Chapter 10
September 27th, 2022, Cambridge, MA
"The Huntzberger table?" Rory asked, as she hesitantly entered the one restaurant she usually never went for lunch. For one it was roughly an 8- minute walk from her office and there were a handful of decent places closer by. And secondly - this place was kind of upscale. It wasn't that she couldn't afford to eat at a nice place - this was definitely in her range if she felt it fitted the occasion. But on most work days she simply brought her lunch from home. Camilla, the housekeeper, was quite an amazing chef and clever at making sure all three, formerly four, of them were well prepared for the day, often ending up with better meals - lunches and afternoon snacks - than most restaurants offered. And when she did eat out with her workmates they usually just went to grab a burger or sometimes even ate at the university cafeteria with the students when it served a mingling purpose.
Today was certainly different though and that in a number of ways. She'd made sure she had a whole hour for lunch by rearranging some of her obligations and for the first time ever she was actually nervous about going onto her lunch break. And the place - a New American-restaurant with definitely more of a lunch date or business meeting feel - certainly wasn't helping. But she really shouldn't have been this surprised - this was the Huntzberger way, wasn't it?
"Right this way," the maître d' led her towards a quieter corner, where Logan already sat.
Rory hadn't talked much with Logan since Saturday, they'd just agreed on the lunch and its location, and that he'd go watch Em's practice on Wednesday afternoon when Em would otherwise have just gone to the soccer practice with the nanny - sort of to show his presence even it that too didn't exactly involve a lot of actual engagement. But overall, the couple of days they'd had to simply adjust, reflect and let things settle a little, had, she believed, had been necessary, the last week having changed their lives around quite a bit already.
"Hey," Logan greeted her, standing politely up from his seat for a minute. The man always did have manners. He was dressed semi-casually - smart jeans, blazer and an olive turtleneck, possibly made of bamboo or some other light material like that, that sat quite tightly against his chest, the latter causing Rory to momentarily swallow. He was no doubt still as handsome as well, but the handsome part was not why she was here today, was she?
"Hey," Rory replied, and tried to carry on as casually as possible, extending him a little cheek kiss and half-hug. In part this was Gigi's influence, but it was more about allowing herself to express herself more - be more physical and overthink things less. The latter was not something she always succeeded with, but she could indeed agree that being a little bit more physical had opened her up quite a bit.
Logan still smelled nice too, different - possibly a new perfume - but it was definitely not unpleasant.
"You look good," Logan commented, and Rory wasn't really sure if that was a little borderline...something... or just polite - it could've been both. Her outfit was dull - dark jeans and a similar dark sweater - she honestly hadn't thought much about it this time, quite intentionally. But she had had her hair done just yesterday. While she hadn't done much about the length, her hair was freshly dyed in a shade of cinnamon, with a few strands of bright copper to make it look more alive, so it was kind of appreciated, but she certainly didn't want to be too flattered by his words.
"Thanks. So do you," Rory replied plainly.
But Logan picked up on her hesitance.
"It is okay that I said that just now, right? I'm not really used to seeing you, and it seems every time I do see you now you just show up looking more vibrant than the last time and… it just felt like something I should express. But if it's weird I won't do it again," Logan said apologetically.
"Um… I mean sure, it's nice. Just as...," Rory began to caution him not to get any ideas.
"It's innocent, I swear," Logan took a seat as did Rory, and he held up his palms as a sign of innocence. "You probably have a long line of guys queuing up to date you anyways, wouldn't want to get in the way of that, would I?" Logan found himself saying, his instincts getting the better of him. That phone call he'd in part overheard on the playground still haunted him - who was it that 'she loved'?
But Rory didn't give him the satisfaction of overviewing her lovelife to him. She wasn't a nun, but it certainly wasn't something to brag about either. Mostly she just believed he knew enough - there was no one queing up to being Em's step-dad and she was eager to keep some boundaries.
So as an evasive maneuver she simply rolled his eyes at him.
