Here it is. The grand chase comes to a potentially shocking close. And this chapter, like I said, will be long (by my standards anyway). Let's get it over with.

"Ooh, I hope this comes out good."

Ness rested his back against a wall. This would be his safe zone, the vantage point for the videotaping of the greatest chase climax in the Smash Mansion's history. Eventually he'd have to move, but this opening shot was, in all senses of the word, flawless. The motorcycles still closed in, and Marth was still backing away, prepared to slice if necessary. So dramatic. Probably worth so much money.

A bike revved once. Marth quickly shifted. The 23 resumed their chase. Marth cartwheeled, slashing the tire (in half) of one of the bikes in front. That rider joined another. Marth ran past the dining room into the kitchen. He grabbed several small knives from the counter and continued running towards a short hallway. The motorcycles trailed him. The knives were blindly thrown backwards at a low trajectory. Two tires popped; one of them belonged to the bike carrying two people. They gave up, while the other rider joined an ally.

Marth approached the game room. It was of moderate size and, luckily, a closet was on the way. An ingenious plan formed in Marth's mind. (Ness was still following and taping, atop a bicycle he "rented" from a bike shop.)

Marth opened the closet all the way and ran into the game room. The pursuers, along with Ness, began ravaging the large pantry closet. Marth chose to hide between two arcade machines in the back. But stealth was a problem here. He wasn't alone.

The Ice Climbers, Roy, and Pichu were already playing.

"Marth? Why are you-"

Marth tried to shush Roy without making noise.

"Marth, do you know where that revving was coming from?" Pichu asked unfairly loudly.

Marth angrily sighed. Then all 5 of them heard faint talking from the next room.

"He's not in here. He's in the room next to this one."

"Crap. That was a good-ass distraction."

"Hey kid, you pissed at that fag too?"

"Um, I'm just taping…"

"Why are we still talking about it? Let's finally kick his ass."

There was brief silence. Then:

"Marth, since when'd you become gay?" asked Nana.

The pursuers busted through the wall, knocking a pinball machine on top of Pichu. Marth made a mad dash for the exit. He'd have to try somewhere else…

The courtyard. It'd probably be easier to lose them in that huge thing. It was big (about 97 acres wide), and it had plenty of bushes near the back. A pseudo-labyrinth. Perfect.

Marth kicked the glass back doors open. Technically, he kicked and broke the glass back doors. Then he ran. A straight path 7 acres long, which the motorcycles (and Ness) followed. (In case you wanted to know, the movie was coming out fantastically.) Right after they crossed the tiny bridge, Marth jumped into the bushes, which, for some reason, didn't have too many branches. The pursuers drove through the bush as well.

Marth was gone.

"Oh, great. A pseudo-labyrinth," a guy said, shaking his head.

"This is like the 6th time this month!" a girl said, tightly gripping Ness' neck. She was promptly paralyzed.

Meanwhile, Marth was hiding in an isolated section of the courtyard; a small clearing with a small pool and a small bench. And flowers. Here, Marth sat and waited. The engines were faint. Which got him thinking…why in the name of Master Hand did this chase last as long as it did? Did all of these people really have nothing better to do? Or was it something more? An assassination attempt, perhaps? No, that was a foolish notion. They were probably just really, really pissed off.

Marth sighed and looked at the sky. Why him…?

The engines got louder and closer. Marth stood up.

"Gotta get further away from them…" He began to continue his run. He made a left. He went straight. He went to the left. He went to the right. He went straight. He made a right. He encountered Ness.

"Smile for the camera!"

Marth jumped over him and went straight. He made a right. He encountered a pursuer.

"Guys! I found- hey!"

Marth sliced off the handlebars and ran past her. The other engines still approached. Seriously, it was like being stalked by several…yeah, it's another cat reference. Some people stood atop their bikes to get a better view. Marth had to duck to avoid them. He made a left, and then a right. He encountered another biker. He turned and began running through the bushes again.

"Hey! That's cheating! Okay. Fine."

Marth continued running. The pursuers imitated Marth's run. Some of them almost grazed Marth's legs. But he made it out safely, with Ness right behind him, still taping. They both went the 7.762 acres back to the mansion. Marth needed somewhere else to run. Upstairs. Where all of the Smasher's rooms resided. Maybe one of them could help.

"Hey, baby, remember us?"

The two young men were sitting on a large couch in the foyer. Marth raised an eyebrow.

"…I'm not a girl."

"So?"

Marth ran upstairs, disgusted, while Ness taped the two on the couch.

"Smile for the camera!"

"You want some of me, big-headed boy?"

Both guys were promptly paralyzed. Ness followed Marth's run on foot. The bikers drove upstairs on their bikes.

First room: Nana's. Empty. Useless. Pink.

Second room: Luigi's. Occupied by Luigi. Marth ran inside.

"Marth, what's that revving?"

The motorcycles came. They all chased Marth around the entire room within 6 seconds. They passed as a storm would. Everything was all discombobulated (it's an actual word!), and Luigi was sad. Ness, of course, got it on camera and continued after Marth.

Third room: Roy's. Empty. Regal. Useless.

Fourth room: Fox's- uh, moving on.

"Hey, you bastard. Where's my Arwing, huh? Huh?" Fox power-walked after him…and was run over by a bunch of motorcycles.

Fifth room: Kirby's. Occupied by Kirby and Pikachu, who were watching TV.

