A/N: Hey! Been kind of very anxious, which is often hell on my writing, but am hoping that it passes fast, or that I'll be able to write around the knots. It's all started and stuff.

Chapter 37

Sookie took in a short breath of air in surprise. She had only met the beautiful fairy for just a few minutes in Eric's warehouse several weeks before. She had somehow sent him away when things had gotten tense between him and Eric. She was afraid that it had hurt him, either physically or emotionally, but he didn't sound angry. Still, she wasn't able to answer.

"I understand if you aren't able to talk, dear one, but please listen. I heard about what happened at the ball, and your part in it."

He paused for a moment and then carried on.

"There has never been anyone like you, of course. I told your surrogate maker that I knew of no vampires with an essential spark, but you are even more rare than that. I understand that you did a blood ritual with your Weres?

Sookie closed her eyes and whispered, "Yes." It was barely more than a breath.

"Fae. Human. Vampire. Demon. Shifter. You have the blood of them all. Did you drink from your wolves before the ball?"

The same small breath. "Yes."

"You have such remarkable restraint; even with the shifter blood and the phase of the moon, it must have been something very grave indeed to make you lose control, but that is a story for another day. Now, onto the impetus of my call.

"I know of a charm called a Cluviel Dor. They are very rare and difficult to make and are given by fairies as tokens of affection. This one was actually given to your grandmother, once upon a time, by my son, Fintan. Since your grandmother is no longer alive, it's only right that it should go to you. It will grant you one wish, providing it is an act of love."

Sookie's eyes widened. She made herself talk out loud.

"Can I wish that the ball had never happened?"

"No, I'm afraid that you can't go back and change the past."

"Can I wish that all of the humans who were killed at the ball can come back to life?"

"No, Sookie, that is something that cannot be done. If they all came back to life, it would be covered by every newspaper in the world. Everyone would have many questions and it would put all of the supernatural community at risk. It would cost far more lives than it would save."

What good was a wish if it couldn't take away what she had done? Sookie wiped at her tears with the heel of her hand and smeared the blood across her cheeks. She couldn't make herself talk again.

"Great-granddaughter, you have many people who care for you deeply and want to see you happy. It would be an act of love for you to wish yourself alive again. Do it for those who love you. I would do it myself, but I had to close the portals, at least for a time, and am not able to leave Faery."

Sookie felt like she'd been poleaxed. She could become human again? She could go back to being just Sunshine, living with her wolves? Loving them, just like she used to? She could stay in New Orleans and smoke pot and eat beignets and go tanning and play in the meadow with her wolves in the sunshine again? She could be completely free of Eric?

Niall continued, "There is a hidden compartment in a desk in the attic in your grandmother's home. I understand that it belongs to your aunt now?"

The breath was back. "Yes."

"You need to go and find it, Sookie. Find it and use it to wish yourself alive again. I'm afraid that I must go, but I am sure that I will talk to you another day."

He hung up the phone.

Sookie took a deep, shaky breath and then got up to get dressed. If her heart still beat, it would be pounding in her chest. She was nearly vibrating. But she couldn't let her wolves know. She needed to do this on her own, especially since they needed to shift for the night. She hoped that the others would be back soon; just getting to Bon Temp would take a few hours, even if she drove fast. She grabbed her things and went upstairs to see Jake.

He was sitting in an oversized chair reading Nietzsche. It was funny; Jake was kind of like a goofy puppy most of the time, but he was really smart. His parents had pushed him to go to college and he'd enrolled as a microbiology student at LSU Shreveport with a full ride scholarship. The Longtooth pack had known he was there, of course, but Jake had still felt very alone. There had been a few Weres on campus, but they were all jocks. That was not Jake's scene.

Maria-Star, Alcide, and Amanda had been playing at a funky little coffee shop downtown where Jake liked to study sometimes. He stayed until the set was over and then they sat and talked until the cafe closed. They moved on to a Waffle House and stayed there all night. A few days later, they ran with the moon together and the next weekend, they drove the old Volkswagen to New Orleans and picked up Jake's drum kit. They set them up in Alcide's parents' garage and Alcide Herveaux and the Werewolves finally had a drummer.

