Once I was absolutely certain William was asleep, I found my slippers, wrapped my robe around me, retrieved the empty vial and slipped out the room. Luckily the corridor was empty, but I needed to find an entrance - any entrance - to the secret passageways. It was vital I wasn't spotted, but even then my relief would not come until I had reached my destination safely.

I arrived at Catherine's chambers, the air filled with discontentment as she sat by the fire looking decidedly miserable. She turned, hearing the click of the door closing behind me.

'Charity, what are you doing here? Did something happen?' she came to me, concerned.

'N-no, Catherine, I'm fine.'

'You're not fine, you're shaking! Come, sit.' She led us to the chaise, rubbing my arms and back as she sat us down. 'What's happened?'

'I… I couldn't do it, Catherine. I couldn't go through with it.' My voice was trembling as badly as my hands were. It had to be the adrenaline, the overwhelming stupidity of my actions. 'He was being so lovely and kind and so considerate of my feelings and unease. He couldn't possibly have been more understanding, but I-'

Catherine had stopped rubbing my back now. I closed my eyes, taking a moment to collect my thoughts while I tried to process my actions.

'We were kissing and it was all perfectly fine and then all I could think about was you. About how much pain this caused you and how my heart belongs to you and the very thought of having his lips on my skin was just wrong! I had to get out of there.' I was trying to control myself but I was trembling so much.

'Charity, what did you do?' Catherine moved my hair back away from my face.

'Nostradamus gave me a sedative.' I said, removing the vial from where I'd hidden it in my corset. 'I'd only meant to use it on myself but…'

'You drugged him?' Catherine was horrified, though not as much as I was. I'd never done anything like that, not outside of her orders.

'I didn't mean to. I thought he'd taken the wrong glass but I... I think perhaps I did it without thinking.' Catherine got up and began pacing. 'Luckily he was already on the bed when it took effect, but then- '

'You panicked and fled.' She finished for me.

'No!' I rose to my feet, needing to explain. 'No, there was no panic. Once it was done, everything was so clear to me. All I could think about was you, it was as though my body decided of its own accord to bring me here to you.'

There was a moment while we were allowed the reality of my actions to sink in: I had essentially abandoned my husband on our wedding night and had submitted to my heart's will, leading me to the one I was longing for. Catherine began pacing again - I may have had clarity but she was more concerned about where we now found ourselves.

'Charity, I'm relieved you're alright, but I'm not sure-'

'I know, Catherine! I know I shouldn't have done it! There's no excuse for my behaviour except that my subconscious wanted me to follow my heart and I chose not to fight it.' Catherine finally stopped her pacing, her back to me. 'Even as my legs carried me here, I kept telling myself to stop and turn back. But all I could think about was how I should be spending my wedding night with the one I love.'

I took her arm, forcing her to turn and face me.

'That's what I want, but I know I've behaved rashly here. If you want me to go back to his chambers, say the word and I'll go. I swear it.' I reached for her hands. 'Tell me what you want me to do, Catherine.'

I watched her, fighting so hard to choose a side in the battle between her head and her heart. Indeed, she took so long to reply I almost stepped away, fearful I might actually have gone too far this time. She reached out, stroking my cheek with her thumb and finally spoke.

'Stay with me.'

Just like that, hearts claimed victory. She pulled me close and kissed me deeply. We moved towards the bed, our lips barely parting as we removed our robes, untying my corset. As we fell together on the bed, leaving our garments in disarray on the floor, I wondered if we would ever be able to stop ourselves playing so close to the fire.

I woke some time later, nestled in Catherine's arms. I could have stayed there for hours, but I still had to sneak back to Williams chambers (I was having trouble thinking of them as 'ours'). The longer I stayed, the riskier that became.

I nuzzled gently into her neck, breathing in her scent with a few light kisses. She stirred slightly.

'Shh, sleep.' I whispered, removing myself carefully from her hold and pulled away.

