Item 2: the box
Title: Accessories for men
Disclaimer: I do not own X/1999
Warnings: Mild cursing. It's humour (or not, that's up to you), so go along with the flow ;) Spoilers from X12 on.
Concept: I thought about writing some one-shots revolving around all those little items in X/1999. Erm, this little item didn't quite appear in it, but yeah… who cares anyway! Hah! Screw the concept! Mwahaha! sets fire to own concept
Staring: holds banner 'Seishirou & Subaru'
And cookies for Shinzona for beta-reading this stuff.
Thanks for all the reviews ;-) !
And now enjoy!
His beige coat was slowly getting drenched with each droplet of rain that got absorbed. But he did not mind though, as his mind was submerged with a myriad of thoughts about destiny and stuff. So he just stood there, outside, in the pouring rain, pondering on the situation's irony with a grin, and water, plastered all over his face.
"Ah, Subaru-kun. I always knew our paths will cross someday… again …"
It had only been a couple of hours since Subaru had been rushed to this hospital after his encounter with Dark Kamui, but nine years since he too had occupied a room for the very same incident in the very same hospital.
"But that they would be so mirrored…"
And the reason for his presence held more than a mere visit. Oh yes it did. Today, Sakurazuka Seishirou was a man with a mission. A very essential one, if he trusted Dark Kamui's sayings that was. The half-his-age brat had said some pretty damn disturbing things about Subaru's true wish. Nevertheless, Seishirou sworn that the day Subaru would run their relationship, cookies will be growing in his beloved sakura trees.
His masterplan had taken a tangible form in the paper bag he held so dearly in his palm. The key to turn the events into his advantage back again had been carefully wrapped in a box by some innocent soul and then tossed in the brown paper bag. A smug smile found its way up to his lips as he imagined Subaru's reaction upon seeing the content. He looked around with the discretion like only an assassin of his rank could pull off, and, noticing no-one was watching, squeezed the package to his chest like a child would its candy.
"Oh, my darlings! You will make my wish come true. Yes you will! Yes you will! Subaru-kun, prepare yourself… Eheum…"
He regained his composure with a slight cough before tossing his sunglasses on their customary place. No one could have guessed the gleam of mischief skilfully masked underneath.
"Hehe…Hm."
With big steps he rushed towards the main entry and made his way through the corridors. No point wasting time asking around what the number of Subaru's room was. If the wheel of destiny had continued to spun its way through their lives since Sunshine 60, then the room number must be half his. Seishirou mentally complemented himself upon showing such logic.
Holding the package containing the destined gift, Seishirou pushed the button of the shiny elevator and waited for the doors to open. His target: the Third Floor. He remembered so vividly. The moment he had flung himself forward to save his precious prey, his investment.
"Yes, Subaru-kun, you couldn't be hurt that day, could you. But it was all in vain since some couple of days later, even at full strength and top-health, you couldn't kill me. Hmph. But this time, oh this time… "
The chime of the elevator pulled him out of his musings, and he walked in the elevator, while waving cheerfully at some passer-by's… quite the deceptive man he was. When the elevators' doors smoothly closed, he turned around flipping his sunglasses off once again.
"Morons, they don't even know their lives were depending on my mood. Luckily for them, I was not in the mood…"
He watched his reflection in the mirror of the elevator, smirking like the bad guy he was.
"And this, my Subaru-kun … "
He held up the brown paperbag and permitted himself to sneak a peek.
"… is my gift to you! I know you would want it. If I can't ignite that fire of destruction in your heart just by mere words with painful underlying tones, I am more than willing to sneak into your hospital room. You won't resist the urge to throttle me after this little stunt, that much I can guarantee!"
The elevator came to a halt and its doors slid open. The assassin popped his head out, before glancing left and right. He waited for the doors to start closing again before sliding out at the last second.
"Smooth… still got it… yeah!"
He made his way to Subaru's room, already being excited at seeing his prey again, sleeping like the little white angel locked in a distant memory. And an angel Subaru was going to be if he was going to get it his way.
"200… 201… 202… 203…203!"
The room number. 203. Seishiro waited a bit and gazed in contemplation at the number on the door. Half his room'snumber so many years ago. Carefully, he placed an ear against the door to detect any signs of an already awoken Subaru.