"Can I borrow this?" Marth picked up the 13" TV set and chucked it at the pursuers. It hit a bike, shocked it, and blew up. Kirby and Pikachu just stared, while Marth continued running. Ness got the explosion and continued after Marth. Kirby and Pikachu stared at each other, then they both suddenly ran after the chase.

Sixth room: Yoshi's. Empty, tropical, and smelling great.

Seventh room: Captain Falcon's. Falcon was doing a test-run simulation in his Blue Falcon. Marth skipped it.

Eighth room: Link's. Link was quietly playing his ocarina with his younger self. The engines slaughtered the harmony of the moment. And severely messed up Link's room. He didn't know Marth had stolen several of Link's bombs.

Ninth room: Mr. Game & Watch's. Technically another dimension. Technically empty. Marth began the bomb assault. He dropped one by his feet and threw the other 2 over his head. They didn't explode. Because they weren't lit, nor did they hit anybody.

"They're always lit when Link pulls them out..."

Tenth room: Linen closet.

Real tenth room: Falco's. Occupied by a sleeping Falco. The chase woke him up, and in a fit of grumpiness, he started blasting all of the bikes. Yes. He slept with his Blaster. Anyway, all the shooting cut the number of pursuers in half, leaving...uh...half of 19...leaving 9 riders. Plus Ness, Kirby, and Pikachu.

Eleventh room: Popo's. Empty, blue, and freezing.

Twelfth room: DK's. Occupied by DK eating a banana and doing one-armed push-ups. Wasn't much to use in there, so it was skipped. DK observed the chase, shrugged, and fell on his stomach. Cause you can't shrug and do one-armed push-ups at the same time.

Thirteenth room: Peach's. Pretty. Pink. Occupied by Peach and Zelda, who were talking about what Zelda had earlier witnessed. And now, re-witnessed.

"Is there no one else that can help?" Marth inquired.

Fourteenth room: Bathroom.

Real fourteenth room: Samus's. She was on the Internet, surfing the Web with her suit, searching for some upgrades. She paid no attention to the chase, and Marth paid no attention to Samus.

Fifteenth room: Jigglypuff's. She was practicing her singing. Those that knew her unfortunate gift covered their ears. The one idiot that didn't fell asleep on their bike and drove off the balcony. There was an explosion. For no reason.

Sixteenth room: Bowser's. He was watching his soaps, and when the chase passed, he got mad. He wanted to burn them all, but he was too slow, so he continued watching.

Seventeenth room: Dr. Mario's (office). He was on break. Marth would probably see him later...

Eighteenth room: Pikachu's. Cute and empty, of course.

Nineteenth room: Zelda's. Elegantly unoccupied.

Twentieth room: Young Link's. Simple and empty.

Twenty-first room: Mewtwo's. For cheap humor, he crushed one bike with his bare mind and put that rider in a coma.

Twenty-second room: Ness's. Average, 13-year-old boy's room (a replica of his old one). And empty.

Twenty-third room: Pichu's. Cute and empty, of course.

Twenty-fourth room: Ganondorf's. Dark, ominous, smelly, and empty.

Twenty-fifth room: Mario's. Mario was eating leftover ziti, and was in his own little world.

Twenty-sixth and final room: Marth's. Also regal, and blue. Marth ran to his large window and opened it. Looking down, he realized that the mansion was taller than he thought. Jumping would be suicide.

He was cornered. His only choice...was to kill, or mortally wound. The 7 that were there jumped off their bikes and slowly, dramatically approached. Ness was searching for the best angle. Kirby and Pikachu were giggling. This was it.

"You've had this coming to you for a long time," the guy in front said.

"Yeah. You're gonna pay," the last girl said.

They got closer. Marth gulped and slowly, unsteadily started to unsheathe Falchion. Ness zoomed in on his sweating face.

"No escape for you..." a dude chimed in.

Closer.

"Stay back. I don't want to kill/mortally wound any of you."

"You wish," the "leader" stated.

Closer. Marth gulped again.

"You're gonna regret ever..."

One step back?

"What'd he do again?"

"He stepped on some dude's foot and caused a riot."

"Oh, yeah! What happened to that guy?"

"I think he got killed in that explosion."

"For real? What the hell are we doing then?"

"...Uh.."

Marth sheathed Falchion and raised an eyebrow.

"Eh, I don't wanna do this anymore."

"WHAT?" Marth, Ness, Kirby, and Pikachu asked in shock.

"Sorry man. We were just caught up in the moment. The 4-hour-long moment..." the "leader" apologized. Marth picked his jaw up. He had absolutely nothing to say.

"Dude, I missed work and my soaps..."

"I'm going home. I'm hungry."

The 7 walked toward the doorway, chatting. Then, a plane hovered by Marth's window. The same damn plane. Marth ducked. The plane gunned down the remaining "pursuers". Blood covered Kirby's entire body; he shuddered and fainted. Pikachu just ran away.

"And thus ends the Mansion's Great Chase. Copyright PK Productions." Ness turned off his camera and walked away, laughing. The plane flew away.

Marth observed the corpses by his doorway. So many feelings popping up at once. Anger. Relief. Surprise. Joy. Confusion. More anger. Unsatisfaction. Fear. Just...wow. The Wow manifested itself in a deep, long groan. Marth dropped his sword and slowly walked to his bed. His face had little life left in it. He buried himself in his mattress.

Fox appeared in the doorway, covered with tire tracks.

"Hey Marth. Come here. I wanna talk to you."

Marth let out the Wow once more.

The end. Who saw that ending coming? Well, this was fun. Always feels good to end a good story on a weird, semi-anti-climactic note...yep...