"Oww. Did you have to punch me so hard?" The chairman of PLANT flinched as he touched his swollen eye.

"Quit your whining! You should be thanking me for giving you such a light punch. Normally a punch from me would have sent you straight for the hospital!" Cagalli snapped. "Besides, this is your entire fault. Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to invade other people's personal space?"

Athrun sighed, deciding it would be very unwise to argue with her without receiving another black eye---or worse. "Well, looking at the bright side, at least with this eye those fangirls might lose interest in me..."

Cagalli almost snorted. Hah! Fat chance. His black eye did nothing to decrease the level of his gorgeous-o-meter. The proof being the admiring glances thrown at him while they walked past a group of giggling teenage girls. They kept ogling Athrun as if they wanted to eat him alive. And for some strangle, unexplainable reason, Cagalli didn't like it one bit.

Of course, she was not at all jealous. So what if she was struck by a sudden, irrational urge to bash them over the head with a nail-studded baseball bat for staring at HER Athrun? It meant nothing. Absolutely nothing! After all, it would be professional suicide to break the first and most important rule of every 'How not to jeopardize your job' handbook:

Don't grow feelings for your boss.

Athrun's voice broke into her musings. "Well, regardless of the condition of my eye, we must still proceed with our date. Please state our next destination."

"Okay, I've thought about it long and hard. But now I've finally decided. Our next destination is..." Imaginary drum rolls sounded in the background as Cagalli raised a fist and announced, "...the supermarket!"

Athrun nearly fell over. "What in blazes---Are you OUT OF YOUR MIND? Whoever heard of dates being conducted in a supermarket?"

Cagalli stared at him if his mind had spontaneously combusted. "What the heck are you talking about? A supermarket isn't a dating destination; it's a place to buy one's groceries. Are you sure you weren't born a century late?"

He glowered at her. "Just because I don't know a McDougal's from a McDonald's, doesn't mean I'm completely ignorant. I simply meant a supermarket isn't a suitable place for a date!"

"That should be obvious. Our date is temporarily off." Her lips curled sarcastically. "If your reaction to the meat-ridden menu at McDonald's is any indication, can you honestly say it to my face that your fridge isn't stocked with only broccoli, spinach, tofu and other varieties of vegetables I failed to mention?"

"My refrigerator does NOT have tofu," he said defensively. "In fact, I hate tofu."

Cagalli raised an eyebrow. "And the broccoli and spinach...?"

His response was a sheepish grin. Bingo!

"Zala, I don't know about you, but I don't intend to live my life off vegetables and health products. As a mammal and a human being, it is my god-given right to eat as much meat and fat as I want to. Why don't you join the rest of mankind and live unhealthily for once in your life?"

Athrun folded his arms over his chest and stood his ground. "No. If you wish to cut down your lifespan because of your lousy eating habits, then fine by me. But I refuse to join in mankind's cholesterol lunacy."

She rolled her eyes. "You're a stubborn man, Zala. But I'm not going to argue. Either way, I still want to restock your meat-free refrigerator with animal protein. But don't worry. I'll pay for my own food."

She wore that now-familiar 'let me have my way OR ELSE' look. And Athrun knew he was beaten.

As they started their walk to the adjacent supermarket, Cagalli's conscience nagged at her. And you know how annoying a conscience could be. Really, Athrun had no lewd intentions when he'd wiped the tomato sauce off her face. He'd surprised her, that's all. Perhaps she'd been too hard on him...

I hate guilt. And I hate my conscience.

She sighed.

"Hey, Zala?"

"What is it?"

"Even though you richly deserved that punch I gave you...I'm sorry I smacked you so hard. Next time, I will attempt to make my punches lighter."

Athrun blinked at the unexpected apology, but he smiled nonetheless. "Apology accepted...I think." He continued smiling---until the rest of her words sunk into his brain. "What do you mean NEXT TIME?"

Unbeknownst to the couple, someone was spying on them from behind a nearby lamppost, recording their every move with a videocam...

………………………………………………………….

Undercover Fiancé Wanted, Desperately

Chapter Five

………………………………………………………….

In the supermarket, Athrun and Cagalli stood facing their latest battle: choosing a cereal box.

The emerald-eyed chairman inspected the shelf full of cereal boxes for a thoughtful moment before grabbing one down. "We'll get this. It has all the essential vitamins and minerals without a lot of sugar. It's healthy and---WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Cagalli was grabbing another box of cereals down and settling it into their cart. He quickly seized the box from her and made a face when he read the label. "Yuck! You've got to be kidding! Do you have any idea what this is?"

