AN: Another one. Hopefully you enjoy it.

Wednesday came too quickly for Emily and her hangover. One thing she noticed was beer always gave her headaches, no matter how much she drank. Anything else it depended on the amount. She had managed to grab a good few hours' sleep before getting up to help Alice with the kids. Mornings were always so hectic, having an hour to get everyone up, fed and dressed. They had been slightly fussy it being the third morning in a row not having their Momma there to make the pancakes the way she did. Emily's pancakes weren't as much as a hit as JJ's were. Emily had made sure as Alice loaded them into the bus that they would either facetime or visit the blonde later, depending on how she was feeling.

Emily headed towards to hospital after she waved her kids off. She hoped her wife was feeling better than she was the day before. She thought back to the groggy blonde and the last time she had anaesthetic before the whole Ian Doyle situation, after surgery the doctors had giver JJ so much pain killer, she was high. Emily could help but laughing thinking about it. General Anaesthetic wasn't JJ's friend. The brunette loved the stuff though, it had always agreed with her body, she generally felt well rested. She wished she could give that to JJ.

She walked down the hospitals twisting hallways with a carrier bag in her hand. She had taken it upon herself to grab her wife some snacks such as jelly pots and Cheetos. Things the blonde would like and could keep while she was in hospital. She smiled and waved at the nurses as they wished her a 'good morning' on her way to JJ's room. She was pleasantly surprised to see JJ up with her glasses on reading a book. She must be feeling much better.

"Morning my beautiful lady. How are we feeling today? She placed the bag at the end of JJ's bed before perching herself by JJ's side.

JJ looked up with a smile. "Much better, I haven't eaten yet, but I'll see how I feel at lunch. How are you and the kids?" She placed the bookmark in her book and placed it on the small set of drawers which held her stuff.

"Everyone is good. The kids miss you already. But they are doing well and so am I." Emily couldn't help herself but smile. She was just so grateful to be seeing JJ up and normal. Last time she was in this position it had been days before she woke up, and even after then she had spent most her time medicated. It was nice to see her looking like herself.

"Do I get a kiss? I can't sit forward too far with all this I just get tangled." JJ pouted. She leant forward slightly, to meet Emily's mouth with collided with her own. It was soft and gentle. Just a kiss which told one another how much they loved each other without getting too passionate.

Emily sat back and looked at her wife and noticed all the stuff she was connected too. "So, what exactly is all this? It looks like a lot to sat your sat up and seemingly well."

"Well you must know what this is." JJ said pointing over to the heart monitor and holding up the arm which had the blood pressure cuff and finger with the monitor on it. "I'm on half an hour obs, so I'm stuck to this. You also know this itchy thing." She pointed to the wires mixed in with her bandages on her head, and the other monitor at her bed side. "I'm on constant EEG's till I leave so they can monitor for seizure activity. Which apart from one last night, and one this morning I'm good." JJ looked almost proud at herself. Hopefully this meant some control was back. "The nurse said I'm on anti-biotics three times a day, which is what's up now. Painkillers three times a day for the next couple days at least, and fluids with glucose in between. I'm getting a new IV tomorrow though. This one is starting to tissue already." She held up her arm to Emily who looked at the cannula on back of JJ's hand.

The brunette felt around it, and she could feel under the skin there was a slight hard patch. One thing both of them did pretty quick when they had cannulas would be to tissue, which meant around the site it would swell slightly, and sometimes around the vein it would become hard.

"I also have a lovely catheter, until I'm not connected to this. Apparently, they put in during surgery, but I didn't even notice it yesterday." JJ shrugged.

Emily laughed at JJ; she really was connected to everything. "Babe, I'll let you keep your pee bag to yourself, so I'm gonna stay right over here. But I don't think you would have noticed if I shat in my hands and clapped yesterday. You were so grumpy and groggy."

JJ scrunched up her nose. "Stop using that Em it's gross."

"What you don't like the visual?" She laughed.

"No, I really don't. It's disgusting it reminds me of the poop explosions Michael used to have all the time. I don't need no reminders of that." Her nose uncrunched as something came to her head. "Wait I wasn't grumpy, was I?"

"Babe, at least you weren't high and telling people about out sex life. Be grateful for that. I know I am." JJ put her hands of her face to cover up the redness which was spreading over her cheeks. She would forever be embarrassed about the effects some pain medication and anaesthetic had on her. They were moments she hoped Emily would stop reminding her about. Emily wrapped her arms around her wife in a hug laughing at how easily she was embarrassed. She thought JJ was lucky, she hadn't said anything about her glasses yet. That always sent JJ red faced too.

Emily spent another couple of hours with JJ before heading to her therapy session. A session she hoped would pass by quickly but hoped it would be as easy as last weeks was.

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Linda had taken Emily through to her office, Linda was just sitting down while Emily placed her phone on the table in front of them. She wanted it there just in case the hospital or Alice phoned.

"How's this week been for you Emily? I heard JJ's not having her therapy session today because she's in hospital, that must be hard on you all?" Linda prompted.

