Doctor Strange

Let's see….counting the two weeks it took us to get to the United States, add that with five weeks at bootcamp, another two weeks to get to mainland Europe and that leaves us at the two month mark in the year 1942.

The others had nightmares; Loki, Wanda, the Spider-Men. They never told me. I just sensed it.

Dreary eyes from a bad night's sleep, a certain uneasiness in the mornings, and on the nights when I did share a room with Loki or the three Peters, I would hear someone gasping for breath in the dead of night, drenched in a cold sweat.

I was fortunate enough to make this far without night terrors.

Until that is, on the seventh night of our tour in France.

I was sitting in a chapel with long, wooden pews stretching up to the aisle.

This had happened in real life. I was here at Christine's wedding, trying to swallow the heartbreak of watching her choose another man to spend the rest of her life with.

In real life, I was seated next to an old colleague of mine.

Instead, I made my way to an empty pew in the back.

Two men sat on either side of me.

I was so lost in my own thoughts, that I didn't notice them until the guy on my left loudly cleared his throat.

"Strange."

My head jerked up.

"Stark."

It was Tony Stark, back from the dead, casually sitting beside me, as if this was completely ordinary.

And to my right was the android, Vision.

"I thought you-"

Stark flashed his signature sarcastic grin.

"Dead? Yeah. I was. And so was Vision if I can recall correctly."

Vision smiled slightly.

"You're recalling correctly."

Their eyes wandered to the groom, Christine's new fiance, standing at the front of the chapel.

"So that's the guy?" Stark asked.

I nodded. "That's the guy."
"Ouch."

"My apologies, Doctor." Vision said. "I'm afraid I haven't been in a similar experience myself."

"Well, maybe Wanda might find someone else." Tony suggested.

The thought of Wanda falling in love with someone other than Vision sounded absurd, but Vision agreed with him.

"I hope she does. I want her to move on, to not dwell on the grief."

"Yeah. I hope that for my family too. Speaking of which," He turned to me. "How's the kid?"

"What?"

"You know, Peter Parker."

"Oh. Spider-Man."

I had completely forgotten about Stark's connection to Spider-Man.

I almost felt like I was reliving the fallout of my sister's death. I was supposed to look out for her. She was my little sister.

Was I supposed to look out for Spider-Man too?

"Yeah. How is he?" Stark repeated. "Is he ok? Are you looking out for him?"

The question was like a knife to the chest.

"I'm trying to."

His face darkened.

"Don't lie to me, Strange. Where is he?"

"He's safe." I said quickly. "But the thing is….."

Stark had an impatient look.

"Yes?"
"I casted a spell."

He groaned.

"I can see where this is going."
"He asked me to. He wanted people to forget that Peter Parker was Spider-Man."

"And you let him do that?"

"Spider-Man….Peter realized that meant his friends and family would forget too. I was in mid-casting and the spell went haywire." I grimaced, realizing what I had to tell Stark. "It opened up the Multiverse…."

"Oh, you've gotta be kidding me." he sighed.

"People were in danger! He asked me to recast the spell, this time nobody would remember Peter Parker."

Stark stared at me, stunned.

I wished he would've gotten angry instead.

"So I did." I finished. "And no one has any memory of him. Not even me."

His face crumpled.

"How could you?"

I shook my head. "There was no other way."

He threw up his hands.

"Where have I heard that before? Oh, I remember! On Titan. Before you and the kid turned to dust. There was no other way." he said mockingly.

Guilt surged through me. Why couldn't I show more emotion? Why couldn't I talk about this more sensitively and not live up to my reputation as a cold, calculating physician and superhero?

"I was supposed to be the sacrifice." Tony said. "Me, Nat, and Vision."

He nodded in Vision's direction.

"But because of your crazy shenanigans, the kid has suffered more than he needs to."

"He asked me to do it."

"Because you said there weren't any options! I didn't want to snap and he didn't want to be forgotten! We only did it because you were the one with the battle plan. We were the pieces to sacrifice."

"I believe a more accurate analogy for the doctor could be "the one to hold the knife'." Vision added.

