Start Date: August 26, 2022
Windwillow
Final Fantasy VII
Barret's argument with Shinra had been revealed: they'd torched his town and murdered everyone in it. In an apparent effort to avoid answering any more questions he had boarded a gondola heading to the amusement park, the Gold Saucer, which was suspended high above the ruins of the original Corel. What they'd find there would settle some questions and begin a new chapter of their story, in addition to meeting a certain fortune telling quack of a cat.
Chapter Twenty-Six: The Incident at the Gold Saucer
Scene One
The inside of the gondola was nondescript: a few seats in the dank hole of a chunk of steel. The smell of iron permeated the area, a stench that fouled the nostrils of everyone in the party. Not even a conductor was present, just several stumps to sit on and a large window projecting out towards the desert. As the party settled in, ignoring the foul odor, Barret plopped himself down in the furthest corner of the gondola. Everyone else took up their own chosen position and prepared for the ride to begin.
"Eww... It reeks in here!" Yuffie pouted as she folded her arms. Taking in a deep sniff, one she regretted, she nearly gagged at the smell. It was a feeling distinctly unlike her seasickness, one she considered even worse. "This place better deliver or I'm gonna wreak some havoc!" she snarled. Rubbing her palms together, however, her mood quickly lightened. "But, hey... gotta be a few pockets to-"
"And that's enough of that!" growled Tifa as she smacked Yuffie in the head, sending her face first into the metal floor. While Yuffie recovered and wiped her bloody nose, she met Tifa's glare once again. "How many times do I have to-"
"Hey! Hey!" Yuffie snarled as she staggered to her feet, stomping her foot like a petulant adolescent. "I saved your boyfriend, remember?! Should I have left him big hunk of rock or what?! And stop doing that, you little-"
"How long are you going to bring that up?!" Tifa spat back, folding her arms over her chest. "I forgave you for that, but everything afterwards is fair game! I'm not going to tolerate you pilfering from every person you come across..."
"Again, lady, I'm a thief!" Yuffie shouted as she flailed her arms. She paused and gathered herself. "Uh... a proud kunoichi, I mean..." she muttered, quickly catching her error. She wanted to be known as something other than a petty thief, even if that was pretty much what she was. "You get what you pay for! And if you keep hitting me, I'm gonna put my foot right up your pretty little-"
"Just leave it be, guys..." Aerith stated flatly as she shot glares at both women, who seemed to snap out of their trances. With an embarrassing groan, they both waved their hands and sat back down. Aerith sighed and held her head, shaking off her own irritation. "Let's think positive! We're going to an amusement park, right? We're gonna have some fun! Why do we need to fight each other?"
"Ooh, I forgot!" Yuffie tittered as she clapped her hands together cheerfully. "I wanna see the chocobo racers! And do you think they have rides?! Maybe a Blackjack table?! Hell yeah! I can't wait!" she rubbed her hands together, noting not to add in her intent to cheat at whatever she went to and thus avoiding Tifa's wrath.
"I know, right?!" cheered Aerith as she crossed her arms and shivered. There were quite a few places she wanted to go, too. Maybe a moonlight ride over the park with... Nah. That would be too much. "You know... I never really got to have much fun in Midgar. Even the playground was sort of... y'know... dirty..." she said plainly.
"Sucks to be you!" Yuffie laughed as she puffed out her chest. "I'll have you know Wutai had some killer hot springs! Never had to worry about a cold shower, not once, nuh-uh! But what I want," she giggled as she rubbed her hands together, "is some good old fashioned gambling!"
Holding back a chuckle, Aerith soon lost it and began to laugh. "Well what I want is some good old fashioned gaming! Y'know, party games, shooting galleries... I've always wanted to try riding a motorcycle like Cloud did back in Midgar! Maybe they'll have a pink helmet for me?"
Yuffie and Aerith went back and forth and threw out joyful expectations, becoming more and more excited by each suggestion. Cloud leaned back in amusement and watched the show. During the back and forth, Tifa turned to Barret with a warm smile but was met with a grumpy grunt and a snort. With a shrug, she turned back to watch Aerith and Yuffie banter. Red XIII, however, approached Barret cautiously with a more serious intent.
"Barret? I'd like to ask a few questions," Red XIII said with a grimace on his face. Barret simply stared back with disinterest, but made no effort to rebuff him. "I know this is something I'm not versed in, but I remember hearing that you had a daughter, right? So, if Shinra killed everyone, what about-"
"Oh. My. Gawd!"
Yuffie's call silenced Red XIII, who turned to the young ninja with a startled gasp. Barret closed his eyes, relieved to have the conversation over, as Yuffie motioned for Red XIII to join her by the window. He did, looked out over the desert, and his jaw dropped almost to the floor upon seeing the Gold Saucer come into view.
To the untrained eye it resembled a huge, mutated golden mushroom. Several different tiers floated above the desert, the sounds of celebration breaking the silence in the dirty gondola. Lights and fireworks lit up the entire structure, brilliant cries of joy emitting from every corner of the Gold Saucer. All along the side of one of the tiers was a bizarre, starry line of planets and lights that danced as the chocobos racing on it evoked ever greater cries from the crowd within. It seemed like the heavens themselves became a track, a stream of stars and even a full forest jutting out from the mushroom in a wide and curving path that carried the yellow birds through the skies.
