47. Confusion II

Then Harry told Granger everything. About the soul shard, about the pain he experienced once a day when the soul shard got agitated, about how they went about stopping that, about the mind bridge and the calm of Harry's Breaks. Everything that had to do with the Horcrux and its consequences. But he didn't touch on the fact that today the soul shard had gotten agitated long before it should have. It still wasn't the right time for that, as Harry still couldn't move away from Voldemort.

Granger listened and asked just a few questions. Surprisingly she didn't try to insist that there must be something that could be done to get the soul shard out of Harry. Maybe she realised that Voldemort would have tried it if he thought it at all possible. A living, walking and talking Horcrux really wasn't the best idea. Nagini was slightly different as she was completely and utterly devoted to Voldemort, and still, if he hadn't been insane when he made her a Horcrux, he would never have tried it. She was still a living being that could move around on her own.

"It's … easier now …" Harry said hesitantly. "Having to spend hours each day in such close proximity with Voldemort. I still feel trapped and cornered sometimes, and on bad days … on bad days I'm very far from nice or easy to deal with, but on the whole, it's better. Getting to know each other helped, the mind bridge helped a lot too, and the Breaks has proven to me that it's possible to relax … even in that situation, if I only will let myself do it."

Granger nodded slowly before she nipped at her third glass of whisky. "It sounds boring," she said after a while, completely surprising Voldemort. He hadn't expected that response at all. "Having to spend two hours or so every day just staring into the air. If you manage to find something to talk about, and want to talk, then that will be better, I guess, but still …" She frowned. "If you can sit up-right like you do now, why not read? Time will go faster then, and there will be less time to mull over the situation while you can't go anywhere or do anything about it. Sounds healthier all around."

"We … haven't actually tried before …" Harry admitted. "This is the first time we are sitting up-right."

"Maybe it's worth a try, the next time the close proximity is less … desirable than it seems right at this moment? Do your own thing, focus on something else, get lost in a book and let everything else pass you by. Or, you could read together. We liked to do that sometimes, it's nice."

Voldemort would have been embarrassed by how much time it had taken him to understand what Granger was doing, if either of them had paid him any attention. Granger had heard Harry's sadness and desperation over a situation he could not change. And instead of trying to find a way out of the situation that there was no way out of, she came up with ideas of how to make it better and easier to deal with. The idea had merit too, or so Voldemort believed. Harry had already made it clear that he responded well to distractions, at least in some difficult situations.

"On some hard days Voldemort has talked, just talked, to distract me. That helped," Harry replied.

"There you go. Something to try to make it easier. Or send me a Patronus and I can come talk with you, or banter, or discuss or read for you. I won't mind, if neither of you don't. If it's keeping you safe, alive and without pain, I'm more than willing to give it a try. To give anything a try, really." She emptied her glass.

"Agreed," Voldemort said, so Harry would know that he approved of the idea, and especially the sentiment. If it kept Harry safe, alive and without pain, if it helped him in any way, he would welcome Granger. Both her input and her presence.

Granger met his gaze and nodded to him. They might be prickly towards each other. They might not see eye to eye in a lot of things. But in this they agreed completely. Harry didn't deserve to suffer, and both of them would work, even together, to make sure he suffered as little as possible.

"I do not have a Patronus to send," Voldemort said, "and Harry might not be able to under such circumstances. May I send a message with a house elf, if necessary?"

"Yes, do that. And another thing, if you approximately know when this happens each day, bar any surprises … don't fucking wait for the pain to start! I mean seriously!" She gave them both an exasperated look. "If you settle yourself down to read or cuddle or whatnot before there is any burning need and pain, it will take away a lot of the force in the situation. If you do that, Harry won't have to truly think about the fact that it is happening. That way, it will feel more like a voluntary quiet moment, than something he is pushed into by outside forces."

"That sounds … not wrong," Harry admitted. "At least not now, when we have reached a place where we are on friendly terms. And it sounds like something I really should have thought of."

"You have both been stuck in the middle of this situation for about half a year. I, on the other hand, have an outsider's view on the whole thing," she said magnanimously. "Now, I will go and find Mrs. Malfoy to get her to give me access to apparate through the wards, as I don't have a Floo connection." Granger got their glasses, put them all away and sauntered out of the room.

They were silent for a while before Harry slowly raised a hand away from Voldemort.

"I think … I think it's alright now. And I'm … I'm not ready to think about this at all, not right now. It's freaking me out, just the thought that this can happen, that this may happen at any time …" He shuddered and made a small sound. Voldemort thought he actually gagged in fear at the thought.

"Then do not think about it right now. It will keep. Let us wash up and go and sit down for dinner. It is long past dinner time."

