Kim Possible and Street Hawk: A Hazzardous Sitch p 10
Disclaimer: I do not own Kim Possible, Street Hawk or Dukes of Hazzard. Wish I did though.
War Bird Airborne and Hunting Down Lucre
Back at Carver's Field, Norman and Kim are about to start putting the new control rod into place when they hear Ninja's engine approaching. He had met up with Sand Hawk as planned and picked up Bonnie, when they had a massive necking session before getting underway.
"Hey, glad you could join the repair party, Bonnie. Rufus' already gotten your communications restored along with the GPS. We're just about ready to get you back underway here with the turbine repair."
"Thanks, Norman. Way to go, Rufus. But I think I should finish the repairs myself. You can coach me to be sure I don't make a mistake."
Norman nods in agreement as he lowers himself back to the ground and grins.
Bonnie then adds, "Besides, I have someone to chase down. Ron's already chasing the suspect. Even more, Kim needs know who it is." At Kim's puzzled look, Bonnie replies, "Frugal Lucre." Kim's eyes go wide at the news as a perplexed Norman looks at them both.
"Who's that?"
Kim asks, "Norman, do you remember that lunatic that wanted everyone to send him one dollar, otherwise he'll shut down the Internet?" Norman nods before he groans.
"What was his plan this time? Shut down Hazzard's electrical grid with a bar-code on a bag of carrots?"
Bonnie giggles and replies, "That's what I wanted to know. But it's worse, Norman. He was planning to abduct, if not kill, President Wally of Rodeghan. Kim, get hold of Ron and find out how he's doing. It's time I finished this." At that, Bonnie steps onto the platform and positions herself to finish the job.
Using her bare hands, she positions the linkage with the rod and secures it together. "That's it, baby. Come to Mama. Yes!" Bonnie closes the engine cover before lowering herself to the ground. "Now to suit up, get into the air and punch out Lucre's lights." She then closes the door to suit up while Norman takes the tools back into Sky Base.
Once Bonnie has suited up, she goes up into the cockpit, puts on her helmet and powers up the twin Lycoming turbines. "Weapon systems online, communications online, Navigation and GPS online. War Bird ready for takeoff."
Once the collective is high enough, Bonnie lifts War Bird off of the ground and hits the thrusters.
Activating her communications, she asks, "Ron, where are you at?"
"I'm still behind Lucre. Key on my signal, if you please."
"Roger that. Bingo! I have you in my sights. I'm about four minutes behind you."
"Copy."
On the road, Street Hawk is steadily chasing Lucre's car when he sees a Hazzard County Sheriff's unit. The car then starts following the roaring motorcycle and the speeding car, turning on it's lights and siren.
Inside his car, Lucre is sweating heavily. He had heard about Team Hawk's tendencies of using often lethal tactics against their enemies and is now finding himself not wanting to find out if it extends to him. He then looks behind himself and sees the motorcycle is keeping pace with him and looks forward.
What he sees ahead horrifies him as he tries stopping his car from going into the pond in front of him. Yet his efforts are for nothing as the car careens out of control and winds up in the pond. Lucre manages to extract himself in time before the car goes down, but soon remembers one crucial thing. He can't swim!
"Help! Help!"
He then looks up, only to be horrified to see the cycle bear down on him and then jump over him. As he watches the cycle jump, he sees the cycle clear the fifteen-foot long pond without difficulty and touch down with a foot to spare from the edge. He looks behind him and sees the Patrol car stopping. Next thing he knows, a chubby, balding Deputy gets out of his car, a sour frown on his face.
Cletus Hogg takes in the scene before him and frowns, wishing he could swim. He looks at the other side of the pond and sees the motorcycle move into position. What he sees next stuns him.
Street Hawk examines the scene, shrugs and says, "Now's a good a time as any for a test." Selecting missiles, he starts hoping the new pontoon missile will work without a problem, as it hadn't been tested yet.
The pontoon missile shoots out of the cowl and makes it's way to Lucre before expanding around him. As Lucre nestles into the pontoon, he hears an approaching helicopter and waves it toward him. What he hears next surprises him.
Bonnie activates the external speakers and says, "I guess the new pontoons work, Street Hawk."
"That's affirmative, War Bird. How does it feel to be flying again?"
"Damn good. You wanna do the honors or shall I?"
"Your collar, your call. Sky Base informed me that you expressed a desire to take him in."
"Roger that. Frugal Lucre, this is War Bird with Team Hawk. Put your hands on your head." Waiting for him to comply, only to see he's not, she adds, "Do it or your ass gets blown away." To make her point, she has the gatling guns on the belly do a quick rotate without discharge. "That's the only warning you'll get!"
Lucre puts his hands up in the 'surrender' position and War Bird sends it's line down. Sensing the hook's approach, the straps go skyward, allowing the hook to latch onto them. Lifting the pontoon out of the water, Bonnie thinks deeply about dunking Lucre into the water and decides not to, finding he's wet enough as it is.
When he's clear of the pond, War Bird then lowers the hook and cable, positioning the pontoon right at Cletus' side. "Here's your package, Deputy. Be sure he's locked up tight. He may not look it, but he has ridiculously dangerous ideas from time to time." Dropping the pontoon two feet from the ground, War Bird retracts the line before leaving the area, Street Hawk right behind.