Logan had hurried things along, making sure their orders were taken first so they quickly went on with their orders not wanting to spend the entire time waiting for their meals, knowing Rory had to get back to work.
"So, where should we begin? Rory managed to ask before Logan had gotten a chance to ask more about her, her work situation being of interest to him more than he would've imagined.
"Wherever you want? Beginning I guess… but if some part is hard, feel free to skip," Logan said, cautiously.
Rory took a deep breath, as if bracing herself even though this part wasn't that painful… Still, since recalling that this was one of the major milestones Logan had missed and it had made her rather emotional the other day, it was definitely not the easiest thing to tell him about. "Well.. as I wrote in my e-mail… Emma was born July 1st…," Rory began to tell the story she had told surprisingly few times in her life, not going into the gory details.
July 1st, 2017, Boston
Ever since Rory's mother had broken her leg in yoga that one time, Rory would've never thought she'd find herself in a yoga class. Tap dance - sure, but yoga had always seemed like such a new age thing consisting of all kinds of mumbo-jumbo. It was safe to say the talk of chakras and breathing exercises had never appealed to her. But there she was at 8 AM in the morning, sitting with her back stretched as straight as she managed, a very large 40-week pregnant belly in front of her, feeling eager for the class to begin.
She wasn't sleeping terribly well these days, having to drag herself out of bed a number of times to pee during the night.
Thankfully, Camilla had her breakfast ready and waiting for her already early in the mornings and she didn't have to be disappointed by the green smoothie and chia-seed pudding she'd found in the fridge that Saturday morning either. She felt well looked after, and as long as she didn't cook the healty food, she was fine eating it.
The day was going to be hot, heatwave kind of hot, but the morning was still brisk and she'd slowly and steadily walked over to the Yoga studio a couple of blocks away.
A small gong indicated the start of the class, and Rory was hopeful that by the end of this her back and many of her muscles would feel a little better. It often helped, and strangely enough also seeing and hearing other women with similar aches and concerns after class, even if just briefly, helped her too - it made her feel a little less lonely considering she didn't have any other mothers close by if one didn't cound the occasional phone call to Paris or Lane.
It had been five weeks and three days since she'd spoken to her mother.
She was enjoying spending time with her sister though, more than she had ever before. And actually living with her was definitely filling in the blanks better than any family dinner in a formal setting would.
They started with a couple of simple breathing excersises in ankle-to-knee pose, which in her state was really more like ankle-to-calf - but close enough. The music in the background was soothing, perfect for a slow awakening on a Saturday morning.
Despite having been on edge for the past few weeks already, with her hospital bag packed and ready to go, this day actually looked like it was going to be a wonderful day. She felt energetic, despite the nighttime waking, and she and Gigi were going to go for a small stroll in the afternoon when it cooled down a little and maybe even for a soak in the pool of a nearby conference hotel, having discovered it to be not too crowded this time of year, or maybe watch a movie together later.
They continued to do some stretches - seated side bends, cat-cow poses and her favorite - wide-knee child's pose. She could stay in that for a while, feeling how just the right muscles were being streched. Clearly her body knew what it was doing, and it was in that pose that she suddenly felt something wet drizzling down her thigh.
"Oh, crap..," Rory muttered, thinking she'd wet herself. Being pregnant was no joke, even sneezing could make that happen if one wasn't paying attention. And that was with trying to do all the appropriate exercises.
She'd said it quietly enough as most of the other woman hadn't noticed anything being amiss. She was feeling embarrassed and made her way to the bathroom in the back - but considering she was rather big by that time and getting up was virtually impossible without a few moans and gasps, a few women did look up towards her.
"Your water broke or something?" one of the other ladies who was around her 30th week asked, causing half the class to turn their attention to Rory.
Rory shrugged and embarrassedly rushed for the bathroom.
She wasn't even sure which one she hoped this was - one was embarrassing and the other was actually a lot scarier than she'd thought until now.