This, this was the Gold Saucer, a place of joy and happiness in the middle of a lifeless and barren stretch of desert. From high above, however, one couldn't see the smattering of ruins beneath it. Those small houses and destroyed vehicles marked the darker side of the Gold Saucer, a remnant of Shinra's malice and the final destination for troublemakers. It would be a place unremarkable to the people above, oblivious to the misery at the bottom of the mushroom in the place they once called Corel.
Scene Two
During the long ride up to the Gold Saucer, Barret had said nothing. That never changed, even as his friends went back and forth, exciting themselves ever more until at last the gondola passed through a gate that was shaped like the mouth of a bizarre, legendary creature known as a moogle. Just past the maw-shaped gate was a large open area, with an entrance guarded by a pleasant looking young woman with a ribbon in a red and gold uniform. Upon departing the gondola, the party approached with Cloud in front.
"Welcome to the Gold Saucer!" trilled the attendant as she bowed deeply, her ribbon draping down past her chin. "Prepare for an unmatched experience of joy and adventure! All transactions will be in what we call Gold Points, or GP. They're only redeemable inside the Gold Saucer, and cannot be taken outside of it. We have a rate of one GP per one hundred Gil as an exchange, available from all vendors inside the park."
"Uh... okay..." Cloud muttered. It was all a lot to take in, and it certainly wasn't a very gentle introduction. "One GP for a hundred Gil, I get it. How much money does it take to go inside? We have a fair amount of Gil, so..."
"Your answer is quite simple, sir," said the attendant with a beaming smile. "A one-time pass will cover all your party members, but expires as soon as you leave the Gold Saucer. We also offer lifetime passes at a slightly higher rate, which I strongly suggest you obtain."
"Yeah, yeah! Yeah!" Yuffie chanted as she hopped up and down, excited at the prospect of picking pockets till the end of time. "Pony up the money, Cloud! Um... How much is a lifetime pass, anyway?" she wondered, putting a finger to her lips.
"A lifetime pass qualifies all party members unlimited access to all facilities," explained the attendant with a bow. "Thirty thousand Gil for a lifetime pass..." Yuffie jumped as she spoke, stunned at the price.
"Th-thirty grand?!" exclaimed Yuffie. She nearly jumped out of her skin at the price, a shiver of anger shuddering her entire body. "That's nuts! How much is the one-time pass, then?" she wondered suspiciously.
"Three thousand Gil," the attendant said, jolting Yuffie. "All paid upfront, no credit or trades are allowed. Discounts are also forbidden."
"For each one of us?!" Yuffie shouted. Trembling with rage, she lifted her hand dramatically and threw her finger out at the attendant (her index finger, if you were wondering). "There's six of us! That's highway robbery, lady!"
"Actually," said the attendant as she calmly lifted her finger, "the three thousand Gil covers up to ten attendees at once. For all of you, the fee is a flat three thousand Gil. And there's no need to yell at me..." Her eyes turned dark, a chilling sensation piercing the air. "Do I need to call Security, little miss?" she murmured grimly.
"Tch, whatever!" scoffed Yuffie, folding her arms with a huff. "I'll let you off easy this time, but next time, I'll take on all y'all if you pump up the price!" Though she wouldn't admit it, the attendant's threat seemed more serious - and more intimidating - than Yuffie wanted to admit to. They probably had killer Security at a place like this and she didn't want to push her luck...
Scene Three
While the party had come into a good chunk of money in their adventures out of Midgar, paying thirty thousand Gil would have hampered them from paying for any future endeavors. For that reason, Cloud paid the three thousand Gil and the team entered the Gold Saucer. What awaited them inside was a massive, circular lobby with seven large tubes lining the edges of the room, with a large plate in the back displaying the layout of the place. Each of the seven tubes led to a different section of the park and were connected in a complicated series of elevators that linked to this, the central hub.
"Chocobo Square's where I'm headed!" shouted Yuffie. Her face scrunched and fists balled, she began to tremble in anticipation. Again, she wasn't going to tell Tifa her plans and risk another injury. All that remained was to watch the races and swindle as many people as she could.
"Whoa!" gasped Aerith, placing her hands over her mouth in amazement as she inspected the plate showing the Saucer's structure. "We could do pretty much anything! Wonder Square, Battle Square, Event Square... What should we hit first?!" Composing herself, she swallowed her anticipation and whirled about to meet her companions with a smile on her face. "I know it's not really the right time, but I think we ought to take a break for a bit and have some fun! We could all use some sunshine in our lives at right now!"
As Yuffie continued to silently and excitedly anticipate her future of thievery, the rest of the party was more ambivalent. True, they could use some joy to brighten up all the gloom of their journey. But was this really the time? Red XIII was more excited than Cloud and Tifa were, but Barret remained silent with his head bowed in the corner. Noticing this, Aerith quietly approached him with a grimace on her face and her hands behind her back. She quickly replaced the frown with a smirk as a plan began to form in her head.
