Part 9 - All Things Must Die
Chapter 157 - Poltava Two
Gwen was feeling worried sick. It had been three weeks since the team had left and she missed Miles more than anything. She had company in the form of Aaron and Grace, the latter of which was out for a walk at the moment, but nothing was a substitute for Miles. She continually reminded herself that time worked differently between narratives, and that it may have only been a day for the team. Suddenly, her thoughts snapped back to reality as a bright flash appeared, followed by a dark shadow which blocked out the sunlight into the penthouse. She and Aaron looked up to see Odahviing in his full battle armour. The dovah watched them back, but that wasn't what Gwen cared about right now. From the dragon's back leapt a figure who walked through the balcony door, a sword strapped to his waist. Gwen stood up.
"Max?"
"I'd love to do the whole hugs and kisses bit, but I have to help Dad and Charlotte."
"Are they OK?"
"Hopefully, yes. Most likely, no. Null took the Empress' Ethereal Plate. Where did Dad and Charlotte go?"
"Minus Zero."
"Good. I'll be back."
Miles and Charlotte came back to their senses just a few seconds apart, likely caused by Null crouched down in front of them. He was holding two plastic bowls filled with a red liquid that looked like tomato soup. Charlotte tried to leap at him, but couldn't move forward more than a few inches. She looked around and found they were in the back of some sort of truck.
"What do you want?" She snarled.
"I thought you might be getting hungry. You'll have to help your father with his cos I ain't letting him venom strike those chains. And don't try to help him get free; I've got the only key and the trigger for that collar on your neck."
He put the bowls down where she could reach them, then went and sat on a crate. Charlotte picked one up and took a sip to make sure they weren't poisoned. She didn't feel much respect for her father, but keeping him alive was vital. He was the strongest spider person, and he'd be needed. Confident the soup wasn't poisoned, she spooned some into her father's mouth. The chains on his hands were much shorter and kept them pinned almost to the wall above his head. He grimaced as he swallowed the soup.
"What is that?"
"Tomato soup that's a good few months beyond its 'use by' date. It's perfectly safe to eat; I've been eating it for a long time now."
"You sure it's safe?"
"It came out the same tub as mine, so if it isn't it'll save Max a job and leave Gwen heartbroken. Defeated by some mouldy tomato soup…sounds like something out a Johnny English film."
Everything went silent as the three of them ate. Charlotte finished last, having helped her father first.
"You gonna knock us out again?" She asked.
Null shrugged.
"If you'd like."
"Where are we?"
"Not where we were, certainly. Exactly where isn't something I could tell you; GPS satellites don't work through multiple kilometres of volcanic ash. All I know is we're headed in the general direction of London."
"In the UK?" Asked Miles.
"No, a house in Timbuktu." Null replied sarcastically with a roll of his eyes.
"Why?"
"Because it's the survivors' hub of the world and I need supplies, then we'll head back out into the wilderness for the final battle or something."
"Aren't you going to kill us?" Asked Charlotte.
"No. I thought about it, but outside the heat of battle I can't bring myself to kill. You're more useful alive, and maybe you'll see all the damage done to my world and think twice next time you give a fifteen year old all the power in the omniverse."
"He regrets it."
"Well regretting it doesn't change it, does it? Out of eight billion people, only three-hundred million are in a position to survive. That's before the famine and disease."
"How did so many die?" Asked Charlotte.
"Because every single volcano in the world was set off, and to put the cherry on top there's what I think is called a 'flood basalt' up in Siberia. Don't quote me on the name, but the last time that happened the dinosaurs hadn't even appeared. There's enough sulphur in the air that just about everybody with asthma is dead or dying. Some people were just killed by the volcanoes themselves, others were buried by ash, others died from lack of water, and even more are dying from starvation every day. There isn't any fertile land to grow crops, there's no fields to keep livestock if there was any left. Society broke down very quickly once that became obvious."
"I'm sorry that happened, but what will keeping us captive do? What will killing Max achieve? What do you want?" Asked Miles.
Null paused for a moment, thinking it over.
