on the bed. He kissed her cheek and then whispered in her ear.

"Isn't Lauren coming home soon? " he whispered with a small smirk as he heard Natalie say, "shit" and jump out of the bed.