In An Age Before – Part 31
The two ellith left early in the morning of 29 Narbeleth and arrived in the late afternoon on the 31st. Helluin had been dour; an inescapable mood bordering on brooding had taken root in advance of watching Beinvír sailing away from her into the West. Beinvír had been puzzled, but being used to Helluin's moods, didn't allow it to diminish her wonder at traveling the Land of Gift. Rather she chided Helluin gently, trying to lift her spirits.
"Art thou conveying me hence to a funeral, my friend?" She asked with a grin.
"Whate'er gave thee such an impression?" Helluin asked, returning from her ruminations at Beinvír's question.
"Perhaps 'tis thy glum expressions? Thy lack of mirth? The slump of thy shoulders, or the down turning of thy lips? Come, Helluin, what has struck thee mute these last hours? I should think us riding to some fell doom."
"'Tis always doom in some form lying 'nigh or 'round a corner, some lesser and some greater. I have not ridden hither in well 'nigh 600 years, and the last time was to take ship following the death of my husband. I am sorry. I sought not to diminish thy enjoyment of the scenery with my depressing company. I shalt endeavor to be more lighthearted."
"Thou needn't force a jolly demeanor upon thyself for my benefit, Helluin," Beinvír said straight faced, "though I shalt appreciate thou refraining from singing maudlin songs."
Helluin looked sidelong at the Green Elf, but couldn't tell if she was serious or jesting. A moment later Beinvír stopped her horse dead in the road as if she had struck a wall.
Riding downslope to the harbor through a forest scented with cedar and pine, the lands about them had opened upon a vista of the westering sea, lit golden by the falling sun that seemed to float above the waves. 'Twas timeless, and Helluin understood the impact it had made on Beinvír, who gasped in wonder beside her. A thousand years aforetime she had felt that same surge in her heart at the beauty of it when she'd first seen it, riding beside Vëantur on her initial visit in S.A. 601. After staring at the scene for some time, Beinvír coaxed her mount forward again, only to come upon an even more impressive view.
They stopped their mounts upon the road where it turned a descending curve. For long moments they took in the view; sun upon the waves, Eldalondë, the White City of many arches, graceful and tranquil, lying below. And at the quay floated a white ship, swan-prowed and bearing a single mast, and upon it lay a faint shimmer visible only to the eyes of the Eldar. Such a sight could 'naught but raise the sea-longing in the Green Elf's heart.
"'Tis a ship out of the Blessed Isle," Helluin told Beinvír, seeing that it had captured her eyes, "and tonight we shalt perhaps meet those who have sailed hither upon it. Perhaps even they shalt be known to me; friends of old long sundered."
"What I see before me now; this land, this sea, even the trees about us, art beautiful with a clarity I have ne'er known upon the Hither Shores," Beinvír said softly. "Indeed, ne'er thought to see. Here truly is that Mortal Land closest to the Immortal West of song. I see it with my eyes, but more, I feel it with my heart. All about us grow trees and plants the like of which I have not known aforetime, and all fragrant, shapely, and graceful. 'Tis almost too much to bear."
Helluin looked at her friend and saw the tears starting in her eyes, so moved was her heart by their surroundings. Somewhere a bird trilled a song unheard in Middle Earth, for like the trees, oiolairë, (evergreen), and nessamelda, (fresh-scent), white blooming laireossë, (summer-snow), and golden malinornë, (the mallorn), they had come as gifts in ships from the West. All about them a caressing breeze carried their many sweet scents.
"Of all Mortal Lands, thou stand in that most like unto the Undying Realm," Helluin told her, "and I would that thou could see its beauty. Yet beyond these shores lies that which is yet again more beautiful still, and I can show it to thee not." Helluin turned back to look out o'er the strand towards the far West that lay beyond sight, and when she spoke again, her voice was soft, barely to be heard. "Thou may be offered a choice, my dearest friend, and if so, choose as thy heart bids thee."
At her words, Beinvír looked questioningly at Helluin, but the Noldo only nodded ahead and gently nudged her horse. Beinvír followed, looking about and trying to mark all things at once. So too did I go forth upon the westward march, trying to see all and miss none, and commit every glance to memory, Helluin thought as she rode silently, leading Beinvír down into the city of Eldalondë.