"Number one: revenge for my world. Number two: a show of force that displays why I would be a good leader. Number three: I get rid of this damn fan-fiction; it's been dragging on and on and on and I no longer have control. Every moment after the Scarlet King has been me trying to kill you and to get free. Khahrahk was supposed to win, Max was never supposed to get his powers. I first tried meeting you in person and trying to kill you, but that didn't work out when you flipped to Liam's side so I couldn't use him. Next I tried Haze, but not even an unstable super AI could tear your world down. Then came Wolf Spider who did so well until he didn't; he was too intent on taunting people. At last I said: 'fine, I'll do it myself'. Look where we are now. I want to live my life, just like everyone else. Is that so difficult to ask for?"
"You knew we were real. Couldn't you just walk away?" Asked Miles.
"I knew Liam's 3812 would come for my reality, and so did the INTF. They made me write part six, but I tried to set it up to end it. When it failed and this happened, I couldn't just sit around."
"How do you plan to get to London before Max arrives? Time passes faster below us." Asked Charlotte.
"Actually it doesn't. Time passes relatively. It only passes in narratives below when I say it does, and how much passes can be changed. In one hour up here, only a nanosecond could go by down below and vice versa. Max will arrive when I want him to, and he won't arrive until we're safely away from London. Now have you got anymore questions or can we keep driving?"
The spiders stayed silent so Null took their bowls and threw them in an open crate before disappearing out the back. Miles and Charlotte looked at each other.
"He's mad. He can't justify this." Said the latter.
"He did. He sounds like a victim. Maybe we should be making Max answer for this?"
"If you threaten my brother, I will break every bone in your body."
"I'm just saying that none of this was really Null's fault."
The drive to London was bumpy and painful. Over time, the spiders came to grips with the reality that Null wouldn't kill them unless they gave him a good reason to. Now they were driving away from London with crates of supplies stacked neatly. Charlotte was asleep when Miles felt the truck come to a halt. The back door opened and Null's face appeared. He was wearing the 'God Buster' armour.
"I told you Max would arrive when I decided, and I've decided that time is now. You two can stay here and watch the fireworks. Default, wake the drones up."
"Yes sir."
Some of the crates broke open and drones started swarming out of them. More appeared, presumably from the Humvees. Null turned to the stationary crowd of them.
"If y'all were actual people, I'd give a motivational speech. Instead, you get: 'låt oss krossa dom, kasta in dom genom helvetets portar'. ['let's crush them, throw them through the gates of hell'.]"
A jet of energy smashed into the ground not far from Null's convoy. This one was larger than any Max had previously created, but it was needed to transport twenty thousand Swedish soldiers and a dragon. The God climbed onto Odahviing's back as the Swedish king rode up beside him with his royal guard and advisors.
"What is the situation?" Asked the king in Swedish.
"My father and sister are the only survivors. We'll try some diplomacy, and if that fails we'll put those guns, swords and horses to good use."
"Very good."
Odahviing lumbered forward with the king, guard and advisors. Null emerged from the ranks of drones and walked out to meet them by himself. The two sides stopped a few metres apart. Null jumped up and landed again simply to say:
"Hello there."
"I'd finish the meme but you don't deserve that." Max replied.
"As the only person without a dragon or a horse, I'm feeling a little small. Care to come down to my level?"
Max swung off Odahviing's back, figuring it would be better to appease the simple request in the interests of diplomacy.
"Better?"
"Most certainly. Honestly I thought you'd just come charging at me, but I don't mind this."
"Maybe I'm hoping your drones will run out of battery."
"That won't happen for a while. They're powered by arc reactors."
"Shame."
"So, the Swedish army, eh? Which king is that: Gustavus Adolphus or Carolus Rex?"
"Carolus. Me and him have some stuff in common."
"What? Divine power?"
"Sure, but was more thinking the fighting to save our homes."
"Cool. Well, let me ask you this: what's your favourite Sabaton song?"
"I thought you'd know that."
"I know a lot about you, including the reason you hate drug jokes, but your favourite Sabaton song wasn't a fact I wrote down."
Max narrowed his eyes.
"You know what happened?"
"Of course. Every canon fact about you is true because I said it is."
The God took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second, then opened them again and shook his head.
"You're trying to get in my head, and I won't let you. What happened then wasn't your doing; only those involved are to blame since your control on my reality started slipping a long time ago. My favourite Sabaton song is 'Winged Hussars'."
"And you went with Sweden not Poland today? Interesting."
"Sweden smashed Poland. And I figured you'd have coined 'then the Winged Hussars arrived' by now."
"I did. It killed Natasha Romanov…sort of."
"So what's your favourite Sabaton song?"
"Right now it's 'Poltava'."
