Chapter 4: Behind These Eyes
Draco did not know what to do. Harry was in his arms, and until now, he did not realise that this was what he wanted all along. In an instant, He knew that Harry was with the person that he needed. He tried to calm Harry by stroking his hair. Then remembering a Muggle song that he liked, he started to sing.
"No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind these
eyes"
Harry stirred and Draco looking at him asked,
"Sorry I just…"
"Please, don't stop Draco."
"No one knows what it's like
to
be hated,
to be fated,
to telling only lies.
But my
dreams
they aren't as empty
as my conscience seems to be.
I
have hours; only lonely
my love is vengeance
that's never
free."
As Draco sang, Harry
thoughts wandered, 'my gods, where am I? Who is this holding me
singing like an angel to soften my sadness? How could I have denied
myself the intensity of moments like these for years? How could I
have let my past years be without the beautiful side to this soul?
Now, I am under his spell and I do not want that spell to end. Gods
be damn for him not being there for me as he is now. I do not hate
him. How could I have ever hated him?'
Harry looked up into Draco's eyes and saw that he also had tears in them. He raised his hand up to Draco's face and wiped it gently beneath his eye. Draco kissed his hand as it passed his mouth. Harry put his hand against Draco's cheek and allowed Draco to snuggle into it, Harry continued the song,
"No one knows what it's like
to feel these feelings
like I do
and I blame you.
No
one bites back as hard
on their anger,
none of my pain and
woe
can show through.
But my dreams,
they aren't as
empty
as my conscience seems to be.
I have hours, only
lonely
my love is vengeance
that's never free."
Suddenly,
they were both trying to say the same things at the same time. Both
tried to apologise through their tears for the years of pain and
sadness inflicted on each other by the other.
Harry said through his cascade of tears, "I'm so sorry for hurting you all these years. I never knew that you were the person for me. I never knew that you would be able to make me feel happy."
Draco moved his head down to where Harry laid on his chest and kissed the top of his head. "I always knew that I would find someone I could feel safe. I always wanted that person to be someone that I choose. Harry, you are the boy-who-lived. Some say that your life was mapped out before you were even born. You may not … we may not be in control of this meeting. The Gods seem to have decreed that for today we are not enemies. What tomorrow will bring we can only pray."
No
one knows what it's like
To be mistreated,
To be defeated,
behind these eyes.
And no one knows how to say
that
they're sorry
and don't worry
I'm not telling
lies.
But my dreams
they aren't as empty
as my
conscience seems to be.
I have hours, only lonely
my love
is vengeance
that's never free.
Harry turned to Draco
and put his face against his. There was a longing in his eyes. He
knew that the same longing was resident in his new friend eyes as
well.
"Draco can I see you again tomorrow?"
"What will the rest of your gang have to say about that?"
"Do you really care? I will protect you from any comments if they start. What about your family and friends, what will you do about them?"
"I don't know, I suppose my Dad will try and kill us both."
A feint smile leaving his lips, "as for my friends, I'm Draco Malfoy. They wouldn't dare say a word"
"We have not done anything yet Draco. We could just not tell anyone and put today down as a once off, if you would prefer it."
Draco looked hurt. With that, Draco took Harry's face in his hands and leaned in for a kiss.
"Whoooos dat 'n ther? Fang kill"
"Oh shit! It's Hagrid"
"Hello Harry, Malfoy … MALFOY!"
Hagrid shouted in a shocked tone, "What are you doing here with Harry, and why is your hand on his face? If you have cursed him, I swear by all the giants of… I did not want to say that…. I swear by Merlin."
"Hagrid, everything is fine" Harry started.
"Oh hello again Harry. What are you doing here and why is Malfoy with you?"
"Harry, don't explain yourself to this oaf," Draco spat in Hagrid's direction.
"What you little," Hagrid moved closer to the pair.
Harry jumped up and stood in front of Draco blocking Hagrid's path, "We were starting something Hagrid."
"Starting something, I don't like the sounds of that, no not at all. What do you mean starting something, with who Harry? Who were you starting something with?"
Harry held out his hand and Draco recognising the signal stood up and took it standing beside Harry hand in hand, "Oh that, and with you, oh I don't like the looks of this. I'm just going to pretend I haven't seen you Harry. I ain't the sort to have confusing things in my head, no not the sort at all. Now you two hurry back to school now. This forest is a dangerous place to be of a night"
Neither Harry nor Draco argued. They just picked up their things and moved towards the path that lead back to the Castle.
"Centaurs alerted me someone was here. They said that there were red and green angels singing in the forest. I'll have to carry on looking for them I suppose. Come fang." With that said, Hagrid was gone.
Harry and Draco walked up to the school gates.
For the first time since first year, they both felt afraid of what was certainly to come.