AN: I know I am due a few chapters on Cute Meet, but since I am busy with a lot of work this week and I usually need to rewatch a few episodes to get back into CM mode so I can't do that right now. I am able to write this somewhat on the go, thankfully.

to js: I went with what I know of the bureaucratic academic world in the EU. Uploading the wrong file can be a serious matter here. If one notices it right away then of course it can be fixed but here the problem here was that she went on a long lunch. It's not public procurement/regular competitive bidding but rather research grant applications which in my experience work a little differently. But anyways… I needed some conflict for Rory at work. It's a catalyst.

Chapter 38

November 9th, 2022, Cambridge, MA

"So...What did she say?" Giselle asked anxiously, seeing Rory return from her meeting with the chair of the English department.

Rory hadn't slept too well during the night and had been a nervous wreck this morning, but just as both Angie and Logan had assured - Logan in a text this morning wishing her luck, which had meant more to her than he probably realized - now she did feel relieved. Not just but still… but better than she had before.

"Huh…," Rory exhaled deeply and sank into her office chair.

"I don't see you beginning to pack up your boxes, so that must be a good thing, right?" Giselle inquired hopefully.

"Not directly, no," Rory replied, pushing herself more upright in her chair. She was pretty sure there were matters with the severance pay which was university policy that they weren't too eager to pay and a shortage of research assistants with one of them on maternity leave that were a couple of contributing reasons why her contract was still intact. She'd been cautioned to consider if her work really was her priority as she'd expecetd and been forced to listen to the cold hard facts about how several people might be out of their paycheck next fall semester since that grant didn't go through. It was a sucky situation, and she felt deeply guilty, knowing she'd need to look all of these people in the eye at their weekly staff meetings who knew it had been her mistake. It was more embarrassing than anything really.

"But why so sad then?" Giselle asked. "I know Josie and Carlos will be hard to deal with but, I mean…. There'll be other projects..," she added, referring to the two who were most disappointed in Rory right now with their livelihood at stake. Some people's paycheck came straight out of grants without university input.

"Well, I doubt I will be put in charge of any projects in a while… no more than formatting, reference lists and junior assistant tasks is my guess," Rory explained, having not been said that directly to, but she'd gotten a feeling. She felt small, humiliated, but in a way like she deserved it.

"Oh, that does suck," Giselle chimed naively, not really thinking too much further from her own desk. She was nice to work with, funny, but was never going to be bosom-buddies with Rory.

Giselle got back to work, leaving Rory alone with her thoughts. She'd gotten over her little break-down, for sure, and while the guilt and embarrassment would likely carry on for a while, it no longer seemed like the end of the world. The problem was, however, she was now feeling how she felt when she'd first started the job.

July 21st, 2018, Nantucket, MA

A pleasant ocean breeze nearly blew Rory's wrap dress open, having no free hands to hold her hem with her one-year-old on her hip and the other hand holding onto her sun hat, as they made their way across the backyard of the Sandcastle towards the dinner table. She turned her back towards the wind, managing more or less gracefully.

God, this place was beautiful.

Em was dressed adorably in a mauve onesie Rory's grandmother had bought her, making her almost look like she'd walked off the screen of some old photograph. The baby girl was happy and adorable, cheeks slightly pinkish from the sun and wind - but not too much.

It had been a wonderful week and a half and that even with Lorelai and Luke staying across the street for the past few days and dining over at the Sandcastle on most evenings where the two were also staying. In this setting - things were cordial. It was like seeing relatives who lived far away, catching up but never really going too deep. And naturally, Rory had Em, who's cuteness and activities provided more than enough topics for discussion to hide behind if things got too personal.

"There you two are! Berta made the most wonderful grilled chicken salad. The dressing is to die for," Emily exclaimed, pulling out Em's baby high chair up for her on the back porch. The back porch had become one of Rory's favorite places - pleasantly shaded from the sun and winds, it's gorgeous white wooden furniture prodiving the perfect spot to read and watch her daughter nap in her stroller by her side as she had on most days.

"Good, I'm starving," Rory replied, and placed Em in her chair.