He had to reference my surgeon career, didn't he?

"If I may ask, Doctor," Vision said. "How do you still remember who Peter Parker is?"

I hesitated.

The answer would only infuriate Stark more.

But they were both staring at me, waiting for it.

"I needed Spider-Man's help."

"For crying out loud." Stark growled.

He was probably remembering when he had been happily walking in the park with his fiance, Pepper. I had appeared out of nowhere, asking for his help to save the universe.

In a matter of twenty-four hours, Tony Stark had lost Spider-Man, gotten wounded, and was stranded on an alien planet.

In his mind, me asking for Spider-Man's help again only meant for trouble for his friend.

But friend wasn't the right way to describe their relationship.

I had a foggy memory of watching Spider-Man and arguing back and forth.

I had been confused why Stark was acting like a parent figure, so I asked if Spider-Man was his ward.

But I wouldn't have asked that if he was wearing a mask. It would've hidden his age. I must've seen his face.

They didn't answer me straightforwardly.

But Peter's smile when he was showing me the photo of him and Tony said everything.

I told Stark and Vision about tracking Spider-Man down and finding out about his secret identity. I left out the part that it was Peter Parker whom I saw in the dream.

Stark was only more fired up.

"Oh, so it's you and Peter traversing across universes? Shouldn't there be someone else?"

"There is. Two alternate versions of him, Loki, and Wanda Maximoff."

They weren't at all concerned that I had mentioned the Asgardian that had tried to destroy New York.

"So you're gonna ruin the lives of two other Peters?" Tony said.

"Why is Wanda involved in this?" Vision asked.

"She's essential to saving the Multiverse."

"Oh, it's back to the chess board again." Tony said sarcastically. "Wanda, all these Peters and Loki are your pawns."

"They're not!"

They weren't pawns. They were valuable people. Did Tony Stark think I saw everyone like that?

"Please leave Wanda out of this." Vision pleaded. "She's been through enough already."

"Tell me, Strange." Stark said. "Do you ever get tired of volun-telling people to sacrifice themselves?"

"You're very fortunate that Mr. Stark, Peter, Wanda, Natasha, and I were willing to make the sacrifice play." Vision said calmly. "But what if the next person you need does not wish to do so?"
My head felt heavy. I could barely concentrate.

Stark glowered at me.

"Will you kill them yourself? Will you banish them to some unforgiving place, away from their loved ones? All for the greater good?"

I shook my head.

"No! Of course not!"

A high-pitched sound rang through the air.

My surroundings became distorted until I lost sight of Tony and Vision.

"No!" I roared.

I bolted upright.

I was lying on a cot under an olive green field tent.

"Good morning to you too." Loki said, straightening his tie.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Bad dreams?"

"Yeah." I panted.

The early-morning moisture clung to my skin, giving me a disgusting, wet feeling.

Loki stood up from his own cot and pulled on his uniform coat.

"It's beyond me how you managed to sleep through the wake-up call."

"Wait, what?"

"Don't worry. It was only ten minutes ago."

"Hey, Doc."

Our Commanding officer poked his head in through the tent flaps.

"We need physicals done before we head out today."

He looked at me, still in bed.

"What in the-? Oh, for goodness sakes, Strange. Up and at 'em!"

He shook his head at Loki and vanished behind the flap.

The sounds of conversations, marching, and jeeps from outside brought me fully awake.

I swung my legs over the bed, my dog tag swinging like a pendulum

According to the dog tag, my birth date was 1896.

I had gotten used to wearing it so much, it felt like a part of me.

I got dressed quickly. No sense in eating breakfast until later.

I made my way to the medic tent where a long line of soldiers already stood outside, waiting.

Loki, Wanda, other high-ranking officers and female agents and myself were some of the few people still wearing dress uniforms. These guys on the other hand, were now in green coveralls with utility belts and helmets.

Gray storm clouds hovered over the French wilderness.

For the next few hours, I examined the men to make sure they were fit for battle.

The Colonels planned to take down camp and begin the northward march by noon. A scout reported that there would be some German camps along the way and we expected our first fight today.