"Chin up, Barret!" trilled Aerith. Coiling around the gloomy Barret, she patted him on the head and widened her smile. Barret jumped, first in surprise and then building to anger that she was treating him like a child. "Everyone needs some fun now and then! Being all gruff and gloomy like this is gonna shorten your life!"
"Um... Aerith?" Tifa approached cautiously, unsure of Aerith's intentions. Pulling her friend in for a quiet chat, she cupped her hand over Aerith's ear. "Is it really a good idea to 'poke the bear', so to speak?" she whispered. Receiving a smile and a wink in reply, Tifa's face dropped and she quickly surrendered to the inevitable. There was no stopping her when she smiles and winks, always indicating Aerith had a "plan."
"Y'know, Barret..." whispered Aerith softly and seriously, the tone of her voice relieving his anger for a moment. Clapping her hands together, her face widened into a beaming smile, unsettling Barret even more. "I don't know 'bout you, but we're gonna have some fun!" she chirped.
"You can take your fun and shove it!" Barret snarled with a pound of his chest. "We ain't on the road to play around!" With an angry growl, he turned to one of the tubes and leapt inside, the one heading to Battle Square.
"Uh... right..." Cloud moaned as he tended to another migraine, wiping the sweat from his brow and relieved that Aerith (sort of) defused the situation (which she created). "So Barret's gone. Where do the rest of us go?" he asked.
"Chocobo Square all the way!" Yuffie cackled as she rubbed her hands together, her trial by swindling about to begin. "See you later, alligators!" she laughed, running up to the Chocobo Square tube and sliding in with a final, deranged giggle. The remainder of the party quickly gave up any hope of keeping her out of trouble.
"I'd like to visit Event Square," Red XIII said. He strode up to the tube and turned his head towards his friends. "We can all meet back here in a couple hours, right? That should be enough time for us to have some fun." Red XIII crawled into the elevator and slipped in with a slight yowl, leaving his last three friends behind.
Scene Four
With Barret departed to parts unknown and their other friends on their own journeys, Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith were left in the lobby to ponder their next course of action. While she wanted to check out Battle Square, Tifa didn't feel comfortable leaving Cloud alone with Aerith so she lingered. Aerith took notice, but failed to form one of her infamous "plans"; she was willing to share for the time being.
"That leaves the three of us, then..." muttered Cloud as he put his hand to his chin. By now he'd noticed the tension between both of his friends, yet was still uncertain as to his own feelings. Keeping a close watch on both of them seemed prudent.
"Y-Yeah..." Tifa stuttered, unsure of how to proceed. None of them wanted to be the first to speak, but slowly Tifa's courage bubbled to the surface. "Why don't we stick together for now?" she wondered.
"Sounds good!" tittered Aerith. She tightened her fist and pumped it hard, a gleam forming in her eye. There was still plenty of opportunities for mischief. "Together it is! Um... But where do we actually go?"
There was a brief silence amongst the party. They had three friends headed to three different sectors of the Saucer: Barret to Battle Square, Red XIII to Event Square, and Yuffie to the Chocobo Square to do her ill deeds. Which to follow? Barret clearly wanted to be left alone and Yuffie needed space to do... whatever the hell it was she was going to do... so the three friends shifted their eyes towards the Event Square elevator. Sharing a nod, they hopped inside and prepared for the trip of their lives.
As it turns out, it was. The inside of the Gold Saucer seemed to be an endless catacombs of tubes and elevators. Like a colossal mole hill, the paths criscrossed seemingly mindlessly and they quickly felt a vacuum draw them in deep. The elevator, if you could call it that, sucked the three inside with a loud popping noise and they dropped through a chute into the center of the Saucer's heart.
"What the hell is-"
Their cries, uniform between the three, burst from their lips as the air evacuated their lungs just before Tifa's loud shriek pierced the air. As the three friends zoomed down into a maze of tubes and turnabouts, sliding down it like a circus ride from hell, they could all feel the wonder of the place strike them in their hearts. It was a hell of a ride! The innards of the mushroom, full of twists and turns, looked like a hamster cage went on a bender and redecorated itself.
At the bottom of the tube was a massive chamber looking much like a bingo machine. Its inhabitants dropped in from the elevator entryways and seemed to bounce on a cushion of air before being swept in by a giant vacuum that led to a central hub. Once there, Cloud and his friends found themselves inside a series of shifting tubes that escorted visitors throughout the park.
Tifa's cries and Cloud's screams echoed through the chamber as they dropped down and were shunted by way of a new tube towards the hole labeled "Event Square." On the way down, enjoying every minute of the trip, Aerith noticed a mortified Barret bounce from tube to tube before dropping into the "Battle Square" hole. Try as she might, she couldn't surpress her own laughter and found it bouncing from inside her chest out from her lungs like she was.
Mercifully, the journey ended as Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith landed squarely on their feet inside a wide new lobby. Cloud stumbled a bit and Tifa's teeth chattered, but Aerith was wildly amused, both at the crazy ride she'd just gone through and the sight of Barret flailing about inside the tubes. It really tickled her funny bone, and the sudden upswell of oxygen seemed to invigorate her, whereas it terrified her friends.
