AN: Huge thanks for all of your reviews. In a life with a little too much uncertainty right now it is so good to know you are out there.

Chapter 12

September 29th, 2022, Cambridge, MA

"This is an interesting place," Logan commented, casually, after the initial greetings.

Rory had taken charge this time and told him to meet her at a burger place that really didn't quite live up to the standards of the former restaurant they'd had lunch at, at least no by its appearance. It was busy and therefore loud too.

"If by interesting you mean loud and kind of crappy looking then yes," Rory replied.

It was obviously a student oriented place - plastic chairs, no real decor other than a huge oversize Coca-cola billboard on one wall.

The two of them were standing in line to order from the counter - it was how this place worked. It certainly left Logan a little puzzled by why she'd chosen this place in particular. After all they weren't here just for the food but to talk as well.

"But trust me, the burgers are good," Rory commented, it being no mystery to her that she was pushing Logan a little out of his comfort zone. She'd done that before, it had just been more than a decade since the last time.

"I trust you," Logan nodded. Rory's choice of venue had never failed before. Fine - that one time in East London when she'd been trying to prove a point and they'd both ended up with stomach aches. But that had indeed been an exception.

"I was thinking we might just go eat at the Common - it's nice out today," Rory commented, referring to the park just by the campus. It was indeed surprisingly warm and sunny for the end of September.

"Sure, sounds good," Logan replied, still having to speak loudly over the kitchen sounds.

"Hey, what was that all about yesterday? Em was a little weird last night and Catalina was gone by the time I got home. You wanted to take her for ice cream…?" Rory specified, looking confused, having just gotten to experience a disappointed preschooler when she got home with few explanations.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I just… I said it without thinking things through and I didn't want to bother you at work. And I get it - Catalina just didn't want to take the blame if she wasn't supposed to let me take her so I just..," Logan sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

"So this was just about ice cream?" Rory asked.

"Yes," Logan replied. "I feel like I let her down," he added.

Rory chuckled. It was cute how worried Logan looked about something like this. He really was taking this seriously, wasn't he?

"She won't recall this in a few days, you know. Things come up, she needs to accept 'no'-s and changes of plans. Doesn't matter if it comes from you or me," Rory explained.

"Right," Logan sighed with relief.

"You can take her, you know…. To ice cream or something," Rory suggested.

"Good to know," Logan replied, feeling relieved that things like that didn't seem to be an issue.

"I'll make sure Catalina knows and just text me what you're up to or when she'll be back so I don't worry about her whereabouts," Rory instructed.

"Good! I will, I promise," Logan said.

It was their turn to place their orders next, and they took some slightly fancier burgers each along with some fries, slaw and drinks. While they waited, Rory ran into some colleague and exchanged a few words. And since they were close to the kitchen which was rather loud, they didn't really speak much about anything significant. But thankfully they were soon on their way.

"You know, I'm about to sign a lease on an apartment. I just wanted to check with you about where her school is? Or what plans do you have for elementary school, so it's not completely in the wrong place," Logan shared. He wasn't sure why he felt like he was hoping for her approval - some praise that he was indeed doing the right thing or for her to just notice it.

"That's great!" Rory reacted excitedly. "Where are you thinking?" she asked, not getting right onto answering the questions he had had.

"It's not far from you actually - corner of Derne and Hancock?" Logan replied.

"Oh, that's quite close, yeah. Good. That's a new build? Or renovation or something right?" Rory inquired casually as they walked, Rory setting the direction and pace.

"Yeah, pretty recent," Logan confirmed.

"The preschool - they have the grade K there too, is just a few blocks from you - on Joy," Rory said, not wanting him to think she was dismissing his question.

"Good," Logan nodded approvingly. He made it a point to look up the school, remembering just seeing some playground there that he'd passed.

"And when it comes to elementary schools, I am honestly a little undecided what would be best. I have her on the waitlist for Park Street School, but I want to take some time to look into them a little more, you know compare and contrast," Rory explained.

"Right," Logan noted, already imagining Rory with her spreadsheets with pro-con lists.

"Most of the schools are having open doors in the next few months, and I guess you could even come along and see for yourself. I mean, you should probably have a say," Rory added, remaining somewhat hesitant. Surprisingly, sharing her time with Logan came a lot more easily than giving up control of the decisions - this seemed to be one of their first milestones in that. But she realized it was the right thing to do to offer.

"I'd love to, if that's okay with you," Logan replied, sensing her hesitance.

"It's just new… this...sharing control," Rory replied just as they reached the park.

"You're the one with all the control, Rory…," Logan said, a small hint of reluctance in his tone as well. It was the reality of the situation, and ever since last evening when he'd actually felt that he'd struggle to answer the question who he was to Em, legally, if anyone were to ask, he'd definitely been thinking about how to change that, even if enforcing anything on Rory wasn't in his plans. Be still believed in good, he still believed Rory and him could do this with understanding, compassion and rationality.