"W...Oh...very slick."
"I thought so too. I was thinking about that one for a while. Oh well, I guess this will be 'Poltava Two'. Good luck, Dei Volente."
"Save it for yourself."
Max, Odahviing, Carolus and the royal entourage returned to the friendly lines.
"Let's get this over with." The first muttered.
Drums began to beat steadily from the rear of the Swedish ranks and the infantry began to march forwards steadily. From Null's ranks of drones came a shout of:
"'Listen, excuse for a king! Trust me, this fight you can't win!'"
Max knew it was a lyric from 'Poltava'. He yelled back another line:
"'Madness curse your feeble horde! Fear me and die by my sword!'"
Null chuckled at the response as he watched the Swedes advance. They were marching into a slaughter, just like the Avengers and Spider Gang before them.
"Drones, shield wall!" He yelled.
A solid wall of blue energy appeared in front of the ranks of drones.
"Guns forward and armed!"
The guns on them began to spin.
"Guns!" Yelled a Swedish commander.
The drum beat changed; the first rank of soldiers knelt down, the second crouched, the third remained standing and the rest prepared to take the position.
"Fire!"
The thunder of rifle fire shattered the steady moan of the wind and beat of the drums. Max groaned as every bullet ricocheted off the drones' shield wall. The drones returned fire, mowing the Swedes down like dominos.
"Charge!"
The soldiers began to charge, but few came even close before the entire first wave was slaughtered.
"How do they have so much ammunition?" Muttered Carolus from beside Max.
"No idea. A cavalry charge might break them up if we surround them. It might scare Null, anyway."
"Indeed. Cavalry!"
The drum beat changed yet again and horses galloped out, moving round to the sides.
Null saw the flanking forces almost as soon as they left the Swedish ranks.
"A slaughter, Maximilian. I thought you could see the future? Drones: rank depth one! Form a defensive ring!"
The ranks of drones behind the first began to glide around to create a circle that surrounded the Humvees and truck. Very soon, the Swedish cavalry had surrounded them, but Null just grinned to himself. The cavalry charged; Null yelled one more command before they hit:
"Shields to forty-five degrees, guns back and armed!"
The shield wall changed from a flat face to a slope and the drones swivelled round to face inwards, although the wall remained outside. He jumped inside one of the Humvees, all of which had surrounded themselves with their own shields.
"What the hell is he doing?" Max asked himself.
The answer was clear as the first horses reached their target: they stumbled on the ramp and into the middle of the of the ring where the drones began to mow them down just as easily as the infantry. Suddenly, a single shot rang out and a section of the shield opened. It was clear Null had prepared for it as the drones closed the circle a little to cover it. Max had an idea.
"Let's fly, Odahviing."
The dovah spread its wings, scaring the horses a little.
"What is your plan?" It asked.
"He's had his fun. Let's melt those drones."
"Hm, a fine idea."
The dragon flew a little ways out then banked sharply and swooped low, opening its mouth to blast the drones with fire from above.
Null heard the dragon and knew his drones would be going off like popcorn.
"The royal steed joins the fray." He muttered, kicking open the Humvee door.
Swedish infantry marched steadily forward towards the gaping hole where drones lay obliterated on the ground. Null spied Odahviing wheeling round for another run in the gloom.
"I have a Star Wars quote, but it's from The Last Jedi so I can't use it." He muttered to himself as he raised an arm.
A slot opened on it and the head of a missile poked out. Odahviing opened its mouth to unleash more fire and Null pressed the trigger. The missile raced up and exploded on the right side of the dragon's body. Its wing was blasted clean off and both the dovah and its rider tumbled towards the ground. Null turned his attention to the advancing Swedish infantry. By this point, only three of his drones were still alive with the rest having been destroyed by flanking forces. Null clenched his fist, then swung it in front of him like he was swiping with a sword. A magenta shockwave hurtled out from him, massacring the army..
"'Listen, obey my command! Hear me, or die by my hand!' Give up!" Null roared.
He spied Carolus and the royal entourage and took off using thrusters on his hands and feet. He swiped his fist across again and the magenta shockwave blasted them to kingdom come.
"Incoming." His assistant announced, but the projectile had already hit.
Furore Mortale jammed itself in the hip joint of Null's suit and he snarled as he felt the tip pierce his skin. He ripped it out and dropped to the ground again, looking towards where Max stood. The red trim was glowing, leaving a strange wispy wake as he moved. The God was clearly injured, shown by his slight limp. Odahviing was clearly alive too, but in no fighting shape.
