First mate's log:

September 1, 1965

Yesterday Peter Brady asked if I think his Dad will ever get married again. I was surprised by the question, by the person asking it, and by him asking me. I don't know anything about women or marriage. Why doesn't he ask Mr. Howell? And Peter is a six-year-old boy. When I was six, I thought girls were icky. (Now I just think they're confusing.). "Why do you ask?" I asked.

"Well, my mommy has been gone a long time now, and maybe he thinks we need a new mommy."

I felt so bad for this poor little kid. Even if he doesn't remember what happened, how his mom died, he knows he lost her. His little brother, Bobby, is three, and I don't think he remembers her anymore, but maybe that's sadder.

"Well, you guys have got Alice, and all of us."

"Yeah, but Greg says Dad might want a wife, you know, to hug and kiss." He made a face.

I felt really uncomfortable about the conversation, but I wanted to make this little boy feel better. "I don't think your dad is gonna get married at least until we get rescued."

"Oh. When do you think we'll be rescued?"

I wasn't sure how to answer that. I didn't want him to think we'll never be rescued, but I also didn't want him worrying about getting a stepmom. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

"Oh, OK." He went back to the playground.

I didn't bring it up, but I figured if Mr. Brady was going to get married on the island, it would have to be to Ginger or Mary Ann. Mrs. Martin's husband died so recently, and I don't think he'd marry Alice since she's his maid. I can't picture him marrying Ginger because she'll probably have a big Hollywood wedding to an actor someday. And Mary Ann is too young to get married if I am, especially to someone about thirty with three little boys. If he were going to get married, I guess the Skipper could perform the ceremony, since he's the captain of a ship. If we had a ship.

I definitely didn't think about myself getting married. But now I'm engaged! Not that I want to be, but it's a chance to leave the island.

The native chief who invaded when we had an orkrestrah but left after jamming with us came back with his wife and daughter. He wants me to be his son-in-law! I never even met the girl before but the chief likes how I played the drums. She's really fat and I'm really skinny. Five-year-old Jan Brady says it's like Jack Sprat in the nursery rhyme. I don't want to marry anyone, but especially not a girl who's not pretty and who doesn't speak any English. (The Professor says their language is a combination of Polynesian and Papuan. He has to translate everything, which is going to make married life even weirder.)

But everyone wants to be rescued, so I'm being sacrificed. The other island is in the shipping lanes and we're not. I guess if we got rescued from there, I could get a divorce back in America.

I had to take a marriage test, which isn't like a blood test, but more painful. I had to carry my feeonsay (I don't know her name) around in my arms, and then I had to let her dad throw knives at me. And now I have to go put on a grass skirt for my engagement party.

I guess the next time I write in here, I'll be a married man. I don't even want to think about the honeymoon! Maybe I can pretend to have a cold.

Carol Martin's diary:

September 2, 1965

Gilligan almost got married! He's only 21 and not very mature for his age, but the potential in-laws didn't care about that. They're from that tribe that was going to attack several months ago but was won over by our enthusiastic if off-key music. The chief wanted Gilligan to marry his daughter and most of us were encouraging him to because the other island is in the shipping lanes and it would've increased our chances of being rescued.

I was less enthusiastic. It's not just that I lost Tim a couple months ago. I know how wonderful marriage can be when you love each other, and the joy we had together makes even the pain of losing him worth it. But the bride was very overweight and Gilligan wasn't physically attracted to her, and they didn't speak the same language, so there was no emotional or intellectual connection. (I think you need all three connections for a good relationship.)

Not only that, I could see that, much as Mary Ann would like to go back to her family in Kansas, she didn't want Gilligan to marry another girl, not that she said anything of course. She was relieved when Haruki, the bride's old suitor, showed up.

However, this meant a competition for the bride's hand: spears at dawn! I found out from Ginger that she tried to charm Haruki out of that, since she cares about Gilligan in her own way and didn't want to see him hurt. But she was too flirtatious or even seductive, and she frightened Haruki.

The duel happened this morning but Gilligan hit a coconut, which fell and knocked out Haruki. The bride (sorry, I never found out her name) declared her love for Haruki, so they're going to get married after all.

The bad news is that none of us were invited to the wedding, so there's no chance of being rescued. Well, Gilligan was chosen as best man, I guess for giving up the bride. But the best man test was poison darts at six paces, so he understandably wouldn't go for that.

The thing is, what if Gilligan had married this girl and we were never rescued? Then Gilligan would've been stuck in a loveless marriage for no reason. In this case, I'm glad the plan didn't work out.