I may or may not have picked up the bad habit of skipping classes at the academy from Naruto. In my defense, I normally skip them to train, not to prank like Naruto.
Although, I do help him sometimes, too.
"Hey Kiku-chan!" A cheerful voice calls from up in a tree. I look up to see Shisui waving before he jumps down to stand in front of me. The fact that he's approaching me less than a week after I told Shikaku about my distrust of Danzo isn't lost on me.
"Hey Shisui!" I smile up at him, relaxing my stance from my kata.
"I didn't recognize the katas you were working on, where did you learn them?"
"Genma found a book on Uzushiogakure taijutsu!" I can't help my excitement. "But they don't count it at the academy, it has to be academy katas for all our upcoming tests." I feel myself deflate at the thought. I sucked at what little academy taijutsu we've learned.
"I think I can help you out with that," Shisui grins before picking me up and throwing me on his back.
"Woah!" I grip onto his shirt tightly. "You coulda warned me first, 'ttbane!"
"But what fun is that Kiku-chan?" I pout, but he can't see me so it doesn't work. I puff out my cheeks before resting my chin on the top of his head as he walks away from the creek I was training beside.
"Where are we going?"
"The Uchiha compound. We can't have you getting caught skipping, now can we?"
"Nope," I giggle, as Shisui fakes dropping me. "You're so mean Shisui-nii!"
"Me?" He gasps. "I'm never mean!" He just laughs as I hit his shoulder.
"Don't I have a better chance of getting caught in the Uchiha compound, though?"
"Nah, not with me aroun-"
"Shisui." Itachi cuts his cousin off, his arms crossed over his chest. "What are you two doing?"
"Going to get dango, wanna join?" Itachi looks at us for a minute until his shoulders relax a tiny bit.
"I will not turn down free dango."
"Hey! Who said it was free?"
"You when you forced us to come with you, Shisui-nii."
"You're lucky you're cute kiku-chan."
"You're not my type."
"Eh?" Shisui says, stopping in the middle of the open gate to the compound. "Don't tell me you're in little Sasuke's fanclub!"
"Duckbutt is even worse than you, stupid." I see Itachi's eyebrow twitch at the nickname as Shisui almost drops me for real because he's laughing too hard.
"Why-" he gasps for air. "Why are we so bad?"
"'Cause you're boys? And Sasuke's worse 'cause all he does is talk about Itachi." Shisui snorts as he starts walking again. "And I'm sure you're super cool, 'tachi, but like we don't even talk about the hokages that much ya know?"
"I take no offense, Kikuko." Itachi finally says, his lip tilted upwards only slightly.
"Ne, Kiku-chan if you don't like the boys, are there any girls you like?" Shisui cuts in, and I can just hear his eyebrows wiggling.
"No, but they don't like me so I haven't talked to them to know."
"How can someone not like you?" Shisui asks, and for a moment I feel a pang in my chest. I feel myself stiffening up. Is he saying that to make fun of me? The girls in my class, when they would talk to me, would often phrase things like that as an insult.
"Shisui did not mean for that to come across as rude, Kikuko." Itachi says, as if he can read my thoughts.
"Eh? Of course I didn't! You're a miracle worker, Kiku." I feel my cheeks heat up and drop my head to Shisui's shoulder to hide my face.
"I don't know why they don't like me. Ino sits by me in kunoichi classes sometimes, though I think it's just 'cause she and Naru get along."
"Inoichi's kid and Naruto get along?"
"Yeah, when Naru isn't with me, Shika, and Choji at school, he's normally with Ino. Sometimes I think that they're twins and we got mixed up."
"I heard about you two talking seals in class the other day, you and Naruto are certainly the twins," Itachi says as we approach a vendor stall.
The elderly Uchiha woman gives us all a kind smile as Shisui digs into his pockets to pay. Soon we've found a spot in the shade of a large tree near the fence of the compound. Itachi sits up straight across from me and Shisui. We're both leaned back against the tree as he hands the dango out to us.
"Honestly, what's up with prodigies and dango?" Shisui asks under his breath.
"I've never had it before," I shrug taking my first bite. I immediately love it. "But I know I can never live without it again."
"How have you never had dango?" Shisui asks, a piece falling out of his mouth. I roll my eyes at him. He's wasting food. And damn good food at that.
