17. Pain and Anger

Baghra always gave the summoning lessons in her own quarters, a set of rather dark rooms, but drier and a lot more comfortable than the Apparat's horrible cell. At first Katya had thought all Grisha trained with the old lady, but later she learned only the most promising and powerful would get that honor – another reason for the others' jealousy, she surmised.

The woman was a strict teacher, so as usual Katya felt a twinge of nervousness when she entered, but it was also a relief to get away from the other Grisha. Their whispers and rude remarks behind her back were really becoming tiresome.

Baghra looked up and frowned. "Oh, it's you. Sit." She indicated the wooden chair opposite to her own.

"I'm sorry I've missed my lessons lately," Katya replied, obediently seating herself. "I'm not sure whether he told you, but the general decided to–"

"–teach you in private. Yes I heard." Her voice was disapproving.

"Oh. Then–"

"Enough chit chat. Begin!"

Katya nodded. A couple of candles burned in a corner, and using them for ignition she summoned a small flame between her palms, gradually making it grow in size. Summoning was harder without Aleksander's amplifying touch, but she was still rather proud over its intensity and radiating heat.

"That's still the best you can do?"

"It's not bad," Katya objected. "I think–"

Whack! Without warning, the old woman's cane had struck her fingers. "Don't think. Practice instead. Again!"

"Ow! Why did you do that?"

"So you'll learn, and make some progress at last. Now, proceed!"

Biting down her pain, Katya produced a new fireball. This one was as large as a human head, burning hotly with a bluish center. "Better?" she panted between clenched teeth.

"Better, but still far from the heat you would need to summon a sun."

"All you ever do is complain." Katya's voice was distorted from the effort to sustain the ball.

"If you want praise, then prove that you deserve it!" Baghra's cane hit her forearm with a dull whump. Despite her thick kefta, it smarted enough to make her lose control over the flame, sending a spray of sparks cascading to the floor.

"Focus!" yelled Baghra, using her arm to smother a flame that had erupted on her chair. Black burn marks were left on both the wood and the fabric. "Now look at what you did!" She swung her cane again, but this time Katya quickly put her hands behind her back, evading another lash.

"Think you were clever now?" The old woman's eyes narrowed threateningly. "You just made things a lot worse for yourself. Hold out your hands."

Katya tried to control her anger. Where did this new violent treatment come from? She was getting beaten like an errant child for no reason.

She contemplated ignoring the hag and just leaving, but then she would disobey Aleksander; he had sent her here, saying she must get stronger to be able to help him on their journey. As humiliating as this punishment was, she had to take it – for him.

Bracing herself, she put her hands up.

"You made the right decision." Baghra's voice became surprisingly soft, as if she had heard Katya's inner conflict. "Don't hide from the pain – embrace it." Her cane came down with a sharp crack.

Stubbornly meeting the old woman's gaze, Katya forced herself to remain steady and not make a sound.

"Good. Good! Use the anger, savor it!" A new whack caused a line of agony to flare up across Katya's fingers. They had become bright crimson.

When the woman lashed her a third time, it took almost all Katya's willpower not to flinch. Tears pricked in the corner of her eyes. "I don't have to take this," she rasped.

"Correct. You don't." Crack! "But you chose to, because you know you need to improve." Whack!

Katya could not hold back a whimper. Her hands burned almost hotter than the fire before. "I'll improve when Aleks– General Kirigan finds me an amplifier."

"An amplifier? That's the lazy way. Trust Aleksander to put such stupid ideas in your pretty head."

The scornful way she said his name made Katya snap at last, and she tore her hands back. "General Kirigan is your superior too. Don't you dare question his judgement!"

"Superior? Oh sweet girl, if only you knew," sneered Baghra. "And get rid of that castle in the air. He'll never give something as valuable as an amplifier to a simple villager, with just slightly above normal powers."

Fuming over the insult, Katya could not remain silent. "He will too! The journey is planned already. That's why he sent me back here to train with you, or I would never have come." She fought to contain her ire and not cause the horrible woman to burst into flame.

"You're lying." Despite her words, there was doubt in Baghra's voice.

"Ask him yourself, if you don't believe me!"

"I will. Stay here." The woman promptly pulled a black, velvet curtain aside, and exposed a hidden door. With a gradually waning staccato from her heels, she hurried away through the dark passage that had appeared.

Sitting down again, Katya cradled her throbbing hands while trying to calm her stormy emotions. What was the hag trying to achieve? Was it really true that pain and anger would improve Katya's summoning skill, or did the other just have a bad day, taking out some of her annoyance on her pupil?

She slightly regretted losing her temper and spilling the secret about the purpose of the upcoming journey, but she just couldn't stand being taunted like that – and Aleksander being ridiculed as well. She was certain he could handle Baghra and make sure she didn't tattle.

oOo

It did not take long until Baghra returned, beet red and almost livid with rage. "This is madness," she hissed. "Equipping you with such a strong amplifier is just a way for him to create a sharper weapon. He's got you wrapped around his finger, a loyal servant who'd do anything he says, no matter how evil."

"So what? I care about him," Katya replied sullenly.

"Care? Ha! He's using you, can't you see that? I thought he planned to dissolve the Shadow Fold, and needed a Sun Summoner for that – but apparently I was wrong. When were you planning to tell me he's plotting to expand that foulness?"

"It's for our safety. To protect our kind."

"Protect us? We're Grisha. It's the Ravkan people that need protection if he succeeds in his mad schemes. He wants to rule the world – to bend it to his will, and become a lord of darkness."

"That's not true! He's a warm and caring person. You just don't know him!"

"I don't know Aleksander?" She laughed; a mirthless bark. "Oh, the irony. When you were born, I had already known him for centuries." She took a step closer, and to Katya's shock she noticed the other was summoning a compact darkness around them.

"Who are you?" she whispered, already knowing the answer.

"I'm Ilya Morozova's eldest daughter. I dare say I know better than anybody what my son is capable of."

A/N:

Sorry about the slightly violent chapter, but it's inspired by Baghra's behavior in the show, so blame those creators lol.