Recap: Hisoka discovered Tsuzuki's god-like power and has a hard time dealing with it. Hisoka questions a lot of things involving Tsuzuki, especially their friendship, and is surprised to find Tsuzuki at his doorstep after work.

Auhor's Note: Not too many people have capitalized on Tsuzuki's demon ancestry which was discovered in episode 12, part 3 of the Kyoto File arc, probably because they simply may not have watched that far into the anime. Can't imagine why, but it was so ripe for the plucking! So this is sort of actually canon, if you think about it, readers. Questions/comments are welcome, it helps me figure out what I need to clarify! Please log in to review so I can reply to you .

Dedication: To my very own rabid fangirl, Snowy Leopardess, and to ElvinaPotter, love your enthusiasm girlies!

A Demon's Kiss

By Scarlet Willows

Chapter Two – A Bedtime Story

"W-why are you here?" I asked before I could stop myself. "I want to tell you a bedtime story," said Tsuzuki in his beautiful deep voice, eyes never leaving mine as he stood at my threshold. "And I wanted to cuddle with Porker." So he was going to act as if nothing ever happened? I almost didn't want to let him in, but decided not to be petty and I moved to give him entry anyway.

He just seemed different to me now, regal, dignified, and he had a presence that surpassed his swimmer's build and height of six feet, five inches. He was serious, not his usual hyper self. He stood straighter, he walked gracefully. He took off his shoes and duster (he was still wearing the jeans and white tank top under a button down oxford), moved to the couch and looked at me as if I should follow. I couldn't help but feel as if I should prostrate myself before him or something, bowing to his obvious majesty, a side he had never shown me. So I did the next best thing, I sat down on the carpet and crossed my legs like a child awaiting the promised bedtime story, but I made the motion look casual – I know he saw through it. I couldn't look him in the eye, anything but those knowing eyes.

He probably felt uncomfortable with my subtle act of submission, so he sat across from me on the floor and mirrored my position. He just looked at me for a little while and I was so uncomfortable I even fidgeted a little, something that was out of character for me. "Once upon a time there was a Guardian of Death who had a demon in him. For years he was unaware until it awakened. At first it manifested in little ways. He'd sleep less and wake up feeling better. He could see, smell, and hear better. He heard so well he was able to eaves drop on people's thoughts, little snatches here and there. He moved things with his mind; he destroyed things. One day it all just hit him over the head like a sack of bricks. He had to keep it tightly hidden to keep from exploding at first. He started gaining better control with practice. The demon started urging him in other ways. He wanted to lash out. He became more protective, possessive even, of the ones he loved...so possessive that if anyone so much as looked in his friends' direction, he wanted to tear their face off and could have easily done it...it scared him. And he had such a hunger...a craving for.... Well, it would have scared his partner. He felt his demon side was a monster. A side he was afraid to show. So he kept it hidden until he felt he had enough control. And he never lied, Hisoka," he finished quietly yet it echoed throughout the still room.

But why were you hiding your power? It's not that bad. I don't care what you are, I accept everything about you. It hurts that you felt you couldn't have shared that with me. I pondered to myself, partly because I didn't trust my voice and partly because I wanted to see if he was reading my thoughts.

:I wasn't hiding.: I heard his voice reply in my head, but it sounded amplified as if it were coming from every direction…I had never heard anyone's thoughts like that, it made me feel…so small. But I knew he was trying to be gentle. :I knew you'd be afraid. I knew you weren't ready until now…I don't like telling people, it makes them feel intimidated and that's not what I want. It's making you feel uncomfortable around me right now; I can feel it. That's not what I wanted…not with you.:

"Every time we've fought something…why have you held back? Every time you've been hurt," and here my voice choked, remembering times when I thought he was going to 'die', "Why did you not spare yourself the suffering?"