Rory realized that there might come a time when they'd need to do something about that, legally, but honestly that part she was truly scared about. It was a sharp contrast, one she wasn't just used to yet. Logan had been in their lives just a week and a half, after all. She just hoped Logan wouldn't ask for it too soon, and she wasn't quite ready to talk about it.

"Either way, you are allowed to have an opinion," Rory said, but wanting to dismiss the topic, she found a suitable bench, opened up her food and took a big bite.

"So where were we? I asked about schools. Living situation will be sorted shortly, it's just waiting for my signature," Logan pondered, having picked the place he liked most because it already had a little girl's room readily decorated there. "Oh, and we agreed that taking her to small spontaneous outings was fine as long as you know about them and we have not agreed otherwise," Logan reflected.

"I believe we covered her birth," Rory said, not wanting to intentionally remind him of the more sensitive subjects.

"Oh, yeah. Catalina mentioned that she started with you when Em was around a year old. So I gather you stayed home?" Logan said, realizing that sore subjects would probably not be the easiest things to start with.

"Well, yeah… I had no concrete place to really hurry back to. And spending time with her was great.. Exhausting too, but really-really great. And I did as I promised - I took care of myself. And those two happened to coincide time wise, I guess," Rory explained.

February 28th, 2017, London / Hartford

"Happy birthday," Rory said to Logan, struggling to get the conversation going, speaking to him over video chat. It was always so much harder like this - but presently this was what they had with her in her grandfather's study in Hartford and he in his office in London, late after work.

"Thanks. Are you doing okay?" Logan asked, not directly wanting to say out loud that he was asking also about the baby.

"The baby's fine. Everything looks normal. All the tests have been fine," Rory replied, intentionally not saying much about her own well being.

"And you?" Logan asked. The last time they'd spoken Rory hadn't been doing too great, he could tell. She'd been worrying a lot, and that kind of stress couldn't be good for her. She was still upset about her career not working out as it should too and he knew that Rory tended to be her own worst enemy a lot of the time.

"Oh, well…," Rory began and Logan could already tell from her tone that she was about to go down a lane of self-criticism. Again. "Been better, I guess. I've been helping mom out at reception a little, writing the book when I can and then there have been a few pieces for the Courant," Rory listed, again identifying her worth mostly through her work.

"Did you find someone to talk to?" Logan asked, knowing well how bringing this up might backfire. He'd briefly suggested last time they spoke, about a month ago, how this whole thing couldn't have been easy on her and maybe she should consider talking to someone, and how it had helped Honor a while back, trying to put it delicately.

"I'm not exactly in the financial position to do that right now," Rory replied, feeling very much like she had no good options. She wasn't broke-broke - she had a roof over her head at the Gilmore mansion in Hartford and she was using her grandfather's old car, including their gas card. She had insurance through the Dragonfly and didn't really need to worry about any of the essentials. All of her money went to saving up for the baby. But when she thought about the cost of diapers and the cost of an hour in therapy, which she really didn't have very positive feedback on through Lorelai, it seemed like an easy, practical, decision to choose the former.

"Rory…," Logan groaned quietly, wanting to just somehow make her see how she had all those options right at her grasp if she just swallowed her pride and asked.

"I am just not sure what a therapist can actually do when she won't be able to change my circumstances," Rory defended herself. A therapist wasn't going to undo what she had done - how she'd handled her relationships, how she wasn't cut out for the work she did, how nothing had turned out as she'd imagined - and she was pregnant and felt alone. Talking wasn't going to fix those things.

"Okay, look… I didn't want to do this, I don't want to do any of it and you know it…," Logan began to explain to Rory how he'd been thinking about the baby being indeed better off with her, including all of his reasons. "But I am setting some conditions on it," Logan said.

"A NDA, I presume?" Rory asked, feeling already so much more relieved.

"That too, yes," Logan said and inhaled sharply.

"But I need you to promise me that if you won't take my money then you will go and ask for someone's help beyond your mother's. And I mean that both financially, as there's a lot of money that goes into raising a child and I don't want them lacking anything because you won't allow me to contribute. I mean that mentally and physically too - obviously I want you and the baby well looked after medically, but this also means that I want you to take the necessary resources and use them - ask your dad, your grandmother…. Or me - the offer still stands, and go talk to someone. And stick to it. I need to have assurance that you'll deal with problems head on, not wallow in your own self pity indefinitely. And I know that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to be, but I need you to show me you're serious about working on yourself. Just start to resolve all the things that have been weighing on you… the anxiety, grief… whatever label you put on it. Just, please, Rory… please go see someone. And if you promise me you'll do that, I will promise I will sign all the papers and protect you and the baby from all that comes with me. Please, Rory!" Logan lectured, speaking pleadingly and with desperation in his tone. He hated putting conditions on this in the first place, but this was indeed his assurance too that Rory would be mentally well enough to handle this, not break down, leaving the baby to be brought up by Lorelai. He wasn't giving up the baby for that to happen, he was doing this for Rory - to give her the feeling of security and a chance to devote herself to raising this child for him.

