Root has finally backed off since I got my team, but I just can't seem to shake off my insomnia. I don't know if it's because my body is just so used to staying up to keep watch for so long, or if there's something else that's wrong.
The nightmares don't help, either. I started having them the night I had my last vision of Uzushiogakure. They've been going on for over a month now, and the worst part is that I know that I'm dreaming in all of them.
Well, I think I'm dreaming. I'm aware that I'm supposed to be asleep during all of them, but they feel so real. They're unlike any nightmare I've had in either life. So I've resorted to just not sleeping. Definitely not the healthiest thing for me to do, but I'd rather be up working on seals rather than tossing and turning in bed.
Which is how I've ended up bent over the kitchen table working on a toned down version of mom's knockout seal. While mom's seal knocks out any human, it doesn't work on animals, well large animals. I learned that the hard way when we were on a survival training trip with sensei in the forest of death. I know this world is insane, but some animals should not be that big.
But that got me thinking. If I can make a stronger version of a knockout seal for those large animals, I could make a weaker version for smaller animals.
Specifically cats.
Well, specifically one cat. The new bane of my existence: Tora. We've apparently had the most luck with the Tora missions out of the new crop of genin, so naturally we've been put on Tora duty.
We've had the same mission almost fifteen times now. And as much as I hate it, I can't blame the cat. If I had to live with her owner, I'd run away as often as I could too.
"Kiku-chan?" Naruto's voice comes from the doorway of our room.
"Yeah, Naruto?" I ask, turning to look at him. There's bags under his eyes. He hasn't been sleeping either. "Why haven't you been sleeping?"
"I-" he looks down at the floor. "I'm sorry."
"What?"
"I'm sorry for being a jealous jerk," he says as he looks up at me. "I was the one who made you take the test early, even when you asked not to. If it wasn't for me you'd probably end up on a team with Shikamaru in a few months."
"Oh, Naru," I say as I walk over to him. I pull him into a hug, prompting him to wrap his arms around me in a death grip. "Thank you for apologizing. I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," he sniffles into my shoulder.
"And don't feel bad, I-" I pause as we pull away from our hug. "I really love my team. And I wouldn't end up on a team with Shika anyways."
"What? Why?"
"Shika is going to be on a team with Ino and Choji. You know their dads were all on a team together."
"Oh, yeah." Naruto says, scratching his cheek. "Well, are you going to bed?"
"Not yet, I'm working on a seal," I give him a sheepish grin, but he looks worried. "Oh, wait. Did you think- Did you think I'm not sleeping because of you?"
"Yeah, I mean, I always find you passed out on the kitchen table in the mornings."
"I haven't been sleeping too good lately, I get nightmares a lot," I tell him honestly. Instead of helping, I think it does more harm than good. Worry still fills his bright blue eyes. "It's not your fault though, 'ttbane! I just work on my seals until I get tired enough to sleep, I didn't wanna keep you up with the lights, ya know?" I see his shoulders drop a little.
"Okay," he lets out a small sigh. "But you're going to try to get some more sleep starting tonight! You're off doing ninja things with less sleep than me, and even I feel like I've gotta nap in class dattebayo!"
"Fine, fine you worrywart." I roll my eyes goodnaturedly before going back to the table. I pack up all my work and follow Naruto back through the door into our room. I drop my things on my fuinjutsu table before Naruto pulls me over to share his bed. He forces me under the covers and walks away.
"Don't even think about getting up, imouto!" He yells from the other side of the room.
"Hai, hai niisan," I say, relaxing back into his pillow. I hear his footsteps come closer before he lifts up the covers and soft fabric is pushed into my arms. It's a blue toad Jiraiya sent me as a gift for making my team. I smile and pull the stuffed toy closer to my chest, burying my face in it as Naruto hops up in bed beside me.
"Now sleep, Kiku-chan," he says before yawning. I smile at his actions and close my eyes. I still don't fall asleep for another three hours.
I woke up a few hours after falling asleep to rush to meet my team at the Hokage tower. After doing D-ranks throughout the morning, we've finally come back to our training ground. We spent the last thirty minutes warming up without knowing what we would be doing during training.
"Okay, Minoru and Kiku, you two go first. Taijutsu only," Sensei says, getting my attention.
It turns out we were sparring. My least favorite part of training. Mainly because the boys always go easy on me. When I spar with sensei, he doesn't hold back. But my teammates still see me as someone they need to protect rather than an equal.
Minoru and I stand a few feet away from each other. Sensei and Reiji stand off to the side. We both bow to each other and wait for sensei's call.
"Begin!"
Minoru runs at me head first as expected. I dodge the hit and thrust my hand out towards his stomach, but it never connects. Instead he manages to tilt his body so I miss him as he gets behind me. I feel a light hit on my back as I jump away.
"Quit running, Kiku," sensei says from the sidelines. I sigh and turn back towards Minoru. I run towards him and soon we're in a flurry of hits, kicks, and dodges.