"That was fun!" Aerith laughed as she wobbled side to side, finally coming to rest standing upright next to her friends, who were much less amused (and shaken). "Again, again! Let's do it again, guys!" she cheered as she lifted her arm high in the air. Seeing the fearsome glares shot her way, soaked with horror, Aerith retreated with a giggle. "Or maybe another time?" she squeaked.
Cloud, meanwhile, was distinctly not amused, and as he stabilized a great fury filled him. "Mother-" Cloud's foul language abruptly ended as Tifa clapped a hand over his mouth, nearly toppling the both of them. As they recovered he glared at Tifa, who replied with a sheepish grin and shrugged her shoulders. "There has got to be a stairway somewhere!" he groaned as he held his aching head.
"Oh, you mean like that one?" asked Aerith innocently as she pointed to a large set of stairs just to their right that broke up into various paths, presumably linking the various sectors. Sensing her friends' growing fury and staring into their bloodshot eyes, she quickly retreated backwards with her hands lifted in self defense. "Uh... okay, so maybe they could have just put that back in the lobby..." she giggled quietly.
Scene Five
Each of the sections of the Gold Saucer were situated on one of the "tops" of its various mushroom layers. The Event Square was where parties and special... well, events were thrown for visitors of the park. It split off into several different areas that included concert halls and theaters, breaking open from a central lobby into a number of directions. It was also swarming with Shinra soldiers.
Before any of them could react, a flash of red fur jumped on top of them and dropped the three to the floor. They rolled a ways with Red XIII before slowly coming to a stop, then darted towards the safety of being behind the stairway. As quietly as they could, the four ascended the staircase to find a new elevator that led back to the lobby, where it opened from the display case that showed the Gold Saucer's layout.
"Why are there Shinra troops all over?! We almost got snared!" Cloud shouted as he stormed back inside the lobby, trying his best not to swear at the people who had designed the place and the ordeal he'd gone through. He tried to replace that anger with the fear of seeing Shinra soldiers and tried to put the previous trip out of his mind. It wasn't really working...
"And that's what's got you riled up?!" Tifa snarled, balling her fists and puffing out her chest. "Not the roiling trip into the bubbling cauldron of hell?! I'd rather fight the entire Shinra army than do that again!" she shouted angrily. Seeing Aerith's amusement and Cloud's stony glare, she quickly dropped the issue. "Fine, whatever..." Tifa sighed as she held her head and waved her hand. "Yeah, okay, fine, let's talk about Shinra..." she muttered with a huff.
"They've been there since before you three came," explained Red XIII. "When I got here, they were checking ID's and asking questions to everyone who passed through the lobby. I hid, and I was about to head back up, but then you guys dropped in... Literally..."
"There are only two possibilities: they're either looking for us or Sephiroth," Tifa said softly. "Whoever they're looking for, we better steer clear of Event Square until the heat lets up. Now that we know where the stairs are, I think we ought to split up again..."
"I think I'll join Yuffie at the Chocobo Square..." Red XIII sighed. "You three ought to find another sector to hide in. I think that Wonder Square is the biggest, so you may be able to blend in easier there."
"Agreed," nodded Tifa. "You head to Chocobo Square and try to rein in Yuffie. If she gets in trouble - and she will - tell her I'm on my way and she'll... well, probably not stop. I guess it's a lost cause. The three of us will head to Wonder Square and hide out..."
"Shouldn't we split up, like you said?" Cloud wondered, startling Tifa. Her motivations hadn't been upfront enough for him to catch on. "I mean, you literally just said we should do that..." he sighed.
"Oh, uh..." Tifa stuttered, unwilling (and struggling) to explain her logic. Leaving Cloud alone with Aerith was still out of the question. "If we do get attacked, that way we have a better chance of winning the fight! Yeah, th-that's the smart thing to do!"
I'm still not leaving her alone with Cloud...
"Sounds good to me!" said Aerith cheerfully. Unlike Cloud she recognized Tifa's reasoning, and as much as she wanted to go with him alone, if she made a move and Tifa wasn't there she would pulverize her when they reunited. If she was with her, chances are she wouldn't dare, and she didn't feel like dying the next time they met. "If it's the place that has the most fun, I wanna go there first!"
"And what about Red XIII?" Cloud deadpanned. Folding his arms he narrowed his eyes at Tifa, who seemed to shrink from him. "What if they're waiting for him in Chocobo Square and strike? If they end up there and he-"
"He-He's got Yuffie!" Tifa growled quietly, unable to hide her growing frustration. "The two of them can hold their own just as much as the three of us could! Have some faith in them! Now let's go, Cloud! There isn't much time before they might close in on us."
"They were in Event Square," Cloud reasoned, "and what's the chances they check the lobby now? We ought to be safe for a while..."
"Because they might not be in Wonder Square!" Aerith explained, backing Tifa up. "If they're going section by section, maybe that's going to be their last stop. Same with Chocobo Square. Besides, two groups, split in teams of two and three respectively, is better than five suspicious characters in one section at a time. And then there's Barret doing whatever he's doing..."