A nurse helped me take the soldiers' weight, height, and checked for any signs of diseases.

As I signed every soldier's papers, saying they were ready to go, I wished that these examinations included mental check-ups.

It wasn't a matter of whether or not our soldiers were physically fit, but if they could take the strain and stress of the battle mentally.

Eventually, the two older Peters came through while the clouds were releasing a gentle downpour.

I talked with them a little, checked their vitals, and gave them the go-sign.

I knew that I wouldn't get to see them until later on tonight.

The nurse and I continued on until I got to the last name.

Private Peter Holland

The dream that I had been trying so hard to suppress all day came flooding back.

Peter came from outside in his typical good mood.

"Hey, Doc. I guess I'm last, huh?"

Suddenly, the drumming of the raindrops on the tent seemed so loud.

"Oh, don't worry about it." the nurse said, checking his pulse.

She checked his weight and listened to his lungs on a stethoscope.

"Weird." the nurse said.

"What is it?" Peter asked.

She showed him the clipboard with his blood pressure, heart rate, and other vital signs.

"Your vitals match up perfectly with two other gentlemen that we checked on today."

"Oh, those must be the two Peters."

"Pardon?"

"Yeah. Garfield and Maguire. They're from Queens, New York."

Most of the men here drank and smoked. Combined with their enhanced physiology and not drinking or smoking, the three Peters were in perfect health.

"Is that all?" Peter asked.

"That's everything." the nurse said cheerily. "Be safe during your first battle."
Peter grinned. "I'll try."

I couldn't stop seeing Tony Stark's face when I told him that Peter was forgotten by everyone. I didn't remember Peter being on Maul's ship, but I sure remembered Spider-Man. Tony hadn't been happy about Spider-Man being there. I don't think he would like it that he was here now, getting ready to fight Nazis.

It was too much for me.

"Why don't you head down to the mess hall." I said to the nurse. "Peter- er- I mean Private Holland and I need to have a private word."

Once she left, I signed Peter's health slip.

Ever since the accident, my hands would shake. It was just a fact of life now.

The army knew that, so I was going to be an oversight for all the new army surgeons fresh out of med school.

My hands trembled the worst when I was stressed. Now I could barely grip the pen to write my own name.

After several minutes of trying, I managed to scribble S. Strange.

Peter watched me patiently, probably wondering what I wanted to tell him.

I handed him the slip.

"Your tremors-" he said, staring at my hands. "Where'd you get them?"

I gave a tired sigh.

"It was during my neurosurgeon days. I was texting and driving on a mountain road in a bad storm. And being the cocky, son-of-a-gun that I was, I didn't tell my colleague to talk to me later."

I slumped into a nearby chair.

"And you can guess the rest from there."

The story wasn't as devastating as it was then. Now I had found a new purpose in life. Although I don't know how noble it was.

He looked at me intuitively.

"So they saved your life, but not your hands."

"Yeah."

"And you couldn't perform surgery, so you started training under the Ancient One."

Peter looked at me sympathetically. His facial expressions showed a happy youthfulness, but there was a dark pain hiding behind his eyes and smile that ruined the effect.

He was only seventeen, but carried himself like he was my age.

Peter wasn't the only teenager here. But he was the only teenage soldier that had seen too much before the battle even started.

In my dream, I should've apologized to Tony for not watching Peter better.

I should've apologized to Peter. I had ruined his life.

It had just occurred to me that Peter was basically a younger version of Tony.

He had his mind, his selflessness, his brilliance.

I imagined that this was what Tony Stark was like when he was that age.

But then he grew into a greedy millionaire that needed to be held hostage by terrorists before he saw the error of his ways.

Would Peter become like that? I doubt he would. But what if I had sent him on that path?

The dream was nagging at my conscience, so much so that I had to say something.

"Has anyone ever told you how much you're like Stark?" I asked.

He was taken aback.

"Uh, what?"

I fought the urge to hit myself.

"Sorry. That came out weird."

"Well, it's just that-"

"You're all clear. You can go."

"No." he said.

His face flushed up.