"Need a break?" Null taunted Max.
"I hate to say it, but you were right: this was a slaughter."
"I've spent years studying tactics and doctrine."
"It shows. Sun Tzu would be proud."
Null chuckled.
"Let's think about this: you're a God with infinite power but you're injured; I'm a guy with some decent power with only a scratch. Should we call it a day? I can't quite bring myself to kill you today."
Max was in the middle of processing the offer when he noticed something. He closed his eyes, then began to laugh.
"Very smart, Null. Honestly, you're one of the smartest bad guys I've ever faced, at least when it comes to battle plans. Sadly for you, you can't trick me with an Ethereal Plate."
Null disappeared in a burst of magenta light. Max turned his head a little, staring at the place he knew the real Null was hidden.
"Are you sure I can't trick you?"
"I'm guessing this is how you killed the Avengers and the other spider people. But to me, an Ethereal Plate's like throwing a small stone at someone. Might hurt a little, but it's not gonna take you out."
"Very perceptive. But are you certain you know what's real?"
"Very."
The world suddenly went pitch black, consumed by magenta power. Max clicked his fingers and the pain in his ankle disappeared.
"What scares you most, Dei Volente? Is it Wolf Spider with the Sword and Siege Perilous?"
Wolf Spider appeared, holding the Siege in his left hand and the Sword in his right. Max didn't feel the effects of either. He started walking towards his old enemy, picking up Furore Mortale as he went. Wolf revealed his four spider legs and jabbed at the God with them; Max slashed through each one, then drove his weapon through the illusion. Wolf dropped the Sword and Siege, then fell himself. However, before he could hit the ground he turned into dust.
"Maybe what scares you most is Khahrahk and his children?"
Max turned again to see SCP-682 lumbering towards him, although with a few noticeable differences.
"I've seen this guy die twice. He doesn't scare me."
682 charged, opening its jaws wide. Max took a running jump onto its head and sliced Furore Mortale straight through its neck. The head and body ground to a halt, soon turning to dust as well.
"That definitely wasn't real. The real one had six eyes, three rows of spikes down its back and its skin was much thicker. Face it Null, you can't scare me like this."
"Oh really? Are you sure?"
The Humvees and truck appeared again. From the back of the truck, Null hauled out Charlotte. Max couldn't tell if this one was real. He could sense his sister around the place he saw her being held in a choke lock, but this could be a fake and the real was still in the trailer. Either way, he wasn't going to stand around to find out. He started sprinting forward. Null fired a repulsor shot from his hand that hit much harder than anticipated. He tumbled to the ground and looked up, just in time to see Null snap Charlotte's neck.
"No!" He screamed, picking himself up and running forwards.
He struck out at Null with his sword, but it went straight through the fake and embedded itself in one of the open doors of the truck. The fake Null disappeared, but the dead Charlotte didn't.
"No, no, no. Charlotte. Please don't be real."
He knelt down at her side and gently picked up her body. She looked real, she felt real, and the terror of losing his sister forever was real too. He buried his face in her neck and started to cry. Null chuckled from somewhere, but he didn't care where.
"What a pity. First you lost Grace and now the only other person that really loved you. Hell, even your pet dragon is on the verge of death. You're just a sad, lonely little boy with nothing left to fight for. You were never ready for the power you gained, and you never will be."
Max felt nothing but rage. Adrenaline burned through his veins as he let his sister's corpse go and stood up, wrenching Furore Mortale from the trailer door. He set his sights on the invisible Null, made even more visible to his eyes by the aura of Ethereal Plate energy surrounding him.
"I will break every bone in your body. I will kill you slowly, painfully, and I will enjoy every moment."
"Come and get me then, dipshit."
Null knew his invisibility was useless, so he showed himself with Captain America's shield in one hand and Mjolnir in the other. Max's face was that of a psychopath's as he imagined tearing Null's heart from his chest.
"There's a saying in my reality: someone with nothing left to lose is ten times more dangerous than someone fighting for something."
"That exists here too, although I don't know the exact phrasing. I guess that makes two of us, and we're both looking at the person that took it all away."