As Cletus picks Lucre off of the ground, he hears the sirens of the other Patrol cars, smiles and says, "Roscoe's sure not gonna believe this. What do you think?"
Lucre's moan of pain is his reply as the cars get to his position. Roscoe opens his door, smiles and nods at Cletus. "How about that, Cletus? You finally caught somebody without getting wet in the process, gyuk-gyuk-gyuk!"
"Possums in a gum-bush, Cletus. How'd that happen? For that matter, where'd that big ol' banana come from?"
"Enos, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. Neither would you, Sheriff. Who is this guy anyways?"
"Deputy Cletus Hogg, meet Francisco, alias Frugal Lucre, the world's cheapest and cheesiest villain, gyuk-gyuk-gyuk."
Lucre frowns and groans as he asks, "Do I have to listen to that laugh all the way to Jail?" To his horror, he gets his reply from all three men.
"Yep, that you do! Gyuk-gyuk-gyuk!"
Wanting it to end, Lucre then says, "Someone, please shoot me, in my head. Now!"
Enos then looks over at Roscoe and asks, "Whatever happened to that dune buggy, Sheriff? Aren't we going to go find it?"
"No, Enos. Somehow, I think that dune buggy might have wanted us to come out here. It just might be on our side. Why that is, I have no idea. Gyuk-gyuk-gyuk!"
"Make it stop, please! Make it stop!" Lucre is covering his ears with his hands, trying to stave off the madness in his brain.
"Gyuk-gyuk!"
Still chuckling, the three men cuff Lucre and stuff him into Enos' Patrol car, seeing that Enos has been practicing doing Roscoe's chuckle. All because of Roscoe's policy of 'Monkey see, monkey do'. Surprisingly enough, he's getting to be pretty good at it.
Let it never be said that Roscoe could not be even more proud of his Deputies, as they constantly drive Lucre crazy to the point of no return. With their chuckling like him.
Meanwhile, War Bird and Street Hawk return to Carver's Field to meet up with Sky Base. War Bird touches down on the ground as Street Hawk rolls up the ramp on Sky Base into the massive belly of the plane. As Bonnie shuts off the turbines, she gets an idea for a good-bye performance, steps out of the helo and steps over to Jessica.
Jessica had returned to Sky Base earlier while Bonnie was chasing after Lucre with Ron. Seeing that she had routed the Patrol cars away from seeing Sky Base in the field, she contacted Command Center to find out Street Hawk's location. Taking a shortcut through a quiet area of Hazzard, she routed the Patrol cars to where Lucre would likely turn up to be.
Once she had built up enough of a lead on them, she swung Sand Hawk down into a heavily-shaded area and waited for the Patrol cars to race by. When they were clear, she turned the dune buggy back to the direction of Sky Base.
"Hey Jessica, you did a real good job getting those guys out to the right spot."
Jessica turns back and smiles at Bonnie, saying, "As Kim would say, it's no big. Looking forward to getting out of here?"
"Yeah, I am. But, I need your help, though. I need you to pose as an alien from outer space for me so you can get Sheriff Coltrane out here."
"What for?"
"I think he needs to know about a certain group. Since I figured Boss Hogg is greedy as hell and Norman had found out the same thing, I also think he might be corrupted even worse by the Sho-Da-Kah."
"But, we shut down their command structure. They're running scared now."
"True, but it's best to not take chances. Especially with the Sho-Da-Kah running scared."
"Okay. How do I go about it?"
"Go to the Hazzard County office and give Sheriff Coltrane the phrase I'm about to tell you. He already knows his response, but you should know what it is for it to be as authentic as possible." As Bonnie tells Jessica the proper phrases, she walks the newest member over to War Bird while Ron and Norman load up Sand Hawk.
Five minutes later, Sand Hawk is loaded and Sky Base is about to lift off as Jessica emerges from the helo, wearing Bonnie's vest and shorts. Surprisingly enough, they're a good fit, given that she's about Bonnie's height and body shape.
'I can't believe I'm about to pose as an alien from another galaxy.' As she walks toward town, Sky Base lifts off of the ground and makes it's way back to Colorado.
Five minutes later, she hears a truck blow it's horn and turns around to see a tow truck. When the tow truck stops, she sees the driver is slightly fit with a slight five-o'clock shadow on his face.
"Howdy, ma'am. Car trouble?"
"Nope. Just on my way into the downtown part of Hazzard."
"Well, my garage is down around there. Hop on in and I'll give you a lift."
"Oh, thank you." As Jessica gets in, she smiles and says, "I'm Jessica."
"Cooter Davenport, Jessica."
"Lost Sheep to Crazy Cooter. Hey, Cooter, you out there? Over."
"I may be crazy, but I ain't dumb. Crazy Cooter here. Go ahead, Lost Sheep."
"We're trying to find a lady that was a guest of ours. Brunette hair, very well-tanned with blue eyes. Have you seen her? Shepherd and Bo Peep are trying to find her. Over."
"Negative on that, Lost Sheep. The only lady I've seen is this young lady here with black hair, brown eyes and pale white skin. I'm taking her into Hazzard."
"10-4, Crazy Cooter. Lost Sheep out."
"Roger on that, Lost Sheep. Hope you find her. Crazy Cooter out."