"And you must be too, Emma," Emily said, gently touching Em's cute little button nose. Grandma was a like a different preson around her great-granddaughter. "I asked Berta to make you your very own salad," she added to the little girl. Em ate most things if they were sort of deconstructed versions of the real dish and without any strong-tasting dressings.

Rory poured herself a large glass of iced tea, feeling parched. The day had been a hot one but she really did appreciate her grandmothers invite to fly over here for a chance of scenery. This was the closest to a holiday she had been on in a year, considering she didn't quite feel ready to take an actual holiday with Em just by herself.

"Your mother and Luke are coming in a minute," Emily announced.

"Oh," Rory reflected, having hoped not to see that much of them. Seeing Luke was nice, but there was still that awkwardness between them too. Like he wasn't supposed to get all buddy-buddy with her, just like that one time when Rory had dropped out from Yale and he'd gotten all awkward about talking to her alone without her mother's approval.

"Your mother and you really ought to work something out. I hate to see you two like this…," Emily replied, sensing her reluctance.

It was kind of funny hearing this from her, considering Emily had had issues with Lorelai throughout her own daughters life.

"Honestly… I actually think it's better like this. Besides, I prefer if Em didn't see or hear us arguing," Rory replied, having convinced herself by now that it was indeed better for her own wellbeing, though she couldn't deny that during the past year, there had been a number of times she'd missed her mommy when she'd needed advice with the baby or that one time she'd had mastitis. But somehow she'd gotten through those moments too.

Emily didn't have much chance to continue this discussion, a discussion she every now and again had tried to touch upon with her, since Lorelai's voice could already coming towards them through the living room.

Berta was right behind them, carrying a tray with their salads, announcing in some by-now almost understandable mumble how fresh potatoes and fish were up next.

About half-way through their meal, Rory and Emily taking turns making sure Em wasn't making a too big of a mess as successfully as one might expect with a one-year-old, when Lorelai popped the question that she'd been mulling over for a few days now.

"So, mom mentioned you were heading back in a few days," Lorelai inquired.

"We are. I'm starting at a new job," Rory shared, desperately hoping she wouldn't be giving her her opinion on the topic. But she had sort of anticipated having to talk a little about the job.

"Oh yeah? That must be exciting," Lorelai replied, genuinely trying to engage.

Rory knew she was trying, but she just wasn't ready for it, feeling like all the things she'd said had not been undone by anything since, she wasn't sure they could be undone. Rory was happy with herself more than she had been in years and felt like this rift was somehow necessary for her to grow.

"It is very exciting," Emily commented. "Tell them where," she urged Rory to go into some more detail.

Rory wiped Em's chin clean, delaying her response for a moment. This part was something she was hesitant about. She didn't want Lorelai to think she'd chosen Harvard because of her, because of all the history they had with the place. She knew her mother had had opinions about her staying home with the baby for this long without so much as taking a piece to write for the Stars Hollow Gazette and she could just imagine her mother wanting to pat her on the shoulder for even getting a job. She always knew she was going to return to work, it was just the "about time" she didn't want to hear.

"I'm going to work at the English Department at Harvard," Rory spit out with a deep exhale. She was kind of proud of the place, she had to admit.

"Wow, congratulations," Luke commented and took a sip of his light beer.

"Yeah, congrats," Lorelai responded and was just about to say something more and Rory could already sense the gears in her mother's head turn. "I didn't realize they let people teach without a Master's degree" or "You finally went for that PhD like I always told you to, didn't you?" - Rory imagined her asking.

"It's a RA position. Nothing flashy, but I can start part time and I've always loved editing and things like that, so it seemed like a good place to start," Rory explained quickly, wanting to make things clear.

"What's an RA?" Luke inquired.

"A research assistant," Rory explained.

"So what is it, um… that one does at a position like that?" Luke pondered.

"Assists researchers I presume?" Lorelai teased, but in a friendly way.

"Mostly yeah," Rory replied more seriously. "In that department it involves a lot of work with texts, editing, formatting… some research," Rory specified.