Null began to spin Mjolnir, but threw Cap's shield first. Max raised his arm and it bounced off. Null threw Mjolnir at the shield and a shockwave rattled out. Max held his hand out and the energy from it was absorbed. He unleashed it in a focused shockwave that Null dove out of the way off. He held his hand out to call Mjolnir back, but Max caught the sacred hammer and crushed it with his bare hands.
"Not so scary now."
"We'll see."
They charged at each other; Max swung his sword back and slashed it across, but a well aimed punch from Null sent it flying from his hand. They began to exchange furious punches. Unlike Charlotte, Max didn't seem to care that he was punching solid metal; each blow caused Null's suit interface to flicker and drove him back a little more. A slot on his suit's shoulder opened and an electric elastic band flew out. It snapped itself around Max's neck and he seized up for a second before his hand shot up and tore it away. Null had taken the split second to create a knife which he stabbed at his enemy. The movement to free himself saved Max a direct blow, but it clipped the side of his ribs. He snarled and grabbed the top of Null's head, crushing the metal helmet and hurling him to the ground. Null blew the totalled piece of his suit off and a new one appeared in its place, but he was on the ground now. Max reached out his hand and Furore Mortale flew into it. Null fired a repulsor beam mixed with magenta Plate energy which gave him half a second to avoid the mindless slash from the God's sword. He raised his other wrist and a rocket was fired from it. It exploded on Max's chest, blowing both of them well over a hundred metres apart. Both lay in the dust struggling for breath. Max looked over at the truck to see Charlotte's body was gone. Instead, he could see his sister alive and well with his father, both still inside the trailer.
"Your tricks are over, Null!" The God screamed, picking himself up.
He received a magenta shockwave to the face that knocked him back to his knees, but he reached his hand behind him and the energy looped round into it only to be fired out in a concentrated beam that missed Null by inches.
"Face it, Volente: we can't kill each other. I'll give you back your father if you give up now."
"I want them both."
"Then you'll have no reason to come back here."
"Oh, I'll have a very good reason."
"You're still only getting him."
"I'll kill you."
"And I'll kill you. Saying it doesn't mean it'll happen. You get only your father and your life, or you get nothing."
"Charlotte's more important than anyone else to me. I can't accept."
"Did you miss your fiancé on the way up? Pity she was out when you arrived."
"Grace is dead. You can't get in my head anymore, Null."
"We'll have to see. Do you want your father, or shall I take your head?"
Max double tapped the side of his head, wiping the blood from his nose and mouth on the back of his hand.
"I'll take him, but you'd better expect some visitors. Very. Very. Soon."
Null laughed half-heartedly.
"You'll arrive as soon as I want you to. Take him, but don't lay a finger on your sister or I'll blow up the truck and kill them both."
A detonator appeared in Null's hand. Max picked himself up, clutching his rib and limping over to the truck. Charlotte strained at her chains, trying to get to Max.
"Stop, Charlo." He said in a dull tone.
"Let me free. We can take him, Max."
"Not now. He's out of rockets and elastic bands, but I can't fight. I'll come back for you, I swear. I won't leave you with him for long."
She looked on the verge of tears as Max broke Miles out his chains. Miles groaned, shaking his arms and hands desperately to try and get the blood flowing in them again. Max turned to leave and saw Null on his hands and knees, one hand still holding the detonator. The God took a deep breath and made his decision. He closed his eyes and time froze. He didn't have enough strength left to keep his father and sister moving, but he used the time to retrieve Furore Mortale, stab Null in the back, then smash Charlotte's chains. He knelt down, pulled Miles and Charlotte close and closed his eyes again. Time resumed and the truck turned into a fireball. At its centre, the God grit his teeth as he fought to preserve the bubble keeping his loved ones safe. After a few seconds, the initial explosion passed and he hurled them clear of the wreckage. Null lay on the ground, gasping for breath.
"You…fucking…bastard."
"I told you I'd kill you."
"Oh, I'm…not dead yet."
"I'll come back and make sure of it."
The three spiders made their way to where Odahviing was lying, breathing heavily. The dovah shifted its head a little.
"Null mahlaan. Mu kron, Dei Volente. [Null has fallen. We conquer, Dei Volente.]"
Max leaned against the dragon and sheathed Furore Mortale.
"Zu'u hind. I hope."
The four were engulfed by a jet of energy that carried them home.
Crossovers in this Chapter
- Avengers
- Skyrim
Sabaton as well, if references count. Wow this chapter was brutal.