But then the world becomes dizzy. Black spots begin to take over my vision and I blink hard trying to keep myself upright. The last thing I need is to pass out in practice. I focus on my breathing as I block another hit from Minoru. I finally manage a kick to his leg that brings him down. I shakily kneel down with one leg on his stomach.
"This match goes to Kiku-chan," sensei says from the side lines. I vaguely hear Reiji's voice and see the concerned look on Minoru's face as the ground comes closer to my face. I try to put my hands out to catch myself, but I never feel the impact.
An annoying beeping sound is what wakes me up. I blink my eyes slowly to adjust to the sunlight streaming into the dark green room.
Wait.
I was outside training with my team. I throw an arm over my eyes to block out the sun. Only for a hand to grab my arm and pull it away. I open my eyes fully this time to see sensei standing over me. I can't tell what he's feeling from the look on his face or his chakra. All I know is that I'm in trouble.
"Oops?" I say, trying to break the awkward silence.
"This is not an 'oops' situation, Kikuko," he sighs as he sits down on the bed by my legs.
"I'm fi-"
"According to Aki's estimates, you haven't had a decent night's sleep in at least a few months," he cuts me off. "And even worse you were bordering on chakra exhaustion."
"What? How could I have chakra exhaustion, I'm an Uzumaki!"
"That's what I would like to know."
"I don't know what could ha-," I pause mid sentence and sit up slowly. Sensei immediately reaches out to stop me from sitting up but I wave him off. I clumsily stumble my way into the bathroom with sensei right behind me.
"You've been out for three days, Kiku," sensei says as I start untying my headband. "I'm sure you don't need to look in a mirror this badly."
I look up in the mirror to see a purple diamond on the center of my forehead. Sensei's mouth falls open as he looks in the mirror. I feel a grin make its way to my face slowly when I'm quickly turned around to face him. He reaches around me, turning on the water and wetting his hand before wiping at my forehead.
"How-when-why-what the fuck Kiku-chan?" He stutters out as he reaches back around to cut off the water.
"Well, when you meditate-"
"Kikuko!" He says fiercely, bending down to look at me in my eyes. "Who taught you this?"
"Sandaime-Jiji, and technically Mito-baachan too cause' she wrote a bit about it in one of her journals."
"Please tell me you're not going to turn into Tsunade."
"I'm not, the seal I used is the one Uzumaki's would use. It's focused on being a pure chakra storage seal, not a medical one like Tsunade's."
"Thank Kami," he sighs, his shoulders relaxing.
"Besides, I win most of my bets, 'ttbane!" Sensei looks at me for a moment before letting out another suffering sigh. I bite my lip to not laugh at him, that's a straight ticket to training hell for the next week if I do. Sensei picks me up quickly, making me almost drop my headband as he carries me back into the clinic room I'd been in before.
"Sensei-"
"Hush," he says as he puts me back down on the bed. He covers me up with the thin hospital blanket before covering me up with a thicker one, a deer pelt blanket.
"Where did this come from?" I ask as sensei sits back down by my legs.
"Shikaku brought it by after he found out you were here."
"That means Yoshino knows," I groan, leaning my head back on my pillow. I feel my headband being pulled out of my hand and the quiet thunk as it hits a table somewhere beside us.
"Yoshino is the last person you should be worried about right now, Kiku." I look back at sensei, and now his worry is clear on his face. "In fact, you shouldn't be worried when you're hurt." I turn my attention back to the heavy blanket on top of me.
"How long have you had trouble sleeping, Kiku?" He asks.
"A few years," I mumble under my breath.
"And you haven't thought to bring it up to anyone? To ask for help?"
"I'm already a burden on the team-"
"Never say that again." Sensei cuts me off, his voice rough. "You contribute to this team just as much as the rest of us. Do not doubt your abilities, Kikuko."
"But-"
"No."
"I just-" I stop myself, shaking my head. I feel sensei's hand on my arm and look up at him.
"You don't know what to do," he says gently. I nod my head in agreement, too afraid to say anything. "So that's when you ask for help. From now on, if there's anything you don't know or there's something that's troubling you, you should go to someone and ask for help."
"Yes, sensei," I say quietly.
"And when I say to go to someone for help, go to someone in our team, Kikuko."
"Yes sensei." I feel the bed dip beside me before I feel warm arms wrap around me. I feel burning behind my eyes and reach up to rub at them, but another hand bats them away.
"It's okay to cry, Kikuko," sensei says into my hair.
"I've cried enough."
"You're an Uzumaki, you can never cry enough," he teases as he starts to run a hand through my hair.
"I'm sorry, sensei," I whisper into the room. Too afraid to hold onto him or look up at him. His arms tighten around me and I close my eyes, relishing in the warmth.
"Kiku, you're awake!" Minoru yells as the door to my room slams open. "Wait, why do you have a diamond on your forehead?"