"Fine, fine! Okay!" groaned Cloud as he put a hand to his aching head. "You've convinced me! Red XIII joins Yuffie in Chocobo Square and the three of us go to Wonder Square. We ought to go before my headache gets any worse..."
Scene Six
Of all the Gold Saucer's sectors, the Wonder Square best encapsulated the feeling the park was going for. The myriad of rides, attractions, vendors... Everything you'd find in an amusement park and more were inside that one single sector. Arm wrestlers, fortune tellers, even sports simulations of things like snowboarding, motorcycling... The submarine simulator wouldn't be active for a while, but many visitors eagerly awaited its opening.
Fortunately, the bingo machine wasn't the only way to progress through the Saucer. There were sections of stairways and passages that linked the various sectors, running through the mushroom like blood veins. Visitors only learned about those after the bingo machine, when they were more prone to spending Gil after their harrowing experience through the mad mushroom. Shaken up, their common sense would be compromised.
The entryway to Wonder Square consisted both of tubular "bingo machine" paths and a passage linking the lobby, seven chutes and a retractable walkway that opened into a wide open area that looked almost like the Loveless District in Midgar in both its scope and design. Linking the entryway to the main attractions was a large elevator, shaped like the curved beak of a chocobo.
"Holy crap!" Aerith gasped, shaken by the scale of the Square. Bubbling with excitement, she watched as the beak-like elevator opened and closed while carrying a slew of passengers to and from the Wonder Square's center. Judging by their excited banter, they were clearly entertained by something big. "I'm gonna do it all, y'all!" she cheered with a pump of her fist, rushing towards the chocobo elevator with a smile plastered on her face. Cloud and Tifa watched silently, amazed by the energy that she was oozing. If it was infectious, it would likely be lethal.
"And, uh... Yeah, then there's that..." Cloud moaned, putting his hand to his head. He'd never seen her so excited, even when she'd formulated one of her 'plans' and carried them out. That said a lot. "Should we really stick around and watch the chaos? I don't think I could handle seeing her any more cheerful than this..."
"Well, there's other sections!" tittered Tifa. Battle Square was out, and Event Square was accounted for. "I don't want to go to Ghost Square, it creeps me out... Maybe Speed Square, the roller coaster? Maybe one of us could win a prize in the shooting gallery?"
"I'd like to check out Battle Square..." sighed Cloud, folding his arms over his chest. The idea of Ghost Square didn't really appeal to him, and he'd rather cut things than fire darts at them. "But if Barret's there wreaking havoc, I don't want to interrupt him..."
"Well, then there's Round Square," Tifa said smilingly, but quickly began to rethink her plans. Going on a romantic trip around the Saucer made her feel uncomfortable all of a sudden. Would one of them make a move? What would Aerith say? And what would she even say during the ride? Should she say anything?
Cloud's feelings were uncertain, though for slightly different reasons than Tifa. Part of him wanted to fight in Battle Square, test out his skills against the best of the best. But what if Barret was already there causing trouble? And Round Square? How would he really feel if it was just him and Tifa in a tiny gondola? What would Aerith think? Would she make a move on him? Should he try and build on what he considered a great friendship, and if so, into what?
"'Scuse me, folks..."
Both Cloud and Tifa were startled as they were addressed by an unknown voice, which they determined to be from what looked like a monstrous slot machine with arms. But as the arms moved and two stumpy legs waddled towards them, they could tell it was more than a machine. It looked like a large, pudgy pink ogre with massive fists and tiny wings on its back, with a tusked face and pointed ears.
Further examination revealed its rider: a roughly three foot high anthropomorphic black cat wearing a crown and a red cape and carrying an exaggerated megaphone as big as its head. Like the enigmatic Cheshire Cat it wore a frighteningly sinister grin, one that unsettled both Cloud and Tifa at the same time.
"What the bloody hell are you?!" snarled Cloud, stepping back with a hand on the Buster Sword. Seeing it approach ignited his survival instinct. Something about it held fighting spirit, and he sensed the aura of a strange materia. Whatever it was, somehow, it could fight.
"Ah, yes, yes, my apologies!" crooned the cat atop the ogre, its head bouncing side to side like a cartoon character. It seemed unnaturally cheerful. "Sorry, m'boy, sorry!" it said as it hopped on top of the pink ogre and took a deep bow. "First time seeing a moogle?"
"That's the most screwed up moogle I've ever seen!" Tifa spat back as she put her hands on her hips. "Aren't they supposed to be smaller, and... well... cuter? This thing's more monstrous than some of the monsters I've seen!"
"Ah, yes, yes, my apologies! My moogle is indeed a bit of an odd duck, it is!" laughed the crowned cat. "My, my, my... But! We're getting off topic!" it said cheerfully. "Perhaps I can offer you a fortune telling, folks?"
Tifa startled at the suggestion. It certainly wasn't what she was expecting. "Fortune telling? You're a fortune telling machine?!" she gasped. After thinking briefly, she began to shake in frustration. "Then... then what the hell is the cat there for?!"
