FACULTY MEETING
"Welcome back to another year at Hogwarts! I'm delighted to see you back, rested and well after summer holiday. I will try to keep this faculty meeting brief. I know you all have settling in to do to prepare for the upcoming school year."
Albus Dumbledore's wise old eyes smiled a greeting to each of his staff members in turn.
"The first order of business is to announce the name of the newest addition to our staff. Gilderoy Lockhart, of whom you have undoubtedly heard, will be joining our faculty as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Severus, are you alright? Tea go down the wrong pipe?"
"It's nothing, Headmaster, I'm quite well. Please go on."
A very astute observer might have noticed the subtlest of glances exchanged between Profs. Snape and McGonagall who were sitting across from each other at the faculty table. Further scrutiny would have revealed a slight twitch at the corner of Prof. McGonagall's lip followed by the tiniest of nods from Professor Snape in her direction.
It was a well-known fact at Hogwarts that Professors Snape and McGonagall, heads of the houses of Slytherin and Gryffindor respectively, shared a friendly rivalry over the annual House Cup award. Likewise, the two professors were known to be fiercely loyal to their Quidditch teams.
For several years, Prof. Snape had enjoyed being head of the winning house, but all that changed with the arrival of Harry Potter.
With the addition of Harry Potter as Gryffindor seeker, and his role in protecting the Philosopher's stone, the playing field had been leveled between Professors Snape and McGonagall. For the first time in many years, Gryffindor won the House Cup, and Professor McGonagall's prize was a month free from study hall duties.
Since Professor Snape frequently referred to study hall as that "great convocation of dunderheads", it was especially difficult for him to accept defeat, and he now dreaded September. He wished with all his might that he could find a way out of this bet. Professor McGonagall, on the other hand, could not have been more delighted with her new-found victory and wanted more.
It was in this spirit that the two professors half in jest devised a new wager to amuse themselves during summer holiday. They would each suggest names for the newly vacant DADA position. The winner would be the one who submitted the name of Dumbledore's choice. The prize would be dinner at the Hogmeade's Inn and, as before, one month free from study hall duties.
Owls criss-crossed during the summer months bearing cryptic notes.
"Lucinda Cadwallader", Severus read. "You can't be serious, Minerva", he thought, even as he tried not to smile. Lucinda Cadwallader ran a magical tea shop in Diagon Alley and kept seventeen cats, each one black with identical white markings. Lucinda was, however, expert in recognizing unregistered animagi, but in Severus's opinion, more than slightly daft.
Severus countered with a selection of his own: "Aristophanes Belltower". "For pity's sake", Minerva laughed out loud, when she read the name. "Severus, you are truly hopeless." Aristophanes Belltower was a former healer at St. Mungo's, known for his aptitude at curing resistant hexes. He was currently one hundred forty-nine years old and, in Minerva's opinion, out of the running for the post. Obviously, Severus was thinking of the hex put on the DADA position, but still….
As September drew near, both teachers dispatched owls with a new urgency. The thought of losing and having to pay for dinner was not a problem for either, but for Severus, the idea of supervising study hall through October was unbearable. They each submitted more carefully chosen candidate names: "Evangeline Vance" was countered with "Kingsley Shackelbolt", "Dawlish" with "Lupin."
When Minerva McGonagall opened her final message from Severus Snape and read "Alastair Moody", she realized she had been trumped. She wrote the first name that came to mind on a piece of parchment, sealed it and attached it to her owls leg. "Ah well", she said philosophically, "at least it's better than one month's detention duty."
Two owls arrived at Severus Snape's residence on the last day of August. He opened Professor McGonagall's post first. He read the name and smirked. "That insufferable fraud! Does she really think she stands a chance with him?" He opened the second message. His smirk widened.
The rest was history.
Each professor arrived at the faculty meeting with a concealed parchment of names, waiting for the headmaster's announcement. Severus Snape was just taking a sip of his Earl Grey tea when Dumbledore made his announcement, and nearly choked as he read the last name on his list:"Gilderoy Lockhart." He forced himself to look up in Minerva's direction and saw her lip twitch. He inclined his now aching head in acknowledgement.
Professor Dumbledore smiled benignly at both of them.
Minerva waited for Severus near the door at the conclusion of the faculty meeting. "I'll take my steak rare, Severus. Oh, yes, and before I forget, I will leave a two month study outline on your desk by Friday. How delightful! Now I have the time to read the complete Transfigurations Throughout Ancient Mesopotamia." She was trying very hard not to laugh, especially at the pained look on Severus's face.
Severus stepped aside to allow her to pass through the staff room door.
When Professor McGonagall was out of sight, Severus Snape allowed himself one fleeting broad smile as he contemplated the fun he would have baiting Gilderoy Lockhart this year, and the look on Minerva's face when the Slytherin Quidditch team showed up with the brand-new Firebolts Lucius Malfoy had described in his August 31st owl.