Chapter 4:

"May…May, wake up…May."

May reluctantly opened her eyes and for a moment, she thought she was still dreaming. Salene was there, standing over her, with a worried look on her face.

"May are you alright? We've been looking everywhere for you. You weren't in your room. What are you doing in here?"

"I wanted to talk to you, but you weren't here…I wasn't feeling well, I guess I fell asleep." May lied easily; covering up the real reason she was in Salene's room. It was because this was where she wanted to be, the only place where she had ever felt safe and loved.

"But you're alright?" Salene queried again with that worried look still on her face.

"Oh yeah, sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

Salene looked at her for a moment as if she was going over all the reasons in her head why May wouldn't be alright. She realized suddenly that for the first time in many months she was actually looking at May, really seeing her, without walls or defenses. There was something in her eyes, something that worried Salene. Slowly, she reached her hand out towards May. But May turned quickly away from her and stood up.

"I'm fine, Salene. What time is it?"

"It's nearly 8 o'clock." Salene said shakily, trying to recover from the moment of insight she had just had. "Dinner's over, but if you're hungry I can get you something to eat. Why don't you come downstairs? Trudy and Amber wanted to talk to you about something."

"Me…What would they want to talk to me about."

"You want to start a what," May asked the two of them for the second time, while staring fixedly at the floor.

"We want to start a nursery school, you know, like a day care for mothers with small children." Trudy said patiently.

"And what does this have to do with me again?"

"We thought that you could help us," Trudy answered calmly. Amber meanwhile was beginning to look frustrated. This was the second time that they had gone over the same information.

"Why would you think that?" May asked.

That was it, Amber had heard enough. "Because May," she began, a little louder than was necessary, and with that touch of authority that she usually used to issue orders, "You've got to do something. This isn't good, it isn't healthy. For the last few months you haven't done any work, you haven't helped at all, you don't come out of your room. You barely eat. You can't keep going on like this."

May just sat, staring at her feet looking like she was close to tears.

Trudy was giving Amber a look that told her she thought she had gone too far. At Amber's pause Trudy jumped in to try and smooth things out. "May, what Amber means is that the baby's going to be coming soon and we thought that being around the kids might give you an opportunity to learn a bit. And the work would give you something to look forward to, to take your mind off of your problems. Isn't that what you meant Amber?"

"Sure," Amber said, rolling her eyes, "that's what I meant."

May still sat there, thoughts and memories swirled through her mind…the tribe turning against her, locking her up, kicking her out. A tear ran down her cheek and she found her voice. "You don't have to tell me what you meant, I know. You think I'm worthless, a cheat, a liar, a spy…I'm a bad person and I'll be a bad mother, isn't that what your trying to say Amber?" She looked up at Amber for the first time since she had sat down.

Amber stared back for a moment shocked that May, who had barely spoken a word for the last few months, had reacted so badly to such an innocent suggestion.

"No May, I never said…"

"You didn't have to," May cut her off. "I know how you feel, how you all feel. Maybe I should just leave." With that she got up and walked out of the café.

Trudy and Amber followed close behind, "No May, Stop. We just need to talk about this," Amber was saying, but May had reached the entrance hall. There she had stopped and was staring transfixed at the door.

And there was Lex.

"Lex, what are you doing here," Amber said catching sight of him.

He was staring hard at May, as if he could not look away from her if he wanted to.

"Lex?" Amber prompted again.

Still staring at May he said the first words that came into his head, "Daddy's home," and May crumpled to the floor in a faint.