AN: thanks for your kind reviews and insightful thoughts.

Answers to some of them:

Mimi1028 - Sorry, if you think it's not convincing enough. I do think for Rory Logan would do a lot of things and sure, it took painting his family in rather dark colors right now but I like to believe it's believable. Just try to imagine what the press would say had they found out he'd gotten Rory pregnant and how that girl might have been a spectacle for the press since day one, or Shira just making snarky remarks all the time (like Straub used to treat Rory) - how the girl ruined Logan's life or something.

Guest - I think Rory was depressed and dealing with anxieties, but she was the functional kind (So am I, so I kind of relate). For Rory there were self esteem issues, abandonment issues. And Logan knew she had family around. He also believed Lorelai would be very close even if he isn't her biggest fan. By the end (before signing the papers) I think he also believed that his presence and the uncertainty with the baby (risk about someone finding out or someone from Logan's family filing for full custody) was a major contributor to her anxieties for example.

Chapter 17

October 8th, 2022

Rory was getting ready in front of her bedroom mirror, being just in the process of applying some light finishing powder onto her skin as finishing touches. Her makeup was a lot braver than she would've worn on a regular work day or even to a date - dark blue smokey eye makeup and luscious lashes. She'd kept her lips fairly natural with some matte lip ink.

Learning to experiment and not be afraid of spicing up her makeup according to how she felt was one of the things she'd learned over the years. She'd actually taken a few classes and watched numerous tutorials to get to this point. She no longer felt like removing the makeup she'd worked on for 45 minutes five minutes before leaving, feeling it was too much. She felt more confident in her body and that only reinforced how good she felt. She loved how the blue resonated with the kimono-sleeve satin dress that highlighted her long legs and hips, while giving her upper body some volume for balance. That she'd learned when her paternal grandmother had gifted her a gift card she apparently found no use for to Saks - a stylist consultation and shopping money. Rory could imagine there was some insult hidden away in that gift, but she was beyond that and had used it to test out some new things which in the end had certainly made her more confident while staying clear of the business-suit section that Francine had probably been hinting at, having concrete ideas how a mother should dress. Francine was a lot like the earlier Emily, while Emily herself had mellowed out considerably in Nantucket.

Wanting to be ready for a night of fun and not pain, Rory had opted for a pair of not-too-robust compat boots, however, not quite feeling like watching her every step on some sexy pair of heels. She did look hot - but she looked hot for herself, not aiming to woo anyone today, and that included Logan.

Much like they'd talked last weekend - she was a firm believer in needing to maintain a friendship with Logan, and she was fully aware that that would take a great deal of determination. She knew how easy it was physically, even if it was just the casual flirt, to slip into something with him - that tone of his voice when the wanted to be persuasive, his smirk - god, that ridiculously attractive smirk, he never seemed to dress badly and she did wonder how he stayed in shape that well as through several years of seeing him on and off, she'd never once seen him work out. He was still smart, witty and intelligent. But then again Rory knew that stability for Em took priority.

Rory had in no way been a nun all these years. She had apps, she sometimes met people through work and Angie was an incredible source of acquaintances - many of the men she'd dated, or dated - she'd met through her. But so far she believed she didn't really require a man by her side, actually sensing how her father was being a pretty decent role model for Em and she herself found the cure for her own loneliness, sometimes late at night alone in bed, from books and a trusted vibrator in her nightstand drawer. Like both her therapist and Otis, her life coach, had told her, and she by now believed in it too - she didn't need a man to complete her or to make her happy. She needed to create her own happiness and then when it was the right time and she felt ready it would be the time to let someone in. She wanted to believe she'd know the time when that moment came. And having already Em, that had surprisingly taken off a lot of pressure for her to settle down - she didn't have to race with time.

"Hey, Rory! Angie's here!" Christopher called upstairs from the foyer.