They did and Granger found them less than fifteen minutes later in the dining room. She joined them at a welcoming gesture from Harry and the three of them ate in relative silence. After dinner Granger and Harry left for the library and Voldemort didn't see them again for about an hour when Granger dragged Harry into his private study. The witch was as brash as any Gryffindor he had ever met, but she had the power and knowledge to back it up, just like Harry, so it wasn't as galling as it easily could have been.

Harry sat down on a sofa on the other side of the room while Granger came to stand in front of Voldemort's desk. Harry stared into the air as if he wasn't really there, and Granger stared right at Voldemort.

"You know he is a shapechanger," Granger stated, abruptly.

Voldemort blinked and turned his gaze from Granger to Harry. "Harry?"

Harry waved a hand. "I'm just here so Hermi doesn't feel that she is going behind my back by talking to you."

"Would you like her to talk to me?" Voldemort asked, confused yet again.

"In this case, what I want is irrelevant."

"I do not concur," Voldemort said sharply.

"Also irrelevant, I'm afraid." He gave a small snort. "Hermi is going to talk to you, nonetheless. Most likely it's important, or she wouldn't have insisted, so it would be good if you listened." Finally, Harry turned his head and looked at him. "Please?"

"Very well." Voldemort focused on the witch again. She had a small, satisfied smile on her lips, it even reached her eye, which didn't make Voldemort any less confused. He wondered if this would be a constant feeling when around these two together.

"Yes, I know Harry is a shapechanger. He told me, showed me, after the most recent Battle of Hogsmeade."

Granger nodded once. "You know one of his preferred forms is a Naga?"

"Yes," he answered shortly, because while it hadn't been stated outright, he had understood that fact from what Harry had said.

"You know that he is a submissive Naga?"

"Yes."

"And that as a submissive Naga he can get pregnant without taking any potion to make it possible, even if he is male?"

"Yes, all Naga can get pregnant." He thought he knew where she was going with this now. Not that he was going to help her get there.

She nodded. "You still have that other shape, the one you have had the past decade? The more serpentine one?"

"Yes, I do."

"The chances that you can get him pregnant when he is a Naga is a great deal higher, because of that."

"I have come to the same conclusion."

"Good." She scrutinised him. "You have already mated, haven't you? Very recently. Or at least marked each other as mates."

"Harry?" Voldemort asked again, because it truly wasn't his place to talk about this with Harry's closest friend.

"I'm still not allowed to be a part of the conversation," Harry said mildly, deceptively so, Voldemort thought.

"I strongly disagree."

"She wouldn't talk about this with you if she wasn't worried for my wellbeing, and wanted to ensure it, which is the only reason I'm not in a serious row with her right about now."

"So, should I continue the conversation?"

"If you don't mind, but it's up to you."

Voldemort looked at Granger again, Harry's words about his own wellbeing playing in his mind. No one knew Harry as Granger did, and if she feared he might be at risk, Voldemort would spare the time and the patience for this conversation.

"I assume that we marked each other as mates, as recently as last night. We decided against any kind of penetration at that point, so I presume that means that we are not fully mated."

And why did that admission make him feel uncomfortable? Harry was his, they had agreed, his husband and his mate, fully mated or not. Harry was his.

"Good," Granger said with vehement feeling. "Then I was right. Harry can move differently for a while after he has been in another shape. Often it happens if he spends a lot of time in a shape, but it can also happen if he immerses himself deeper into that shape and its instincts than he normally does. Claiming a mate, and being claimed, would definitely count. I saw the bite mark on Harry earlier, and combined with his slinky movements, I made a deduction."

So, the two of them hadn't talked at all about this before Granger came to confront Voldemort. He wasn't certain he liked that, even if Harry was in the room and in theory could object to anything that was said if he wanted.

"About penetration when Harry is a Naga; don't fucking do it. No matter how tempting it can be. I have read enough about Nagas and their mating habits to know that it can be exceedingly hard to hold back, but don't do it, not yet. Not before you can be certain that there is no chance in Hades to get Harry pregnant." Granger met his eyes; her brown eye was as hard as diamond. "If he gets pregnant, he will kill himself faster than you can say 'Fiendfyre', so I'm trusting you with his life," she almost hissed, leaning in towards him over his desk. "Do not forget that, ever."

Even if Voldemort hadn't come to a similar, if not as dark and extreme, conclusion that morning, he would have gotten a clue now.

He nodded stiffly at Granger, refusing to move away from the distrust and the animosity that burned in her eye for that one moment.

"I will not forget that," he assured her. Assured them both.