She stared blankly at him. "It's a breakfast cereal."

Athrun glared at her and waved the offending box in her face. "It's not just a breakfast cereal. It's COCO POPS! Don't you know this junk is made of pure sugar? It would rot your teeth while you were still chewing on it! Do you want to have all your teeth pulled out by the time you're thirty?"

The blond rolled her eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Athrun Zala. Didn't you read the contents? It's chock-full of calcium. It's perfectly healthy for human consumption."

"That's what the manufacturers WANT you to think!" he argued heatedly. "But you can't believe everything they say! What if they told you that Santa Clause lives on Mars and not the South Pole, would you believe them? Of course not! According to Reader's Digest, Coco Pops is high in sugar and low in fiber. In short, it's a death trap waiting to happen!"

Cagalli snorted and snatched the cereal box back from him. "First of all, Santa Clause lives on the NORTH Pole, not the South Pole. Secondly, you're exaggerating. And thirdly, I refuse to eat something just because it's good for me. I like to live life dangerously."

Athrun rolled his eyes heavenward. Sandwiched between crazy fan girls stalking his every move and a violent tomboy with homicidal tendencies was living life dangerously enough for him, thank you very much.

They stopped again at the dairy section. Glancing down the row of milk cartons, Athrun carefully examined each label, and then set a plastic container of skim milk in the cart.

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Okay, Zala. Which one is the complete opposite of the one you've chosen?"

"What do you mean?" he asked without taking his eyes off the yogurt labels.

"You've probably chosen the healthiest one, so I want the one that tastes the best."

He abandoned his search for the least health-hazardous yogurt containers to throw Cagalli a frustrated glance. "This skim milk is nonfat and protein fortified with added vitamin A and D. It also includes---"

"Ugh! PLEASE don't give me a boring sermon on nutrition facts! Either way, that stuff looks more water than milk. I prefer milk rich with cream and actually TASTE like milk, NOT filled with vitamin A or whatever dietetic values you're so obsessed about." She picked out a carton of whole milk and dumped it on the opposite side of the cart from the healthy things Athrun had chosen.

He gaped at her. "Do you have a death wish?"

"Better to die young knowing how good food tastes like, than to live long eating yucky food," she retorted.

He glared at her.

She glared back.

It was an epic clash between Vegetarian versus Carnivore, and neither was willing to give up the glaring contest without a fight.

"CAGALLI!"

Well...unless it was interrupted by an uninvited guest.

Reluctantly, the blond tore her gaze away from Athrun's and caught sight of a horrendously familiar-looking person striding towards them. It was a tall, lanky male with lavender eyes and dark brown hair...

Oh God, no!

Cagalli's mouth fell open. "Kira?"

…………………………………………….

"Oh, he's so cute," gushed a brunette to her friend. "I wonder if he's single..."

The object of their attention was a blond waiter carrying a tray of drinks over to their table. Dearka Elthman overheard their conversation and flashed them a charming grin.

The air-headed bimbos giggled in response.

Since Dearka was hopelessly useless when it came to cooking, Milly had given him the task of serving food for the customers. "It's something so simple, even YOU can't screw it up," she had muttered. Yzak, on the other hand, was amazingly gifted with the culinary utensils (as well as attracting unwanted female attention, much to his dismay) and was appointed head chef. From the moment the public realized there were two new talented additions to the staff of Milly's café, the customers had tripled (although Milly had a niggling suspicion it was mostly because her two new staffs happened to be yummyliciously drop-dead gorgeous).

Miriallia was happy with the arrangement. She was happy with her growing customers. What she did NOT feel happy about was the attention Dearka was getting.

"Hey, gorgeous, are you taken?" The brunette winked her eye at Dearka.

The auburn-haired girl stood at the open doorway of the kitchen, shooting a glare of doom in their direction. How DARE he flirt with the customers when he should be serving them instead!

An impish little voice inside her head laughed and tsk-tsked.

-Why should you feel angry, Milly? Aren't you supposed to be overjoyed that he's finally showering his annoying attention on women other than yourself?

-Because he has a job to do, that's why! And that job does NOT include playing Romeo with every Juliet he sees!

-Of course. But you have to admit, he isn't the one doing the flirting...

-Humph! That hideous, despicable cad could flirt with every female he meets for all I care.

