"Can you not tell Gregg or Angus?" Mae asked while they waited in the apartment's parking lot. "I don't want them to know...not yet. I want this to just be normal and fun." She paused, then groaned. "I mean, as much as it can be."

"I won't tell them, and why are you worried it won't be normal?" Trent asked. He was trying not to freak out himself. Partially because that old memory had been dredged up, partially because Mae had read his mind, but also because he hadn't driven for awhile. And this wasn't his car. It was his girlfriend's car.

Well, one of his girlfriends.

His most intimidating girlfriend.

"Well...I wrecked up the bathroom," Mae murmured.

"Oh, right. Donut Wolf. Now I remember. Do they know you did it?" he asked.

"I don't know. I don't think so. There were a lot of people there that night...I think. God, it's such a blur. Maybe we shouldn't go…"

"We should," Trent said.

"Why?"

"I want to replace it with a good memory," he replied.

"Oh...hmm. Yeah. I'd like to do that. I really hope they don't remember, though."

"Shit. Just remembered: you never told Ann about, uh, the cult," Trent said.

"Ah goddamnit! Have to get that sorted out, too. Ugh, too much! Whatever, let's just forget about it all for now and enjoy the yums. Hey, there they are."

Angus and Gregg emerged from their building and walked over to the car. They got in the back and buckled up.

"Bea let you borrow her car?" Gregg asked as Trent pulled out and they started driving.

"Yep," Trent replied.

"Well, they are dating," Angus said.

"Yeah and apparently Trent's so much more trustworthy than I am." She hesitated. "Okay that was all sarcastic but I'm just realizing that it's totally true. Trent's a lot more trustworthy than I am."

"I don't think that's the right word," Angus said. "I mean, we trust you Mae, just…"

"Don't worry," Mae replied, "I know you're not being mean. But I don't wanna talk about that, what's been up?! We've barely talked because I was an absolute cave troll. I could barely get out of bed after everything that happened on Longest Night."

"Ha ha yeah! You passed out cold," Gregg said, laughing.

"Not my fault!...but thanks for everything you did, guys. It meant, like, way more than I can really say. That was such a good, fun night."

"You deserve it, Mae," Angus replied.

"Where am I actually going?" Trent asked.

"Oh, right! Uh...just stay on this road for now," Mae said, looking around. "Wow I'm bad at planning."

"It's easy to get to, there's just like one turn and it's not for awhile," Angus offered helpfully.

"Perfect, thanks," Trent replied.

"Trent, there's something I need you to do for me when we get there," Mae said, and her voice growing dire.

"Uh, okay."

"Promise me you won't let me get more than...three donuts. Okay? You gotta promise."

"Why?" he asked.

"You gotta promise!"

"Okay, I promise. Now why?"

"Because I'll vomit if I eat more."

"Oh...yeah," Angus murmured.

"Yeah dude, you gotta hella weak stomach sometimes," Gregg said. "You puked in the parking lot last time."

"But I love donuts so much…" she groaned. "I'll promise to try and not hate you for it."

"Oh wow thanks babe," Trent replied.

"I need help! I admit it! But that's what you gotta do! Help me! And I'll help you, uh...cum."

Trent laughed. "I mean, yeah, you do help with that."

"Mae, you turned into such a pervert!" Gregg said, laughing.

"Does it honestly surprise you?" she replied, turning around in the seat to stare at him. "Like for real?"

"No, not at all. I think it's hilarious," he said.

"I can't tell if it's Trent or Mae that seems to turn everyone they get involved with into perverts. I never would have thought Bea would...do what she did on Longest Night, but here we are. Although I guess I don't know much about Selma…"

"Total pervert," Mae said, grinning. "Although we more facilitated her perversion, rather than causing it. Pretty sure Trent caused it in Bea."

"I didn't," he replied. "You're the one who's all 'Bea come show my boyfriend your tits' literally the first time we met."

"Wow, Mae," Angus murmured.

"Oh whatever, like you're actually upset."

"The turn is coming up," Angus said. "Not this next one, but the one after that."

"Thanks."

They drove on.

It didn't go as bad as Mae was worried it would.

If they knew that it was Mae who had wrecked their bathroom, then they didn't give any obvious indication of it. They ordered donuts, and Trent indeed had to step in on Mae's behalf, getting into a small argument with her before finally convincing her to stick to three donuts and then see if she wanted more after eating them.