He spoke with his physical vocal cords, sensing that his unfamiliar telepathic voice was making me uneasy. "I wanted you to become stronger. You went from a Level Four to a Level Thirteen in twenty years…that's fast progress. And not everyone progresses. As for being hurt…." He sighed heavily. "It reminds me that I'm not just something…dark…that I'm human, too." I understood and I nodded. I knew of the need to feel human all too well. "I've never lied to you, Hisoka. It may seem that I have different faces…different masks…but they are all truly me, just different sides. The Tsuzuki you saw in the training room today is the same Tsuzuki that wolfed down that entire chocolate cake yesterday." I brightened a little bit at the memory because he'd had bits of icing on his lush mouth that I'd wanted to lick away. Right then, Porker decided to make an appearance, licking his chops after finishing his tuna dinner and lazily waltzing over to plop heavily into my partner's lap (for it was his second favorite spot and he was guaranteed to get a massage). Tsuzuki tickled the feline's belly, and Porker stretched to welcome the prodding fingers, and he whispered fondly, "Who's my tubby-wubby-kins?"

I felt a little better sitting here with him like this. It gave me a sense of normalcy – normal for us anyway – as I watched him play with my cat…the only thing missing was dinner and music in the background. "Tsuzuki…." He looked up from scratching Porker between his soft fuzzy ears, instantly attentive and so focused on me that it was unnerving again and he scooted closer until our knees were touching. "I...I guess I am afraid…of your power…because it's new to me. You probably already know that I can feel Guardian's Levels." He nodded. "I couldn't feel you. Nothing. But, I could always catch your thoughts and feelings, so I thought that was just my telepathy being in tune with you or that you just weren't guarded and I was picking up the leakage…but then Tatsumi told me that you were never unguarded and that whatever leaked out was on purpose. I'm so confused." It felt better talking about it even though I knew he probably knew what I'd been thinking all day. Felt a little one-sided. I still couldn't meet his eyes, so I fiddled with some lint on the cream carpet.

"The thoughts and emotions that you picked up on were real, but they were only on the surface. You never say it, but I know it simultaneously irritates you and makes you feel better when you hear my thoughts in the background…it makes you feel like you're not alone. I only let you into my mind, at least on the exterior…that's farther than anyone else. I thought it would make you more comfortable, that it would make us better synchronized as partners. If I were to let you read all my thoughts and emotions, like Tatsumi said, you probably would overload." He looked somber as he said this, like he regretted that I would never be able to do the aforementioned. :And I do give you your privacy, I tend to pick up on your feelings easier and sometimes I can't help it, but I rarely eavesdrop on your thoughts or your memories…today was different. And…I know this has been worrying you…I have known how you feel towards me, that you love me…with all your heart. And I will address that, but at a later time…one serious conversation at a time and tonight is not our night for that, although it doesn't make it less important…there are things that I want you to know before we talk about…that.: I almost flinched. So it wasn't a flat-out rejection, but I didn't like the sound of it and I braced for the worst. "Hisoka." His real voice almost startled me, it was pleading and sincere and when I finally looked up, his eyes were hesitant. "Don't you dare feel guilty…you have nothing to be ashamed of. You're love is so beautiful and pure."

"I don't feel pure, not after Muraki cursed me and stole my –" I cut myself off. I didn't like to talk about my rape. My voice was so quiet and timid because he'd attend to every one of my insecurities...I couldn't maintain his gaze so I hung my head. "I wanted to give that to…someone special." The postscript of 'to you' hung in the air profoundly, but he didn't say anything. Instead, he lifted my chin and I saw that he was smiling softly as he leaned in to kiss my forehead, like you would a little brother, something he did fairly often as he was more of an affectionate creature.

"I know," he murmured against my skin and I shuddered slightly, an action I'm sure he didn't miss. He pulled back slowly, his fingers lingering on my face. "I consider you a virgin. What Muraki did to you was not…it wasn't your choice and…it was rape, not lovemaking…and I will kill anyone who so much as touches you in a way that you don't like. I only wish I could've spared you, Hisoka. Just remember, not everyone's touch will be like Muraki's." He looked into the distance for a few moments, seeing God only knows what. "You'll understand soon, 'Soka. Come on," He stood abruptly, extending his hand to help me up and I took it, mental shields at full force – but I supposed it didn't matter anyway since he knew my big secret. He hoisted me up and I was aware that he was very much in my personal 'bubble', but I was only too happy to share. "Let's get some dinner. Let's go out to eat this time, my treat."

"You're just tired of my pasta," I hit him playfully on the arm. He chuckled, a rich sound that should've been fattening. I made pasta or stir-fry very often because it was easy and it came prepackaged and I didn't have to do much. I was a terrible cook and I hardly knew a spatula from a beater. Tsuzuki was an excellent cook (except for when he made curry) and my kitchen was usually his domain. So we grabbed our jackets and headed out the door. I was nervous, but I felt as if some weight had been lifted off my chest. I almost felt normal…almost.