Rory was quiet on the other side of the ocean.

"Both your grandmother and father have offered before. All you have to do is ask..," Logan emphasized.

"Okay," Rory said, barely moving her lips, reluctantly. They had offered, but Rory had too much pride.

"You promise?" Logan asked, needing further assurance.

"Yes, I will. I hate it... But okay. I will. I'll send you a doctor's note as confirmation," Rory assured, ridiculing the condition a little by her last suggestion. She had indeed looked into costs of childcare, which had left her feeling utterly defeated.

"You don't need to do that, I'll trust your word. But just know that I mean it. I want you to be healthy and happy, okay?" Logan added, having not spoken this much from his heart in a while, fighting the tears forming in his throat as he did.

Rory swallowed her emotions too - among them embarrassment that he was the one telling hre this - but also feeling indeed his trust and… love, even if the love was not quite the same as they'd once admitted to feeling towards each-other.

September 29th, 2022, Cambridge, MA

"So why did you decide to stay home? You know, I kind of worried you might not want to or… be able to?" Logan discussed, pausing his eating as they sat in the park.

"In part it was my therapist's suggestion," Rory confessed, causing Logan to feel intense relief. "You know, to not rush through life if I didn't have to… Be present," she explained.

"Okay. So you got help - that's good," Logan reflected, focusing on the important part.

"I promised you that I would," Rory replied, even if she didn't enjoy discussing it, and continued, "And because I had gone to my dad instead of my grandmother for money, things with her and my mother being so-and-so... I found myself indeed in a situation where I didn't need to worry about money as much. It was a blow of my pride, for sure... It took some serious getting used to, but my dad really made it pretty easy for me. I didn't have to ask for money but he just gave me access to the money he was always going to have me inherit. Or so he assured me. But it felt a lot less degrading that way. And it's kind of also the reason why I live with them. I don't want to spend unnecessarily and I want to help - before with Gigi or just being there for my dad, just like he helped me. There's all that extra space, especially now that Lana and him broke up," including a lot of new information.

"Lana? She was with your dad at the time?" Logan asked, having briefly heard of her before but didn't really know much.

"She… I don't even know. They'd been together for years... I mean they were both traveling quite a lot during that time too, but I guess she wasn't as keen on me and the baby living with them. So it might have contributed, or maybe it was just the last straw. Anyway - my dad sided with me, that I was staying and that was that," Rory discussed. It had been meaningful for Christopher too, allowing him to undo some of his past mistakes.

"And I know it's kind of embarrassing to be in my late 30s and living with my dad… but I see it as a mutual benefit at this point. He has our company, something he has never fully had, even with Gigi - she was in France for large chunks of her life, and we feel like we have this safety net by him, and I feel like I'm not being ungrateful for the money by spending it unnecessarily - at least I try. I even take the train here on most days… I'd probably still be driving grandpa's car if it hadn't broken down last year and dad hadn't bought me the Toyota," Rory explained, rambling a little.

This certainly explained a lot to Logan.

"I think I get it… the house and the people, I guess it gives that sense of family. I'm glad Em has that," Logan replied appreciatively.

"And that first year, home with Em, was kind of eye-opening. It allowed me time to observe, think… Read for fun since forever... I have never really had that before. It's always been this big rush to get through high school and college and all that travelling which while fun was also pretty stressful… just step out of this constant need to be better, bigger…," Rory continued, speaking with her hands. "I had my therapy appointments, I continued going to yoga sometimes… We strolled out babies around town with Angie and talked about life...," Rory explained. "And I also met…," Rory began to add, but came to a half, hesitating, so far everything else having just poured out of her. Initialy she'd been worried telling Logan all of this was humiliating, but it hadn't been. This thing, however, she was pretty sure he was going to laught about...roll his eyes at - at the very least.

"Met who? Some guy?" Logan inquired, urgently.

"Yeah, a guy, I guess. But it's not what you think…," Rory said.

"Than what?" Logan asked again, dying of curiosity.

"Otis... well he's...," Rory began, picking her words carefully. "He's a friend by now, by now he's not just doing this as a job. But I guess you could say he's a... life coach," Rory added, wrinkling her eyebrow as if expecting a burst of laughter from Logan.

AN: If you want images of Logan's place (interior with some alterations in my mind but close enough) then check out 32 Derne St, apt 6B, it's up on zillow right now.