Lord William was a kind man and good company, I will say that much for him. He was also no fool. Henry was due to announce our engagement that evening, so he requested I accompany him on a walk beforehand.

'I thought it was proper we should meet again before Henry makes it official.'

'I must admit, I was rather surprised by the request. It was definitely unexpected.'

'I do apologise for that. Truth be told, I didn't expect Henry to agree to it quite so quickly, but then I suppose there's little sense in waiting around.' He was so endearing, I wished I could return some token of his sentiments.

'I understand you're keen to remain at court for your duties and I'm not opposed to the idea, but once we're married you know you wouldn't need to be the Queen's Lady.'

'I appreciate the gesture, William, but Catherine and I are friends. I enjoy my duties as her Lady.'

He stopped mid-stride.

'Charity, I think perhaps it's best we're completely honest with each other about something. Normally, I take no heed of gossip that feeds the rumour mills. More often than not, there's no truth to it and the occasions when there is, well, they can cause more hurt than anything. It's not the most advisable way of relying on obtaining information.'

'I note you said *normally*…' I pressed, trying to ignore the unease settling in my stomach.

'I can't pretend the rumours surrounding you and the Queen haven't reached me. I don't know how much truth there is to them, but I'm informed there's enough to have caused them in the first place.'

'With the greatest respect, if you believe them, why seek a marriage with me at all?'

'Because I believe we make a good match. In any case, I'm aware of the ultimatum Henry issued you.' he informed me. 'Even if the rumours were unfounded, I can't imagine you're keen to face banishment.'

'No, but I'm not particularly keen to face any of this.' I told him honestly. 'It doesn't only concern Catherine, this is my home. The people here are my family.'

'I understand that' He spotted a bench for us to rest on, escorting me to it. 'Your reputation - rumours aside - speaks very highly of you. It's clear you have a good soul and a kind heart. I could see us being quite content with one another. Besides, even you must realise your… "situation"-' that's putting it kindly I thought '-can not continue indefinitely. What I'm offering provides you with some level of security.'

That much was true, even if it wasn't ideal.

'But at the cost of my heart? It's incredibly kind of you, not to mention understanding, but I don't-'

'Charity, I assure you, I have no intention of trying to win your heart before it's ready.'

'Then I'm not sure I understand.'

'What I'm suggesting is this: we start with friendship, allow ourselves time to get to know each other. If during that time, we wish to explore other "interests", shall we say, well... so be it.'

'Could you really accept living like that?' I asked. I was dubious, to say the least.

'It could be worse. I still get the benefit of having a beautiful woman by my side for public occasions and in my bed at nights.' It was every man's dream, surely.

'Keep in mind, I'm not saying you'd have completely free reign. I may be willing to give your heart the time it needs, but I won't be made a fool out of either. I can be patient to make this easier for you, but you'd need to meet me halfway.'

'What did you have in mind?' I asked, albeit reluctantly.

'We would need to keep-up the illusion of a happy marriage. I want heirs, Charity. I need them and, to be frank, so do you. I'm willing to be flexible with our arrangement for a time, but in return I would have to insist on regular intimacies, not limited to those we will share on our wedding night.'

I looked down, trying not to display my lack of enthusiasm for that part of the occasion.

'Yes, somehow I didn't imagine that was a part of this union you'd be awaiting eagerly.' he noted quietly (alright, so apparently I didn't mask it all that well), but he reached out, lifting my chin with his hand until our eyes met. 'But I promise you, I will do everything I can to make it a pleasant experience for you.'

He was so considerate, were it not for my already being in love with Catherine, I might genuinely have been able to see myself feel something for him.

'Why would you be willing to do this?' I asked, forcing a wedge in the moment. 'You're potentially sacrificing your own chance at real happiness, if I'm never able to offer you more beyond friendship.'

'Don't underestimate the value of friendship within marriage. Plenty of marriages aren't afforded the luxury of one, they never even find such common ground. But I want children while I'm young enough to enjoy them. Sharing them with a woman who would bless both them with good genes and me with good company is not a bad start.

In any case, I hope, given time you will grow to care for me and perhaps your heart would even align itself to mine.'