They stayed at an inn called Termáre¹, which had views of the shore, for Helluin knew 'twas the place favored by those who came hither from the Lonely Isle. They took their supper in the common room, and sure enough, there were several of the mariners out of the Undying Lands, speaking softly together and sipping wine. They traded glances with Helluin and Beinvír as they entered, questioning and silently answering, and arranging to speak after the two friends had dined. ¹(Termáre, To Stay/Tarry/Linger, . Quenya)
Though the fare was delicious, Helluin and Beinvír ate quickly, and when they were done, Helluin requested a pitcher and then they went to join the Eldar of Tol Eressëa.
"Alassarwa yomenie, nildnyai¹," one of them said as they rose to greet the two friends, "I am Tuilendil², a grower of plants. With me art Luhtalle and Soronhen³." ¹(Alassarwa yomenie, nildnyai Joyful meeting, my (female) friends".Quenya) ²(Tuilendil, "Lover of Springtime" = Tuile(Springtime) + -ndil(lover of) Quenya) ³(Luhtalle, "Enchantress" = luhta-(enchant) +-(al)le(fem. agent) and Soronhen, "Eagle Eye" = soron(eagle) + hen(eye) Quenya)
"Alassarwa yomenie, Tuilendil, Luhtalle, ar Soronhen," Helluin replied, nodding to each in turn. "I am Helluin and my friend is Beinvír. I am glad to find thee hither."
Tuilendil, the grower of plants, was the eldest, an ellon with grey streaking his dark hair and a slender build. Luhtalle was a tall beauty with the rare silvery hair of the Teleran kindred, whose grey-blue eyes shone bright with life as yet unencumbered by the weight of memories. Helluin suspected she had been born on Tol Eressëa after the pardoning of the Exiles. Soronhen was dark-haired and grey-eyed, but those eyes were clear, sharp of glance, and moved quickly, making him appear somewhat shifty. Indeed he looked closely at them both, and his eyes lingered on Beinvír longer than Helluin would have liked. They each greeted the two in friendship and Helluin detected no duplicity in them.
"Art thou of the kindred of Ossiriand?" Soronhen asked Beinvír after they were seated.
"Indeed so, but born after in Eriador beyond the Ered Luin," she answered.
The others nodded, understanding thence why they detected no Light of Aman upon her.
"Thou art known to me, Helluin," Tuilendil said, "for I remember thee from Gondolin, the place of my birth, and I have seen thy likeness again, hither in Númenor. I saw thee at times in Avernien as well, for I escaped the Hidden City in the company of Idril and Tuor, though I had taken injury when the city fell. Indeed I still favor my right leg when I walk."
Helluin nodded, understanding that he had suffered much, the Cirith Thoronath not the least of the memories that had darkened his stay in Mortal Lands.
"I pray thee, tell me what passes on the Hither Shores," he asked, a gleam of excitement growing in his eyes, "for surely there is much to see in those vast lands. I ne'er walked far beyond Sirion in all my days in Beleriand and have not returned thither since. Surely thou hast seen great wonders and many peoples in this Age."
"Many wonders indeed," Helluin said, "but great dangers too, and these grow more threatening of late. Pass my tidings to those in the Undying Lands, that Sauron Gorthaur has arisen again and prepares for war. In the land of Mordor he orders a realm, and he hath built him a great tower and raised an army thither. Tell them that soon there shalt be war in the Hither Lands. We expect no aid from them again; simply let them know."
"So that is the great concern of the Wise, and why of late Númenor has undertaken armament," he said, finally understanding the reasons for many things he had seen of late. "I should say thy tidings art known to a few already, Helluin. I am not sure, for I am not in their confidence, but perhaps thou shalt receive some aid from the Undying Lands yet. Of late I have marked the reappearance of some who were once lost. They may come again o'er the water to the Mortal Shores."
Tuilendil's words Helluin marked and remembered, but she understood them not, and he could say no more.
Long they spoke that night and each had much to tell, but ere they ended, Helluin mentioned that she had brought her friend hence to Eldalondë, for amongst all the Mortal Shores, here alone could she taste somewhat of the Immortal Lands in the West. The three Elves of the Lonely Isle nodded in understanding. For 16 centuries they, and others like them, had brought forth plants, birds, and the wares of Elvenhome to enrich the kingdom of the Dúnedain. And nowhere in all that land was any place so much like home as here. Beinvír spoke joyfully of the beauty of what she had seen, and then listened closely to their descriptions of their home. The images they created in her mind with their words made her shiver with awe as the sea called her heart e'er west. All of them could hear the waves so close by and feel the great tides of life that moved therein. When the offer was made, Helluin was surprised that 'twas Luhtalle rather than Tuilendil who spoke the words.