"We don't have the extra money for it. All the food is really expensive in the markets, ya know?"
"Food prices are not that high, Kiku-chan." Itachi says, holding his dango like it's the most precious thing in the world.
"The vendors hate us, so they're higher." I say, moving my feet back and forth. I hate admitting stuff like this, but knowing these two they'll push until I tell them what they want to know.
"I'll mention it to my father later," Itachi says. His eyebrows are furrowed and it's upsetting that this is the most emotive I've seen him. I crawl over to Itachi and flop in his lap, leaning my back against his chest.
"It's okay, tachi-nii!"
"No, it's not." His voice is firm as he wraps an arm around me while his free hand holds his dango tightly. I pout at his insistence while Shisui laughs at me. I ignore him.
We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out under that tree. It was the safest I'd felt in weeks since our Anbu hasn't been around. Until I was leaving the compound. I felt them. Why was I right?
I hate being right.
Especially in this world.
Shisui immediately saw that something was wrong with me and pulled me up into his arms. I hid my face in his neck as he took us out of the Uchiha compound towards my apartment. We had to drop Itachi off at the main house, Mikoto offered for me to stay for dinner, but I didn't want to leave Naruto out. Besides, we had fish at home. I still needed to cook.
But now that's out the window. I close my eyes and focus on finding Kakashi or Tenzo. They're both in the village. I let out a sigh of relief and relax further into Shisui.
"Gonna tell me what's wrong, Kiku-chan?" He asks after we make it to my apartment.
"Nope, but can you take Naru back to the compound for dinner?"
"And why not you?"
"I've gotta go bug Kakashi-nii."
"You're missing out on Auntie Mikoto's famous Udon to mess with Kakashi?"
"Yup!" Shisui sighs, putting me down on my own feet. As soon as I open the door, Naruto comes running out and plows into Shisui. Shisui picks him up and sits Naruto on his shoulders.
"Ne, ne where are we going Shisui-nii?"
"We're going to Auntie Mikoto's for Udon tonight!" Naruto gives his sunshine smile as I shut the door and follow them down the steps. Once we get outside of our building, I start heading towards Kakashi until Naruto realizes I'm not with them.
"Kiku, where are you going?"
"I'm gonna go grab dinner from a stall tonight, I had dango with 'tachi and Shisui earlier, so now it's your turn! And you get to hang out with Sasuke and their parents, too!" Naruto's eyes widen before he waves excitedly.
"Kay, see you tonight!"
"Later," Shisui waves as well. It's clear that he wants to talk about what I'm doing later rather than saying goodbye. I'll deal with all of that later. I have to go to Kakashi. And then most likely the hokage. Because I'm five years old and the last thing I need to be doing is trying to stop the events that will end in a coup or massacre.
"Kiku-chan?" Kakashi's hair is even more messy than normal as he scoops me up and into his arms.
"I'm sorry for waking you up Kashi-nii, but I-" I look to the open door and he sighs, shutting it behind us and walking towards his bed. He sits down and slaps a seal on the wall. "There's a bunch of creepy masked guys watching the Uchiha compound, and they have the bad seal Tenzo-nii has." Kakashi doesn't say anything in response. Instead, he rolls his head back until it hits the wall.
"We're going to have to go to Jiji," He eventually says.
"Naru is with Shisui-nii, they're going to dinner at 'tachi's house," I cuddle closer to Kakashi's chest as he puts on his hitai-ate.
"When did you sense them?" He stands up, shifting me on his hip as he puts on his sandals by the front door.
"When we were leaving the compound, less than an hour ago." Kakashi lets out a long breath before canceling the seal.
"Not a word about this until Jiji activates a seal, okay Kiku?"
"Okay." I lean my head against his neck, closing my eyes tightly. I'm sure he can feel the tears starting to soak his shirt, but he doesn't say anything. Soon I feel Tenzo's chakra beside us as we move closer to the hokage tower.
"What's wrong, Kiku?" Tenzo asks, a steadying hand on my back.
"Missed you," I can barely understand the words myself, but I think they understand. Kakashi passes me over to Tenzo, letting me cry into his flak jacket. Tenzo rubs my back in soothing circles the entire way to the tower. Soon we're barging into the Hokage's office, the secretary at the door yelling at us but not doing much else to stop us.