"What diamond? And where?" Aki yells, I hear her footsteps coming from down the hall. I immediately shrink back into sensei, the boys come in and sit at the chairs beside my bed, trying to stay out of the warpath that Aki is about to forge. If there's one thing I've learned from living in this world, it's that if a Nara yells, you need to run.
"Hi?" I say as she stands in the doorway. Her mouth drops open as she stares at my forehead.
"Aki?" Yoshino's voice comes from down the hall.
"Oh no," I whisper to myself.
"No shit," sensei whispers to me.
"Aki, what's wrong?" Yoshino asks, her voice closer this time. I hear more footsteps, these ones are faster than the normal slow Nara pace.
"Kiku?" Naruto calls, I see a flash of yellow and black cut around Aki and into the room. Naruto and Shikamaru have snuck their way through, something that normally wouldn't happen with Aki in charge.
"Something must've happened," I hear Enusi's voice murmur. From the tired sigh that follows, I know Shikaku is here too.
"I'm fine," I say as I roll my eyes at the over the top reactions.
"You've been asleep for three days," Shikamaru deadpans.
"Which is why I'm fine!" I give him Gai sensei's typical thumbs up only to hear sensei's loud sigh behind me.
"Of course I'd get the one girl in the village with a crush on Gai," he mutters under his breath.
"I do not!" I shriek, turning around to look at him. I hear Minoru and Reiji try to smother their laughter as a weight crashes into me. I turn back to see Naruto, his head buried in my stomach. "I'm sorry, Naru." I start to run my hand through his hair as he struggles to control his breathing. "But I'm okay now, really!"
"An Uzumaki on the verge of chakra exhaustion is not okay, Kikuko!" Yoshino yells from outside of the room. "Now we're going to have a long talk about-" She stops talking when she finally makes her way around Aki, her eyes are trained only on my forehead.
"Your mother couldn't even do that!" Yoshino shrieks as she runs into the room, she walks around the side of the bed and immediately starts rubbing at the diamond on my forehead, trying to see if it'll come off.
"It explains the chakra exhaustion," sensei says.
"Uzumaki Kikuko, do you know how dangerous that was?"
"Dangerous?" Ensui asks from the doorway, I notice Aki has finally recovered as she's hovering over Yoshino. Yoshino moves her hand and points to the diamond. A wicked grin crosses his face as he turns to Shikaku. "I'll pay for dinner tomorrow."
"How much did Anbu have on this?" Shikaku asks after looking at my forehead for a moment. I turn my attention back to Naruto, he's finally calmed down and I notice his breathing is even. Had he slept at all since I passed out?
"You knew about this?" Aki's raised voice as she turns on Ensui pulls my attention back to the adults.
"Not for sure, but an Uzumaki staying quiet for an hour a day in the fuinjutsu room in the hokage tower is scary enough for Anbu to start their own rounds off duty." I bite my lip hard, forcing myself to contain my laughter. I'll have to spend even more time in the fuinjutsu room now.
"Hi Jiji!" I say as I skip into his office. The old man smiles around his pipe as the elders grumble from the side of the room.
"You missed my fuinjutsu time, Kiku-hime." I see Danzo struggle to maintain his snarl at the nickname. I can't help but smile a bit. I did like to mess with the old coots since I can't kill them all. Yet.
"Sorry, Jiji. I passed out during training and had to go to the clinic." Jiji's eyes turn hard. He waves his hand and all the paperwork ninja in the room immediately start to leave.
"You three may leave as well," Jiji says to the elders.
"Hiruzen-"
"No." Jiji's tone is final. It's his Hokage tone. "We will continue our meeting at a later time. I have gotten used to having a curious mind looking over my shoulder while working," he winks at me as he says this and I struggle to not burst out into laughter. Even with root watching me for so long, Danzo has no clue how far along I am with my fuinjutsu skills.
Jiji stands from his desk and walks around to stand beside me. He grabs my hand and starts to lead me out of the room and down the stairs.
"You are going to tell me why you passed out during training," he says as we enter the fuinjutsu room. I activate the silencing shields before going over to my regular spot. Jiji sits down beside me and starts to prepare his station.
"I haven't been sleeping enough," I say as I start to pull out my own supplies. "And Aki said that I was bordering on chakra exhaustion."
"What?" Jiji asks, turning to look at me.
"I'm fine," I roll my eyes and wait for him to relax. I wait for him to take in some of the smoke from his pipe before I continue. "My seal just came in, ya know?"
Jiji splutters, coughing as he looks at me in shock. I remove my headband as he catches his breath. He leans forward, touching the seal. I see a rare, large sunny smile, just like Naruto's cross his face.
"I should've known not to assume with an Uzumaki." I snort at his response before going back to my own seals.
"I modified mom's knockout seal by the way, I plan to use it on Tora next week!"
"Please don't let the other teams know," Jiji says quickly. "It's our best team bonding mission."
"That and the daimyo's wife could just ask me for some and not keep putting in mission requests," I grin at him.
"I'm too old for this," he sighs as he almost spills his ink.
"You and me both, Jiji. You and me both."