I remained hesitant. It was hard to dash the hopes of someone when they were so optimistic, but I had to make sure there was no doubt about where I stood.

'You're very kind and very understanding, William, but I don't want to promise you any sort of future when it comes to my heart. I won't make promises I'm not sure I can keep.'

He took my hands, a genuineness in his eyes I prayed I wouldn't destroy.

'I won't ask you to do that. All I'll ask of you is that, with the conditions I've stipulated, you'll try.'

I smiled at him, sad but grateful. I had to accept his offer, regardless. I had no choice. But I had to admit, it wasn't a bad compromise and that was certainly preferable to the alternative, wasn't it?

Catherine didn't seem to think so. We agreed it was best to keep some distance that evening when Henry made the announcement, but it hurt just the same.

Later that night, William having escorted me back to my chambers, I lay in bed musing over the realisation that I was engaged. The sorrow this filled me with… how strange it seemed, knowing I was bound to someone yet never having felt quite so alone. I had a deep ache in my heart, a dread that stemmed from deep within me. Unable to ease the feeling, I submitted to crying myself to sleep.

Of course, the fact that we were both suffering meant we avoided the subject as much as possible, but it broke my heart to see what it was doing to her. Whenever we were together, whenever we shared any intimacy... I was merely engaged and already it felt like I was being completely unfaithful to her, the guilt of which hung over us constantly. Much as I tried to comfort her.

'Nothing about this feels wise. Or safe.' Catherine shook her head as her eyes flashed with renewed irritation. 'We'll still have to be far more careful than before, regardless of what he says. And that's not even considering the fact that you'll be trying to get pregnant.'

The words pained her. I watched as she chewed at her fingers in distraction and tried gently to remove them from the proximity of her teeth.

'Please don't think like that. As long as I remain here, we will figure out a way.' I intertwined our fingers.

'What if we can't? And what about-'

'Catherine, stop!' I begged her. I brought her hand to my lips, gently kissed each of her fingers. 'Please. Just stop.'

Everything about our time together changed, tinged with a combination of sadness, bitterness and hatred. As if that wasn't bad enough, it wasn't helped by the fact that we couldn't even seem to align with when we were experiencing these feelings. It seemed that as the wedding came closer, I slowly started losing hope. Meanwhile Catherine discovered a renewed sense of determination and embraced her refusal to admit defeat.

'What happened to your stubbornness? Your sense of fight? Catherine challenged me. 'You're the one who claimed I gave-up too easily before. Where has that Charity disappeared to?'

'There's rather a large difference between Henry's mind games and my being married-off to a husband who actively pursues me to bear his children!' I argued. 'Can you honestly say you'll be able to cope when I'm being intimate with him on a regular basis? Or when I'm pregnant and my belly is growing with his child?'

Neither of us knew the best way to approach this, that much was certain, but we were constantly at odds and it did nothing to allay my fears.

'It's what you wanted, though.' Bash reminded me, after I went on a particularly long tirade about my frustrations. 'No one said it would be an easy journey, but you wanted to figure out a way through this, a way to stay together.'

'That was before I thought about how much of an issue bearing his heirs might become.' I pointed-out. 'I think we may have underestimated how complicated this could become.'

'Perhaps.' Bash agreed 'But perhaps you're also underestimating the depth of Catherine's love for you. Especially if she's now willing to take risks she'd previously avoided the boundaries of.'

"You mean by doing what I used to do?' I gave Bash a pointed look. 'Getting caught-up in the intensity of it all, throwing herself headfirst into things but meanwhile forgetting that there could be real consequences awaiting us?'

'No, by refusing to give up on you.' Bash rolled his eyes. 'I realise you're stressed, but getting over dramatic about it won't help either.'

I bit my lip. He had a point, but one thing he couldn't account for was that I didn't think I'd ever get used to the simple fact that Catherine returned my feelings. We had been through so much already and there had constantly been a small part of me expecting her to wake-up having changed her mind. Genuinely, not just in fear of protecting me. To tell me that, while it had been fun, it was no longer worth the risk and she was done. It continued to baffle me that this day had yet come to pass.

'I do love that she refuses to give up on us.'' I admitted.