On the opposite side of the room, Harry was staring hard enough at the wall that it should crumble under the stare. But still, he hadn't objected, or as much as twitched.

"Thanks. I will get my arse to Greece first thing in the morning and see if I can't drag some help, or at least some answers, out of the patently unhelpful Naga-clan that lives there."

Voldemort noted that it sounded very much like she already had spoken to them at some point. He also knew, unless that was one time Harry had managed to lie to him, that Harry hadn't spoken to the Naga-clan, hadn't spoken to any Naga at any point. Which was a strange way to go about it. Why hadn't Harry, as the sometimes Naga, made contact with the clan?

"You believe they know something that might help in this situation?" Voldemort asked.

"I think they should have an inkling about how to prevent a Naga from getting pregnant when they don't want to, and still have a healthy sex life. And really, that's all we can hope for at this time."

Voldemort nodded and watched as she turned around and went to Harry. She bent down and kissed his hair. Whatever general aversion Harry had about physical closeness, it didn't include Granger, at all. Even if Voldemort felt his possessiveness rise up like a tidal wave at the sight, Harry was his, his, his, he was also strangely grateful for that fact. He didn't want to look at the feeling or the reason for it, so he pushed it away.

"You are such a meddling bitch sometimes; do you know that?" Harry said in a low voice.

"Yup," the witch said, completely unrepentant.

He reached up to hug her. "I love you. Don't be a stranger. And try not to kill any of the infuriating Nagas."

She hugged him back so hard that he wheezed. "I love you too, so much. And don't worry, I won't kill anyone. Just pull on some tails."

Harry snorted and kissed her cheek before releasing her.

Granger turned towards Voldemort again while she walked out of the room.

"You are the dominant, so behave!" she chided, as if he didn't already know.

He couldn't really remember ever being chided quite like that, not without him making the repercussions dire for the culprit … No, actually, he couldn't remember it happening at all.

She closed the door quietly behind her and suddenly she was gone.

All the energy and noise. All the movement and latent magic. Gone.

It was strange, Voldemort thought while watching Harry sitting on the sofa on the other side of the room. He hadn't noticed how much the witch filled the room, before she went away. He truly hoped she didn't stay away too long, because he could honestly say that he hadn't seen or heard Harry so carefree and happy during their months together. It was very obvious that she was good for him. Even if Voldemort found her … confusing.

There was only one thing he knew with absolute certainty about the witch; she was completely and utterly devoted to Harry and would do anything and everything for him. That one truth would have to be enough, for now.

Harry didn't move or speak, and Voldemort decided to let him to his own thoughts for the moment, while he went back to his work. He had to figure out how to deal with the position of Ministry Leader. Either he would let Zabini keep the position for a while longer, or he really had to go through the few viable options that he had. Zabini had agreed to keep the position for as long as necessary, as long as he had the possibility to travel as a private person now and again. The only reason Voldemort was inclined to agree to his request, was that he knew Zabini was looking for a life partner and that he would prefer a European to a British partner. More because he either had fought against all his options in Britain - the Light faction - or already knew them, and most likely had slept with them, and found them wanting - the Dark faction - than anything else.

If he put the whole situation with the Ministry Leader aside for a while, he could give more attention to the rebuilding of Hogwarts and a general educational system, which should begin this spring. The new educational system would be bigger and better than the old one. For one, the education and socialisation of their children would begin when they were five years old, with the option for a kindergarten even before that. This way both parents could work, if they wanted. Merlin knew they needed the workers.

Hogwarts Castle would be reconstructed as well as they could make it, even if he knew it would never be the same. The life in the castle would never be the same either, but that would be on purpose. There would be more subjects to choose from, and more extra-curricular activities too. The teachers would have to actually be educated to do their job and there would be more of them. The House system would be massively remodelled, if not completely abolished. And only the sixth and seventh years would have the option to actually live fulltime in the castle, at least during the week. He was still contemplating whether to send them home in the weekends or give them the option to stay during the weekends. Everyone younger would go home to their families every single evening, and return in the morning.

Astoria had found a non-magical scientific journal, most likely with help from one of her halfblood or Muggleborn friends or acquaintances, with an extensive article about the dangers of boarding schools on the minds and education of young children. Voldemort might not think much of Muggles, non-magicals, but he knew that their science was leap and bounds ahead of their own. This especially went for their science in humanity and psychology. He would be a fool to disregard it.

It seemed he would let Zabini hold the title and the responsibility of Ministry Leader for some time. Voldemort's efforts were better spent elsewhere.

It took him several long moments, but in the end, he noticed Harry standing in front of his desk and he looked up at his husband.

"Do you have a moment?" Harry asked.

