First mate's log:
September 24, 1971
Greg is still getting used to being a little fish in a big pond instead of a big fish in a little pond. (Well, we don't have too many ponds on our island, but there is the lagoon and of course the ocean.) He was president of the junior high, if you remember, winning against Marcia. Of course, she withdrew, so it's hard to say how well he would've done in a real race. They held the elections for class presidents at the high school yesterday, after almost two weeks of campaigning. He ran against a guy named Warren Mulaney for Sophomore Class President, and lost. He says Warren ran on a bunch of phony promises.
I never was as popular as Greg, and of course there were a lot more people in my high school, so I never even ran for Treasurer. I did win the election for Island President seven years ago, but that was only ten adults and two kids voting, and the vote was split anyway. And then I had to resign because no one would listen to me. Anyway, I feel bad for Greg, but I guess he's got to get used to not always winning, now that he's in high school. (Not that it sounds like Warren won fair and square, but politics can get pretty dirty.)
Carol Brady's diary:
September 26, 1971
I've been too busy to write the past couple weeks because I've been helping both Greg and Marcia in unfortunately unsuccessful endeavors. He ran for Sophomore Class President but lost, despite my and Mike's campaign advice. He even feels like his win against Marcia is now tarnished, since she withdrew in the interest of family unity. He's very bitter about losing, to a boy named Warren Mulaney, but Mike and I have told him that that's just part of life. You can't always win.
As for Marcia, she tried out for the new cheerleading squad at the junior high. She had a tied score with another girl, Kathy Lawrence, so they had to do another round. And Marcia lost. She's not as bitter as Greg, but she is very disappointed. I had helped her with the cheers, since I was a cheerleader myself, although, yes, that was in the Fifties and in high school. I've advised her to try again, for the high school squad, next year.
September 28, 1971
I took Mary Ann to see another movie on Blenford, Escape from the Planet of the Apes. I can picture something like this happening, because the apes and monkeys I've known have been super smart, smarter than some people actually. This time we held hands during the scary parts, and again when I walked her home. And, well, there were a few kisses.
September 30, 1971
After the kids got home from school yesterday, I took them all over to Blenford because we've been running low on groceries and I figured we'd just stock up, with seven people to carry the bags to and from our boat. Yes, Garst's General Store is still good for quick grocery runs, and Alice can go there without having to take the ferry. But there's no supermarket on our island, like there is on Blenford.
Anyway, the kids complained about the errand at first, but then it was sort of exciting to them, especially the little kids, because they've spent most of their lives on our island and they can still remember what it was like before the rescue. So the novelty of things like the automatic doors was still fresh. And the idea of any store being open 24 hours a day was amazing even to Greg and Marcia.
Unfortunately, a very peculiar man was following us all around the market and then down to the pier He had mod clothes and he kept framing us with his hands, like he was taking a picture. I told the children to ignore him and did my best to ignore him myself.
As we started to load the boat, the man came closer and introduced himself as Skip Farnum. He directs commercials and he's looking for a typical American family to promote Safe laundry detergent. I don't know how typical we are, considering we're a blended family who met through being marooned on an island that was eventually named for us. But Mike and I, and Alice, have done our best to give the children a normal upbringing, even with two sailors, a millionaire and his wife, a professor, and an actress as honorary aunts and uncles. (Mary Ann is of course more "normal," as a farmgirl, although now she's a restaurant-owner, which is a little more unusual for a young woman.)
Anyway, we're all of course excited about the idea of the commercial. He wants Mike in it, too, even though he doesn't yet know how tall and handsome Mike is, or how wonderful Mike's voice is. He just wants the whole family because of what we represent. That's a lot of pressure, but hopefully it'll be fun. I haven't had a chance to tell Mike yet, but hopefully he'll go for it, even if he's not that interested in acting. After all, the commercial will be, what, a minute long at most?
October 2, 1971
The Brady kids are real excited about a chance to be in a commercial. It's for laundry soap, so it's not an exciting product, but they want to be on TV.
Mary Ann and I have talked about her maybe doing a commercial for her pizza parlor, but it's not like she has a lot of competition on our island, and word of mouths that have eaten her food is enough right now. Maybe someday, if tourism becomes a bigger thing. Then again, she doesn't want to be too successful, and have to hire more people. Plus, she wants to have time for the two of us when she can. She'd rather make enough to get by and not try to be super-successful. Like, she's not going to start a MAPP franchise or anything.