"Just a second," Rory replied, and attached a pair of delicate dangle pearl earrings that completed her look. She'd mastered dressing up in a way that looked hot, but not so it screamed wealth. She was wealthy now, little by little the realization was setting in and besides living a fairly normal life where she still worked and took the train - it were the little treats she gave herself and Em, and knowing she didn't need to worry about that kind of things until the end of her days, that made all the difference, lifting an imaginary heavy weight from her shoulders. She no longer needed to measure her success in the money she made.

She made her way downstairs, grabbed her coat, and kissed Angie on the cheek in greeting.

"Looking good, girl!" Angie commented, approvingly. "And happy birthday!"

"Aw.. thank you," Rory replied.

"Have fun you guys," Christopher added.

"Em, I'm leaving - if you want your hug you better come and get it!" Rory called out unsure in which room the girl currently was. It was a big place, and beyond Em's own room she also had numerous toys in the den and in the library. Rory knew that it wasn't the grandiose of the place they called home that mattered in the end, but this place was full of love for the kid and this space did give her a lot of room to play - also speaking figuratively as the old library did kind of have that whole Narnia look, and without having to fight over what to watch from TV there were several more options on a daily basis for her entertainment.

The girl came rushing down from the den this time.

"You look pretty, mommy!" Em commented, and hugged her as Rory crouched down and gave her a little kiss.

"Thanks, sweetie! You be good to grandpa, okay?" Rory said.

Em nodded, looking up to Christopher for a moment.

"We'll be just fine…," Christopher assured.

And Rory believed they would be - it was not as if it was the first time. And while all these years there had been this constant nagging feeling in the back of her head how Christopher hadn't been there for her growing up, how he'd failed her and her mother time and time again, she'd almost felt like he'd abandoned her and not wanted her, these past years had proved indeed that Christopher had grown a lot too. Except for sometimes being away on business, but that was understandable, he'd always been there for them now - from decorating their bedrooms so they'd have a real place to come home to, to setting up Rory financially, helping out with picking a nanny and taking over a generous amount of night-time feedings when Rory had been too exhausted in the early months or just sat with the girl when she'd been sick. As a result Rory's relationship with the man was better than it had ever been.

Angie, dressed in a light blue velvet mini dress that went great with her over-the-knee suede boots, and Rory stepped out of the townhouse and made their way on foot down the brick-paved side-walk. It was just a 10 minute walk and leaving their cars home meant they didn't need to watch their drinking so carefully.

Angie recapped her week in those brief few minutes which Rory was actually genuinely interested in hearing about. But it was not something they needed to keep at the entire walk - they were both very low maintenance as friends in that sense, knowing that both had a lot going on, too much to feel guilty about not seeing each-other face-to-face every single week for example.

"So?" Angie inquired, as they made a right on Walnut Street.

"So, what?" Rory asked, for a second having drifted into her own thoughts.

"How was the outing with the baby daddy?" Angie inquired, Rory having recapped her in short, so far without last names, how Logan had reappeared into their lives and she was taking him to the farm with Em last weekend.

"It was good… he's easy like that," Rory commented. Logan was exceptionally easy to be around. And unlike in most situations that she'd heard of when the dad had been AWOL - she really didn't need to worry about substance abuse problems, violence or about him being not dependable. "You're actually seeing him tonight," Rory revealed.

"You invited him? Ooo… this is getting good," Angie exclaimed.

"Not like that...," Rory scolded her with her look. "He's just in a new city, doesn't know anyone. I felt bad for him. If I want him sticking around for Em I need to do what I can to make him feel welcome," Rory added.

"Uh-uh, if that's what you need to tell yourself," Angie teased her.

"Seriously. I don't want any hints or jokes about that tonight," Rory reprimanded her friend.

"Alright, cross my heart and hope to die," Angie said, jokingly, adding a theatrical hand gesture. "But what's he like? I feel like this is something I should've already heard all the scoop on five years ago. You've got some serious making up to do here," Angie inquired, having by now learned the reason she hadn't heard anything until recently.

"In the next five minutes?" Rory raised her eyebrows.

"Well just give me the headlines right now," Angie hurried her up.

"Well… big shot ex-CEO, from a very well-known family, recently widowed," Rory said.

