First mate's log:
March 4, 1966
Well, I sort of got to be in charge again. The Professor found what he said was a Papuan headdress. So the Skipper trained me to be next in charge in case anything ever happens to him. I had all the adults except the Skipper drill like an Army, and we even accidentally caught the Skipper in a trap. He wasn't mad, because it showed I can protect the island if I have to.
And he figured out that the headdress was really Mrs. Howell's French hat. The Professor isn't perfect. Last month, he thought a bunch of us were going to die from bug bites! But he's still the smartest guy I know.
Carol Martin's diary:
March 17, 1966
Gilligan apparently has the luck of the Irish. Not only didn't he die of a bug bite last month, but the Papuan headhunters that the Professor thought were on the island turned out to be a false alarm, after Gilligan surprisingly proved himself an able leader. And just yesterday he survived something unrelated to the Professor's errors.
He caught a World War II mine in the lagoon while he was fishing. Apparently it was magnetized enough to be attracted to his good luck charm. The Professor used the radio to break the magnetic waves. (He fixed the radio after Gilligan broke it, but there hasn't been any interesting news lately, other than the Mosquitoes hitting number one with their latest song, "You Need Us.")
The Skipper made a raft to tow the mine, which was still ticking, out to sea. Before the men could decide who would man the raft, Gilligan took it upon himself to go. He can be very brave sometimes. He barely got away before the mine exploded, raining down fish. Alice is thinking up more fish dishes so we can eat it all before it goes bad.
March 31, 1966
I like fish as much as the next guy, but two weeks of it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner is more than I can stand. But it's my fault for catching a land mine.
April 1, 1966
This is not an April Fool's joke. Erika Tiffany Smith is on the island and she's flirting with Mike!
She's a baroness and a countess and maybe a duchess, too. I don't really follow the society page, but I've heard of her of course. She's rich, although not as rich as the Howells, and as glamorous as Ginger, but of the international jet set rather than Hollywood.
She was on her private yacht, searching for a deserted island where she can open a vacation resort. Our island isn't quite empty, but close enough. She and Mr. Howell are in negotiations, although technically no one owns the island.
And she's been very flirtatious with Mike. I understand her attraction, since he's tall and good-looking and intelligent, with a wry sense of humor. But he's nothing like her late husbands. He has a real, serious profession. Not to mention three little boys. She doesn't seem the slightest bit maternal.
I can't tell if he returns her interest. For months, I've watched him receive Ginger's attentions with amusement. She flirts with almost every man on the island, whether resident or visitor, married or single. But she's got a light touch with Mike, probably because he's a widower and she well knows the tragedy of Barbara's death. I doubt she's kissed him, like I know she's kissed Gilligan and the Professor. Oh, and Igor.
April 2, 1966
Erika Tiffany Smith is on the island and wants to buy it. She's a rich society lady, not as rich as Mrs. Howell, but pretty rich. She got dropped off from a motorboat that went back to her yacht but it'll return in a few days. She's going to send a bigger boat back for all of us later. (I still don't know how twenty people would've fit in the Mosquitoes' helicopter, not counting the pilot. I guess he would've made a few trips.)
She also is flirting with the Professor a lot. Yesterday she was flirting with Mr. Brady but I think she dropped him because she doesn't want to be a stepmom. She's not like Ginger, who flirts for fun. Mrs. Smith has been married a bunch of times and I think she's looking for her next husband. I don't know if the Professor knows what she's up to. He understands women even less than I do. Like, I knew what Ginger was up to when she tried to take my lucky charm, but the Professor told me that Mrs. Smith seems very interested in science.
April 3, 1966
Well, Mrs. Smith moved on from Mike and now she's engaged to the Professor! I guess it sunk in that she did not want to seriously pursue someone with three children, the oldest only ten years old. The Professor is unattached, not to mention detached. I'm of course surprised that he popped the question, and so quickly, but not as surprised as Ginger is.
She came to me for advice. She didn't admit to loving the Professor or anything like that. She just said that Mrs. Smith is all wrong for the Professor, and vice versa. "...She's used to glamour and romance and he knows nothing about that."
"Then you must teach him," I found myself saying.
She looked startled and then amused when I explained that she should show him how to woo Mrs. Smith by demonstrating on him. I think she understood without my saying so that this is her chance to make the Professor break the engagement. I realize that that sounds very underhanded, but it's not as I'm suggesting she break up an established relationship. After all, the happy couple met just a few days ago and he wasn't even Mrs. Smith's first choice.
I just hope it won't end up with Mrs. Smith refusing to rescue us. But, as with Gilligan's engagement last fall, I don't think someone should sacrifice his future for all of us, even if the Professor is much more willing than Gilligan was.
April 7, 1966
Well, Mrs. Smith isn't going to rescue us either. Not because she decided that the Professor was too interested in science and stuff she doesn't care about. They had "an amickible split" Ginger says. But Mrs. Smith wrote down the coordinates and stuff in Hungarian, so they have to find a sailor that can translate. I heard about it on the radio. I still think we're more likely to have someone find our movie.
April 8, 1966
I'm still not entirely sure what happened with the Professor's triangle. Mrs. Smith didn't seem upset about their engagement ending. She seemed quite sincere when she said she still wanted to buy the island and she would arrange for our safe removal. But she told the press that her log is in Hungarian. I don't see why the man who brought her here in the motorboat, Johnny I think she said his name was, can't give directions, but of course I can't ask her that.
At least Ginger seemed to enjoy her romance lessons, and I bet the Professor did, too, because he seems almost as happy to lose a fiancée as Gilligan was.