Despite the several discussions with Otis that she'd had, convincing herself to apply for this type of position, hadn't come easily. She'd also tried for a few writer's positions and publishing houses, but even with Jess' letter of recommendation she hadn't quite qualified for an editor's position, missing either a master's degree or recent editing experience. Freelance background was often seen as flaky - it seemed. And actually taking the position, deep down still having to fight herself for thinking she was somehow better than that, hadn't been any easier. It felt like a position a graduate student would take, an entry level position… She knew her thinking was flawed but eventually she'd convinced herself to give it a try. Mostly she hid behind the part time clause - Em was just starting with a nanny and she didn't want the contrast to be too sharp. She kept repeating to herself how she'd enjoyed the academic environment, how she enjoyed intelligent discussions and how sometimes boring but mentally challenging assignments were almost as comforting to her as crafts were to Paris. Despite her earlier hesitance, she was feeling better about the decision each day and she didn't want her mother's opinion to undo her progress.

"Who's going to look after Em while you're at work? Or is she going to daycare?" Lorelai asked.

"There's this nanny who she already knows a little and she'll start at a nearby nursery part time come fall," Rory explained.

"You didn't go to a preschool until you were 2, you know," Lorelai began, unable to stop herself, and Rory just felt her blood pressure rise. Yes, she'd entertained herself in the kitchen and storage rooms of the Independence Inn, possibly getting her hands on all kinds of things, dangers, kids weren't really supposed to be subjected to, until she was 2. Like that was the aim? - Rory thought sarcastically.

She was saved by a pungent smell coming from Em's diaper, allowing her a swift exit from the conversation. The little thing that she'd never realized she might appreciate this much was, however, Emily's cautioning glance aimed towards her mother - at least she wasn't imagining the criticism.

"What?" Rory heard her mother ask her grandmother behind her as she headed inside.

November 9th, 2022, Boston, MA

"When I was growing up me and my sister used to spend summers in Martha's vineyard or in some years in Maine. We were boating and fishing and waterskiing…," Logan replied to Em's question about where he'd gone for holidays growing up as he helped her out of his car, having picked her up from soccer and taken her for burgers. The question had been rather advanced but had just come up in relation to the soon upcoming Thanksgiving when Em was going to Nantucket with her mother, to the place where she also often spent her summer holidays.

Logan, of course, knew Thanksgiving was going to involve a lot more than just food this time, both for him and Rory, but he was mostly just focused on having things to talk about with his daughter. His daughter - that just didn't get old.

"Can I go waterskiing?" Em asked.

"Um… sometime, yeah," Logan replied somewhat unsurely. He didn't know if Rory would be okay with it but since he knew there were fairly safe options of practicing it without actually getting out to the ocean straight away, he figured Rory might be persuaded.

"And I wanna try fishing too," Em announced.

"Are you sure you're your mother's daughter?" Logan chuckled, not quite believing his ears. The girl had definitely gotten a number of her interests from Christopher, or if that even was possible, solely from her genetic makeup - from him.

"Yes, I am! We have the same eyes," Em replied, having taken his joke a little too seriously, causing Logan to laugh some more.

"You do, I know…," Logan replied, stroking casually over the girl's hat, as they walked up to the stairs of Christopher's townhouse.. He was becoming more and more comfortable around her physically too. The first time he'd actually asked her if that was okay, having overthought it.

Em rang the doorbell herself, having said one time earlier how she'd picked out the melody.

"Hey," Rory appeared on the doorway in her usual leggings and t-shirt outfit, her stomach having some flour stains on it and at closer look, also on her cheek.

"Hey," Logan replied smilingly.

Em hugged her hips and slipped in, waving him goodbye.

"You're baking?" Logan asked, crooking his eyebrow.

"Um, yeah… well just cookies…. Dessert therapy continues," she admitted, knowing Logan was probably hoping for an update.

"The meeting didn't go well?" Logan asked.

"So and so..," Rory shrugged. "I mean if you're not in a hurry, you could come in and have cookies with us? It's not something I can convey it in short with you standing awakwardly out there…," Rory added, truly feeling like she wanted to have Logan around to talk about this. Her father had been on a business trip and while she knew she had friends - Angie, Giselle and Otis… - she could just feel how talking to Logan about this - just felt different. More comforting somehow.