"Ah, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Jiji asks as soon as Kakashi slams the door. You could never pay me enough to become hokage. Ever. Especially since there's something off in the room. It feels kind of like the Root seal, but not as malevolent?
"Private audience, please Hokage-sama." Kakashi says. I feel the Anbu leave the room, but one stays behind.
"That means you too, stupid," I say to the root agent trying to conceal his chakra in the corner. Tenzo drops a kiss to the top of my head, and I can just feel him trying to contain his amusement. His chakra rolls in waves as it coats mine, and I can't help but giggle at the tickling feeling.
"There's no need to be so rude to my Anbu, Kikuko," Jiji finally says.
"He's your Anbu?" I ask, turning my head to finally look at the old man.
"He is."
"Seals, Hokage-sama." Kakashi sighs, moving to sit in one of the chairs across from the Hokage's desk. I feel the seals activate before I drop the bomb.
"Why do you have Anbu watching the Uchiha clan?" His pipe falls out of his mouth.
"I do not have Anbu watching the Uchiha, why do you ask that, Kikuko?"
"'Cause your Anbu guy has the same bad seal that the other guys watching the compound did."
"Needless to say, my team isn't taking any more missions from you know who." Kakashi says when Jiji just stares at me.
"I'm sure he has a good reason-"
"That's bullshi-" Tenzo's hand covers my mouth before I can finish the word.
"Language, Kikuko," Jiji says, his voice firm. Tenzo pulls his hand away, and I can't stop myself.
"Your chakra feels weird, Jiji. And you're the one who taught me that word, it's your favorite. Down Tenzo-nii." Tenzo sighs, letting me down on the ground.
"What do you mean my chakra feels weird, Kikuko?" I feel myself relax as I climb up into Jiji's lap. I start pulling at his hat and he just sighs, handing it to me. "It's not like you to try to steal my hat, Kiku. That's your brother's job." His tone of voice changes ever so slightly, and I know I've found the culprit.
Especially because I want to kill everyone as soon as I hold it. I close my eyes and focus on the hat in my hands, ignoring the questioning looks of the three shinobi in the room.
"Ki-"
"Found it!" I open my eyes and drop my hand to the hidden seal. "Someone's been messing with Jiji! It's like the seal on Tenzo-nii!" The hat is immediately taken from my hands by Kakashi before my face is brought to Jiji's chest. He holds me closer to him as he leans back slightly in his chair, his shoulders almost turn to jelly.
"Jiji?" I pull my head up to see his eyes closed.
"He's going to be okay, Kiku," Tenzo soothes. "Don't tell anyone that this seal is like mine, okay?"
"But if there's a bad ma-"
"No, Kikuko."
"Okay, niisan."
"It's good of you to listen to your brothers, Kiku," Jiji finally says.
"Do you need medical assistance, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asks from beside us.
"That would probably be for the best." He sighs after a moment. "I'm getting too old for this bullshit." I see Tenzo's mouth open in shock and giggle as I hide my face in Jiji's shoulder.
"Told you it was his favorite word."
"Hush," Jiji pats the top of my head as I feel his chakra move over mine like Tenzo's had earlier, sending me into another fit of giggles. Soon the once quiet room is filled with bustling activity.
The elders make it to the office first. Because of course they did. All Jiji does is hold a hand up at their questions, telling them to wait for him to explain to all the council at once.
The medic makes their way into the room next. She tries to push me off of Jiji's lap, but he holds me there. He's eventually deemed well enough to not be taken to the hospital. His chakra has been drained by the seal, but he'll be okay soon. I ignore all the sounds after that, instead I just try to keep calm while listening to his heart beat.
"Thank you all for coming so soon," he says eventually. I pout and move to leave his lap, but he holds me closer to his chest. "It would seem that I have been under the influence of a genjutsu seal for an unknown amount of time." The room explodes. I feel myself flinch closer to him at the noise.
"How was the seal broken?" Danzo's voice eventually cuts over the rest. Of course he would ask that the slimy bast-
"Kiku-chan realized that something was wrong during our conversation earlier. Kakashi-kun was able to find the seal in my hat."