'But?' Bash pressed.

'It frightens me.' I admitted. 'We don't discuss what obstacles we might face after. Neither of us want to, I accept that, but ignoring those issues? Pretending they won't become problems doesn't make them go away. Which means we don't have any back-up plans in place, should we need them and back-up plans have always been our safety net. I know it's easier to live in denial, but I feel like I'm about to enter the lion's den without any armour and I'm afraid if I fall….no one will be there to catch me.'

'We will.' Bash insisted, comforting me. 'Talk to her. Keep trying, you'll reach her eventually.'

Not surprisingly, Catherine didn't take well to this assessment either.

'I'm not in denial.' Catherine scoffed. 'I'm all too aware of what we face once you're married, Charity. Don't think otherwise for a single moment.'

'Then why-?'

'Because it doesn't change anything! It doesn't change our feelings or the fact that we're choosing to be together.' She came towards me, grasping my hands firmly in hers. 'If we're both determined not to give in, then we'll find a way. We will! Our love for each other will make sure that remains possible.'

It never ceased to amaze me, the power Catherine had to render me speechless at times. Nor to completely overwhelm me as my heart swelled from such sentiments. What we shared wasn't just about my devotion anymore, it had taken me some time to see this but her feelings had grown every bit as deeply as mine.

'I realise things could change once you become pregnant - I assure you I am not in denial about that. But I'm not willing to use that as an excuse to give-up now. And honestly, Charity, I think you'd be rather disappointed if I did, wouldn't you?'

If anyone knew how to fight for what she wanted, it was Catherine. So disappointment didn't even come close. I knew it wasn't fair of me to feel as such, but it would have broken me.

'I would have been devastated.'

Our hands still together, I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her, holding her firmly in place. Her hands snaked-up my arms, gripping me. Our faces were so close, our lips barely apart, I kissed her once and rubbed her nose gently with mine.

'The thought of losing you now…' my voice tailed-off as Catherine placed a finger on my lips, hushing me. She then reached her hand behind my neck, bringing our lips together. She slowly guided me backwards until I made contact with the bed and she pushed me down onto it. As she moved above me and I looked up at her face, I was struck by the intensity of my emotions. This marriage would ruin us if we let it, but I couldn't lose her. I just couldn't.

She lowered herself onto me and we lay together, losing ourselves in the sweetness of our lips. After a while she stopped, resting her forehead against mine and said.

'I love you. Don't ever doubt that, not for a moment.'

She then resumed the kissing, relentless with her lips as they moved down along my neck. Sensitive as it was to her touch my legs parted almost instinctively, my knees rising to hold her firmly in place while my hands wrapped around her waist, clutching her against me. She ran one hand up my thigh, grazing my skin with her fingertips, teasing me as she raised my skirt higher still. I let out a whimper as she moved to unfasten my corset, releasing me from its confines. Once she freed my breasts, she stopped again. She did this on occasion, taking moments to gaze upon them before taking them in her mouth (I found it awkward at times, but I had the same fascination with hers, so I could hardly complain). She lingered longer than usual this time and I was about to say something when she took me by surprise. Her lips finally came into contact with my breasts, but I hadn't noticed as her hand disappeared under my raised skirt, so when I felt her fingers simultaneously come into contact with me, I gasped at the unexpected touch.

She barely paused as we made eye contact… touching me, caressing me, making her hand wet with my arousal. I closed my eyes, biting down hard on my lips, gripping the bed sheets tightly in my hands as I tried in vain to suppress my moans, but I couldn't stop myself.

'Oh god…. Catherine!'

My hands clutched her tighter, one gripped her arm, moving with it as she continued to work my pleasure spot. She kissed me hard.

'Open your eyes.' She ordered. 'Look at me.'

I did as instructed and for a few moments that eye contact heightened the intensity so incredibly, before she went that step further and her face disappeared from my sight. I closed my eyes once again, knowing what was coming and ready for it to take me completely.

She removed her hand, replacing it to tease me with her lips… kissing me, taunting me... just for a few moments until I felt her tongue on me. She played with me, tasting me, making me writhe with breathless shudders. I gave in to the pleasure, ready to be sent to heaven.