He himself just got two simple ones, an apple fritter and a jelly-filled one. He liked donuts, but he didn't really have a sweet tooth. They took a corner booth and talked about this and that. Mostly they told embarrassing stories about each other. Well, Mae and Gregg did. Trent thought that Angus was at least somewhat like himself: happy to be there, soaking in the ambience, enjoying the experience. And it was clear to him that Mae and Gregg were very close friends. It was clear to him every time they interacted, but the Donut Wolf seemed to bring out a kinetic back-and-forth between them. It was good to see them both so happy.

He texted a few times. Briefly with Ann to let her know that they'd be visiting her house and she agreed it would be cool to see the super moon and also a good opportunity to visit her mom. Then with Bea, to assure her that everything was going well.

At some point, Mae went to the bathroom, and when she came back, he could tell a lot of her cheer had left her.

"I think we should get back," she said.

"Probably," Trent agreed.

"I'm ready," Angus replied.

They headed back outside and got into Bea's car. It was getting colder, the skies getting grayer. It was several minutes into the drive before Mae spoke up.

"The mirror was still fucked up...in the bathroom. From my claws," she murmured.

"Do you know any more about why you did it?" Trent asked.

She sighed and looked out the window. "It's like I said, I don't really know. I just had all these shitty emotions screaming inside my head and I wanted to make them stop and breaking shit felt like the only option, I guess...but whatever. We did what we set out to do."

"This is a good memory?" Angus asked.

"Yeah. It is. Thanks. You guys are all...way nicer than I deserve."

"That isn't true," Trent replied. "You deserve plenty."

"Eh."

"He's right," Gregg said.

"Yes," Angus agreed.

"Eh," she repeated. "I trashed a bathroom at my favorite restaurant because I'm immature a eff. They didn't deserve it." She sighed.

"It was a shitty thing to do, but I'm willing to bet you won't do it again," Trent said.

"That'd be a safe bet...I think," she replied.

"You're making progress Mae," he said. "Even in the time you and I met. I wanted to say this, and I'm serious, I'm not bullshitting you or just trying to make you feel better, but I'm proud of you. I know changing yourself is not easy. But I've seen you trying, and succeeding. And I feel like that phrase gets thrown around so much it feels kind of like meaningless praise, but I mean it in the most legitimate sense: I am proud of you for your efforts."

"He's right," Gregg said, "I'm proud too. You're my best friend, Mae, and I want you to be happy and have a better life. And you're trying, like, really hard."

"Yes," Angus agreed. "You are."

"I don't really know what to say," she mumbled after a few quiet moments. "Thanks, I guess. It feels weird. Mostly I just feel like I'm stumbling through everything. It's so weird, it's like...I want friends really bad, and I have them, but then I think I don't deserve them, but I still want them...it's just a fucking mess and I hate it."

"You have friends who love you, that's the important thing," Trent said.

"Yeah, you're right," she agreed. "Thanks. Everyone here. Now, uh, enough of that. Let's just chill out and enjoy the drive back."

"Sounds good to me," Gregg replied.

By the time they dropped off Gregg and Angus, gave Bea back her car, and then walked back to Mae's parent's place, she realized that they wouldn't have enough time to really organize anything, let alone move it and get to Ann's place on time. Trent found himself yearning for a car more than ever as they swung by their place, grabbed Ann, and started walking back to her mom's house. He didn't really mind the walking, and having Mae and Ann with him made it a pleasant walk, but it was cold, and he also was still feeling the press to do things.

Sure, today he should be taking his time, but what about in the future when he didn't have the time to spare?

Hopefully Bea came through with that car.

Once they arrived at Ann's mom's house and sat down with her for a bit to catch up, he began to see what Ann meant about her mom being weird. There was a cautious anxiety to her, a flightiness, like she couldn't really stand to sit still for long and always had to be doing something. And there was a slight...distance to her.

Trent wasn't sure how else to describe it, except that she seemed, in some incalculable, nebulous way, that she was removed by some tiny but clear degree of separation from the world. Like her mind was always on something else, and she only got the gist of the conversation. It was strange and he wasn't even sure what it meant.

He remembered Ann mentioning that her mom had said she saw ghosts in the basement.

