First mate's log:
April 1, 1968
Well, Walter brought a reply back, from some guy named Birdy, but he thinks that our letter was an early April Fool's joke from his friend Old Lady Hawkins. So this time Mr. Howell is having us send a $1000 bill as a sample of the million-dollar reward he'll give Birdy if he gets us rescued.
Carol Martin's diary:
April 8, 1968
Walter went to and from his home, twice so far, but the results have not been promising. Both times, the recipient, a man named Birdy, thought the letters were pranks, even when Mr. Howell enclosed a $1000 bill. That time, Birdy said that the bill must be phony and everyone knows that Thurston Howell III died at sea almost four years ago.
So now the Professor is going to take a group portrait with the Howells' camera to prove we're all alive and well on this island. I've got to arrange the girls' hair (without the plastic combs) and try to make their worn-out dresses look good. Thank goodness their feet won't show in the photo, since they stopped wearing shoes years ago.
April 15, 1968
Walter saved my life! Not by rescuing us, although it's been a week since the last time he left, but by scaring off a six-foot morning spider. He's gone back a few times to his other owner, who kept thinking we were pulling more April Fool's jokes, but this time we sent a picture of all of us (well, the Professor's kind of a blur because he had to hop into view when the camera went off), so hopefully Birdy will send someone soon.
April 16, 1968
While we're waiting for Birdy to send someone to rescue us, we've got another possible savior. King Kaliwani of yet another tribe, Papuans, has arrived with two other natives on an outrigger canoe. Their island is regularly visited by cargo ships and he wants to take one of us women back to be the "white goddess" for their tribe. I'm willing to go, since it would be nice to be spoiled for a change, and I probably wouldn't have to stay long before we could all be rescued. Mike is wary, or jealous, and doesn't want me to go. Of course, Kaliwani might choose Mrs. Howell, Ginger, Mary Ann, or even Alice, but as long as we can get back to civilization, it doesn't really matter who the lucky lady is.
April 17, 1968
Oh boy! Or girl, as it turns out. We're still waiting to hear from Birdy (I hope Walter's OK), but meanwhile a Papuan king, Kaliwani, showed up and said in broken English that he wants a "white goddess" for his tribe to worship. The women all wanted to be the goddess, even Mrs. Howell, who's married, and Mrs. Martin, who's engaged. Kaliwani chose Alice because she's the heaviest, and he wanted to feed her to their god, the volcano on their island!
So the Skipper and the Professor said that one of the men should dress up as a woman, and then hope that a cargo ship would show up before the "goddess" had to be sacrificed. And it's just my luck that my boyish looks mean I look the least manly in a skirt, wig, and makeup. I guess if I have to, I can escape a volcano better than Alice and the other women, but I hope I don't have to.
April 18, 1968
Well, this is getting ridiculous, even for this island. It turned out that King Kaliwani wanted a "white goddess" to marry their volcano god, so the other men made Gilligan dress in drag, since they didn't want to put any actual woman in danger, while still hoping that cargo ships would rescue the "goddess" before "she" was thrown in a volcano. But Kaliwani has fallen for "Gilliana" and wants to marry "her" himself, although he's got thirty-three wives already. He'll throw a dummy into the volcano when he gets back home. Kaliwani and his men have poisonous blow darts, so I don't know if Gilligan can easily break his second engagement to a native.
April 19, 1968
I almost had to marry King Kaliwani, who at least isn't as ugly as my ex-fiancée, and he speaks some English. On the other hand, he's a man who owns poisonous blow darts. Mr. Howell tried to distract the king with a magic act from the magician's trunk we got years ago, and the Honeybees sang, "You Need Us," but Kaliwani kept insisting we had to have the wedding ceremony as soon as possible.
Finally, I had to play Hide and Seek, and then when the king was covering his eyes, I took off my wig and costume and escaped from my hut. I heard from the Skipper and the Professor, when they found me in my favorite cave, that Kaliwani thought that the gods took me as punishment for his "heresy" in trying to steal the volcano god's bride. So he and his men left our island in their canoe. And we're still waiting around to hear from Birdy.
April 20, 1968
Well, the latest batch of natives are gone and Gilligan remains single. As for Birdy rescuing us, Walter returned with our photo still attached, so maybe Birdy moved or otherwise stopped the correspondence. We were going to send Walter off with another note but Gilligan accidentally released his little friend without the message. Sometimes I wonder if that boy really doesn't want to be rescued.