"Beinvír, if thou would have it so, then thou may take ship with us and sail into the West, for the Nandor art in origin of the kindred of the Teleri, my people, and though sundered from us long ago, thy ancestors started upon the westward road. The Powers would allow thee to complete at last thy journey."
Helluin saw the excitement in her friend's eyes and felt the moment's gush of joy in her heart. Make thy choice, meldis meldwain nin¹, she thought, make thyself happy. She held her breath, waiting to hear Beinvír's answer. ¹(meldis meldwain nin, my dearest (female) friend, meld(dear) + -wain(adj. superlative) + meldis(f. friend) + nin(my, 1st pers. sing. poss. pronoun) Sindarin)
Beinvír looked o'er into her friend's eyes and spoke silently to her.
Would thou accompany me hence, forsaking thy concerns in Middle Earth for the bliss of the Undying Lands? Thou dwelt thither once. Could thou be happy thither with me now?
I would be happy with thee anywhere, for I have come to love thee, my dearest friend, but I cannot forsake the Hither Lands when so much evil threatens. I cannot leave all whom I know there in their time of greatest need. If thou would seek thy heart's desire, then go hence, and I shalt come after someday to find thee, but I know not how long shalt pass ere we meet again.
Then I shalt seek my heart's desire. And with that, Beinvír looked back to the three Elves of Tol Eressëa and gave her answer.
"Much do I desire to see the Undying Lands and thy Blessed Isle, but yet more do I desire to remain with my friend, Helluin. Perhaps someday I shalt cross the sea at last, but for now we have a part in a story, and I cannot leave ere that story finds its end."
Luhtalle nodded in understanding and gave her a small smile.
For Helluin, Beinvír's words were more welcome than the opening of a bright day on a cloudless, warm spring morn, when one comes from their rest to the sweet singing of birds amidst a gentle, fragrant breeze. The Green Elf's choice spoke of love, for no other reason could bring one's heart to the decision she had made; to cleave to Helluin's own, forsaking even the Blessed Realm and the call of the sea. In 6,117 years, no other of any kindred had made so plain their feelings for her. The understanding brought tears to her eyes and her love for her friend grew even greater with the knowledge.
Arandil had not deigned to accompany her even upon her walks in Aman, remaining always with his king in Valmar, or in the city upon Tuna. Vëantur had joined her sailing to any destination, but he had ne'er been tested with a choice so severe, or a temptation so great. In her love he had already gained all his life's hopes could offer. But to stay with her, Beinvír had declined the very offer all of Helluin's people had chosen to accept…the call to make their way into the West. Twice to thee that call has been renounced, by thy ancestors in thy blood and by the choice of thy heart, Helluin thought, that thou love me more than the Blessed Realm doth leave me weak, for in my selfish heart I had prayed thou would choose thus.
The next day they spent about the city, but at nightfall they rode forth into the lands of Nisimaldar to the south. Thither, amidst the trees of the Immortal Realm grew many shrubs and other plants, e'er blooming and e'er fragrant, and thither too sang many birds of the Blessed Isle as well. There they made a camp, and Helluin had planned the time, for that night was Isil full in his glory above, and the magick of Varda blossomed out with the stars. After their supper they sat with their backs against an embankment carpeted in soft moss, watching the moon rising to cast the pale beam of its light, silvery upon the waters in the distance to the west. Helluin had spent the time doting upon Beinvír and the Green Elf understood her, but still desired to forestall her increased attentiveness lest she come to feel stifled. She needed some space, for that too was in her blood.
"Helluin," she said, "thou hast been minding me like a mother hen this last day, and whilst I appreciate thy sentiments, I pray thee, let things be as they have been aforetime with respect to thy attentiveness. I shalt not break, I can carry my own bags and unsaddle my own horse."
Helluin looked at her, reviewing her own behavior, and realizing that what her friend said was true. Still, "I have been preoccupied with making easier for thee the day, and though I know thee capable, yet still I desired to do for thee. Ne'er had any shown me how much they value me such as thou hast. I would do anything for thee."
The Green Elf smiled at her friend, yet felt the need to speak, for the thankfulness and rejoicing in their companionship was not one sided.
