A/N: As always, thanks to my beta, Le Chat Noir.
A big thank you to all my reviewers and readers! I really appreciate it!
Episode 25: Words Unspoken
By: Elektra
His presence in my mind is looming. Dark and foreboding.
Give in… a voice urges me, I will not let you go until you do…
Let me go? Is he speaking of his unwanted presence?
I wander the streets aimlessly after he attacks me. No, it was not a physical attack, but it was an attack nonetheless.
I cannot get him out of my head. I have tried. He is in my mind, ripping away the control I have built. The restraint I am so very proud of.
I have his darkness. I share his bloodlust. They have always been a part of me. This is apparent in my Executions. But that is not something I give into wantonly.
Give in! He demands still.
How long has it been? A week now?
No one knows where I am. No doubt they think I have disappeared.
He has already done his damage to me.
I have been wandering amongst the shadows aimlessly, hiding from prying eyes. Visions invade my senses. The faces of all those I have executed haunt me.
Give in! He commands one more time. I can take away the guilt. I can give you confidence.
I find myself doing as he asks.
At least, for the most part. There is something stopping me from completely going over the edge and losing my conscience forever.
Her.
How many days is it before I finally decide to return to her? I have lost count.
I will be watching you…his voice then goes silent in my head.
Of course he will be watching me. He intends to see me break completely. He intends to have me under his control.
It will not happen, but he will watch and wait nonetheless.
Now, as I step through the door of my basement hovel, I find my mind and body far less shackled then it was before.
And I see my beautiful angel waiting for me…
Erik pushed himself up in bed, remembering with little clarity the time he had spent wandering the streets after he and Nadir confronted the Leader.
Somehow he had not been able to bring himself to face anyone once he had seen Madeline and Nadir off to safety. Perhaps that was a reaction to the strange power that had overcome his mind prior to leaving the house on Laramie Drive.
He had temporarily lost all contact with the world, truly a ghost. Was it a week? No… more than that. Christine was back at school. It had to have been at least two weeks since that night he had run out of the Giry house in pursuit of his mother.
He had returned to his basement a different man, as Christine had found out when he happened upon her sleeping - quite innocently - in his bed.
He was not so different that she could not recognize him, but different enough that she grew frightened of him.
With a deep breath, Erik pushed himself out of bed and stretched out his tall, lean frame.
He suddenly needed some fresh air.
Student Lounge – an hour later
"I saw it! I saw the ghost!"
Christine's ears perked up at the excited voice bursting through the door to the student lounge. She recognized the boy as one of the set design students – Jacob Lefevre.
"It was the ugliest thing I've ever seen!" Jacob continued. "He had death's face, and this horrible booming voice, and a hole for a nose..." The boy was practically out of breath, "...and he was oozing with nasty pus and slime!"
"Erik does NOT ooze! Anything!" Christine muttered to Meg.
Meg snickered under her breath. "Maybe you should tell your ghost that people are making up stories about him."
Christine glanced away. "I can't," she frowned. "He hasn't spoken to me all week." She shook her head. "I tried to call him, but he doesn't answer. I was debating going to the arts building, but…" she took a deep breath. "…he was so angry at me. Maybe he thought I was breaking up with him or something." Christine looked hopelessly at her friend. "But I wasn't, Meg. I care about him too much to do that. Why can't he understand that I'm just a little freaked out by his new behaviour?"
"Give him time. Even before he … changed, Erik had a habit of overreacting to things. Maybe it'll just take him longer to calm down this time."
"I hope you're right. I really do." Christine sighed. Meg put a hand on her friend's shoulder, squeezing gently.
After a few minutes, Meg spoke again. "Chrissy... does Erik really have a hole for a nose?"
Before she could answer, a noise from the other side of the lounge caught their attention.
A ballet student named Jammes made a sound that could only be described as a "squee". She quickly grabbed the radio beside her and turned the volume up all the way.
The entire lounge was stunned into silence as a beautiful heavenly voice filled the room.
Christine immediately froze. "Meggy?" She whispered. "That… that's on the radio!"
Meg nodded eagerly "This guy is amazing, Chrissy. He has this incredible range! And he apparently wrote the music and words himself."
Christine swallowed nervously. "When did the radio start playing this?" she asked.
"A few days ago. They said someone sent it to them anonymously. Just listen - his voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard!" She swooned along with the other girls in the lounge.