-What a hypocrite. One minute you disapprove of his flirting, then the next you WANT him to act like a Casanova. Make up your mind, will you?

-I am NOT a hypocrite!

-Fine, you're not a hypocrite---you're a compulsive liar. By the way, unless you need to see the optician for a pair of glasses, Elthman isn't hideous. In fact, doesn't he fit the description of tall, dark and handsome down pat?

-He's dark and handsome all right. He's only handsome when it's dark.

-So you don't like him even a little?

-Of course I like him...as target practice, that is.

-Ah...so you don't feel at all jealous of those bimbos flirting with him?

If her inner voice had a human body, Milly would have cheerfully throttled its neck. Of course she wasn't jealous! If she was, it would equal romantic feelings...which was IMPOSSIBLE because the only feelings she had for Dearka Elthman were hate, irritation and disgust---all in that order.

-Well, if that's what you want to think...

Gritting her teeth, Milly grabbed a mop from the nearby closet and mopped the floor with more force than necessary.

Dearka was picking up the serving tray and walking into the kitchen when he spotted Milly. Since business was slowing for the afternoon, he decided now was the perfect time to execute Plant B of Operation Charm Milly.

Yzak, who was making coffee at the counter, rolled his eyes when his blond-haired friend headed straight for Miriallia to fulfill his long-awaited death wish. Oh well, the Joule smirked and propped his chin on his hand, might as well sit back and enjoy the show.

"Milly, how are you?"

The auburn-haired girl looked up from her mopping and glared at Dearka. "I suggest you stand ten feet further away from me, Elthman. I hear stupidity is sometimes a contagious disease."

He frowned. "But stupidity isn't a disease."

"You're right. It's a deadly sin. And you've committed it too many times to count."

Dearka shook his head sadly. "All I wanted to do was make you accept me as I am..."

"Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?" she snarled.

"I don't believe in being artificial."

"Of course. You want people to hate you for yourself."

"Milly, that hurt me right here." He pressed a hand to his heart dramatically.

"Why don't you go and squirt lemon juice in your eyes? It's probably the only way you can make yourself smart."

The blond sighed. "Give me a little credit. I do have some intelligence."

"I knew it! You're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!"

He shrugged offhandedly. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Gah! What would it take for that blasted man to leave her alone! A whack over the head with her mop? She gritted her teeth. "Elthman, if you were any denser, I swear you would photosynthesis in the sunlight!"

"Unfortunately, I don't think I have that ability."

"Please don't think. It may sprain your brain." Her mouth twisted in mock sympathy. "Then again, I don't think you even have a brain in the first place."

"A human being cannot survive without a brain, Milly."

She smiled oh-so-sweetly. "That's right. So you must be from some outside species. Tell me, as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Are you implying that I am an alien?"

"Elthman, if you donated your brain to science it'd set civilization back 50 years." With a roll of her eyes, Milly handed the mop to Dearka. "In case your ignorant mind doesn't know, this is a cleaning device known as a MOP. Rather than wasting your time babbling, why don't you make yourself useful and mop the kitchen floor?"

Dearka blinked. "Err...but I---"

"And I expect everything to be done by the time I come back from my shift." With that, Milly brushed past him to resume her role as waitress.

Yzak tapped his fingers on the counter with a wry expression. "With a performance like that, I can now understand why she's been treating you like garbage all these weeks."

"Oh, I can tell that she wants me."

Yzak scoffed. "She wants you all right---dead and buried."

Dearka waved his hand dismissively. "Don't be silly. She's just playing hard to get."

"I see you're still suffering from a state of disillusionment and denial." The silver-haired man rolled his eyes and poured himself a cup of coffee. "You're the perfect example of why man-haters exist in this world."

"HEY! That's highly insulting! I'm a rare specimen of the perfect gentleman." Dearka crossed his arms indignantly. "Men like me don't grow on trees, you know."

"How true, they normally swing under them." Yzak drank his coffee placidly and ducked when a tablecloth was thrown at his face.

…………………………………………….

Kira, what the heck are YOU doing here?

Cagalli heard alarm bells ringing in her head as her brother began to descend upon them like a predator that had just spotted its prey. In this instance: Athrun Zala. Oh God, this was a disaster she'd never even thought of! It could potentially ruin everything she'd worked so hard to achieve!

Athrun frowned. "Kira? Who's Kira?"

"I am." The violet-eyed brunette stopped in front of them. He smiled openly when he greeted the blond but kept a careful eye on Athrun. "Hi, Cagalli. Long time no see. Who's this guy?"