October 4, 1971
The kids and I, and Alice, were all excited about doing the commercial. When Mr. Farnum came to the house yesterday, he called Alice "Pussycat" and said she had a perfect face for commercials. Mike was more dubious, especially with contracts that are more confusing than what he's used to as an architect. When he gets a chance, he'll go over to Blenford and consult a lawyer, since the handful of lawyers on our island have absolutely no training in entertainment law. At that, he may have to ask Ginger if she can contact a Hollywood lawyer.
Meanwhile, he's not sure about us doing the commercial, on ethical grounds. I told him the history of the laundry detergents we've used since the general store opened. Mr. Garst prides himself on stocking as many brands as he can. It turns out that Safe is the next to last brand Alice and I have done the laundry with, since we're using Best soap, which is supposed to be the best. Mike thinks we should only endorse products we use. I understand his viewpoint, but it's not like we're celebrities.
I suppose we could go back to using Safe, in the interests of integrity, but I'm not sure how honest that would be. And I want to use the best product, whatever that might be.
October 6, 1971
The Brady kids told me that they were going to have to cancel the commercial, despite their dreams of fame and fortune. Their dad was worried about being spokespeople for a product they don't use anymore, well, mostly Alice doesn't, since she's the main person who does laundry in their house. She uses Best instead of Safe these days. (Me and the Skipper use Help, because it makes me think of the Beatles. I just know it's better than the detergent the Professor used to make after we all got marooned.)
Mr. Brady called the commercial director, Skip Farnum, who I saw on the ferry and seemed to be kind of a nutty, sort of hippie guy, but you know, show biz. Anyway, Mr. Farnum said that the commercial is for "new and improved" Safe, so the Bradys haven't actually tried it yet. They're going to do a laundry comparison of that Safe vs. Best. I hope it works out.
October 8, 1971
Well, Mike contacted Mr. Farnum to tell him no thanks and found out that there's a newer, apparently better version of Safe out there. So we had the kids dirty up their play clothes, and then Alice washed half the clothes in Best and half in the new and improved Safe. Unfortunately, she labelled each pile with an envelope with a letter of the alphabet, rather than the names of the detergents. So the kids had to head back out and again cover themselves in paint, lagoon mud, etc.
This time Alice labelled the piles more clearly, and Safe won fair and square. Mike called Mr. Farnum again, and the commercial will be filmed, in our home, on Monday!
October 10, 1971
We took Ginger on the ferry to and from our island yesterday. (She doesn't own a boat herself and if she leaves Blenford, it's either by plane or by ferry.) Mrs. Brady called her because she's nervous about the Safe commercial. So Ginger went to teach her and Mr. Brady about "motivation," this acting style where you think about why your character does and says what they do.
I said, "But aren't they playing themselves, just a typical American husband and wife?"
"If Mr. Farnum wanted that, he wouldn't have given them a script. He would be filming this documentary style."
"Are you sure?"
"Trust me, Gilligan. I've met all kinds of directors."
"Have you met Mr. Farnum?" I didn't tell her I have and I'm not so sure that's what he wants. He seems like more the "Tell it like it is" kind of guy.
"No, he moved to Blenford very recently. But I know he'll appreciate how I told Carol to think about how happy she is to have a box of that stuff. And Mike will be thinking about how the guys at the office like how white his shirts are."
"But he doesn't even have coworkers. And he usually doesn't wear white shirts."
"Exactly. Because he's playing the role of 'Mike Brady.' "
"Oh."
I just hope it helps them. Greg really wants the commercial money to build his "boat fund" up again, and the other five kids have plans for their cuts.
October 12, 1971
Well, after all that, the commercial didn't work out. I sought Ginger's acting advice, but it turns out that Mr. Farnum wanted a "natural" family, not people acting, even though he gave us scripts. It's not Ginger's fault, or anyone's really.
I'm sorry we won't be on TV, but maybe it's just as well. The whole situation was very stressful. And now we can actually get back to being a somewhat normal, typical family. Greg is trying out for the high school basketball team and I hope it'll go better than the election for Sophomore Class President went. The poor boy has had enough disappointments lately.