"I flooded it with chakra, and then it broke." Kakashi says, shrugging casually from his spot against the window. His face is buried in that book.
"You're not supposed to read naughty books in public niisan," I say helpfully. Kakashi moves his book just enough to give me a look with his visible eye before raising his book back up. "Meanie," I pout, turning to look at the rest of the room. It was filled with clan heads, the elders, and some members of the civilian council.
"How did you know something was wrong, Uzumaki-chan?" Fugaku asks.
"Jiji told me not to say bullshit," I shrug. There's a beat of silence. And then it's broken by Tsume's laughter.
"Oh that's rich, kid."
"Shouldn't Hokage-sama correct foul language?" Shibi Aburame asks, and I know that they don't fully believe the story. Oh well, you brought this on yourself Jiji. I put a wide smile on my face, mimicking Naruto's but knowing it looks nothing like it, as I start my innocent Uzumaki rant.
"Well, one, it's Jiji's favorite word, he taught it to me," I say as I hold up one finger. "Two, Jiji may be Hokage, but he's also a shinobi and shinobi cuss a lot," I hold up another finger. "And three, honestly, Jiji is a massive pervert. Do you really expect anything else?"
"Kiku!" He finally says but I shrug.
"You taught pervy sage."
"Pervy- you know what, I'm not even going to ask," Fugaku finally sighs. "Hokage-sama, do you know who did this?"
"No, I don't recognize the seal work," Jiji says as he goes back into supreme leader mode. "I might ask Jiraiya-
"Pervy sage-"
"If he can come and take a look at it soon."
"In the meantime I'll have the force start looking for suspects as well."
"Thank you-" Jiji starts to say, but I throw all caution to the wind.
"Ne, Fugakau-ojichan, wouldn't it make sense for more than just the Uchiha to be in the police force?"
"Lord Second-"
"It's good you're in charge but wouldn't having like some fuinjutsu masters and Inuzuka help a lot?"
"It would have to be approved by the council for us to take in different clans," Fugaku says, but his eyebrow twitches slightly.
"Ugh, more meetings," Tsume groans.
"Besides, there are no fuinjutsu masters that live in the village other than Hokage-sama," Fugaku finishes.
"Eh?" I'm actually surprised by this. "How was Konoha a sister village to Uzu without a fuinjutsu division?"
"Perhaps you can start one when you're older, Kiku-chan. You all are dismissed," Jiji says to the rest of the room's occupants. I feel Danzo's eyes on us for another minute before he and the elders eventually leave the room.
"I don't think she'll have time for that, Hokage-sama," Shikaku says as he stands beside Fugaku.
"Oh?" Jiji sounds interested. Oh no this can't be good. This can only mean a really annoying-
"I'd like to retire eventually, you know."
"No!" I yell, much to the amusement of those still in the room. "I'm only five you can't decide that now, 'ttbane!"
"It gives you a goal with your training," Tenzo tries to help from his spot beside Kakashi.
"No! That's too much work, it'll be such a drag!"
"Ah, you already sound like Shikaku. With a few years of shadowing I'm sure you'll be fine." Fugaku says, causing the adults around him to look at him in shock before actually laughing at his joke. He rolls his eyes at them before turning his attention back to me. "And you will be coming to dinner tomorrow night."
"But-"
"What kid turns down free food as much as you do?" Shikaku teases. I stick my tongue out at him before nodding at Fugaku.
"Okay, as long as it's not ramen." He pauses for a second before letting out an amused snort.
"Ah, I would like to discuss something with you if you have a moment, Fugaku," Jiji says. I roll my eyes at him before turning around and hugging him tight.
"I expect you to make time in your busy social life to come work on your fuinjutsu with me sometimes, Kiku-chan."
"I'll always have time for you, Jiji!" I smile up at him before hopping down from his lap and taking Shikaku's offered hand.
"C'mon, I can go for some Akimichi street food, how about you?"
"I won't turn down Akimichi food." Shikaku rolls his eyes before he picks me up.
"You're tiresome, you know that right?"
"Mmhmm. I'm some tired." Shikaku gives a pained sigh, not even acknowledging my amazing pun. So rude.
I did manage to get some more dango by pouting later on, so jokes on him.