Cagalli mentally groaned and smacked her forehead. Trust her bother to kick right into protective mode when another male was within two feet of her. She plastered a fake smile on her face and gestured to her employer. "Err...His name is Athrun Zala. Athrun, this is Kira Yamato."

"I see. Nice to meet you. Now why are you standing so closely to my sis---Ouch!" Kira yelped when Cagalli elbowed him painfully in the ribs. "Hey, why did you do that for?"

The blond smiled through gritted teeth. "Kira, it's great to see you too. How's your sister?"

"Eh?" Kira blinked in confusion. "Cagalli, what are you talking about? Aren't you my sis---Ouch!" He cried out again and jumped up and down when his sister stamped on his foot, HARD.

"Yes, how's your sister? I mean, your sister IS a good friend of mine." The blond gazed at him meaningfully. Hopefully her brother would get the message before she was forced to stomp on his other foot.

Luckily for Kira's foot, he finally caught the hint and cleared his throat. "Oh yeah, it's been a while since I last saw you, Cagalli. I mean, you ARE my sister's best friend after all." He forced a laugh but the look on his face said 'Cagalli, you have a LOT of explaining to do!'

Athrun looked from Kira to Cagalli, and then narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Cagalli, is this another one of your 'boyfriends'? Why are you on first name basis?" he demanded.

She gave him an exasperated look. "You call ME by my first name."

That's it. It was time to assert his higher authority here. "Of course I can call you by your first name. I'M YOUR BOSS! And as your boss, I demand to know what this man means to you. Is he your friend or not?"

"No---I mean, YES! He IS a friend of mine!" The tomboyish blond nodded her head vigorously with every word she said. "As Kira mentioned, his sister is my friend but it's been so long since I've talked to them. Zala, would you mind if I have a minute to catch up with old times with my bro---I mean, friend Kira?"

The chairman wore his you have got to be kidding expression. "Would I mind? Of course I'd mind! Err...I mean, it's okay. I don't mind at all." His 'higher authority' was instantly flattened in the face of Cagalli's bulldozing glare.

"Well then, I'll be back in a minute," she said.

Athrun opened his mouth to voice his protest. "But what about our date---"

"Oh, I knew you'd understand."

"But I---"

"Just wait here."

"But I---"

"I'll see you later."

"But I---"

"Bye, Zala!"

Cagalli dragged the bewildered Kira along with her, leaving behind the chairman with his mouth hanging open in mid-protest.

Athrun's eye twitched. "What just happened...?"

…………………………………………….

Phew! It's FINALLY time for my break.

Miriallia sighed as passed the tray to the next waitress. She was in desperate need of a cup of java. She picked up a conveniently placed cup from the counter and filled it with energy-inducing coffee from the percolator. I'd better check up on Elthman now. Who knows what kind of horrible calamity befell the kitchen while he's there?

Milly walked over to the kitchen and sipped her coffee...

...Then spat it out when she saw the scene displayed before her eyes.

"WHAT IN BLAZES DID YOU DO TO THE KITCHEN?"

The culprit stood with a guilty smile on his face, the mop in his hand was practically hairless and the floor was overly wet as if he'd dumped all the water from the bucket to the floor! And was she seeing things, or did the water splash on all the counters and shelves as well?

"Explain. NOW," she gritted.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you," Dearka replied sheepishly. "I'm sorry but I've never cleaned a floor with this---" He paused, forgetting what the stick in his hand was called "---this thingamajig in my entire life."

A vein throbbed in her temples. "It's a mop."

"Right, I've never used a 'mop' in my entire life...But hey, at least I tried my best," he added brightly.

There was a short silence, in which Miriallia carefully placed her coffee cup on the counter and breathed in very deeply. Stay calm, Milly. Think happy thoughts. Think of spring, butterflies, kittens, rainbows, KILLING DEARKA, STRANGLING DEARKA, STOMPING ON DEARKA'S DEAD BODY...

Oh, forget it. With a bloodthirsty gleam in her eyes, the auburn-haired girl snatched the mop from his hand and advanced like a seething bull.

Dearka sweatdropped and backed off slowly. "Umm, Milly, what do you think you're doing?" he chuckled nervously.

Her dark face loomed menacingly over his. "Something I should have done a LONG time ago..."

…………………………………………….

Thirty minutes. He'd waited thirty minutes and STILL Cagalli hadn't emerged.