"In my first centuries, my adar and naneth brought to me many young ellyn¹ who sought my hand, and yet when I chose none and attached myself to the company of Dálindir, they understood my need to wander. For the next thousand years I made my way with them about Eriador and thought myself content. Yet in the last three centuries with thee, I have seen places and beings beyond my dreams. Thou hast given me the world, Helluin, more so than even my king, and though we have faced dangers, with thee I feel safe. But more than this, in no other's company have I felt the fluttering of my heart, nor the shivering amidst my spine as I do when I look into thy eyes, for in them I find myself lost, and in that loss I am found as ne'er I thought to be. I should not leave thee for the world, Helluin; why then for but an island, no matter how pretty?" ¹(ellyn, generic term for male Elves, pl. Sindarin)
Helluin could only stare at her friend in wonder. Half the Noldor and Sindar feared her deadly wrath and yet Beinvír felt safe with her? She had created a dark weapon that had inspired the malice of Sauron himself, and still Beinvír was moved looking into her eyes? Helluin could find no words for her thankfulness or her amazement. All she could do was wrap her friend in her arms and hug her tight, and let acceptance flood her heart. As they reclined thus, wrapped in each other's embrace, a pair of birds of a kind known upon the Lonely Isle, with plumage of powder grey and bright beaks of gold, alighted on a branch above to serenade them ere settling to their night's roost, and Helluin thought it a good sign.
Another day they spent in Nisimaldar ere they set out to return to Armenelos, and both would hold dear their memories of that place through the dark days that came after.
On 14 Hithui, (November 14th) S.A. 1601, the two Elves boarded an outbound ship in Rómenna called Valacirca¹ for their return to Lindon. She was a far different vessel from Viava Laireo, for she was a warship of the Queen's Navy. ¹(Valacirca, "Sickle of the Valar", (Ursa Major, the Great Bear). Sil., Ch..3, pg.45, and Index Quenya)
The Valacirca measured 320 feet in length and her three masts seemed tall for her size. She was sleek and sturdy, a stiff, swift hull with canvas enough for a ship a third again her size. And if this were not yet enough, Helluin marked the furled studdingsails rigged to open at the sides of the mainsails, where they would extend far beyond the sides of the ship, adding canvas for light airs. Yet in a fair wind, Valacirca would fly!
She also marked the presence of four, forty-foot arms mounted on swivels, two each on the starboard and port sides. Each tapered arm pivoted near its thicker, lower end, whilst the more slender end bore a net. Catapults, she realized! The ship mounted four artillery pieces, perhaps for coastal sieges. She saw also ballistae, giant crossbows, three per side, mounted 'twixt the catapults, and these she understood, were for use against other ships. Unlike the catapults, which would require furling the sails for clearance during use, these could be fired whilst underway. Ne'er aforetime had she seen such weapons mounted aboard a ship. There was one further feature of the Valacirca that she had ne'er seen aforetime; the saw-toothed, steel sheathed prow.
"Imagine, Helluin, the effect of the mass of this vessel, running at well 'nigh 30 knots, striking amidships another vessel with that prow," Captain Baragund told her when she asked about it. "We carry siege engines, but we art the battering ram."
The thought chilled Helluin to the core. No captain she had e'er met would have willingly jeopardized his ship. The sailors she had known aforetime had been Men in love with the sea, and with sailing upon it. Helluin thought of Vëantur and Falmandil, Ciryandur and the many captains she had met at the Inn of the West Wind. She stood with Beinvír in the prow and watched the preparations to sail. Before she knew it, they were casting off.
But when Valacirca began to move, Helluin realized that these sailors were more alike than unlike those she had previously known. 'Neath the crisp orders and the practiced perfection of the crew's responses, these Men too loved the sea. At the bark of the mate's voice, sheets fell home in perfect synch on all three masts, dropping and bellying as one. And Valacirca responded with the same eagerness as Linte Eari had all those years ago. Ere they entered the greater Bay of Rómenna she was topping 24 knots, still accelerating, and the excitement of the crew sizzled with her haste.
Indeed Valacirca was making a speed run and her voyage was a trial, testing the ship, her captain, and her crew. Though the winds were not ideal, they held for the journey, and as Helluin had expected, the ship could fly. Upon their second afternoon out she heard the mate cry, "32 knots, my Lord Captain," and the crew of the watch cheered.
"Fair winds 'n smooth water ahead," Captain Baragund observed, giving the sailing master a nod and the hint of a smile.
"T'gallants, fore 'n main," called the sailing master, and the two rectangular top gallant sails opened and caught the wind. The ship surged ahead yet faster.
Then moments later it seemed, the mate called out, "a hair o'er 36 knots, my Lord Captain." And now all held their breath, for Valacirca still gained speed.
"Wait two minutes and toss again thy line," Captain Baragund ordered, watching the sails and tilting his head to the wind.