…

He took me to a hole-in-the-wall curry shop that was very cozy and had little lanterns on the ceiling, tinkling water fountains and lush bamboo plants everywhere. It was his favorite place that we usually visited on special occasions, like the closing of a difficult case, but I could never remember the restaurant's name for the life of me. Kangen music with traditional lutes played softly in the background accompanied by chimes. Technically we didn't need to eat, but it was a pleasing habit from our human lives. It was so relaxing and the food was luxurious, which was why we frequented the place.

A sweet middle-aged woman showed us to a fairly private booth, which I was thankful for, and we ordered some tea. "No sake tonight?" Thought you'd be glad of it. I know I would if I could handle the stuff.

"It doesn't affect me anymore," he said casually, surveying the room disinterestedly as he sipped some water. Huh...ok.

"I helped Watari clean his lab today," I supplied, anything to get past this sudden awkwardness.

"God, that must've been some feat. I would not envy you there, that guy needs some serious help!" Well this was nice, we were talking...normally. I could do this. This was the Tsuzuki I knew. We talked like this often, sharing the interesting parts of our day.

"Yeah, then Mr. Tatsumi came in and they both embarrassed me so badly with their insinuations. It's sweet...they are so happy together," I said this a little distractedly as I was watching other customers. I smiled fondly to myself, truly blessed to have Watari and Tatsumi for friends. I didn't really notice that Tsuzuki had started restlessly drumming his fingers on the wooden table, but then again he usually did that when he was hungry.

"Don't worry, you'll be that happy too, 'Soka. Promise." I found Tsuzuki was looking at me intently, like he wanted to say something more, and I felt awkward all over again. I'd been wishing for something similar earlier in Watari's office. Had he heard me then? Luckily, just then the tea arrived and I busied myself with doctoring it to my liking with sugar and honey. We ordered our usuals (vegetable curry) and the server bustled away to attend other customers. "It makes you uncomfortable that I've said that," he paused, looked at me pointedly and I slowly nodded. His eyes were suddenly more piercing, his face more intense. His fingers drummed faster. "You keep second guessing at what I could have heard and what I'm guessing at, am I right?"

"Yeah." Another nervous sip of tea.

"See why I didn't want to tell you? I didn't want you to get flustered by this." He sighed, his chestnut wisps falling over his eyes as he rubbed his forehead. Drum, drum, drum. "For the record I'm not reading your mind right now, but after twenty years of knowing someone you really don't have to be a psychic to know what you're thinking."

"Well I sure as fuck couldn't tell you what you're thinking." Yeah, I was a little frustrated. He was holding all the cards and it was making me uneasy. "I'm sorry, that was a little uncalled for." I continued to stir my tea.

He was silent then. His drumming fingers stopped. Our food arrived and we thanked the kindly middle-aged woman. I wasn't feeling very hungry now, but I ate some, until I noticed Tsuzuki hadn't touched his food. Very unusual. I looked up from my plate to find him staring at me...as if he were a lion and I was the zebra. His nostrils were flared, like he was trying not to show that he was breathing heavily, and his hands were clenched. Something was off and my flight-or-fight instincts kicked in; his pupils flashed and I swore they slitted like a cat's for a second. I put my fork down, getting ready to run if he lost it. Through clenched teeth: "Don't run, it'll only make it worse. Just stay sitting...calmly...and it will pass." He began to breathe deeper and slowly his fists unclenched. I saw blood on his fingernails. And I felt fear.

"What...the hell...was that about?" I asked, afraid to even breathe heavily for fear that he'd jump me or something.

"It happens sometimes. I've been pretty good at controlling it, but lately...we'll talk about it at the meeting tomorrow. Just sometimes," He was still stiff, the shock of whatever had almost taken ahold of him still lingering, the demon just beneath the surface, "...sometimes it's hard to be around you."

So that was it. He finally said it. I knew it, I knew my feelings for him bothered him. I'd never be anything more than a little brother. I could never be desirable as a partner in a relationship; I'd died at sixteen and would forever have a teenager's body, it would be hard for any one to get over. Maybe he was really just uncomfortable with homosexuality...and the constant reminder of my feelings today had made him crack. Probably couldn't even stomach looking at me so his demonic urge to rearrange my face surfaced.