For a whole half hour, Athrun had continuously paced the floor impatiently while glancing at his wristwatch every few seconds. Even if the floor beneath him cracked open with all his pacing, he still wouldn't have noticed. All he could think about was: Why isn't Cagalli here yet? What's keeping her so long?

The saner, more rational part of him accused him of being a paranoid worrywart. Cagalli could handle herself perfectly well. Anyhow, who was the one hired to play undercover bodyguard fiancé? Not him! So why in blazes was HE the one acting like a...

...Like a possessive fiancé?

That question had him stumped. He sighed, wondering if slamming his head against the wall would solve the problem. Gah! Truly, that woman is designed to drive me nuts!

Next to the supermarket was a small florist stall. All the flowers were attractive, but for some reason, only one particular bouquet caught his attention. It was composed of an assorted spray of brightly-colored flowers in an elaborate bouquet. When he wasn't worrying about Cagalli and god-knows-what happened to her, Athrun would unknowingly stare at those flowers.

An elderly woman, obviously the florist, noticed his staring and bounded over. "Hello, sir. Do you like that bouquet?"

He blinked. "Huh? Oh yes. I'd like to buy it please."

"So who's this special someone you want to surprise it with?" she asked as she gave him the bouquet.

Athrun couldn't control the silly smile that spread across his face as he recalled the image of an adorably pouting Cagalli back at McDonald's. "Just a girl..."

"Girlfriend, huh? That is one lucky girl." The florist sighed wistfully, wishing she was twenty years younger and single so that she could lasso this handsome man for herself. "You know, you look mighty familiar...almost as sexy as that gorgeous hunk on Playboy's cover."

"Oh, she's not my girl---" Athrun's jaw dropped wide open "---I'M ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY?"

The florist blinked. "Well, he looks like you. See that bookstore over there. They're selling the latest Playboy magazines...and you're all over their cover."

He gulped, summoned all his guts, and turned to glance at the bookstore. True enough, his nude picture was splashed all over the covers of the popular porno magazine.

Athrun was beyond mortified. By now, his reputation was probably stomped all over, tossed in the incinerator, shredded through the paper machine into itty bitty pieces and dragged through cow manure! He groaned and covered his face with his hands. Could things get ANY worse...?

"ATHRUN, ATHRUN, ATHRUN!"

Yes, it can.

"ATHRUN DARLING, WHERE ARE YOU?"

Oh God. How'd those fangirls follow me here? I felt sure they couldn't track me down...

Athrun's self-preservation instincts promptly kicked into gear. He grabbed the flowers from the florist and proceeded to run like his legs were on fire for the nearest exit.

Exactly .56 seconds later, he came back to the startled florist, handed her money for the flowers, and said a polite "Thank you", before running off again.

The florist blinked and then smiled. "What a courteous young man. You don't see that everyday." She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that a herd of screeching fangirls was running past her flower stall after the chairman.

Yep. You don't see that everyday.

…………………………………………….

In a corner of the now passably dry kitchen, Dearka winced as he touched the bandage around his head. "Ugh. I think I need some aspirin later. My head still feels like it's ringing..."

Yzak rolled his eyes. "Why do you persist in this self-destructive behavior? If you really want to die so badly, I can easily arrange it with the undertaker and save us all the grief of waiting."

"And I suppose you'll be the first to be there for my funeral?" asked the blond irritably.

"When you die, I'd like to go to your funeral, but I'll probably have to go to work that day. I believe in business before pleasure."

Dearka sighed and rubbed his aching temples. "Fine, you win. I'm not in the mood to be picked to pieces. Since you're on a break, can you cook something for lunch? I'm famished."

"Why don't you ring a bell for maid service? If there's no answer, then starve," Yzak deadpanned.

The tanned blond sighed dramatically. "Or I suppose I can cook..."

A mental picture of a nuclear explosion rocking the atmosphere popped up in his mind, and the Joule decided he didn't relish the idea of being blasted to smithereens because of an incompetent idiot and his hazardous cooking skills. So with a toxic glare cast in the smirking blonde's direction, Yzak reluctantly snatched the spatula off the hook and started cooking.

Dearka was silent for a moment as he watched the silver-haired man cook an omelet. And then he asked, "Hey, Yzak. People with allergic rhinitis...they're too sensitive to smell flowers, right?"

The silver-haired man snorted. "Isn't that what being allergic to flowers is all about?"

"Well, does that mean they'll never be able to get close enough to see a real flower?"