"Someone has to tell the fortune, madam!" the cat cackled, a laugh mad as a hatter that rattled them both. Tifa's eye twitched in annoyance, but it did sort of make sense so she dropped the issue. "My name is Cait Sith," it said as it bowed gracefully. "Toysaurus and fortune teller extraordinaire, at your service! Anything you might want divined, my friends? Perhaps someone you're... looking for?" It said the last words with an unconscious halt, almost as if it caught itself from slipping a secret.
Turning a suspicious eye to Tifa, Cloud pondered the statement. He'd noticed the pause, but was it a Freudian slip or a nervous tic? Tifa's glance affirmed her thoughts and his suspicions; something was fishy.
"Well, if you can find someone..." Cloud murmured quietly, apprehensively. Was it too good to be true? Even if it was, there was still a chance. "Then there's a certain jackass I'd like to pin down by the name of Sephiroth..."
Scene Seven
Wonder Square had lost Cloud and Tifa Aerith's company and replaced it with a cackling cat on top of a monstrous moogle. Cait Sith, as it called itself, claimed to be a fortune telling machine, capable of finding what could not be found. And there was one person they hadn't found that they had to: Sephiroth.
"So it's a fellow by the name of Sephiroth, it is?" queried Cait Sith, putting a gloved hand to his furred chin. "'Tis nothing to be found that I cannot find! Just a moment..." Settling down in a lotus pose, the cat slowly began to hum a strange tune. "Hmm... mmm... mmm... mmm!" To the surprise of Cloud and Tifa, the oversized moogle began to shudder like a working steam engine. Cait Sith's eyes snapped open and a tiny scrap of paper looking like a receipt popped out of the moogle's mouth. "There you go!" trilled the fortune teller. "That should be all there is to be known, it is!"
Cloud snatched the piece of paper from the cat and turned it over to read. What he read was beyond his comprehension. "Moderately lucky... Good will to others will lead to good will for you... what the hell is this crap?!" he shouted as he scrunched the paper up and tossed it behind him.
"My, my, my! Sorry, m'boy!" Cait Sith moaned as he bowed his head (the moogle comically mimicked his movements) and again assumed the lotus position. "Let me try again. Hmm... mmm... mmm... mmm!" Again his steed trembled wildly, and another receipt popped of its mouth, which Cait Sith handed to Cloud.
As Cloud read, his frustration only continuted to build. "Remember your manners... forgetfulness is a sin... your lucky color is blue?! What is wrong with you, you hunk of junk?!" Cloud snarled as he scrunched the paper up and tossed it again.
"My, my, my! Hmm..." hummed Cait Sith. Assuming the lotus pose for a third time, he patted his moogle's head as if trying to work out a kink. Oddly enough, it sounded almost hollow. "Let me try one more time! It'll work, I swear! Hmm... mmm... mmm... mmm!" With a click a third receipt popped from the moogle's mouth.
"This is just so damned pointless..." growled Cloud as he gripped Tifa's arm. "Let's get out of here. This thing's on the fritz or something..." Cloud turned to leave but was stopped as Tifa held firm. Though he struggled, he made no headway. "What are you doing?" he asked incredulously. "Let me go!"
"You never know, third time might be the charm," Tifa said simply, "and we can't afford to pass up a chance like this if it actually gives us a clue. Let's hear what the big lug has one more time. And..." She adjusted her glove menacingly, fingers clenching into a fist. "That's all the chances I'm going to give it..." she said darkly.
Swallowing hard, Cait Sith snatched up the paper and began to read. A strange look crossing his face, the cat read and reread the receipt seemingly searching for an answer to his answer. Puzzled, he continued to frantically dart his eyes back and forth across the tiny scrap of paper.
"Oh, give it to me, already!" snapped Cloud. He snatched the slip of paper from the cat and lifted it to his face. "This better-" As he read the fortune, his eyes opened wide and he loosed a gasp. "Wh-what... what the hell...?!"
"Let me read it," Tifa exclaimed as she took the paper from Cloud. What she read chilled her and knocked her back two paces. "You'll find what you seek, but in doing so you shall lose what is most important to you... Wh-what kind of fortune is this? This is pretty morbid for a side show fortune telling machine... This is a load of crap!" she snarled as she ripped it to pieces.
"Hmm... mmm... mmm... my, oh, my!" Cait Sith gasped, cartoonishly placing his paws over his mouth in shock. "I've never gotten one like this before... But I swear, this one's got to be right. Well, I guess we'll find out together..." he sighed with resignation.
"Together?" Cloud cautiously repeated the word, uncertain of its meaning. The eager look in the cat's eye and his Cheshire grin slowly led him to the answer and Cloud's face suddenly dropped as low as his jaw. "No frickin' way! Get lost!" he yelled.
"What are you talking about?" wondered Tifa. "I don't get it... You shouldn't be that rude, Cloud! He just said we're going to find out..." With a jolt, Tifa's jaw dropped and she gasped out loud. "Wait, together?! What the... You don't mean-" Cait Sith nodded solemnly and Tifa promptly took him by the shoulders and shook him violently. "You are not coming with us, you little munchkin!"