I snuck back through the secret passageways and into the room. William was as soundly "asleep" as when I'd left him. He looked so peaceful I experienced a momentary twinge of guilt, but I ignored it, climbing into the bed beside him.

When he did wake, he was rather confused as to why he found himself still almost fully clothed.

'I guess you consumed more wine than we'd realised.' I suggested. 'Once we reached the bed you just weren't able to fight the effects.' He was still confused.

'So we didn't…?' I shook my head.

'At all?' His confusion turned to disbelief.

'I'm afraid not.'

'Oh, Charity, I'm-'

'No, please don't apologise!' I stopped him abruptly, my hand up. 'It was a long day for both of us. I was perfectly happy to just rest.' He seemed satisfied with this explanation and stroked my cheek.

'Well, I'd suggest a second attempt, but we are leaving tomorrow and I have some business to attend to before then.'

'Yes, the tour.' I reached for my robe and rose from the bed. 'You've yet to tell me where we're going. Or how long we'll be away.'

'All will be revealed shortly. Try not to worry. Remember, you're meant to enjoy it.'

We dressed and prepared to leave for breakfast. As William reached for my hand to escort me, his expression changed.

'Charity, where's your ring?'

I looked at my finger, staring in surprise at the space where it should have rested,

'Oh, god, it must have slipped-off again!' I'd not even noticed, which meant it could be anywhere.

'Don't worry, we knew it was loose.' he comforted me. 'Let's have a look, I'm sure we'll find it easily enough.'

'No!' I cried in panic. He looked understandably shocked. 'I just mean, I'll have one of the servants look for it. They have to settle the room anyway.'

He seemed unsure.

'They're perfectly trustworthy, William, I assure you. I'm friends with most of them and the others wouldn't dare cross me.'

'Fear of the Queen's wrath?' he teased me.

'Something like that.' I smirked.

He took my arm and we continued on our way.

I spoke with a servant about the ring, making sure she knew to return it to me when found. There was little for me to do before we left for the tour and it was hard to focus my thoughts on what I might return to, so Bash took the time to distract me with a horse-ride.

'I know you'd prefer to spend your time with Catherine before you leave, but from what I hear, she's in no mood for company. Yes, even you.' he added off my look. 'Your wedding clearly affected her much harder than she'd prepared herself for.'

She was definitely suffering more than she'd needed to and it was my fault. I wasn't sure I could bring myself to explain to him why, but he could see the guilt clearly on my face.

'Charity, don't do that to yourself. It's to be expected you'll feel some level of guilt for this, but it was the only solution.'

He really had no idea. I sighed, a deeply heavy sigh. 'I don't know, Bash. Maybe my being away is just what we need. Perhaps the time apart will help.'

'Help you reconnect?' He asked. Then he looked at me, considering my demeanor. 'No, you surely don't mean allowing yourselves to part and heal separately? Are you worried your heart will find comfort with William?'

'My heart will always belong to Catherine, regardless of what happens on this tour. I can be forced to marry William and bear his children, but I won't force that.'

'So you think her feelings will change if you're apart long enough?' he concluded.

'She's so used to having to rely on her own strength, building-up these walls to hide behind. My worry is that that's exactly what will happen.' I said, ignoring the rising sadness these words invited. 'I do want to enjoy the tour, I'm determined to. But I can't stop myself worrying about what I might return to. I've already caused her enough pain as it is.'

'I think you need to remember, this situation is every bit her doing as much as it is yours. You can't take all the responsibility for her suffering.' Bash remarked bitterly.

No, just most of it. I thought bitterly.

'Actually, I can and I think I have to.' I admitted, bringing my horse to a stop. 'I may have done something rather reckless.'

'For you to admit that, it must have been extremely foolish.' I couldn't meet his eyes. 'Charity, how concerned do I need to be?'

I wanted to tell him. I really did because I wasn't sure I could figure this one out on my own. But at the same time I was too afraid. I shook my head.

'Sometimes it's best to be left in the dark.' I prodded my horse and headed back to the castle.