"Not unless they plan to commit suicide using their allergies as a handy excuse when the Grim Reaper comes to drag their souls to hell for going against the Ten Commandments," was the wry reply.

Dearka frowned. "So they can't?"

Yzak gave a long-suffering sigh and glanced irritably at the blond. "Elthman, if you were any slower, you'd be in reverse. Of course they can't! Would an allergic person be affected by a FAKE flower?"

"Hmm. I guess you're right. I'll just have to..." Dearka stopped talking when he smelled an odd aroma in the air. "Hey...something's burning."

His warning came too late. The silver-haired chef cursed a foul four-letter expletive as he tried to rescue the overcooked omelet.

Dearka couldn't help it. He laughed. "I can't believe it! This is the first time you've ever ruined your cooking."

"Ha, ha, ha, that's very funny---almost as funny as me not making you another omelet." With a vengeful smirk, Yzak carried over the burnt egg to the table and dumped it on Dearka's plate.

Dearka made a look of disgust and opened his mouth to complain...then his attention was sidetracked when he saw a customer bumping into Miriallia. The waitress who was carrying a tray laden with food almost fell over but the wavy-haired man quickly reached out to steady her.

"Miss, are you alright?" he asked worriedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't watch where I was going and---" Milly's face turned bright pink when she saw who it was. "T-Tolle Koenig?"

Tolle looked startled. "You know my name?"

Know your name? Heck, I know EVERYTHING about you. I ALWAYS see you coming here to drink coffee in the morning. You're my first crush! But Milly's vocal cords had suddenly short-circuited in the face of the Prince Charming of her dreams. All she could stammer was a shy, "Oh, err, yes. Thanks for saving me."

From the sidelines, Dearka and Yzak watched in dumbfounded disbelief her miraculous transformation from a no-nonsense businesswoman into a blushing schoolgirl in Tolle's mere presence. "Did you just see what I just see?" Dearka sputtered incredulously.

His companion arched an elegant eyebrow. "If you mean, have I just witnessed the sadistic girl who's been verbally abusing you all day suddenly become a mush of putty in another man's hands, then yes, I suppose I did."

The tanned blond crossed his arms, glaring kitchen knives and daggers at his new rival. "What's so special about HIM? I mean, I'm attractive, intellectually gifted, wealthy, athletic, and talented..."

"You forgot to add humble."

Dearka deliberately ignored the sarcastic remark. "...So what does he have that I don't have? Is there something wrong with me?"

Yzak's lips curled wryly. "Oh, there's nothing wrong with you---nothing that a miracle couldn't fix."

Dearka gave him a very dirt look.

Yzak paused. "On second thought, a miracle wouldn't be enough to help you. Perhaps no one would ever notice your brain-dead condition if you try imitating humans by practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control..."

This time, the tablecloth didn't miss.

…………………………………………….

"HE'S YOUR WHAT?"

Cagalli wasn't fast enough in covering her ears when Kira let out a yell that exploded her eardrums. She knew he wouldn't exactly be thrilled over the news, but he didn't need to sound so mad! She fought to keep her own temper in check as she addressed her huffy brother. "Oh relax, Kira. You're acting as if the apocalypse is descending upon us---and that won't happen for at least another century."

"Relax?" Kira, usually the calm and sensible twin, was seeing red all over. "Not only did I find out that you are engaged, but you also stayed overnight in HIS HOUSE! What if he compromises you or something?"

Cagalli's lips twitched in amusement. "Actually, it should be the other way around. I'm the one doing the compromising. As his undercover bodyguard, I'm theoretically supposed to scare off his groupies by posing as his fiancé."

"I get the bodyguard part---but as his fiancé?"

"Kira, I'm beginning to think 'fiancé' is your favorite phrase," said Cagalli wryly. "Besides, I don't recall needing your say-so to have a fiancé. Especially not a pretend one! And stop overreacting about Zala. He's been a perfect gentleman to me---well, not counting the fact that he kissed me without permission and saw me naked. But otherwise..."

His jaw dropped open. "He KISSED you and saw you NAKED?" No one could ever accuse Kira of being violent. But suddenly he was contemplating the idea of buying a cleaver from the nearest kitchenware store and butchering someone...Or more accurately, butchering a certain green-eyed man for daring to pull perverted moves on his sister.

"Yes, but it's all part of my job. And don't look at me like that! I'm his undercover bodyguard and it's the only way to discourage those neurotic fangirls of his."