"In that case, madam, I shall simply follow you," said Cait Sith with a beaming grin that swelled Tifa's fury further. "I never leave a riddle unsolved. So, I'll just become your friend and see to it I get my answer. We're cool, right?"
Tifa's whole body began to tremble and she barely resisted throttling the cat. "No, we are not cool!" she hissed. "What makes you think I'm going to let you force your way into our group?! And you know what? I'm going to beat the hell out of you if you try, too!" Watching Cait Sith's droopy scowl, Tifa's anger continued to sizzle. "And don't give me the pouty cat face! You little son of a-"
"Okay, okay, enough!" Cloud moaned. He separated Tifa from Cait Sith and, to Tifa's fury, blocked her from attacking him. With a shake of his head, he gestured her to give up. "It's easier just to let the idiot join us than stalk us." Cait Sith hopped cheerfully on his moogle, waving his megaphone as if in triumph. Cloud's glare quickly quieted him, though, and made him sweat. "But if you bog us down, that's the end of it, okay? No more following us."
With a salute, Cait Sith quickly snapped to attention. Seeing Cloud's lack of amusement and Tifa's glare, however, he allowed his face to loosen into a grimace and he nodded solemnly. It seemed that he'd calmed down enough to give everyone time to settle in to their new arrangement. Even it was a one-sided arrangement.
"Well, uh... I suggest we go to Battle Square," Cait Sith moaned. "We could all use some refreshing violence in our lives. I hear they're hosting a new tournament in a few hours and I'd wager we'll find some entertainment there..." he said smilingly. Perhaps a bit too smilingly. Cloud and Tifa exchanged cautious glances, not trusting their new travel companion, which didn't keep Cait Sith from narrowing his eye at them fiendishly.
Infiltration... complete.
Scene Eight
Battle Square was one of the major attractions at the Gold Saucer, where both monsters and warriors battled for the entertainment of the masses as well as the owner of the Gold Saucer, Dio. He had a trophy room set up in this sector, filled with all the knick knacks and treasures he'd found around the world, and Dio was host to a number of tournaments and special events involving battles. Typically it was guarded by in-house security, but because they were sweeping the Gold Saucer a Shinra trooper was there instead.
Wordlessly Cloud drew his sword and pointed it at the soldier. Strangely, however, he made no effort to attack. As Cloud tilted his head in confusion, the Shinra trooper spat out blood and fell dead to the floor, a pool of blood forming from his corpse that splattered over the floor. Tifa quickly rushed up and turned him over, searching for answers.
"They're gunshot wounds!" Tifa gasped, then silently closed the soldier's eyes. "He hasn't been dead long... the blood's still warm to the touch..." Sensing a shadow pass by her peripheral vision, her head shot up to find Cloud gone. She muttered a curse and quickly followed, with Cait Sith close behind.
What awaited was a massacre. Almost a dozen Shinra soldiers lay in pools of blood, as did half a dozen employees. The walls were splattered red, the floors crimson, and an eerie silence hung over the scene. Tifa quickly rushed to one of the employees, a young woman, and turned her over to find her still alive, if barely conscious.
"Stay with me!" breathed Tifa. As she wiped the tears from the employee's eyes, she looked deeply into them to see a dim, fading light within. She wasn't going to last much longer, and Tifa bowed her head in grief.
"Was it Sephiroth?!" Cloud gasped as he lowered his sword. "No... wait..." Crouching down he inspected one of the dead soldiers. "They've all been shot! Must be a large caliber... the wounds are pretty big..."
The woman Tifa held opened her eyes weakly, staring back at her with only a few breaths remaining. Tifa laid her hand gently on her face, rubbing away the blood from her mouth. "Who did this?" asked Tifa frantically. Seeing her patient's life waning, she softly slapped her on the cheek, opening the employee's eyes wider. "What kind of monster-"
"H-He..." hacked the dying employee, a thin stream of blood dribbling from her mouth. Struggling, she lifted her hand and pointed downwards with her thumb. "He had a gun on his arm..." Tifa's eyes went wide at hearing her words, a chill piercing her heart. "He's headed... below... he's..."
"A gun on his arm?! That's impossible!" rasped Tifa. For all the time she'd known him, Barret had never hurt an innocent person. "The only one with a gun on his arm is..." To Tifa's horror, the employee's eyes closed and her head fell limply to the ground. "Y-You've got to be lying, right?! It's a lie! Barret-"
"So your friend did this?" Cait Sith gasped. He hopped from his moogle and inspected the young lady in Tifa's arms. With a sigh, he threw up his arms in frustration. "He must be pretty brutish to-" Before Cait Sith could react, the back of Tifa's hand struck his face and sent him flying past his moogle. Recovering quickly, he hopped back on the moogle with a scowl. "Okay, so maybe I spoke out of turn..." he moaned.
Stepping back and shaking his head, Cloud analyzed the scene with the eye of a detective, but every answer he came to was the same: Barret. "There's something wrong!" he gasped. "Barret would never do something like this!" Pausing, he began to tremble, his heart wavering. "But that woman had no earthly reason to lie..."