Christine listened carefully to the song. She knew the voice. There was no mistake.
When it was over, Christine grasped Meg's hand. "Who's the artist?"
"The DJs just call him Cam." She replied.
Christine's voice was barely above a whisper. "I just call him Erik…" she said.
"That's HIM?" Meg sputtered. "I thought the voice sounded familiar! I just hadn't heard him sing enough to have made the connection!" She smirked. "If a man sang that way to ME, I wouldn't care about his face either…" Meg stopped when she noticed Christine's rather possessive glare.
"Er… sorry, Chrissy…" she said quickly. "Maybe you should talk to your recluse of a boyfriend. Because I don't think he's going to be allowed to hide for much longer after this."
Arts Building – Music Room (late night)
Erik sat before the piano, furiously composing a new tune on the paper before him. The composition was for her. His Christine. Though whether she would ever see it was another matter.
"I hear Shay gave you a new attitude, Erik," a voice spoke from the window. Erik glanced over to see Laura slipping in. "I'd like to witness it for myself." She smirked.
"What is there to witness?" Erik asked. "There is not much difference aside from the fact I have become far bolder expressing my desires; I am not afraid to rip my mask off in front of frightened college boys; and I have somehow managed to release a hit single."
"I find that first one most interesting!" she smirked. "I am guessing, however, that little miss innocent has yet to let you enjoy the fruits of your boldness?"
"That is none of your business, Laura."
"You may tell her what you did with ME though," she smirked.
"And what, exactly, did I do with you? I did not even SEE you at the house. No doubt you were sleeping the day away in a coffin or some such thing."
"Oh, coffins can be quite comfortable to sleep in." Laura replied. "But I was referring to what you are going to do with me NOW," she finished.
"Which would be?" he asked. "Tell you to go to Hell and hope you burn there?"
"Oh Erik! How rude!" Laura tsk tsk'd.
In a blur of blond hair and pale skin, she was straddling his lap, her fingers entwined in his hair as she pulled his mouth into a rather intrusive kiss.
Erik responded on an instinctive level. She was, after all, an attractive woman.
After several moments, Laura pulled away, eyes dark as she licked her lips. "Finally! I knew you would be a passionate kisser!"
He contemplated the kiss for a few moments, then frowned. "That really didn't do much for me."
Laura seemed shocked. "What? But… your tongue was in my mouth!" she protested.
Erik shrugged. "So it was, but you really don't excite me. Not to mention, you taste like death."
Laura jumped to her feet, eyes wide. The look of shock on her face was priceless. Erik laughed at her indignation, which only made her angrier.
"How could I NOT excite you?" She spat. "I certainly excite your father!"
His laughter quickly died as he grimaced in disgust. "How very disturbing! Why not go after my mother while you're at it. Make it a family thing."
Laura put her hands on hips, glaring daggers at the man before her. "How is it that some little girl turns you on - and yet someone like myself with FAR more experience and skills, does not?"
"Because that little girl, as you call her, is Christine. And you are not." He shrugged. "So goes life. Or un-life, in your case."
She shook her head vehemently. "No! That's… that's not supposed to happen!" she stamped a foot angrily. "You're supposed to be filled with lust and desire!"
"Oh trust me, lovely Laura – I most definitely am. But not for YOU." He explained.
Fuming at his words, Laura screamed in frustration, "You WILL be!" she demanded. "I'll TAKE you from her! I SWEAR I will!" she cried out, then slid through the window and disappeared into the night.
Erik watched her go, then turned back to his composition.
Dean Giry's Office – The next morning
"So," the voice on the other side of the phone spoke to Giry, "you are saying that Erik did his job then?" Gus Leroux, head of the Hunter's Guild, did not seem overly concerned about Erik's recent behaviour. "What, exactly, is the problem here, Ant?"
"The fact that he is suddenly fine with all this after expressing his earlier desire to stop, Gus!" Giry answered.
"His earlier hesitation was a detriment to the Guild. It's better this way. He has gotten over his infatuation with the girl, and-"
"It is FAR more than an infatuation!" Giry informed the man. "He is in love with her!"
"Well, as long as he does what we require of him, I do not care whom he spends his nights with."
"You are not the least bit concerned that the Leader may have a hand in his new attitude?" Giry asked.