Kira took a deep, calming breath and lowered his voice. "Look, I understand you want to impress our father with your capabilities, but I don't think it's worth it. You're the heiress to a multimillion-dollar company and---"

Cagalli quickly clamped a hand over his big mouth. She looked left and right and when she thought it was safe, she hissed, "Are you NUTS? Do you want to blow my cover? Until I complete my job, I'm not your sister or an heiress. I don't want him to know I'm even remotely related to you. Never mention it again or I'll rip your esophagus out. Is that clear?" Her voice lowered in that dangerous 'I'll-dump-your-horribly-scarred-corpse-in-a-garbage-disposal-if-you-disagree-with-me' way.

For the sake of preserving his body parts, Kira sweatdropped and nodded.

"THERE HE IS! IT'S OUR BELOVED ATHRUN!"

"I LOVE YOU, ATHRUN!"

The blond stiffened when she heard that too-familiar declaration of love that always spelled 'fangirl trouble'. She looked around from their corner and saw a throng of screaming harpies surrounding Athrun like a pack of starving wolves---with Athrun as chow.

Cagalli's eyes rounded. "ZALA?"

Kira followed her dumbfounded gaze. "THAT'S Athrun Zala's fangirls?" Hmm. Suddenly he was starting to have qualms about surrendering his sister into the questionable hands of a chairman with lust-crazed groupie problems...

"He's in trouble." Cagalli narrowed her eyes. "I'll have to save him."

"No, wait. It's too dangerous! I can't allow you to risk your life like this!" Her overprotective brother blocked her way of escape.

The blond looked exasperated. "Really! You're almost as bad as Zala! I'll be fine. Give me a little credit. Don't tell me even YOU, my own brother, don't trust my ability to protect myself."

"Oh, I trust you," he assured her. "I just don't trust Zala and his fangirls."

Stubborn. Yes, it was definitely a family trait. But Cagalli was more mule-headed than Kira any day. She sighed regretfully and said, "I'm sorry, Kira. But you leave me no choice."

"Cagalli, what are you---?"

Kira didn't have a chance to finish his sentence before she slammed her fist against his jaw.

…………………………………………….

"L-O-V-E, LOVE ME, ATHRUN!"

"ATHRUN, PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME!"

Athrun heard the horribly familiar screams of his legion of fangirls and glanced over his shoulder. He was flabbergasted when he saw that his I-love-Athrun fan club had DOUBLED since their last encounter. He turned beseeching eyes to heaven. "I'm not going to survive this, am I?"

"Oh, think positively, Zala. At least you'd leave behind a good-looking corpse."

Athrun's shoulders sagged in relief when he saw it was his bodyguard Cagalli. "What took you so long?"

"Oh, Kira and I had a minor disagreement so I...err...had to knock some sense into him." Literally. She felt a prick in her conscience as she thought of her brother lying unconscious somewhere...

"Are you sure that's all you did...?" he asked suspiciously.

What? Did he want a blow-by-blow account of how she punched Kira and dragged his comatose body into a secluded spot where the police wouldn't be alerted of an attempted murder case? Cagalli sighed and rolled her eyes. "Now is not the time to fly into one of your jealous rages, Zala. We have more important things to worry about."

"I agree." Athrun paused to glare at her. "And I am NOT jealous! Just...concerned, that's all."

"DARLING ATHRUN, WE'RE COMING FOR YOU!"

Cagalli narrowed her eyes and stepped in front of Athrun protectively. The chairman looked surprised when he observed for the first time that the blond did not have a bat in her hands to beat up the fangirls. "Err...Cagalli, shouldn't we either be running for our lives or fighting them off with a weapon?"

The normally aggressive tomboy smirked in reply. "Just trust your damsel in shining armor, oh knight in distress. I have a plan."

Athrun looked at her incredulously. Short of a miracle from God or a group of soldiers armed with the most state-of-the-art weaponry, what plan on earth could hold such awesome power that it would stop a flock of insane, hormone-driven fangirls?

All of a sudden, Cagalli widened her eyes, pointed the side with astonishment and exclaimed very loudly, "Omigod, I can't believe it! Look there! That retail store is selling EVERYTHING for HALF-PRICE and MORE! But it'll only last for an hour. I'd better hurry before anyone else sees it!"

The ramping mob of Athrun fanatics suddenly screeched to a halt, exchanged looks with each other, and then ran screaming as they took a detour for the mall.

Athrun sweatdropped. "Eh?"