With the crew the two Elves waited in anxious anticipation, and when the line had been tossed and drawn and the speed calculated, the mate cried out, "just 'nigh 39 knots, my Lord Captain."
"Enter it in thy log, Sailing Master," the captain ordered, "that upon this 15th day of Hithui, S.A. 1601, the Queen's Ship Valacirca has exceeded all prior speed a'sail."
That night, their second at sea, 'twas the new moon and the sky was dark save for the wealth of stars, and yet Helluin knew they shone now not quite so brightly as they had in earlier Ages. Even so, such nights were dear, recalling to her the starlight of the Mortal Lands she had walked ere coming to Aman. And in token of this, she led Beinvír up to the mainmast top whither they lay on their backs, high on the talan of the watch, looking up at the heavens in the dark. Thither in their windy, swaying perch 160 feet above the main deck, Helluin pointed out Menelmacar, the "Swordsman of the Heavens", (Orion), Anarríme, "Crown of the Sun", (Corona Borealis), Wilwarin, the "Fluttering Crown", (Cassiopeia), Lórocco, the "Sky Steed", (Pegasus), and the ship's namesake, Valacirca.
"And thither too is thy star," Beinvír said, pointing to the blue fire of Helluin, (Sirius), that blazed from the heart of Ráca, "The Wolf", (Canis Major). "And it doth pale before thine eyes."
She turned to look into the blue but inches away at her side, letting herself sink into their depths in the darkness. Helluin looked just as carefully into the bright grey of Beinvír's eyes, noting the fire flecks of gold and silver that seemed to swim in their depths, like fragments of precious metals floating in a dome of night darkened basalt. In them she felt a measure of the connection she'd once felt in her vision a long, long time ago. Not quite the same, but akin to it, and yet unique, something exciting, familiar, and still all its own.
'Neath them the shrouds thumped and the wind whistled amidst the lines. A few mariners of the last watch sang, faint to their ears on the deck far below. But all faded in the moment. Beinvír rolled onto an elbow and looked down into Helluin's eyes.
"'Tis but one above and far," the Green Elf whispered, "and I am blessed with two close at hand. Dearer to me than Varda's own art thine, the work of Ilúvatar himself."
Helluin thought the words sweeter than any sung in any Age, but the Laiquendi had once filled Ossiriand with the fair music of their voices. And her Fair Treasure would have put them all to shame. She reached up and stroked Beinvír's cheek with gentle fingers that had slain hundreds, and then, slipping her hand into the Green Elf's dark hair, urged her down. Closer…closer…and her eyes slipped closed.
Finding the softness of the lips poised above and exploring them with her own made her shiver and thirst for more. She stroked their full arches with the very tip of her tongue and nibbled on their silky curves. The kiss deepened and she felt herself falling into the arousal their contact enflamed within her. With both arms, Helluin pulled Beinvír's body full atop her own, and the elleth's form, light yet solid, clove to Helluin's, imparting heat with the contact as her hands, Elven sensitive, moved in a knowing caress.
Breaths quickened, blood raced, and consciousness focused to a point, like sunlight through a lens, even as it expanded. Hands left trails of fire upon skin sensitized by the teasing lash of the night wind. Their bodies grew breathless whilst barely moving, all from the exertion of their spirits. Higher and higher their excitement climbed, scaling paths of arousal to precipices jutting sharp o'er a void filled with blinding light. And willingly into that radiance they plunged, hand in hand whilst losing self, together into that sacred place gifted by the One to his Elder Children, whither the fëa lies unbound even as it is bound to another. It seemed that when at last Helluin opened her eyes, all the stars above flared with the brightness they had lost as time dimmed their fires.
Upon the talan atop the towering mast, their fëar¹ joined in that time as one; a melding that had been impossible for Helluin with Vëantur, and unrealized with Arandil. 'Twas deeper than a turning thither of her heart. Here was another kind of love, not based on shared characteristics, purpose, or time and place, but rather upon mutual concern proven o'er many, many years, and mutual devotion strong enough to challenge the passage of the Ages. It felt akin to the inevitable and slow revelation of events presaged in the Music of the Ainur ere Arda was formed. 'Twas that which Men called destiny. On that night, both believed that what they felt could withstand the fading of time and remain intact, though Arda itself fail and an end come at last to the First Song. ¹(fëar, spirits = fëa + -r(pl.) Quenya)
Valacirca dropped anchor at Mithlond on 17 Hithui, for having averaged 19 knots, the ship had traveled the 1,900 sea miles from Númenor in but four days.
To Be Continued