"Has he killed any Hunters? No. Has he killed those walking down the street? No. He has only executed his quarry. Your concerns are personal, Ant, and do not pertain to the Guild. If he shows signs of traitorous conduct, THEN you can call me! I am a very busy man! Good day, Madame."
With a loud click, the line went dead.
Giry stared at the phone, shocked by Gus' unfeeling response. He really had no use for Erik aside from what he found beneficial.
She took a deep breath, and cradled the handset.
She only hoped Erik's behaviour did not became dangerous to those around him.
Erik's Room – that afternoon
"What do you want, Christine?" Erik replied when he heard the light knock at his door. He was continuing to write his composition from the comfort of his bed, wanting to avoid Laura at all costs.
He didn't even bother reaching for his mask as Christine walked in. It was not as if she hadn't seen his corpse's face enough times.
"Erik?" Christine began nervously. "I heard something on the radio yesterday…"
"A new song, I presume. By a mysterious new artist." He spoke coldly, seemingly uninterested in her presence – though he was finding it difficult to remain uninterested once he saw how nicely her low-rise jeans fit, her midriff peeking out between the waistband and the bottom of her baby-t. How he wanted to run his hands over that taunting skin.
Erik quickly turned back to his composition, hoping she didn't see the look in his eyes. "I was wondering when you'd find out about that. I hear it is one of the fastest rising songs on the charts."
"I hear it's going to get the artist into trouble if people find out who he really is." Christine frowned. "And you were blasting me for showing Meg where you live!"
Erik shrugged. "No one knows that I am Cam, though. They'll never figure it out."
"Except people will WANT to know. And they'll be DETERMINED to figure it out!" She insisted. "I thought ghosts were supposed to be invisible!"
Christine let out a surprised yelped as Erik suddenly stood before her, leaving barely any space between them. "Not that it is any of your business," he started, "But I do not have plans to be paraded about in public!"
Christine let out a sigh, seeing his mind would not be changed. "If that's what you want, Erik, I won't try to talk you out of it… but… can I ask a question?"
"What?" He growled.
"Why?"
The deep breath he expelled brushed against her hair. He moved forward slowly, causing Christine to step back and meet the wall. "Because I wanted to be heard, angel. Is that really so much to ask?"
His words made Christine's heart ache. He was right, of course. A musical talent like his should be noticed by more than frightened college students who thought he was a ghost.
She affectionately rested her hands against his chest, lifting her head to meet his eyes. "I'm just worried about you," she spoke softly. "If you wanted to stay in hiding, you may not be able to now."
"Ahhh, I see." He pressed his hands against the wall, leaning forward. "You would rather keep me all to yourself." His lips were only inches from hers. "And here I thought you wanted nothing to do with me."
"Erik, please. You know that not what I meant." Christine craned her head up, wanting to close the distance. She closed her eyes, felt his breath on her cheek, tilted her head just a little bit more, and then…
Erik suddenly pushed away, knowing full well what Christine had been trying to do. "I don't know if this is right." He mocked. "Is that not what you said?"
She opened her eyes again, blinking at how he so blatantly refused to kiss her. She glanced away from him, swallowing hard. "I wasn't talking about US, Erik. I was talking about the difference in your-" She stopped and shook her head. What was the point?
She decided to change the subject. "Where did you get the name? Cam I mean."
He turned back to her. "It stands for Christine's Angel of Music…"
"Oh!" Christine gasped, touched by the gesture.
"As I said, my feelings for you will not change." He grasped the composition on his bed and held it out to her. "This song is for YOU, by the way,"
She was surprised, but took the paper and began to read the notes and words, humming it softly. "It's so pretty…"
He circled behind her, looking at the paper over her shoulder. "I have been remiss with your lessons as of late. It is time to start them up once again."
Christine glanced back at him. His voice sounded so distant. "Oh… yes. I would like that."
"Good. But first…" he went to his closet and opened it. "We are going out."
Christine simply stared at him. "Out?" she repeated. "But… you… we… you've never asked me to go out with you before!"
"Then it is about time I did." He answered matter-of-factly.
"It's… still daylight!" she protested. "And you're big on the shadows and darkness!"
"We need to go shopping." He said.
At Christine's surprised look, he explained. "I need your mask-making talents again. Something with material closer to my skin tone so that I may go out and not be so noticeable. I realize that black cotton against skin as pale as mine…" he picked up the other mask she had made and slipped it on,"…is rather conspicuous."