Just as she pushed down her leggings another larger gush of liquid poured down her legs. The bathroom floor now had an actual puddle. Her hands were shaking, and she began to throw paper napkins down on the floor, worried about making a mess. Her back had had a dull ache all morning but it hadn't been terribly rhythmical so she really couldn't have been sure if it was anything more than this.
"Oh, great…," Rory mumbled to herself, rubbing over her bump, trying to a moment to calm herself and focus on the other important person involved in this - the little girl within her. She'd found out the gender just around 30 weeks, not earlier.
She tried to think quickly what she was supposed to check - the floor tiles were white and so her water water looked clear. She couldn't smell anything foul… also a good sign. But she also knew from prenatal class that technically she wasn't supposed to rush over to the hospital unless she was having contractions and so far she couldn't feel anything concrete.
What she lacked, however, was a pad, considering she was still drizzling liquid. It almost would've been easier had all of it come at once.
Suddenly she heard a knock.
"Hey, I have a maxi pad here that you can use, if you want?" the same woman, who'd noticed her before, asked, clearly feeling a little guilty for drawing attention to her before. She was a bubbly character, always very talkative and Rory had briefly chatted with her a few weeks ago even if she didn't remember her name.
"Um, yeah… that'd be good," Rory said, her voice all shaky. She unlocked the door of the single-stall bathroom and stuck her hand out.
"Don't you worry about the others… Two years ago with my second, my water broke right in the middle of Target's car supply aisle. Now that was embarrassing - you should've seen the looks on some of those guys," she described with an amused chuckle.
"Oh, and thanks," Rory added, having nearly forgotten the most basic expression of gratitude.
Her leggings were still soaked, so the pad would only really do so much.
"You live far?" the woman asked.
"15 minutes, but I walked," Rory replied.
"I'll walk with you if you want," she offered.
Honestly Rory couldn't think of anything else but that she wanted to go home quickly and change, but the thought of going into labor during those 15 minute, oblivious to how quickly something like that could actually happen in reality despite having read a lot, she was too scared to be stubborn right now.
"Could you?" Rory asked timidly as she emerged.
"Here," the woman offered her her sweatshirt, which she tied around her hips so the wet stains wouldn't be as visible. "I'm Angie by the way," she added.
"Thanks. Rory," she replied.
She didn't know it at the time, but that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship who soon became a part of her Sunday brunch routine. A local and otherwise a formerly very successful copywriter who'd decided to stay home with her kids for a while but who also had a love for food and the written word. During their walk back to Rory's fathers townhouse, that she still referred to as such, not so much 'home' yet, they'd covered a lot about Angie, while Rory was a little too preoccupied with her state, beginning to now also feel some pains which Angie figured to be small contractions. But Rory had definitely appreciated the distraction.
The woman also gave her concrete instructions on how long she could wait before going to the hospital, suggesting an app she liked, having even the best routes mapped out since she only lived like a block away, for which Rory was grateful for.
As Rory made it inside, and Gigi and her dad learned what had happened, it felt like there was panic all around there, while she mostly just stood still and just breathed. It was almost like an outer body experience - and considering how squeamish 'coming around the mountain' made her, it was perhaps for the best.
It took a few hours before her pains were anything worth actually making a fuss about, and while she mostly just breathed and focused on feeling her baby's movements to make sure she was still doing great in there, having already begun to develop and 'us against the world' attitude with her baby, while the others made sure they had everything ready to go and that she was comfortable.
At the hospital a private midwife waited for her already - she didn't know her very well but her father had wanted the best for her, so exclusivity was what his money could offer.
Rory had been very surprised how survivable the contractions had been until she was around 8 cm - more like pressure than overwhelming pain. She was lucky. And by then it had been too late to really give her anything for it. But she'd managed, even if she was in the room with just her sister, the 14-year-old showing a whole lot more moxie than she would've believed, having offered to stay herself, and the professionals.
She had gotten lucky - a birth that was almost exactly by the book with minimal tearing, and by 5.32 PM she had the warm lump of a baby on her chest, whimpering rather than screaming her head off.
