Hey, again. So here's another chapter and thanks to the people who reviewed. So hopefully this is good.
Disclaimer- I don't own any of the characters or anything that has anything to do with The OC, nor do I own The Valley, just my little story. I'm only having fun, please don't be mean.
Reviews are always good!
It was around 9pm on a Saturday night, Julie and Caleb were away at some Newport function and Marissa had fallen asleep on the couch after hearing Rachael Yamagata's voice signing the sweet lyrics of The Reason Why. That was the song that started it all; her and Alex. Marissa began to cry and soon enough she cried herself to sleep. And when she awoke she found a message from Ryan on her voicemail.
He had become much more possessive since they had gotten back together. It was as if he were afraid that she'd find another "Alex" and leave him. In truth, Ryan hated Alex for tormenting Marissa like that. From his perspective, Alex pressured Marissa into that relationship and it was all her fault. They were never in love or had a future. Alex was Marissa's transition person before she went on to Ryan again; until he was done with Lindsey, and ready for her.
Marissa grabbed her phone and started dialling Ryan's cell number. He picked up on the 3rd ring.
"Hello?"
"Hey Ryan, it's me," Marissa spoke as she wiped away the stale tears.
"I called you like 3 hours ago, why didn't you return my call?" His voice began to sound harsh and interrogating.
"Sorry, I fell asleep on the couch and must have slept through the ring," Marissa said trying to sound as innocent as possible.
"Oh….Ok? I was wondering if you wanted to hangout tonight, you know your mom and Caleb are away for the night. Maybe I could stop by?" Ryan's voice was laced with desire. Marissa began to kick herself for telling him that they were gone, she really didn't want to have to bring him over and create some excuse for him to go, seeing as her parents were out at that stupid party, what could she do?
"Yeah sure, just give me a little bit of time to clean up. Ok?" Marissa tried to hide the discomfort in her voice.
"Yeah sure, I'll be there in an hour. Bye."
"Great, this will be an interesting night," she said after she hung up.
It had been almost an hour since they talked and Marissa was just pacing around the spacious living room waiting for Ryan to arrive. She began to dread the fact that he was coming over and wondered why she hadn't just made an excuse so she could get back to her brooding. Lately she began to wonder why she was even with Ryan. Yeah he was kind of smart, good looking, friends with her friends, and they did have a long and intense past… But was that enough of a reason to be with him? She came to realize that maybe they got back together only because everyone expected them to, and not because she wanted to. That night at the bonfire was when it all started, Marissa found that she was too emotionally drained from her break-up with Alex and just decided to pick up where her and Ryan left off. It was just so much easier than wallowing in self pity. Marissa was taken from her thoughts when she heard a knock at the door. Marissa slowly opened the front door to see Ryan standing there with a huge grin plastered to his face.
"Hey," he said with his droopy eyes running over her body. He leaned in to kiss her, but as he was moving in she turned to face, and he got her cheek. He just stood there with a questionable face. Marissa tried to get rid of the awkward moment.
"Hey to you, too. So what did you want to do tonight?" Marissa asked as she moved for him to come into the mansion.
"Well I borrowed some seasons of "The Valley" from Seth, so I thought that we could start with those and see where the night takes us," he said obvious that he had something else panned also.
"Yeah, sure. I'll go and get some sodas and I'll meet you in there in a sec?" said Marissa as she was walking away and trying to sound interested in the re run idea.
They had been sitting on the couch for about an hour and although "The Valley" was won of Marissa's beloved T.V. shows she couldn't help but let her mind wonder to other things, instead of paying attention to the episode. Marissa's mind started to jump into her past relationships. She started to think about her and Ryan and how they had broken up and how heart broken she was when she realized that he and Lindsey were becoming very close. Then her thoughts fast forwarded to DJ, he wasn't love. He was a mild attraction, just someone to hold onto while she continued her fall. Then there was Alex. That's where her mind stopped. She loved Alex. She loved her and treated her so horribly because she couldn't get the of idea 'miss perfect' being in love with a girl. So she sacrificed everything that she had worked so hard for to get just for her image. Marissa's thoughts began to linger around Alex and their first date. Marissa was soon lost in her own mind when she saw the beach that Alex took her to on Valentine's Day. She remembered every little detail like it was yesterday. There was a warm breeze that brought their bodies closer together as they watched as the tide turned. Marissa began to relive her anxiety about that moment where she and Alex's lips were closing in on each other. She felt an array of emotions, but one stuck with her; love. Marissa remembered that night that she began to fall in love with this girl. She could feel that they were meant to be, and everything in her life was beginning to make sense. Kind of like the pieces of her life were finally falling into place and it was all because of Alex. Marissa was so close to Alex that she could smell the other girl's hair. Their lips were mm's apart when…
"Hey, I've got to go to the bathroom. Do you mind if I pause it?" Ryan asked as he grabbed the remote.