What he heard was a loud snore. A mental picture of Subaru hanging half out of his sheets in a most undignified way, with the face of a sleeping drunk slowly took hold of his inner imagination. That did not arouse much eagerness in him…
"Hmm, not so much of an angel, Subaru-kun…"
He opened the door and sneaked into the room. There was Subaru, lying all defenceless on his bed in a rather, yes well, unelegant position. How could his excitement not take another dive. So much for expecting an angelic picture. Anyway, tiptoeing his way to his bed, his eyes set upon his Subaru-kun sleeping off his injury.
"Now, Subaru-kun, because I'm so thoughtful and because I know what your immediate needs are right now, for having been in the same situation before, I will provide you with the greatest pleasures the world has to offer. It was the only thing on my mind when I had my eye poked… "
From the brown bag Seishirou brought out a big colourful box. He put the box on Subaru's hand, delicately enough to wake him up though. He quickly flipped his dark glasses of his nose, ready as he will ever be to meet his prey's eyes. Well, eye. With the most sensual and dangerous glare he could provide, his eyes locked onto Subaru's.
"…"
Nothing happened. After letting out an annoyed grumble, Subaru just snored even more. Well, he hadn't got all night so he poked Subaru's shoulder to gain his attention. But still nothing.
"Oi!"
Subaru slowly opened his eye with a shudder and saw the tall figure hovering over him.
"Huh… ?"
"Hmm, yes, it's me, Subaru-kun. Surprised?"
"Mits yer… "
"… Subaru-kun?"
"No… it's yer… the cookiee-munster!"
Seishirou just frowned in utter confusion while Subaru clearly had difficulty deciphering who was actually waking him out of his slumber. With his bandaged hand he rubbed the slumber out of his eye, trying to match the dark parts of the jigsaw puzzle in front of him.
"Hmm…let's see… tall figure… dark bangs… an eye of amber… an eye of glass…"
All of a sudden his brain registered 'Danger Danger!' and he got up, bewildered by his newest visitor.
"Seishirou-san!"
Subaru was now incredulously gazing at the beaming assassin with an open mouth. Suddenly, he realized the weight on his other hand. He gazed at it with bubbly question marks popping out of nowhere. When he looked at Seishirou again, all he could register was his warm yet deceitful smile. This was not going to be fun.
"Seishirou-san…!"
"Open it, Subaru-kun. You will love it, no doubt about it."
Subaru carefully lifted a tip of the box.
"When I had the infortune of having my eye po—"
"Whaaat? You bastard! You heartless bastard!"
The box was now exposing its full content to Subaru's nose. The young man just could not remain calm at the sight of it and all the morphine that had kept him from engaging in an instant battle with the Sakurazukamori just lost all his effectiveness in a blink of an eye. His hand reflexively reached for its content.
The slender assassin managed to dodge the flying object directed at him at full speed just in time.
"B-but Subaru-kun! Is this how you thank me for thinking about your loss?"
"Thank you? Thank you! F-for … this! How sick are you?"
Subaru was now standing on his knees on the hospital bed, the white sheets half on the floor. He took another projectile out of the box and shot threatening looks towards the assassin.
"Get out! And take those awful… s-s-sticky… th-things with you!"
Seishirou had not the time to dodge the last of the projectiles, so he created a black ofuda out of thin air. The black mini-shiki appeared majestically and followed its magician lead towards the projectile. But as headless as it is, it flew right through the center hole of the projectile like a darts arrow.
The only thing that came to Seishirou's mind was 'Oops' before his face was mercilessly plastered with a sticky creamy strawberry-filled vanilla-sprinkled once perfectly round delicacy from Mr. Donut.
"You thought you could make me comfortable with this? Rubbing the parallel in my face? What do you think I am? Who do you think I am?"
This time a cherry-iced chocolate bun filled with mint-cream crashed just above a slightly bent Seishirou. He looked up rather indignified look at the smeared wall.
"Argh! Not the chocolate one, Subaru-kun! They are really rare these days. Has your grandmother never told you not to play with food?"
"Wha…?... I don't need your sympathy! Nor your ironic shit!"
"Subaru-kun, at least have one bite. Here. And stop throwing everything out of the box! My, my, such a temper you build up over the years."
The wall behind the assassin was soon turning into a burlesque painting of little delicacies. He himself was not spared as another crispy baggle with a mounting whipped cream hit him full face.