"Hey, baby," Rory chimed gently as she'd first seen her. Seeing her took away so much hurt that she'd been through this past year. Her damaged and lonely heart filled with love in a way that made her feel like she was going to explode, and her eyes filled up with tears - the good kind.
"She does look like an Emma…," Gigi replied, being just as in awe of the little creature.
"I don't know. I mean… kind of… but…," Rory pondered. Suddenly the name she'd thought out for her almost didn't sound strong enough. Honestly, she nearly would've named her Emily, wanting her to carry on some of that spunk her grandmother had, but she really didn't want to make the rift between her mother and her any bigger. "Em maybe?" she discussed, being all sweaty and exhausted herself.
"Em…, yeah," Gigi reflected, "short, sweet but sharp," she added.
A row of visitors arrived on the second day when she was in the hospital, including her mother. But the visit had been short and just focused on the one reason - the fact that she'd just given birth and the arrival of the next Gilmore girl. They hadn't cut each other out of their lives but they had considerably distanced themselves and Rory could still read the hurt in Lorelai's eyes. But at least she knew that Lorelai was going to be there for Em no matter what, even if the distance wasn't going to make it too easy.
September 27th, Cambridge, MA
Rory had told Logan the story - it couldn't really be called a birth story since she'd skipped the embarrassing and the bloody details - but close enough. In the meanwhile they'd gotten their food too - a cauliflower caesar for Logan and roasted parsnip ravioli for Rory - and they'd eaten most of it as she'd told her story.
"So she was a due date baby, right on time - exactly the median height and weight of a baby girl at that age. She was super hungry at first so I ended up supplementing a little, but she eventually got the hang of things… as did my breasts," Rory explained, no longer being embarrassed to mention breasts or lactation, even in front of Logan.
"So physically everything was fine with her?" Logan said, focusing a little more on the girl than perhaps Rory did whenever she thought back to the birth. It wasn't that she was selfish, but for a woman giving birth is quite a lot about her wellbeing along with it. You know - the fears of tearing, achy nipples and the dreaded first nr 2 and so on.
"Yeah, she was perfect. She's been a very healthy child so far - I mean small sinus infections, the usual colds and stomach bugs just like any kid but nothing serious," Rory explained.
"Good," Logan sighed.
"Oh, she hasn't had the chicken pox yet so that's something we're kind of anticipating. Each years there's been someone at her school who's had them but she hasn't caught them yet," Rory replied
"So you want her to intentionally catch it?" Logan wasn't quite following. Sure he'd heard of such things, but he hadn't actually seriously considered it in such a personal capacity.
"Um.. well not really," Rory replied. "I mean I'd hate to have her feeling sick and there are possible complications, but Gigi had it when she was like 13 and it was way worse then. She was hospitalized even. Kids her age usually just itch for a week and then they're back to normal," Rory explained. "So we're sort of just hoping she'll get them the normal way and it'll pass easily," Rory explained.
"Okay," Logan nodded understandingly.
Rory paused for a moment, taking a sip of water. This eating, drinking and talking thing was quite hard. Briefly she glanced at her watch - a humble Olivia Burton with abstract florals - realizing she only really had another 15 minutes to get back.
"Hey, I got to ask - what happened between you and your mom?" Logan then asked, having noticed how briefly Rory had mentioned her presence at Em's birth.
"We, um…. We had a falling out, I suppose. She didn't approve of some of the choices I was making… the book didn't exactly help and then it all just came crashing down. She was throwing ultimatums around and.. I just… I did what I thought was best for me and my baby," Rory summed things up, clearly the topic being a little sore still.
"Tell me about the book - what happened there?" Logan inquired, his questions only having multiplied.
"That is a long story," Rory exhaled, adding - "I really should be getting back soon. Same time Thursday?" Rory said, and began to rise from her seat, and Logan wasn't sure if he had in fact just hit a nerve or just about the practicality of having to get back to work. But at least there was a 'Thursday' - they both knew this wasn't the end of it.