They'd picked up gigs all over Northern Louisiana, and there had been a few fans who would follow them around from show to show. There were even some bootleg CDs floating around. Jake dropped out of school at the end of his freshman year and The Werewolves packed up all of their shit, got into the old VW, and headed for New Orleans, hoping to make their fortunes in the big city.

Less than an hour after they got on the road, Jake saw a kid with her thumb out just past the Bon Temps exit. He had never picked up a hitchhiker in his life, but he put the signal light on and pulled over. He honked twice and a pretty blonde girl with a cut on her arm and nothing else to her name except the clothes on her back jumped in and changed their lives.

Jake looked up at her and smiled. "Hey, Sunshine. You want a cuddle?"

She needed his comfort more than she needed to hurry. She nodded and climbed into his lap. He was pleased with her progress. He put the book down and just held her for a little while.

After a few minutes, he kissed her forehead.

"Dr Ludwig was here around noon. There haven't been any changes since yesterday."

It was a relief. She didn't think she could stand it if anyone else died because of her.

Jake was still thinking about the doctor and what else she'd said. Sookie listened unapologetically. Eric was not doing well. He was recuperating at his penthouse suite, still very badly burned. Her blood was helping some, but not enough; it would still be a long and painful road to recovery. And she wouldn't be around to give him any more. It gave her a pang, but she couldn't give her mortality up for him.

She snuggled her face into Jake's neck. She hadn't eaten since her wolves had fed her before the ball three nights before, but she wasn't tempted. She was too afraid that she'd hurt him.

"You must be hungry, Sunshine. Go on and take a bite. Nice and fresh, right from the tap."

She shook her head.

"Ok, suit yourself. But just know that I will always lend a helping neck."

The others would be back soon. Until then, she was just going to enjoy the sound of his heartbeat and his almost hot embrace.

The other wolves showed up around five. They were all going to go and grab something to eat and then head to the meadow. She felt terrible about going behind their backs and doing this. She felt worse because they would be so worried if she didn't get back in time, but she had to go and find the charm.

She climbed off of Jake's lap and glamoured them all to forget she was there. She made sure to grab her bag and sunglasses and Tray's keys off the table by the door and slipped out while they were getting ready for the last hunt of the moon. They wouldn't remember that she was gone until the following evening at sunset. She hoped that she'd be back by then. She hoped that she'd be alive.

She got in Tray's car and headed north. She turned on the radio to try to pass the time and distract herself from the fact that she was heading to northern Louisiana again. There was nothing for her there except bad memories. The ones that used to be beautiful hurt the most.

The trip to Bon Temps felt far too short. The last time she'd made this trip up from New Orleans, she and Eric had passed the town by, and she had still vomited blood all over the side of the road in panic. This time, She felt so much older, even though it had been only a couple of months before. She put on her signal light and took the exit.

She passed by a million things that looked exactly the same. It had only been a year and a half since the day she'd left Bon Temps behind her. She had hoped that it would be for good. She was angry that she had to go back again, but this would hopefully be the last time in her life that she'd have to visit. Not in her death, but her life.

She drove down Hummingbird Road and turned onto a long gravel driveway. She remembered Sunday dinners with her whole family there until her whole family had been taken away from her. Except, of course, the one who'd tolerated her before and hated her after. She hadn't had a happy childhood when they'd all been still alive, but she'd had one, at least. And a family who'd loved her.

There was an old Chevy Nova parked in the driveway and Sookie hoped that it belonged to her aunt Linda. She parked next to it and slowly climbed the steps to the front porch. Gran's porch swing was still hanging from the pergola, swinging gently in the breeze.

She was terribly nervous, even though she had no reason to be, unless the desk had been moved out of the attic. She could glamour her way inside no matter who lived there.

A frail woman opened the door.

"Sookie? Is that you?"

