First mate's log:

February 12, 1971

Alice went over to Blenford on the ferry today to stay overnight at Ginger's. She has some time off but she'll still be cooking, taping a segment for Ginger's Saturday afternoon talk show. Ginger is going to be talking about how to throw a romantic Valentine's Day, since that's on Sunday, and Alice says she's going to demonstrate that "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, although it hasn't won over Sam yet." Alice was too nervous to do it live, and she has to get back to the Bradys' by tomorrow afternoon anyway. Ginger is paying her of course, and the two of them will get a chance to catch up on gossip.

Alice didn't seem too surprised that I don't have any romantic plans for Sunday, and I tuned out Gopher talking about his plans with Mary Ann.

Carol Brady's diary

February 14, 1971

Well, Alice went over to Blenford Friday afternoon to record a feature for one of Ginger's TV shows, and I certainly don't begrudge her the time off. Unfortunately, the timing led to a misunderstanding, which wasn't her fault but Jan's.

Our middle girl is going through a new phase: practical jokes. She put a fake ink spot on poor Alice's coat, and Alice was about to head off on the ferry and of course wanted to look her nicest. And Jan put a plastic spider on a plate of cookies, to scare her sisters. She just thought it was funny, but no one else did. I didn't punish her, since these jokes are harmless enough on their own, but I warned her that someday she may take a joke too far.

Sure enough, she hid a mouse that Greg brought home for his Science class. I wasn't crazy about the mouse being around anyway, since I don't like rodents. (We were lucky on the island that there weren't too many mice or rats here, but the Professor once told me that they aren't native to this part of the tropics.) Marcia and Cindy were even more scared of it than they were of the rubber spider, and I didn't blame them. Even Tiger seemed scared of Myron, the mouse.

Jan had "borrowed" Myron from Greg, who was keeping him in a cage, so I don't really blame Greg. When Mike came home from a meeting with Mr. Howell, he reminded us that the boys put up with Marcia's slumber party a few months ago. I didn't point out that the boys didn't actually suffer in silence like martyrs but pulled a few pranks of their own. Still, when Mike suggested that Greg keep the mouse in the garage as a compromise, I went along with that. I just didn't want the mouse creeping around the house.

Unfortunately, the boys worried about Myron being all alone in the garage, when the Dittmeyers' cat, Guinevere, likes to prowl at night. So they went and brought his cage into their room while the rest of us were asleep. And Jan was spying on them, so she went and got Myron out of the cage and hid him in the girls' clothes hamper. The little beast chewed his way out and went scurrying through the house.

I was oblivious to all this, as was of course Alice when she returned and didn't even know about Greg's science homework. She saw the mouse in the kitchen and called the exterminator. (Yes, we have one on the island these days, which would've come in handy with the giant spider, among other vermin, in the old days.) She didn't tell the rest of us at first, because she didn't want to upset anyone.

When I got home from running an errand, the boys were moping because they'd seen the exterminator and found out from Alice what happened. Alice told me she felt just awful, and poor Jan was very contrite. I didn't punish her because she'd learned a painful lesson, well, especially painful for Myron.

And then it turned out that Myron was hiding in the doghouse, causing Tiger to howl in fear! We were all relieved, although I still think Myron is kind of creepy.

As for Jan, she really is reformed, although when Alice found an ink spot on one of her uniforms, she naturally suspected Jan. It turned out to be from an uncapped fountain pen in the pocket. Poor Alice, she hasn't had a very good weekend, although she said she enjoyed her visit with Ginger, and she has plans to make a Valentine's dinner at Sam's place this evening.

Mike and I are going out to dinner, although he just had to joke about planning to order "chocolate mouse." And Greg and Marcia don't have dates for a change, so they'll babysit.

February 16, 1971

This morning, I saw Greg Brady on his way to school early, carrying a mouse in a cage. He introduced me to Myron, who's real cute. Greg was looking after him over the President's Day Weekend for school. He didn't have time to go into detail then, but he said, "Jan almost got Myron killed!"

So when Marcia took the late afternoon ferry just to talk to me, I figured it had something to do with that, especially when she said she didn't know if being a fink would make her a bad sister. It turns out that Jan hid Myron as a prank but then he got loose and Alice, who was over at Blenford when most of this was happening, didn't know, so she called the exterminator. Myron survived and Jan promised not to pull any more pranks.

"Still, I wouldn't have believed her when she told me she saw Greg smoking, if Cindy hadn't tattled on him, too."

I would've been disappointed in Cindy if I hadn't heard the part about Greg. Marcia said that, according to her sisters, Greg was smoking with some boys in his class after school today. She asked Jan and Cindy not to tell anyone else, and she's not sure about telling their parents.

"Have you talked to Greg about it?"

"No, I wanted your advice first."

"Gee, I don't know, Marcia. My older brother didn't smoke until he was an adult, and we didn't know how dangerous it was back then. But, yeah, you should probably tell your folks, before someone else does."

She was now looking like she was starting to regret taking the ferry, since she'd have to wait for the next one back. So I suggested she go ask the Professor if he'd be willing to take her home in his boat. He'd probably give her lots of scientific information about the hazards of smoking, just in case she did get a chance to talk to Greg first.

February 17, 1971

Greg smoked a cigarette! I know, he's only fifteen. Marcia reluctantly told me and Mike so we confronted him. He admitted it and said he just wanted to be one of the guys. As with Jan and the pranks, we're not going to punish him, since he learned his lesson. (It was different with Peter and the camping trip, because that lie went on so long and involved the other children and even Alice.)

I have decided to join an anti-smoking committee that Doris Johnson and some of the other mothers on the island are starting. I miss the innocent days when cigarettes weren't on our island, but I guess it's part of "civilization."

It is tempting to ground Greg from a "gig" he has playing over at the South Blenford High School. It's with the boys who he smoked with, but he promises he won't give in this time. Mike says we need to trust Greg, and I'm going to try my hardest to.

February 19, 1971

Greg talked to me about cigarettes today. He admitted that he smoked one cigarette with his new friends, who are in a teen rock band, the Banana Convention, that he's playing with tomorrow night. His parents believe him, so I will, too. His mom even believed him when a pack fell out of his letterman's jacket. Unfortunately, they fell out in front of his friend Tommy Johnson's mother, and she's head of the parents' anti-smoking committee on the island. Mrs. Brady was going to join but now she can't, because Mrs. Johnson doesn't believe Greg.

Greg has no idea how the pack got in his jacket, so I said, "Maybe it was a mischievous monkey."

He shook his head and said, "That makes about as much sense as what my brothers and sisters have come up with."

The Brady kids are growing up and the teenage problems are harder to handle than the little-kid problems, but at least Bobby and Cindy won't be teenagers for years.

February 21, 1971

Well, my faith in Greg has been challenged but redeemed. A pack of cigarettes fell out of what I thought was his letterman's jacket! It was right in front of Mrs. Johnson, who of course thought the worst. I wasn't going to serve on her committee, but then Alice did some detective work and figured out that it wasn't Greg's jacket. It turned out to be Tommy Johnson's, so I'm back on the committee and Mrs. Johnson had a talk with Tommy. She didn't ground him and the boys' group "bent the gig outta shape" last night.

I'm very proud of Greg, not just for how he's growing up, but also for his singing voice. I know I can't take credit genetically, but I'm sure my musical influence has made a difference. Well, OK, and maybe Ginger had something to do with it, too.