"Is that so? Well, I'll make it really easy for you then." It was difficult to keep the anger and hurt off my face and I'm sure I was unsuccessful at hiding it. At this point I didn't care, I just wanted to get away from him. I got up and I left. I teleported back to my apartment and warded the entrances so I wouldn't be able to feel my neighbors' emotions. Porker meowed for cuddles but I was too upset to pay him any attention. I made it to the bathroom and turned the shower onto hot. I stripped and stepped in, immediately huddling on the floor and clutching my knees to my chest as if I could disappear if I made myself compact enough, finally free to let the tears come in the water's disguise.

...

It was probably pretty obvious that I hadn't slept well last night. First thing I did when I entered the meeting room that morning was head straight for the coffee...and I am not a coffee drinker. I emptied a bucket load of sugar and cream to stomach it, hoping the caffeine would give me a little jump start. I had thrashed all night at the thought of facing Tsuzuki at work today and had contemplated calling in sick...ha! As if Guardians could get sick! But I remembered there was something important to discuss at today's meeting, so I had to be there. But I'd determined this was the last day, I'd ask the chief for a reassignment to another Bureau immediately afterward. I wouldn't be able to face a man who was so repulsed by me, even if I was in love with him. I had to let go so Tsuzuki could be happy. If you really loved someone, you should be able to get over yourself enough to let them go, to let them be happy. It shouldn't hurt this much, right? I could do it; I could leave my friends and start over. Really...I...I could. And more importantly – I would.

My coffee was no longer black but a pleasant creamy brown and I'd probably been standing there staring off, stirring it for the past few minutes when Watari entered and spotted me, sidling up beside me. "Last night, Tsuzuki called-"

"I don't want to talk about it." I turned away and sat down as the chief, Tatsumi, and the Gushoshin brothers filed in, effectively cutting off whatever Watari had been about to say. Last was Tsuzuki. I knew it was him. I didn't have to look up, but I could feel him. He let his presence be felt now; it wasn't like he had anything to hide anymore anyway. His power was warm and felt like a little pleasant buzzing – like Pop-rocks bouncing off my skin. He was probably reigning in a majority of it (he knew how I hated feeling the class A's from my office), but it was just the right tease to my senses. Everyone else's power was a blast to my senses, like a sudden whiff of chlorine, maybe because they didn't know how to reign it in, but his was ironically gentle, soothing, pleasant. Bastard. I could've even fallen for him based on the feel of his power, but no! I wasn't going to. I was going to be transferred anyway. I'd never have to feel the caress of that...addictive...sensation. Damn, now I wanted some Pop-rocks.

Everyone was settled in their chair with coffee or muffin in hand while I had zoned out on the psychic energies of the only level twenty-one (who I so did not want to be in the same room with right now). I kept my eyes glued to the table.

Chief Konoe, our stern yet understanding, boss with gray hair and winkles, sat at the head of the table with a cup of black coffee and started the meeting. "Well, we're all here since we're the close friends of Mr. Tsuzuki. And many of you have recently been informed of a fairly new development of his. Mr. Watari, why don't you take it from here." He said gruffly. Our boss was clearly not a morning person. I sympathized.

Watari shifted some papers in front of him. "I've been studying Tsuzuki since the Kyoto case when we discovered he was part demon." Everyone nodded as we had all been aware or involved in that case. Tsuzuki had had a really hard time with coming to terms with his heritage and he had almost died in Kyoto. "It was so difficult to come by most of the historical manuscripts for his demon anatomy, as most of them were cult artifacts. Many years on and off were spent under cover in underground societies to obtain these...which is why a lot of our discoveries are so recent. Tsuzuki's been undergoing a sort of transformation for the past decade or so. His endocrine test scores are off the charts." Here he passed around some papers for proof, but I wasn't interested in reading them. "We don't really know why but it leads me to hypothesize that the Muraki incident awoke his demon instincts and he's been going through a puberty of sorts."

"As if the first time wasn't bad enough," sniggered the Gushoshin.