They talked about this and that, nothing particularly consequently, especially when it became obvious to her that none of them had made any real progress on any of their paths. None of them had a proper job. But he was at least glad that she didn't seem to suspect that the three of them were romantically involved. The more time he spent in Possum Springs, the more Trent understood what they all meant about it being just a terrible town to be polyamorous in. No one would understand. Not just not understand, but would likely actively hate it.

Eventually, he found himself sitting on the roof of Ann's house, wrapped in a blanket with Mae beside him, Ann close by, and Mae's old teacher setting up a telescope, all of them with hot chocolate in hand.

"This is wild," Trent muttered, looking around.

"Have you ever been on a roof before?" Mr. Chazokov asked.

"Actually I haven't, now that I think about it."

"He's up here all the time," Ann said.

Chazokov laughed merrily. "That I am. I like it up here. Much fun."

"That moon looks crazy," Mae murmured, and Trent had to agree. The super moon lived up to its name. It looked so big, and they had a really good view of it. Honestly, just looking at it and being here with Mae and Ann, hot chocolate in hand, was worth it.

"So, Mister Chazokov, you were Mae's teacher?" Trent asked.

"Astronomy teacher," he replied. "She was one of my favorite students."

"Really?" he asked, glancing at Mae. "Given Mae's...well, I wasn't sure she'd get along with any of her teachers."

He laughed and so did Mae. "Oh she was an awful student. She just barely passed my class. Literally with the lowest percentage possible. And that was only with my help."

"Which I still appreciate," Mae said.

"Well, you got the spirit of what I taught, even if you didn't care for the work."

"I hate paperwork," Mae growled.

"Don't we all? But it's the primary metric through which we can evaluate worth, unfortunately. Or at least that is the common belief. How wrong they are. But I have to work for them. Which is why it was nice to help Mae squeak by."

"Yay for bullshitting!" Mae said, then took another drink from her cup.

"Indeed," he replied, still fiddling with the telescope. "We're almost...ah, there. I believe we are online now. Let me just adjust it."

"Telescopes are so cool," Ann murmured. She shivered and sighed. "I'm cold."

"Well there's nothing stopping you from joining us in the blanket," Trent said.

"Mmm…" She glanced at Chazokov. "I guess so."

"Ha," he said, startling her, startling them all really, "it's good to see friends who are more comfortable with physical affection. All you people in this country, everyone thinks sitting close together, hugging, holding hands, these things are only for romance. Bah! What happened to friends just being affectionate? Sorry, don't mind me," he muttered.

"That's a good point," Ann said with a grin, and they rearranged themselves so that she sat beside him, on his other side, beneath their collective blankets. Trent couldn't tell if he was being genuine or if he was giving them tacit permission to be romantic, even in a small way.

Maybe it was some of both, Trent thought he had a point.

A long moment of silence passed while Chazokov adjusted his telescope. It was cold, but thankfully not windy out.

Finally, he straightened back up. "Okay! It's ready. Come have a look at the moon."

"I got first!" Mae declared, getting up out of the blanket nest. As they readjusted he felt Ann place her hand on his thigh, extremely close to his crotch. He looked at her, surprised, and she simply shared a small, conspiratorial smile with him.

He reached over, beneath the blanket, and cupped one of her breasts.

Her eyes widened a little but otherwise she maintained her composure. He smiled at her. Two can play at this game.

It might have gone a little further than that if Mae hadn't excitedly cried out "You guys have to see this! It's amazing!"

They finished their hot chocolates and got up, ambling over to Mae.

"So what makes it a super moon, exactly?" Ann asked.

"In simple terminology, the moon, due to its natural orbit around the planet, gets a little farther and a little closer. A super moon is what happens when we have a full moon that is closest to the Earth, so it looks brighter. And it's nice to look at with the telescope. Well, even more nice than usual," he explained.

"Come on, Mae, let us see, you called us over here," Trent said.

"Okay," she said, tearing herself away from the scope.

Ann took a look first. "Wow...that's pretty wild," she murmured. "It's so close...telescopes are really cool."

"That they are," Chazokov agreed heartily.

After a bit, she gave it up to Trent and he peered into the scope. They were all right: it looked amazing. He could see the surface of the moon pretty clearly. Craters and trenches across the pale, ashen surface.

It was a wonder to behold.

He studied it for several long minutes before giving it back up, and immediately Mae went back to looking at it.

"Hey, Mister Chazokov...I had a question," Mae said, giving the telescope up to Ann again.

"I'm always happy to answer those," he replied.