"I mean, thanks. But-"

"Tony Stark was a cocky rich dude and you're nothing like that?" I finished for him.

When people in my generation thought of Tony Stark, three words came to mind; narcissistic, arrogant, and cocky.

Believe it or not, that's what one disgruntled patient compared me to him as she stormed out of my office.

It wasn't a compliment.

I should've just kept my mouth shut.

"No. I mean, after he died, everyone was expecting me to be the next Iron Man. They were all like, 'those are some big shoes to fill' and stuff like that. Even he wanted me to be better. I know Tony had his party days, but when I came around, he was Iron Man. He was my hero. There was no way anybody could top what he did. And then…he died." Peter choked up on words. "And all eyes were on me and have been until…."

Until the memory wipe, I expected him to say.

But the sad, distant look in his eyes faded slightly as he tried to smile.

"So thank you for that. It really meant a lot to me."

Suddenly, Loki appeared in the doorway.

"Just got word from the higher-ups. Peter, you might want to pass this down to the other two."

Peter suddenly turned serious and stern.

He was like that when Loki was around, I'd noticed.

"This is just a simple ambush on a military base. As far as we know, Hydra is not operating from there."

Our plan was to find the tesseract as soon as possible, charge the tempad, and get out of here. We didn't want to wait out the entire war until it was in the hands of the US government.

The only way for our plan to work was if we stormed a Hydra base or research facility. I was beginning to think that that wouldn't happen until D-Day, but I didn't tell the others.

"So nothing crazy, Peter." Loki cautioned. "I'd stay in the back of the ranks if I were you. Remember, we want to get to the 60's alive."

Peter bit down on his lip. At first, I assumed he thought it'd be cowardly, but it was something Loki said.

"I'll tell the other Peters."

I could feel Tony's spirit glaring at me from above. Like my lost relationship with Christine, I could do more for the kid.

"Stay safe." was all I could manage.

He nodded, but rudely brushed past Loki.

We watched as Peter walked to where the rest of the troops were assembling. It had stopped raining, but puddles were scattered everywhere.

"I think he hates me." Loki said as we walked outside.

"Hates you?" I said sarcastically. "Now why would you think that?"

But it was true. Peter 1 did his best to avoid Loki at all costs. When they were bunking in the same room together, Peter made sure he had the bed furthest from him. If he had to talk to him, he kept his sentences short and simple.

And I couldn't tell Loki it wasn't personal. It was personal.

Loki shrugged.

"I'll go find Wanda. They'll want this tent taken down in half an hour, you know."

"I'm grabbing a bite to eat first." I said.

He scoffed. "I didn't know you had a fondness for canned meat that tastes more like rubber."

Since meat was rationed, the army used cans of spam for meals. Everyone complained about it.

"Then in that case, they should ship the spam meat back home. Rubber's scarce these days. It'll make great bike tires."

Wanda walked over to us, coming from the logistics tent.

She handed me a clipboard.

"Here's the inventory list, FYI."

Loki and I both gave her a weird look.

"What?"

"Careful when you use that. You don't know who might be listening." Loki said.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "Oh, I see. You don't want me scaring anyone with 21st century slang."

Off in the distance, the troops were assembling.

Loki, Wanda, and I stood silently, watching them.

"Do they have their web shooters?" Wanda asked.

"They're in their footlockers." I said.

The growing knot in my stomach got more and more uncomfortable.

I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to happen.

In this day and age, most Americans joined the army either because they had to or they wanted to. Either way, they were ready to die.

All three Peter Parkers had been Spider-Man for years.

They were ready to die, but we needed them for when the time came for the next phase of our plan.

Tony accused me of thinking that everyone was my pawn. In this case, that wasn't true.

If the Spider-Men were killed in action, Wanda, Loki, and I could carry out the plan without them.

But it would just feel wrong.

Thunder rumbled in the clouds, warning us of the upcoming battle.

The dream at the beginning of the chapter is my take on how Tony would react if he found out what happened after No Way Home.

I know the final statement about people's reasons for enlisting doesn't apply to everyone. I was just generalizing for this story's sake.

Thanks for reading!