"Anyway...well...we discovered that his demon side is...well...more akin to the animal kingdom, especially when it comes to mating instincts. Many animals in the wild go through a 'heat' and take a mate, usually for life." Tsuzuki crossed his arms from where he was standing off to the side. My stomach went cold. "We think it's similar with Tsuzuki...I –," Tsuzuki cleared his throat to interrupt.

"I don't know about all that, but I do know...that everything has been...more intense. Like the smells are unbelievable, I can smell –, well...I can't explain it and I'm not going to go into details right now, but...suffice it to say that I feel...empty, like I'm not complete without...the person I've been craving for," here he looked at me from the shadow of his eyes, which flashed into slits for a split second, and I swear I got a tingle down my spine. Maybe he was saying this apologetically because he certainly couldn't mean....

"From what I've read about hybrid demons, it's pretty imperative that they mate. There have been some cases where the demon did not choose a mate and their powers consumed them. The reason for this being that they must expel some of their power and the way they do this is through having offspring. It's kind of like a fail safe switch, if you will." See, I knew it couldn't be me. Well whoever the lucky woman was I hoped she could contend with his clumsiness, his absentmindedness, his terrible curry, or when he spaced off or was too hard on himself...maybe these were things she'd come to love and accept as I had.

I was taking another generous gulp of my coffee when I almost missed Watari say, "As a side note, I was most intrigued by the numerous stories of male pregnancy in the manuscripts." I almost choked on my coffee; it wasn't like I could die anyway. I had a fairly loud coughing fit and my eyes watered a little as a Gushoshin brother thumped me on the back.

"You okay there, Kurosaki?" asked the floating bird-beast. I nodded, hacking to myself. I could've mistaken it, but there was a little smile on Tatsumi's face. Weirdo. I swear, most of the time he confused me.

"Well...I admit it was a little shocking to read, but it happened quite often when hybrids were most common in the Edo Period." He passed around some photocopies of the old manuscripts and some pages that had old paintings of human-looking beings with horns and markings on their faces, holding what I assumed to be their pregnant mates. "The demon would usually take a friend as his mate as they were the most metaphysically in sync. From what I can tell, the demon's power would cause his male partner to spontaneously grow a womb. Though I can't be sure, some of the texts are too damaged to decipher. But I did locate a good copy of it, unfortunately it's in the archives of a satanic cult. I suppose it's not hugely necessary, but we can never be sure. And, honestly, I would just really like it for my collection. It might have some interesting facts about the spawn of these unions and that's mainly why I'm curious, as we'll probably be having a little version of Tsuzuki running around here soon."

Chief Konoe, sensing a mission, asked, "Is anyone willing to help Watari secure this text?" Tatsumi of course volunteered. I would've given my aid, but I was so hell bent on transferring, and though I wanted Tsuzuki to be happy I wasn't about to help him into the arms of someone else – because, male pregnancy or not, I knew he'd choose a female.

"Don't worry Tsuzuki," said one of the Gushoshin, who had muffin crumbs on his beak, "In the meantime, we'll help you find a mate!"

"Yeah! Maybe we could set up some blind dates or something with some of the co-workers." The little bird-beasts spoke really fast and it was giving me a headache. "Mai in Finance is really cute, oh and so is Gaurdian Asumi! We could have a big party and invite all the eligible women; we'll call it –" and here they paused and looked at one another before they shouted excitedly in unison, "Elima-Mate!"

Tsuzuki chuckled behind his hand and I tried to not let the rich, joyful sound affect me. "I'm thankful for your enthusiasm guys, but I already have my heart set on someone." You could've heard a pin drop it was so quiet. From the corner of my eye I could see Watari trying not to smile. I'd known the man for over twenty years and I knew when he was trying to hide a smile. God! It was probably Watari's sister; he'd introduced her and Tsuzuki at last year's White Day party and as I recall they had hit it off quite nicely. I needed to leave. I needed to get away before I started fuming or crying or both.

Everyone erupted all at once, questioning Tsuzuki who was his heart's desire, but amidst it all one of the Gushoshins asked me if I wanted more coffee. I excused myself, saying I needed to use the restroom, unaware that Tsuzuki's eyes had followed me.

...