Erik tugged on his duster, then reached up towards the shelf and grabbed the fedora he usually wore to the opera, pulling it down far enough to shadow his face.
"Come now, angel. What woman does not like going shopping?" he asked.
Christine was about to ask him if he was sure, but from the looks of it, he was quite sure. "Um… o… okay then… but… people will give you weird looks."
He shrugged. "As they always do when I go out in public. Nothing to be done for it."
Christine reached out for his hand, disappointed that she came in contact with the leather he had just tugged on rather then his warm skin.
She began to wonder if a trip to the mall was a good idea.
Fairfield Mall – 3 hours later
Christine looked over the objects in her bag as she waited for Erik outside the men's washroom. Light material to blend with his skin tone, black elastics to mesh with his hair. These would make him a mask that wouldn't be as obvious as the one he now wore.
She glanced down at the bags at her feet. Erik had been rather generous, buying her whatever clothing he thought she looked good in – and harshly critiquing anything that she didn't.
She hadn't appreciated the latter.
A cab was to pick them up shortly, as it would be difficult carrying all the bags back on the bus.
With a frown, Christine remembered the bus ride to the mall. It had been awkward, to say the least. Erik seemed to be the center of some rather unwanted attention from the other occupants.
Stares, whispers, unpleasant comments. As if he couldn't see or hear them. It was no wonder he preferred to stay out of sight.
Erik, for his part, had kept a scowl on his face, ignoring both the passengers and the woman at his side.
Christine heard someone call out her name and turned to see a boy she remembered from high school. They two exchanged pleasantries and a hug as they caught up on old times.
She had not even known Erik had returned before she saw him grab the man hugging her and throw him to the ground.
"Keep your hands OFF her!" He growled angrily, preparing his body for a fight.
"ERIK!" Christine snapped angrily. "How DARE you! He's an old friend of mine!"
"How GOOD a friend IS he?" Erik hissed.
Christine looked up at him, eyes wide. She spun on her heel and stormed out of the mall.
Erik watched her for a moment, then turned his attention back to the man he had accosted.
His victim was currently being helped up by another man. Erik studied the way the two were looking at one another, whispering intimately.
He quickly realized that this person had been no threat to his relationship with Christine. "Shit…" Erik muttered. He left the bags and quickly headed out after her.
Ravelle Campus – an hour later
Erik hadn't seen Christine anywhere near the mall after she had run out. Given no other choice, he had run back in to gather their purchases and took the taxi home. No doubt Christine had come back to campus on her own.
He first went to the Arts building to search for her, but had no luck. It was already dark, and the night had grown chilly. He was growing concerned.
Well, of course. Why would she want a music lesson NOW… Erik thought to himself, then quietly condemned what had happened in the mall.
He would not lie – he had always been jealous when it came to Christine Daaé
Ever since he had first developed feelings for her, he had acquired a bad habit of growing angry when another male paid any attention to her. He had been her tutor for a month or so before the first waves of jealousy had become apparent.
He thought nothing of it at first, thinking it was merely the fact he had a female in his presence – a rare occurrence indeed. But then it grew increasingly worse.
How long was it before he finally realized he had feelings for the girl? Several months. It had come to a head when Raoul De Chagny had asked her to marry him.
Erik was lost then. The very pain that went through his body at the thought of being without her had caused him to tear apart his room.
At least that had been in private.
Erik continued to look for his little ballerina. Where was she? He had checked her dorm room with no luck. What if she hadn't made it back at all? What if something had caught her along the way?
It was dark out now. He knew what kind of creatures lurked in the dark.
Erik thought a moment. Where did she go when she was upset?
There was only one place.
Erik quickly headed off campus, down Ivy Avenue, a left turn at Vine Street. As he grew closer to his destination, Erik frowned.
Of course, why should things be so easy? THEY found HIM before HE could find her.
Erik reached into his duster and pulled out a stake, readying himself as the two creatures came towards him.
"The leader sent us…" one of them spoke.
Erik furrowed his brow. "Is that supposed to make things ok? He and I are not on the best of terms."
"Your father wanted us to give you a message." The second one spoke.
"And what message would that be?"
"He wants your company tonight," The first one spoke again. "At Laramie Drive. He has a proposition for you."
"Sorry, I have a date." Erik answered.
"He requests your company NOW!" The first one grabbed for Erik, and immediately fell to dust at the masked man's feet.