"Ooh… widowed is way better than divorced," Angie commented, almost sounding happy about it - clearly not seriously, but still.

"Not for those involved. I think he'd disagree," Rory replied.

"Of course not, but you know what I mean," Angie said and Rory indeed got her meaning. Whatever went on in their friendship or Em's relationship with Logan, there was no one else they needed to take into consideration and that was a good thing.

"Well he's very charming as I am sure you'll soon see. Intelligent, well-read… but not too dry, you know, What else?" Rory began to list.

"I bet he's handsome too, am I right?" Angie inquired, excitedly. Angie was very happily married, though she did like to live vicariously through Rory sometimes.

"That's besides the point," Rory argued.

"He is, I know he is - you wouldn't be avoiding the question otherwise," Angie replied, shaking her head at her avoidant response.

"Angie!" Rory scolded her friend again.

"But he's good with Em, right?" Angie settled down, focusing on what Rory indeed considered the most important.

"Well, it's early… he's been to her practices and took her for a meal, but they really haven't had much one-on-one time. It really comes down to when there's something more critical, something inconvenient or… I don't know… the persistence of it, you know? I honestly, I just don't dare to get my hopes up and all I try to focus on right now is that Em won't get hurt in the process," Rory explained, realistically and trying to keep her expectations low.

"Has he let you down before? I mean do you have reason to believe he might just up and… I don't know - leave?" Angie discussed.

That really was the big question, wasn't it. The fact he'd gotten a place, even if it was a rental, was good - but for someone for Logan a place of residence hardly held the same significane it would've for the next person.

"Not directly, I guess. I've been able to trust his word before - I mean even signing Em over to me five years ago. He could've fought me over it, but he didn't," Rory discussed. "But I guess, there have also been times when he's thrown me some curve balls, let me believe we saw things the same way but really that wasn't necessarily the case," Rory explained, showing some hesitance.

"Like what?" Angie inquired.

Rory inhaled deeply. "Like when back when I was graduating Yale, he talked about how he didn't know what he wanted to do and how he would factor me in and just let me do whatever after I graduated, while sticking by my side. And then he just figured things out for himself before I did and proposed to me," Rory began to explain, but Angie cut her off, coming to a halt, seeing already that they were approaching the bar.

"Wait - he proposed!?" Angie exclaimed, her eyes wide.

"Yes," Rory sighed. "The gesture was so sweet, the moment… and the conditions…. So not. I was just 22! I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. The huge constant our relationship was to me just got taken away like that,"she explained, snapping her fingers. "I loved him and I didn't have a doubt in my mind he loved me too… but that's just… I am not sure how he could've loved me so conditionally. He wanted me to move to San Francisco with him and he had all those plans while all I wanted was to travel and work and find out who I was before I tied myself down to be defined as his wife…," Rory exclaimed, really having not planned on unloading all of this minutes before stepping into her birthday party.

"Oh, wow..," Angie explained.

Rory took a deep breath. "But that was… that was like fifteen years ago. This is not where we're at. It was not where we were five years ago either. Five years ago he was about to marry someone else and I just… had fun, reckless, irresponsible fun…," Rory confessed. She was so not proud of these things. She'd knowingly not wanted to know the details of Logan's relationship, and that had led to feeling an immense sense of guilt through all these years. The therapist had assured her that no affair was ever just about one side, and she did believe that. But she'd just been devastated by the ease with which she'd gone along with all of it. This was her character trait it seemed, and not something she was proud of.

"Hey, we've all done stupid things. Just focus on the present now. I get that having him back in your life is bringing back a lot and while I will gladly be the person you unload all this on, right now we're moments away from setting foot into the birthday extravaganza we've set up for you and I really don't want you ruining your makeup, okay?" Angie assured me, holding her by her shoulders, giving her a pep-talk.

It went without saying that Rory would probably use a talk with her therapist, even if it had been years since she'd last needed it, and with Otis about all of this - as Logan's presence in her life, in whatever, form - was bringing back a lot of old emotions, not all of them the good kind. There was not only friendship to rebuild, but trust to solidify.