"Oh sweet, naïve, innocent Zala." Our blond heroine crossed her arms and sighed exaggeratedly. "Don't you know most women are suckers for fashion and clothing? They even make it a hobby to window-shop! It's the oldest trick in the book!" Cagalli looked down and suddenly noticed that the chairman was clutching something tightly in his hand. She frowned and asked, "What's that?"

"Huh?" He blinked and opened his clenched fist. In his haste to escape, the bouquet of flowers had fallen off until all he had left in his hand was only a small, drooping yellow blossom.

Her amber eyes widened. "It's a flower!"

"It's a bit wilted..." His cheeks inflamed. God, did he feel embarrassed. This small, insignificant thing was hardly a fine offering for any woman!

"For me?" Cagalli asked in an awe-struck tone.

He looked down awkwardly. "It isn't much of a gift. It was beautiful when I first saw it at the florist, but, well..."

"It's still beautiful."

It wasn't really. All Athrun could see was a measly shriveled flower. He shifted from foot to foot uneasily and wished the wretched thing would just disappear. "It's a poor offering. I'll buy you another---"

"No, it's a wonderful gift!" She held out her hand for it and Athrun shoved the crushed blossom at her with all the smoothness of a rusty robot. Her eyes softened as a slow smile formed on her lips. "This is the first time a guy had ever given me a flower...Thank you, Athrun."

She'd thanked him. She'd said his first name. She'd smiled at him. It was a lethal combination that suddenly made Athrun feel a god-awful urge to kiss her senseless. Not that kissing her would be god-awful...but the urge confused the heck out of him.

It's just pure, hormonal chemical reaction triggered by constant exposure to a member of the opposite sex, his logical mind rationalized. Cagalli was the first woman who was ever actively involved in his life since he buried himself into his work as a chairman years ago. So it was only natural that he'd lust after her...

That's right. Lust. That had got to be it.

But more importantly...should he give in to his primal urges?

Well, whatever his answer might have been he would never know, because somebody suddenly jumped out of the bushes and waved her videocam gleefully. She was the same reporter who'd single-handedly ruined Athrun's reputation and she needed a new story for the tabloids. Well, she certainly had one now!

"Aha!" The paparazzi reporter smirked. "Proof that the infamous chairman Athrun Zala is engaged to a brutal Amazon woman. This is going to sell like hot cakes!"

Cagalli's shock lasted for a total of five seconds before she clenched her hand into a fist and growled, "Look, Miss Whoever-you-are, you have no right to call me names. If you persist in taunting me, do so at your own health risk. And who the heck do you think you are? Poking your head into other people's private lives! If you have any decency at all, you'll hand over the tape!"

The reporter's smirk widened, totally ignoring the death glares Cagalli was sending her. "Ah, so you must be the spitfire fiancé all those fangirls had been screaming blue murder about. So, what do you think of your engagement to the rich and powerful chairman of PLANT Corporations? Is it true you're a merciless gold-digger who blackmailed the chairman into choosing you as his fiancé?"

Cagalli's hackles rose. "Listen, if you don't quit your annoying questions and give me the videocam right now, I'm going to kick your---"

"Ah, Cagalli sweetie, it's fine. Let me handle this," Athrun interrupted hastily before his bodyguard completely lost her temper and inflicted bodily harm. He pulled the reporter aside where they had a short discussion.

Whatever magical word he'd spouted, the paparazzi reporter finally opened the videocam and handed Athrun the tape. However, Cagalli felt troubled when the reporter winked at Athrun and said, "Don't forget your promise, Mr. Zala sir."

The chairman pocketed the tape but still he looked edgy. Cagalli frowned and asked, "Zala, why are you so tense?"

"Who, me?" He laughed awkwardly. "I'm not tense...just terribly, terribly alert."

"Riiiight." She eyed him disbelievingly. "So what did you do in exchange for the tape?"

Athrun cleared his throat. "Oh, it's nothing much really. I just invited her to an engagement party, that's all."

Cagalli placed her hands on her waist and narrowed her eyes at him. "Alright Zala, spill it. What are you hiding?"

When he failed to come up with a response, the blond KNEW he was keeping something from her---and she had a sneaking suspicion she knew what it was. Cagalli's voice held a warning when she intoned, "Zala, exactly whose engagement party is it?"

Athrun swallowed hard, already hearing his funeral anthem playing in the background. The chairman silently prayed for a quick, painless death as he opened his mouth to seal his doom.

"Err...would you kill me if I said ours?"

…………………………………………….

(TBC)