Erik turned to the second one. "Tell daddy I'm busy!" he hissed, "Or you will end up like HIM!" He kicked the pile of dust, and the creature ran off.
With a tip of his fedora and a smug smirk, Erik bid him a good night.
Graveyard
"What do I do, daddy?" Christine asked the cold stone slab in front of her. "I really care about him, but sometimes he just scares me." Christine wrapped her arms around herself, shivering in the chilly air.
Can I deal with this? She wondered. I should have known having a relationship with Erik wouldn't be easy. If I thought he was dark and moody before, things are ten times worse now since the Leader did… whatever it was he did.
Christine sighed quietly to herself. Maybe I should have stayed with Raoul. He's safer. Stable. A bit of a jerk at times, but not such a bad guy in the end. Maybe I should have accepted his marriage proposal. Did I make a mistake?
Christine closed her eyes, imagining waking up with her husband, Raoul De Chagny, lying in bed beside her.
As her thoughts grew more vivid, Raoul's handsome face was replaced with another. A face that looked like death, with beautiful golden eyes that made her feel precious every time they focused on her.
She loved those eyes. Loved seeing how they regarded her with such warmth. The soul within was damaged and tormented, but she could also see the heart beneath it.
It was a little worse for wear, that heart. Torn to pieces many times and barely patched together, but it was no less genuine. She loved that heart in all its patchwork glory.
Love…
A gasp escaped Christine's throat.
I love him…
She put a hand to her chest. Daddy, I love him… and it scares me!
She suddenly felt two arms slip around her body, the wrap of a velvet coat – and the feel of the man still wearing it - warming her shivering form.
"Erik…?" She spoke softly.
"Who else?" He muttered, tugging the front of his coat tighter around the both of them. "I grew concerned when I couldn't find you on campus. I did not realize you preferred to stand in a graveyard and freeze."
Despite his words, he could not hide the concern in his tone. It touched her.
Christine sunk back against him, closing her eyes. "Why did you do that?" she asked. "At the mall?"
"You may not appreciate my new attitude, angel…" he began, "But I will be damned if I allow another man to touch you."
"Erik, it was just-"
"I know. You enjoy hugging people. A little too much for my taste!" His voice then grew softer. "Perhaps one day you will give another man more than just a hug."
"No, Erik… I-"
"You may blame my current attitude on the Leader," he continued, interrupting what she was going to say. "But do not be fooled into thinking I never had these thoughts and feelings prior. I will be honest - I do not trust myself to KEEP you. I do not trust that I am worthy enough for you."
"Erik, please don't say that."
"You say I should not refer to myself as a monster. But it is how I have been perceived all my life!" Erik continued, his voice growing shaky.
"I was told no woman could ever love a monster. And so I believed it did not matter how I behaved." His voice then grew determined, "But I have made up my mind now. I will prove to my fa-the Leader that any damage done, CAN be overcome."
He turned her around to face him, still keeping her wrapped within the confines of his coat. He bent his head to meet her eyes. "I am NOT an easy person to love, Christine. I should not have expected you to do so that quickly."
Christine wondered if she should feel guilty for being relieved.
With a deep breath, she rested her forehead against his chest, slipping her fingers through the empty belt loops on his black trousers to prevent him from pulling away. "Erik…. I wasn't breaking up with you. I don't want you to think-"
"I know." He answered. "My harsh words to you were uncalled for."
The warmth suddenly dropped from around her, though Erik did not move away. He shrugged off his duster and slid it around her shoulders, one leather-clad hand coming up to cup her cheek, his thumb tracing her lower lip.
Christine closed her eyes, waiting – no – hoping for a kiss.
Erik lowered his head, his lips barely brushing her ear. "But while loving me may take time…" his voice was low and seductive, his breath warm against her skin. "… you will appreciate my new attitude soon enough."
Christine's stomach fluttered ever so slightly, but he moved away before she could respond. She quickly opened her eyes only to see him walking a few feet ahead of her.
"Come, angel…" He glanced over his shoulder. "We really should get you inside…" He held a gloved hand out to her. It took her a moment to come to her senses and take it.
She could not help but stare up at him as they walked, though he did an admirable job of not noticing, revealing no expression through the mask and keeping his golden eyes dead ahead.
Erik… one day, when I'm brave enough… I'll tell you…
END OF EPISODE 25