The shock of the cold water against my burning face helped me get my composure back. I gripped the white porcelain sink and just took some deep breaths before I could face myself in the mirror. When I did look up, I didn't notice my straw-colored hair in disarray from last night's restlessness, my scared, bloodshot green eyes, or my too pale skin. How could I when all I could notice was the resplendent reflection of Tsuzuki standing behind me?

"You don't have to worry about my feelings burdening you anymore. I'll be asking for a transfer."

"Is that what you think this is about? Me being burdened?" He seemed off. His voice was deeper, straining almost, and he looked stiff as if he were trying to hold it together.

"Obviously. You even said so last night, that you can't stand to be around me," I spat this out bitterly.

"I said it was difficult to be around you –"

"Same thing!"

"No!," he shouted at me, fists clenched. Pupils flashed to slits again. He'd never shouted at me before. I could see him trying to calm himself, but what he said next was stern enough to shut me up. "No. It's not. You didn't let me finish last night and you're still not letting me finish! Ya know, for being such an intelligent person you're really self-depreciating, so much so that you can't even see when someone is trying to tell you they love you!"

I went from being taut as a bow to totally deflating when his words processed. I started shaking from a million emotions – relief, disbelief, bitter-sweet happiness...mostly shock. I saw his eyes soften to that familiar look that he seemed to reserve for me, his fists unclenched. He approached me slowly as if I were a startled animal. Perhaps I was. He had this small little smile that threatened to take his lips and this sad-sweet look in his eyes that I couldn't quite place. I couldn't take my eyes from his. So when he brought one hand up, I almost flinched at the movement. He gently stroked the side of my face with the back of his hand and I let out a shaky breath I didn't know I'd been holding. He said this quietly: "I'm in love with you, Hisoka. I've been wanting to tell you that for a long, long time." He tipped my chin up ever so slightly with his thumb and forefinger and when he leaned down to kiss me it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Butterflies flooded my stomach as he laid the most gentle, loving kisses upon my lips, with featherlight pressure. I was more inclined to respond to these kind of kisses than one sudden passionate kiss where I would forget to reciprocate. And respond I did, with small movements meeting his, our noses brushing, our lips teasing and light. It was probably one of the most beautiful moments of my life, sharing butterfly kisses with Tsuzuki in the Bureau bathroom.

"I've been wanting to hear you say that for a long time, too," I breathed, and felt myself fight back tears of joy. It was difficult, but I refused to cry at this. Tsuzuki's face broke into one of his gleaming smiles and took my breath away again, this time with possessive kisses, lips firmly pressed against mine, one hand bunched in my hair, the other resting on my hip. I felt myself rise on my tip-toes to receive these kisses with enthusiasm, feeling his breath upon my cheek. His ardor slowed to a gentle pace again and we broke apart reluctantly.

He smiled and caressed my face again. "I admit I imagined confessing in a more tasteful setting, such as last night, but I guess anywhere's a good place to tell someone you love them." I couldn't agree more.

I couldn't help but chuckle, "Sorry about last night, I thought you were saying you were....Well, it doesn't matter now anyways."

"Last night I said I wanted you to know some things before we talked about this. I wanted you to know more about what my demon urges have been doing to me before anything happened. So you would know what you were getting into. But I thought it would've been more obvious that I love you, Kurosaki! We've only been skirting around the issue for twenty years!" I playfully hit his arm and he pulled me in close for a hug, one that I melted into with the fragrance of his subtle cologne and his warm power enveloping me. I felt him nuzzle into my neck and seductively run his nose along my skin, scenting me as well. "When I said it's been difficult to be around you, it's because of your smell, Hisoka."

"Huh?" I pulled away to look him in the eyes.

"My demon side...lately I can smell every tiny fluctuation in emotions; happiness, sadness...nervousness...arousal. The scent of your fear and your arousal has been driving me crazy, Hisoka. I've been having dreams...dreams of...taking you, mating with you, making you mine," his voice dropped and ended on a otherworldly growl that made me quiver as he pushed me gently back against the sink, our bodies pressed together, and the butterflies shifted from my stomach to my loins and I could feel his power rumble around us with his own arousal. His voice was doing things to me, making me hot and aching, and I suspected it was some kind of demon pheromone that caused me to be even more susceptible to his advances. He nuzzled against my neck, up to my ear and then he whispered something that made me breathe hotly: "Mate with me, Hisoka."

To be continued...

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