Aunt Linda had been a very beautiful woman when Sookie was younger. Now, she looked gaunt and frail and at least twice her actual age. Her blonde hair was lank and dry, not thick and wavy and the envy of every girl at Bon Temps High back in the day. She had changed so much since Sookie's mother had forbidden them from seeing each other. She supposed that both of them had.

Sookie nodded. Her eyes started to tear up, but she held them back. She didn't want the drops of blood to scare Aunt Linda, or to have to glamour the memory away. Sookie stepped forward and they met each other in the middle and embraced.

"Oh, Sookie, I'm so happy to see you and to know that you're ok."

Sookie couldn't speak right away. There was something in Linda's scent that was pleasant — like Hadley, only better — but it was overpowered by the essence of sickness and death. Aunt Linda didn't have long to live.

"You're freezing cold! You must have had that air conditioner on full blast. Come on inside and talk to me, honey. I can't wait to catch up."

Sookie followed her in and kind of got lost in the nostalgia for a minute or two. It looked almost just like it had when Gran and GrandDaddy were still alive. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her childhood had been mostly awful but almost all of her good memories from that time had happened right there, in the Stackhouse family farmhouse.

Sookie sat down on the same old couch and Linda sat in the chair catty-corner to her. Linda tried not to let Sookie see her wince in pain, but it was very hard to fool a vampire. Especially a telepathic one.

Aunt Linda sighed. "Your Mama raised hell after you ran away, but everyone knew that you were probably better off wherever you went rather than staying with her. I am so sorry that I wasn't able to get you out of there before it got that bad."

Sookie smiled a hint of a smile and shrugged. "If I hadn't run away right then, I would never have met my new family. I'm glad that Mama cut me up. It allowed me to know what it's like to feel happy and accepted and loved."

Sookie told her aunt a very watered down and supernatural-free version of the year and a half before — that she lived with friends who were very protective of her and helped take care of her in New Orleans. Linda wanted to ask if she should bring up Sookie's mother or if she'd seen Hadley. Instead, she told Sookie gossip about people she hadn't even thought about since she'd left town.

When there was a lull in the conversation a few minutes later, Sookie said, "Aunt Linda? Are Gran's old things still up in the attic?"

"Yes, and about a dozen other Stackhouses' too. Is there anything you're looking for in particular?"

Sookie shrugged. "I don't really know. Is it ok if I go up and take a look around."

"Of course, Sookie. Do you want me to make you a cup of coffee or a glass of sweet tea?"

"No, Ma'am. I'm just going to poke around upstairs and see what I can see."

The attic and everything inside was covered in a decade's worth of dust, at the very least. She found her grandfather's old desk right away. Being able to see so well — and in the dark — made the secret compartment easy to find. There was a very old velvet bag inside. When she picked it up, she could feel the weight of something small but substantial.

She opened the sack and there was a beautiful green and gold… something inside. It wasn't quite a sphere and it looked like it should open right up, but with no way to open it. Niall had called it a Cluviel Dor. She took a deep shaky breath and closed her eyes. She put it back in its bag and stuck it in her pocket. The bauble was her salvation. It couldn't bring everyone she'd hurt back, but she could just go back to being herself and ensure it would never happen again.

Sookie climbed down the stairs from the attic and Linda was just heading out of the kitchen with a glass of lemonade in each hand."

"I'm sorry, Aunt Linda. I really have to go."

She could feel Linda's disappointment. Sookie took the glasses out of her hands and set them down on a table nearby. She wrapped her arms around her aunt and gave her a firm but gentle hug, knowing she would likely never see her again.

She kissed Linda's cheek and whispered in her ear. "I've seen her. She's safe, living in New Orleans." Sookie wondered if Hadley was still alive or if they had postponed her turning after the ball. "If I see her again, I will ask her to call you."

They both knew that Hadley likely wouldn't, but they still hoped that she would.

Sookie got in Tray's car and honked her horn before she drove up the driveway. She could see Aunt Linda waving from the porch in her rearview mirror through the bloody tears in her eyes.

She got back on the highway heading south. She thought that she'd make it to the hotel by one thirty. Two at the latest.