AN: Sorry this was uploaded so late. I have a job where I am working all day, it's only for over christmas but no joke I'm up and 6 and I've been home 30 minutes now, so I got home at 11:10pm.

In this chapter we have mentions of the M rated stuff. So yeah.

Disclaimer. Same as always.

Emily didn't notice Reid coming up to her, jumping when someone tapped on her leg.

"Sorry Spencer, everything okay?" He nodded, sitting down next to her.

"Can we go home? I feel awkward here and bad for leaving JJ in the car" Emily frowned, looking him in the eye.

"JJ's attitude isn't making you feel like this is it?"

"No I promise, it's just, she hasn't been sleeping and I know when I don't sleep I get grumpy and it's not fair that she should be penalised when she never wanted to come here anyway. Besides, I don't like her being alone" She smiled at how childish his consideration was and nodded, taking his hand and leading him back to the car. The ride home was silent, JJ practically jumping out the car and storming into the house before the car had stopped properly.

"Spencer, go and sit in Dad's office while I talk to JJ okay?" He nodded and he and Emily went in together, Spencer going straight to Hotch's office, but making sure the door was open so he could hear everything. He knew it was wrong but he was just as concerned as the rest. Emily saw JJ sitting at the kitchen table, slamming the door behind herself and heading straight for the blonde, the pair having a stare off as she approached.

"You are going to explain to me right now why you are acting like a spoilt brat. I know you aren't really 11 years old and the real JJ would never act like this. You are a lot older than Reid is right now, you can control yourself more!"

"Why should I tell you? It's not like you're my real mom!" JJ spat, standing to face the brunette. It was a lot harder to be intimidating because of her height difference but she certainly wasn't put off by Emily.

"JJ what the hell is wrong with you? You aren't taking anybody else's feelings in consideration."

"What about my feelings? Ever stop and think about that? I told you I never wanted to go the park and oh- what did you do? You went to the freaking park" JJ had avoided the park ever since she was 11. She even ran around the one by her street so she wouldn't have to look at one. She always held it in on cases but on her own free will she would never step foot in one again.

"What is it with you and parks? Bring back bad memories does it?" Emily shouted sarcastically, JJ freezing at the harshness in her voice. Images of her mother and father flashed before her eyes, the feeling of skin to skin contact from her father making her cringe and she eyed Emily's clenched fists, the fear clear in her blue orbs. Her breathing became short, all the memories of abuse and horror coming back to her as she took a step back from Emily. She brunette softened as she saw the genuine fear in the blonde's eyes, hearing how laboured her breathing had become.

"JJ?" She questioned, the blonde snapping and bolting from the kitchen, sprinting straight to her bathroom, the door slamming and being locked behind her. Emily quickly ran after her, the two running ladies bringing Reid to his senses as he followed Emily. She banged on the door; JJ's sobbing being heard through the thick wood.

"JJ open the door right now!" Emily shouted, suddenly very concerned for the blonde wellbeing.

"Reid go and ring Hotch right now and tell him to get home!" She shouted to Reid, the 8 year old scrambling for the house phone outside the room and dialling his boss's number which he knew off by heart.

"Aaron McGowan"

"Dad get home quick! Somethings wrong with JJ!" Hearing the urgency in his voice and the fact he forgot to call him Hotch and called him dad scared him, Hotch running out the office.

"I'll be there in 5." Hotch thanking god his work was only 5 minutes way. He ran back into the room, seeing Emily sitting on the floor outside the bathroom.

"JJ please open the door. I'm sorry okay." She pleaded, tapping on the door.

"He is on his way. What do you want me to do?" Emily shook her head, looking away from the door.

"I need you to go and wait for Hotch."

"No Emily I am not actually 8, I am a grown man and I want to help." He snapped back, hating how she was keeping him in the dark.

"Reid I don't know how you can help because I don't even know what to do!" She shouted, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

"I'm sorry okay. It's just scaring me how she has locked herself up." He said, sitting down next to her.

"I'm scared too." The room filled with silence, the only sound being JJ's pacing and the occasional outburst from her crying. 5 minutes later the front door opened, Emily and Reid running into to living to find a very distressed Hotch.

"What's going on? Where is JJ?"

"I don't even know what happened. I told her we were going the park this morning and she flipped and when we arrived at the park we argued and I left her in the car. When we came back home we argued and she froze. The second she snapped out of it she ran into the bathroom and hasn't come out since. I'm worried Aaron." Emily explained, the genuine concern on her face only scaring Hotch more.

"What was the last thing you two said to each other before she ran?"

"She said something like I wasn't taking her feelings into account and I said something about a bad childhood" She explained, Hotch gasping as he put his head into his hands. She froze, looking at him wide eyed.

"What? What is it?"

"Stay in here." He said, walking to their room. He knocked on the door, hating the sound of her crying. He had heard her crying but not like this and not with such pain.

"JJ sweetie it's me. Can I come in?"

"Go away." she shouted back, Hotch sighing as he pressed his head against the door.

"JJ I am not going anywhere until you let me in. It's just me okay? Please JJ let me in." After a few moments of silence the lock clicked, Hotch waiting a few seconds before walking in, shutting the door behind him. The sight that greeted him broke his heart. JJ was sitting on the floor in a ball, her head buried between her knees. He sat down opposite her, watching as she quickly crawled onto his lap, her sobs painful to his ears.

"JJ calm down okay. I know this is hard."

"No you don't. She told me she felt sorry for everyone who lived with me when I was a kid. I knew I was the reason why she killed herself, I knew it! She was so angry Hotch, I could see the same anger in her eyes that my dad had." She cried, clinging onto him like a life line.

"JJ she didn't know okay. She hasn't had a family before so it's a little stressful for her. You know better than anyone that she would never hurt you like your dad did. She is your best friend."

"I don't know what I know anymore. My memories are all scrambled and I just don't know anymore."

"Why didn't you tell us JJ?"

"Because I can't. I feel like I'm 11 again and I don't like it. I started self-harming when I was 11 Hotch and I've been 5 months clean. I don't want those feeling to overtake me again."

"JJ we won't let you- Wait? 5 months?"