"Yeah, JJ's had to have her shunt replaced. It wasn't working properly so the fluid was building back up slowly around her brain. But the surgery went well, in fact I went to see her this morning and she's awake and really well." Emily chuckled slightly thinking of the morning.

Linda hoped this session was going to go as it did last week. An easy flow to it and lots of things to work on. "Oh that's really good. Do you know when she's being released?"

"The doctors hoping for Monday or Tuesday barring any complications. But she seems well, and they are keeping a close eye on her." Emily shrugged trying not to seem bothered. She hoped JJ would be home sooner. She missed laying beside her.

"That's great, I'll keep my fingers crossed everything goes to plan." Linda smiled. She was so glad her patient was opening up to her. She had heard off everyone that Emily was one of the hardest people to get to be honest with them. They knew she knew how to pass the assessments, they knew she wouldn't give them full disclosure. But so far Linda was finding Emily to be an interesting person who seemed to be taking part in therapy easily. "So, what do you want to talk about this week? Has anything come to your mind you want to discuss?"

"Just a couple of things." Emily admitted. "Me and JJ had a fight and we both said some stuff that wasn't acceptable really, and now I've drank a lot again in the past three days."

"Okay, well shall we start with the fighting. What didn't you find acceptable to say to each other?"

The brunettes head bowed, and she picked at her fingers. A habit she kept trying to leave behind but it always seemed to pop back up. "I'd gotten in a small fender bender earlier in the day. We were lucky really, a drunk driver came in front of us, and I managed to swerve so we only hit a pole. We are all fine. Not a scratch on any of us. But JJ blamed it on me. She said that everything was my fault and when people are round me, they get hurt. But I retaliated. When Doyle and his men caught us, there was a slight opportunity for her to run, but I told her she stayed because she wanted to be raped, I then threatened her, threw a plate at her and then ended up sending her to bed like she was a child."

Her legs crossed and eyes squinted as the therapist listened intently. "That sounds like a significant fight. Have you spoken about it together since it happened?"

"Kind of. The night it happened JJ went to bed by herself and had a nightmare she needed me, so I went to her. There was a brief apology then, and then again in the morning. But we haven't had much time since. After the argument JJ threw away her pills, so we went to see her doctor to get more, that's when they found she had more fluid and then she had the surgery." Did they have to talk more about it. Emily was all for communication, but she didn't want to hear her wife say it was her fault again.

"Well how do you feel about what was said? Specifically, about what JJ said?"

"I think it's true. She knows they are my insecurities. She knows I think that what happened was my fault. So, I don't feel any different."

"You must have you reacted to what she said. Do you think over this past week you may have had some slightly different views?" Linda tried to hide her smile. Emily was actually coming on leaps and bounds in such a short period of time. Last time she saw her, the blame was full on herself, but now it was changing only a week later. She was impressed

"Maybe." Emily paused and huffed. She couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to this woman. "I didn't want it to be my fault. I wanted to move past it, and I was trying. We had a good day earlier in the day. We played soccer with the kids, enjoyed the sun. We'd had some normal days. I guess I thought things were improving."

"This is just a hurdle, things are improving. You haven't run Emily. You had a pretty big fight and your still here by their side. You're here with me. You are improving. Your getting better and you've got to keep going the way you are." Linda almost begged for Emily to see the changes she was making by herself.

The profiler sat forward her legs slightly apart as her arms rest on them. "But I feel like its two steps forward, five steps back."

"No, more like 3 steps forward, one step back. But its natural. In any recovery that's going to happen. JJ's seizures for example, you must see it with them. She was okay, you had a good day, then she needed surgery, and now I'm sure she's going to take some more steps forwards to being more stable."

Emily shrugged. "I guess."

Linda had an idea cross her mind. "Do you think it's a possibility that you drinking could be because you're not in control of how the recovery is going. To me it sounds like somethings happened that wasn't down to you, in the past few days. To cope with that your drinking again. It was the same at the beginning of your recovery just out of hospital."

A laugh escaped Emily's lips "Yeah, I like to have control. Me and JJ both. It's just a bit of a wild ride at the moment and I don't know where we are going next."

"Why don't you take back some of that control?"

"How?" The agents head tilted lightly.

"Talk to your wife. Plan a day for you both. A date maybe. I know it's not the kind of control your after. Set a time, a place. You know where your going, you know the traffic to get there. You know a nice day. A normal day. No talk of what happened. Just a day going back to who you used to be. But it's all in your hands. In the meantime, while you wait for JJ to get better, why don't you take back control of what you drink. You don't want to drink right?" The doctor prayed and hoped for some normality for the couple. Some control for the both of them. Small steps like these would allow for that to happen.

Emily frowned. "Only when I want to. Like when I go out with the guys or if me and JJ have a glass of wine or beer with dinner. Not as much as I am now." She didn't want to be one of those that didn't drink ever she just liked to have it to stop her from feeling things. She wanted to go back to having it like they used to.

"Okay, Maybe cut down. By a bit a day. It takes time. Or you can go cold turkey. Do something that you have a grasp on something that you want to do to get your life back." Linda knew this would be a hard couple of weeks if she didn't put her mind to it. But she had faith in her patient she could do this.

Emily nodded. Maybe she could do this.