"Of course." Voldemort got up and rounded his desk, but before he could sit down in one of the chairs in front of the desk, Harry stepped closer and slowly, cautiously, leaned towards him.

Voldemort was filled with silent surprise as he couldn't remember a single time that Harry, as a human, had initiated physical contact that wasn't strictly necessary in some way or another, or that hadn't had to do with sex, but he gently put his arms around his husband. Harry stepped a bit closer, so he actually touched him, chest to chest, and he rested his head against Voldemort's shoulder. Voldemort's surprise didn't lessen as he could feel Harry relax against him. His own body almost took on a life on its own, refusing to let this moment get ruined, and stroked Harry's back in slow movements with one hand, while keeping him close with his other arm around Harry's waist. He had to remind himself to breathe normally.

"Hermi was right, and I had forgotten. I had forgotten to tell you about it too, which is worse, so … Yeah." Harry swallowed audibly. Voldemort waited, because so far Harry hadn't made any sense. "Hermi mentioned that she can see it if I have spent time in another shape, and she is often able to guess the shape too, just from how I move. We call it bleed-over, from one shape to another. It's always from an animal, or being, most often Naga, to this shape, not the other way around. It's seldom anything substantial, mostly just how I move, maybe what I want to do or eat that day, sometimes feelings that are a bit out of sync with myself and the situation. Nothing dangerous, nothing disturbing, at least if you know about it. It has never lasted more than 48 hours, to my knowledge.

"As I said, I had forgotten, and looking back at today I can see that it has had some influence on me. I was a bit more clingy and cuddly than I usually am, when you helped me with the soul shard, and a bit more willing to accept your touch, too. Nagas are a very … affectionate people, if what I myself feel holds true for everyone. What is new is … I think you experienced some bleed-over, too. Maybe I gave off pheromones, because of my own bleed-over, that you reacted to without noticing. As I understand it, you actually function the same, no matter your shape? So, if your more serpentine self would have reacted, then that reaction would occur even in the shape you now hold?"

"I assume so, yes," Voldemort said.

Harry swallowed. "If you think about it, would you say that you might have been a bit more … affectionate towards me, than you usually would have been, and maybe just a tad more possessive, too? Not that I minded, or do mind it now, because, well, that's how the bleed-over works. I was, and am, happy with it. But you didn't know about it, and I didn't warn you. So, yeah. Sorry about that, if it, if I, made you uncomfortable at any point."

Voldemort thought about it. He worked through his dealings with Harry during the day and he noticed the extra affection and possessiveness that Harry had mentioned. He had actually noticed the extra possessiveness while they spoke to Granger in the duelling room. He also noted how very good, how very right, it felt to hold Harry, right at that moment.

"I do see your point, and I agree. It created no difficulty for me, as far as I can discern, not with you and not with anyone else. I have no trouble with the notion, or with it happening again."

Harry gave a small sigh. "Oh, good. I didn't like the thought that I might have changed something about you without your knowledge and against your will, even just for a few hours." He turned his head and kissed Voldemort's throat. Voldemort put a hand gently against Harry's neck and felt Harry lean even further into him, felt him go partly slack in his grip.

"Harry, this, right now, is also a consequence of the bleed-over, is it not?" Voldemort asked in a low voice, even if he didn't actually want to point it out in case Harry hadn't realised it and would back away, but that was exactly the reason that he had to say something.

"Yes, probably," Harry whispered, but didn't move away, much to Voldemort's relief. "I wanted to, and I … I gave in, even knowing that it's a bleed-over. I thought it would feel nice, and it does. Should I … should I move?" His voice was soft and plaintive.

For one short instant Voldemort could almost see Harry in his Naga shape, looking at him with big, glowing green eyes, vulnerable, begging not to be turned away, and this time Voldemort easily recognised that something was a bit off. Both in Harry and in himself, but as neither of them actually minded he saw no reason to baulk.

"No, please do not move," Voldemort said quietly and brushed his thumb up and down the side of Harry's neck and Harry gave a small shudder and tried to hide a moan against Voldemort's throat. It didn't work very well. Probably no better than the satisfied smile Voldemort attempted to conceal against Harry's temple, when hearing that moan.

"I know there is a good chance that the soul shard won't act up any more today," Harry muttered against his skin, "for some reason or another that I'm still not ready to think about. But would you mind terribly spending some time in bed with me, skin against skin, just to cuddle? Just to be certain that … that it won't happen again today?"

"I would not mind that at all, Harry," Voldemort answered.

And if he felt a little more eager, a little more elated, and a little more possessive at the thought than he ordinarily would, he had no difficulty with that.

A/N:

Hermi makes everything a bit better, a bit easier! Just you wait and see! =D

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