"Shut up!"
"And may I remind you… (oh! the sprinkled vanilla-apricot one!)... that you never gave me those donuts I so gently and passionately asked from you to all those years ago."
"Stop digging in the past! Y-you did not deserve them anyway... "
"Come to think about it… I never gave them to him when he needed them… A poked eye is not something pleasant to have, assassin or not--…No! Not a guilt trip! No no no!"
"Yeah, you did not deserve them! Donuts are for kind people, not heartless wimps like you!"
All his words were accentuated with one colorful and sweet donut after another, forming quite a nice rainbow canvas on the wall.
"Aww, that was the last one, Subaru-kun!"
Subaru reached for the content of the box only to have Seishirou's sulky words confirmed. Seishirou collected some whipped cream of his cheek and approached a frustrated Subaru. The box was now empty and Subaru was now at the mercy of his assaulter. Uhm, assault-ed…
"Here, have some…"
That made Subaru totally lose the last ounce of control he harboured, and Seishirou knew it. Subaru wasn't going to bite. Hmm, or he might…
"Yum--my!"
The poor paper box in his hands was beginning to lose its former shape as Subaru began to fume at a dangerous speed.
"Mmmmm! Creamyyyyy… Come here! Now now, don't be shy, Subaru-kun…"
"You &"é"#!…"
"Yes, Subaru-kun?"
"You filthy…!"
Seishirou seductively approached Subaru with his creamy bait. But he recoiled the soon as he saw the treatment the paper box got in Subaru's hand. The plan had worked, Subaru was beyond pissed and in his hand his last bullet was being prepared.
"Take this!"
As a last resort, Subaru threw the empty box which was full of lost sprinkles of all colours of the rainbow and dashed it at Seishirou. A disappointed slide to the left was enough for the assassin to dodge it, but a wave of sprinkles stayed glued to his whipped creamed face.
"Now now, Subaru-kun…BecauseI'msuch a niceand patient man,I won't take back my offer... So, yum-my! Comehere!"
A decorated Seishirou awaited Subaru to lash out at him, concentrating all his anger and frustration in his spell-driven ofuda's. But as soon as Subaru had managed to find his way out out of the numerous white sheets, he got his foot stuck in one of them and got to have a very close look at Seishirou's shoes.
"Ouch...! Damn it!"
Seishirou just looked at him, before rolling his eyes at this sight. Maybe today was not the day. The anger was there. Oh, yes. But the potential… Nah.
Seishirou just decided to leave him for what he was, but not before heating his anger up a bit more. Indeed, no entertainment whatsoever could match an irritated Subaru-kun. He bent over and decorated his nose with a fluff of cream.
"Aw, Subaru-kun, so kaw—"
"Kawaii! I know! Don'trubitin!"
"Oh, but I just did…"
Irritated beyond reason for Seishirou always having the last word, Subaru grabbed the base of his coat to destabilise him, but Seishirou found his way to the window just in time to make his escape. Subaru crawled back on his feet, but it was too late. Seishirou was already outside waving at him in his annoying intimidating ways from the ground, indulging himself in the death glares Subaru was shooting at him.
But his handwaving slowed before stopping altogether when he could distinguish an object being thrown at him. Then a second. Then a third. He could not let his eyes divert from it as they all grew larger and larger and larger…
The first was a red vase that landed right next to him in pieces.
"And take your flowers too!"
As he did not want to know what the nature of the other objects were, and as he did not want to be labeled as the Sakurazukamori that died by house decoration, Seishirou disappeared in his whirlwind of sakura petals.
"Damn it, Sakurazukamori! Coward! Gutless wimp! Stop hiding in your stupid stinky flower petals!"
Out of frustration he threw out a water can at random, not caring anymore if it landed on that bastard assassin or any other passer-by.
But if he had taken the time to look more closely, he would have seen a cursing cloud of wet sprinkled sakura-petals roaming around the streets of Shinjuku.
… Owari ...
A/N: The donuts were, as you already have figured out, an item from TB 6. The donuts Subaru never gave to Seishirou.
This is turning more into a "How to make Subaru kill me in 10 items" than just "Accessories for men". Well, yeah, watchagonnado'boutit :shrugs:
Thanks for reading!