"Uh what?...Oh yeah sure," Marissa said as she was trying to mentally compose herself. Ryan was already out of the room before she responded.
A few minutes later, Ryan had come back, but instead of sitting on the other side of the couch he sat closer to Marissa- close enough to start the thing he had planned. Marissa, on the other hand was trying to get back to what she was thinking about, seeing as concentrating on "The Valley" wasn't getting anywhere. As her mind began to drift back to that night, she was pulled from her thoughts and thrown back into reality when she felt a hand at her side and saw Ryan's eyes looking through her.
That's just another thing Marissa always thought about when she was with Ryan his eyes and how they compared with Alex's. When she looked into Ryan's eyes all she saw was eyes, yeah there were some good memories that they had shared but she wouldn't feel anything when she looked at him. But whenever Marissa and Alex had looked into each other's eyes it felt like an eternity had past between them, when it had been just a few seconds. It felt like the entire world was made for them and freeze upon their command. Marissa could always see and feel the emotions that Alex had for her whenever she looked into her eyes. She always felt Alex's love for her- even if they were fighting- she could always see it, because no matter what, it would always be there- only for her.
Ryan started to kiss her. She kissed back without any emotion- he'd never know. After a few minutes of making out Marissa soon found Ryan climbing on top of her and she was pushed down to lying on the couch. She began to notice that Ryan's hands were beginning to wonder, and her shirt was slowly being unbuttoned. The only was she was going to get through this little make out session was if she were to think about something pleasant. So she decided to think about someone pleasant. Marissa focused her mind on Alex. She wanted Alex to be the one who was undoing her shirt so much more than Ryan could ever understand. So Marissa closed her eyes and tried to bring the feeling of Alex to her. While Marissa was concentrating on Alex, Ryan snaked his arm around her lower back to get closer to her, but as he moved his arm it grazed her tattoo. Their tattoo. Ryan didn't even know that she had it- no one knew she had it besides her and Alex. Marissa always made an effort to wear dresses or longer shirts so that no one could see it. She didn't do this because she was ashamed of it; she did it because she wanted to keep it to herself. The tattoo was the only physical thing that reminded her of Alex and there was no way that she would ever let anyone take it away from her. Ryan began to rub her back where the tattoo, this was the point where she couldn't take it anymore. Marissa's eyes shut open- she couldn't take it- he was going to far- she couldn't deal- she couldn't play this game anymore- there was only one person who she'll ever want, and he was her.
"Ryan, stop. I'm not feeling well." Marissa said as she was beginning to fake a stomach ache by grabbing her stomach.
"Fine. I'll go, as usual." he growled under his breath, as he got up and made his was to the door.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Marissa said as she was opening the door.
"Well, it's not like you EVER want to be with me. We never do anything!" Ryan's voice was getting louder with every word.
"Well I'm sorry for not being ready!" Marissa yelled sarcastically right into his face.
"By the looks of it, you'll never be ready! Before we broke up, we were inseparable and could get through anything. We reached new heights mentally and physically. But after that punk bitch, you never seem to want me!" Ryan's face was beginning to get red, and he was yelling at the top of his lungs. He was saying the things that he had been thinking all along.
"What gives you the right to call her that! Her name is Alex Kelly! And she wasn't a punk bitch! She's the most wonderful girl, person, that I've ever met, and the only person that I've ever fallen for. So don't you talk about her like that! She's not the fuck up, I am!" the words were pouring out of her mouth before she could even think. But she knew she had to say them, she had been feeling them for so long and they were bound to come out sooner than later, "She was the only person who loved me for me, not for something that she thought I could be- but for what I was. Alex always treated me with love and respect and made me feel like I was the only person in the world. And I'M SICK OF EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT HER LIKE SHE'S THE FUCKING DEVIL! Because she's not, she's an angel. She always will be." Marissa's face was covered with tears. She wasn't crying because she was angry with Ryan, she was crying because this was the first time she said aloud everything that made Alex Alex and all of the things that made Marissa fall in love with her. And at this exact moment Marissa knew that she couldn't ever get over Alex, no matter how hard she tried, there would always be this feeling that remains.
"What the hell! Are you leaving me for that loser!" Ryan said with a disgusted look on his face.
"Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying." Marissa said as a smile formed on her lips. "I'm sorry, but we can't go on like this. I need to be with the person I love, not with you. I'm sorry, Ryan. Goodbye," And with that Marissa shut the door on him and she still had that smile on her face, except that now it was growing even bigger.