"How do you do it? Like...how do you deal with going to work every day? You've been doing this teaching thing for what...ten years?" she asked.

He laughed loudly. "Oh, try closer to thirty," he said.

"Oh wow. Jeez. A decade longer than I've even existed...but how do you do it? Like, doesn't it get boring? Or drive you insane?"

"Sometimes, sometimes it does," he said. "It gets boring, and maddening, and depressing, and miserable, and, at times, heart-wrenching."

"How do you not just...give up?" she asked. Trent was watching her closely now.

"Because of the students," he replied easily. "And because, what else is there? All of those things, all the misery and pain? It's there regardless. We are, all of us, destined to suffer, Mae. Every last one of us."

"That's really scary, and sad…" Mae murmured.

"It is, but it isn't all pain, Mae. All of us are destined to be happy, too. To love and feel joy and have fun and relax. Sometimes the darkness may seem absolute, and long, and sometimes it is. Life is imperfect, but it keeps going. And as for how I keep going? Well, I live for a few things. I live for moments like these. This is fun, and it will be a good memory. Like all the times you came to visit me and look for dusk stars. Those are good memories. This is a great memory. Much fun. I live for my students, teaching them, helping them. I live for my son. Life is many things, but something to remember is that life is helping others. We all suffer, and we all can help reduce that suffering. That's what helps on the cold, bad days when it feels like it isn't much worth it any longer...that and bills. Bills are a great motivator." He laughed again.

"You're so weird, Mister Chazokov...but thanks for that," Mae murmured.

"Did it help?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Good! More moon gazing, then!"

Ann gave up the telescope to him, and as she and Mae stood together, looking up at the moon, a little apart from him, Trent stared at them closely.

And felt something.

Something shifted inside of him, some important thing.

It was like a feeling he'd been having for days, weeks...perhaps even years, had abruptly come into focus. It was purpose.

For a long time, Trent had no idea what his purpose was beyond: be a writer and make money. Ideally, get his own place and find a girlfriend. He'd done those last two to a ridiculous degree, but he had still felt oddly directionless. The past few days, he'd been researching how to get started, and in a way he had been getting started for years now, in that he'd been practicing writing. But until this very moment, he realized that he'd lacked a certain clarity, a certain focus. In a way that seemed stupid to him, he lacked motivation.

He lacked reason.

Perhaps a better way to put it was purpose.

Bills were one thing. Paying rent, lights, buying food, gas in the tank. It was motivating enough, but it felt so...dissatisfying. Not that he'd really had a choice in the matter, not that most people did. But something about Chazokov's words of helping others rang true, striking deep in his soul. And as he looked at Mae and Ann, and thought of Bea, he remembered that he'd always held some notion that his writing might help people.

Even if it was just to help pass the time in a dark hour, or give some measure of happiness.

That would be good, but it was a distant hope, strangely dislocated from him, even if he would succeed at it.

Writing that fan fiction for Mae, it had been closer, and it seemed to bridge the concepts.

He could use whatever ability, whatever resources he had to help make Mae's life better, and Ann's, and Bea's. Some part of him felt a little guilty for thinking that. It felt old, it felt cliched, like they needed him, damsels in distress, but life was so much more than cliches. He remembered some saying he'd come across about relationships, that some days it would be fifty-fifty, and some days it would be ninety-ten, and some days it would be one hundred-zero in terms of who was contributing to the relationship. And right now it was clear to him that he was on the upswing, while Mae and Ann and Bea were all, in their own ways and for different reasons, on the downswing, and had been for some time. Years. Years of getting stomped by life.

He could help them. He wanted to help them more than anything.

When he'd left his family, his home, basically his entire life behind, he'd felt lost, even if it had been a vast improvement.

But these three women who had come into his life...it felt like they anchored him. He no longer felt lost with Mae around, with Ann and Bea.

Being with them, and helping them, felt right in a way nothing before ever had.

"Hey...are you okay?" Mae asked.

"I'm great," Trent replied.

"You are? You're just kinda staring at us…"

"Just thinking, Mae."

"What about?"

"Writing. My life. Our life. Direction and purpose," he replied.

"Oh. Wow. Heavy."

"Yeah, dude," Ann murmured.

"Good things to dwell on, from time to time," Chazokov said.

"So what are you thinking, exactly?" Mae asked.

"That it's time to really get my shit together and start focusing on my...on our life."