"Scoundrels!"
The trio turned to find a group of men dressed in suits, a muscular hulk of a man dressed in a speedo behind them. Dio, the owner of the Gold Saucer, glared menacingly at Cloud. Without words, it was clear he blamed them. Before Cloud could react, Cait Sith's fuzzy body passed his eye. Muttering a curse, he and Tifa quickly joined his flight to the only other door they could see.
What they walked into was the Battle Arena itself. It was a lone, circular platform surrounded by a pool of lava, held up by four huge chains that bound it in place. Realizing his situation, Cloud glanced back at his friends before a great rumble shook the arena. Three monstrous machines, three machine guns trained on them, slammed onto the platform and began to menacingly approach the party. The last thing Cloud saw was a flash of red...
Scene Nine
Now in captivity, Cloud, Tifa, and Cait Sith were bound in chains and dragged into what almost resembled a torture chamber, with a huge circular steel plate located in the center of the room. To Cloud's shock, the three of them were reunited with a shackled Yuffie and Red XIII, who were shoved alongside them into the central plate. His eyes darting between the both of them, Cloud saw Yuffie in handcuffs and Red XIII with his legs weighted in steel bindings.
"They got you too?!" Cloud snarled, struggling against his bonds. Red XIII could only close his eyes in a resigned anger, though Yuffie, a bit more animated, was trying frantically to pick the locks on her cuffs. Cloud could only sigh in frustration at her (typical) behavior.
"You sons of bitches! Bastards! Jackasses! You... uh... Damn it, I ran out of words I'm allowed to say!" Yuffie cursed wildly, struggling to free herself but finally resigned herself and shot a nasty glare at Cloud. "And YOU! What the hell did you do?!" she hissed, snarling and biting in his direction. "I was just about to cheat the pants off of-" When Tifa's death glare met her eyes, Yuffie quickly clammed up and stomped her foot. "Gawd, what a mess!"
"The red beast came willingly," Dio snarled, "but the girl bit one of my guards. I certainly hope she isn't infected with something!" He briefly patted Yuffie's cheek, but was repelled when she chomped at his hand. "Little brat!" he growled. "At least the beast didn't-"
"I came willingly at the end of a rifle!" Red XIII spat back as he bared his teeth. Struggling against his bonds, he nevertheless could do little more than give Dio the evil eye. "The Shinra soldiers figured we were vagabonds and ignored us, but these assholes knew who we were from the start!"
Aerith alone seemed quiet and calm, her head hung low. Cait Sith caught her eye, the cat having been hogtied to his moogle, and she quickly lifted her eyebrow. "What's with the kitty cat?" she wondered. "He's kind of cute..."
"He's a freeloading punk!" Cloud shouted as he tried to break his chains. Seeing Cait Sith's outraged reaction, he narrowed his eyes and grit his teeth at him. "It's because of him we're here in the first place!"
"My, my, my!" Cait Sith growled. As he hadn't been gagged, he scowled at Cloud. Cloud's response was to snarl at him again, and Cait Sith stuck his tongue out at him. "So I'm a freeloader, I am?! Poppycock! I happen to be a gentleman, I'll have you know, and that, good sir, is slander!" he huffed.
"If that stupid cat doesn't shut up," Yuffie snarled, "I'm gonna shove something down its fuzzy little throat! We don't need color commentary from a feline freak like you! You want me to sell you to a violin factory or something?!" she growled, biting in his direction. Cait Sith quickly clammed up. Clearly he had a survival instinct.
"This is crazy! We're innocent!" Cloud protested to Dio, who stood in front of him with a foul glare. Meeting his eyes, Cloud tried to pierce Dio's with his hatred. "What gives you the right to do this, you jerk?!"
"It's my Gold Saucer, so that's why I have the right!" growled Dio, folding his arms with a huff. "And we already apprehended the culprit! We threw him down the gutter before we got you guys in custody! And that's where you're going!"
"There's got to be some kind of mistake!" screamed Cloud as he stuck his face in Dio's, trying desperately to break the chains, though Dio seemed less than impressed. "Barret would never do something so-"
As the circle beneath them began to open when Dio pulled a lever, Cloud and the rest turned a desperate eye to an indifferent Dio as their chains snapped apart. Within moments, all they could see was steel and all they could feel was a heavy vacuum drawing them deep into the hole...
Author's Notes
I had a lot of fun writing this one. Scene Four in particular tickled my fancy. I really hope someone got a laugh or two out of it... The reactions after they landed are probably my favorite part of the chapter, followed by Cait Sith's introduction.
For Cait Sith, for whatever reason, I was thinking of him being a Leprechaun when I wrote him... with a few shades of Brook from One Piece and Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. I really hope he develops more into something other than... well... that. Fun to write, though. It's like I suddenly have a Looney Toons character in a Final Fantasy fic to work with.
And the love triangle rears its head again. I know from the game itself the whole dynamic is mostly ignored, but I wanted to try and add some flavor to the whole scenario. Canon? Doubtful. But I like how this is developing.