Um... I swear this will never ever, never never, ever ever, never ever never ever, ever ever ever, never ever, never, ev -er take me so long to write again. Honestly. I just needed a break what with school and everything going on. Hopefully though, I haven't lost too many fans yet. All right, next chapter will be up fairly soon. If it's not, I will... I'll... um... How about the first person to call me on it can choose a punishment, sound good? Er, seriously though. I promised OE, I know, and this kinda has some. But next chapter will be some really mushy stuff.

I'm Breaking The Habit Tonight

Olivia remained glued to the side of the stretcher as it was transported down the front steps of the building, her eyes never leaving the barely conscious figure lying on it. Casey had a precautionary neck brace on and the paramedics had already inserted an IV into her arm, the saline solution dripping down from a bag one was holding. As they came to one of the ambulances, Olivia stood to the side and watched Casey being loaded in. Once all the paramedics were clear, she hopped in as well.

"Liv!" The pounding of shoes on the pavement and a voice caught her attention. Elliot was jogging up towards her, a look of concern on his face. "I-"

"El, go ride in the other ambulance." She interrupted him, motioning with a nod of her head. Passing him one last reassuring glance, Olivia reached out to close the door behind her.

Elliot caught the door as it swung around and pushed it back open, just enough so that he could see Olivia. "Are you guys okay?" He compelled the best don't-lie-to-me, parental expression on his face that he could manage over his apprehension.

"Fine," Olivia forced, hearing the exasperated yells of the paramedics inside the vehicle. "Now go make sure we have someone to prosecute after this!" Elliot gave a slight nod as he shoved the door the rest of the way, setting off the click of the lock engaging.

Olivia grabbed onto the interior wall of the ambulance as it lurched to life, speeding forward with the sirens wailing. Uncomfortably squatting on her knees, she immediately regained her balance and inched out of the path of the paramedics. Their actions seemed less rushed, a good sign that Casey's vitals were stabilizing. Nonetheless, Olivia found herself moving towards the front of the vehicle where a woman had her fingers on Casey's wrist, checking her pulse. "How is she?"

The woman tossed her blonde ponytail behind her shoulder as she faced the detective, concern darkening her face. "Vitals are all looking good, but she's definitely got a concussion and she seems to be slipping into unconsciousness." Her voice lowered, insinuating towards the gravity of the situation. "If we don't keep her awake, there are chances that she could easily slip into a coma."

Olivia didn't need any more hints as she glanced down at Casey. "Casey?" Repeating her name, she hid the panic in her voice with feigned assurance. "Casey?" She ran her hand over Casey's forehead and hair, stopping her thumb to gently pull her eyelid up. "Come on Casey, look at me. I know you're awake," she willed, pleading that she was guessing right. A wave of relief washed over her as the woman's dusky green eyes finally slid open. "Thank God," she whispered, moving both her arms down to grasp Casey's hand between her own.

"Olivia…" She weakly sputtered, her face crinkling up in pain that was indistinguishable between emotional and physical. Her eyelids flickered up and down as she struggled to keep them even partly open. Noticing the genuine care and concern Olivia was watching her with, it only made the knot of guilt in her stomach feel even bigger. "I'm sorry," she murmured as tears stung the corner of her eyes.

"For what?" Olivia studied her intently, reassuringly squeezing her hands over Casey's.

"Myers…" Her voice rose in pitch before it diminished, a sob cutting it off. She pressed her lips together and attempted to blink away the tears starting to fall. "It's all my fault."

"No, no." Olivia shook her head defiantly. Locking gazes with Casey, she leaned forward and spoke resolutely. "This was not your fault, Casey. Don't think that." Lacing their fingers together, Olivia gripped her hand even tighter, as if her hold could prevent Casey from slipping into unconsciousness.

"Yes it is," she insisted, a stray tear sliding down her cheek. She knew Olivia was referring to Myers attacking her, and it only elevated the shame she felt. Her mouth opened to articulate, but the detective stopped her.

"Shh… Just focus on staying awake, honey." Olivia continued to comfort her until they arrived at the hospital.

--XXX--

Casey groaned as a sudden flash of pain burst through her restless slumber, causing her eyes to flicker open. Groggily coming back into reality, she focused on the aching long enough to realize it was originating from the back of her head. She foolishly shifted her head around, the pain almost inciting a scream from her.

"Careful!" A soothing voice softly instructed her, followed by the person resting her hand on her shoulder. "Not even all the morphine they drugged you up on will make it completely painless."

"Liv?" Casey blinked her vision clear to find the detective standing over her bed, a small smile on her face. "What happened?" Being the quick learner, she kept her head motionless and darted her eyes around to find she was in a hospital room.

Olivia continued to stand next to her, speaking with a reassuring and comforting smile. "After the doctors finally stabilized you, they had to put staples in the back of your head." At the overly horrified expression she gave her at the news, Olivia had to stifle a laugh. "It's a completely standard procedure Casey, don't worry." She momentarily set her hand back down encouragingly against Casey's shoulder before bringing it down to rest at her side. "I'm not surprised you fell asleep." Her gaze traveled from the IV in Casey's arm and up the tube to the solution dripping into it. "I think they gave you enough medication to numb a horse."

Whilst Olivia's eyes scrutinized the room, Casey's remained fixed on the detective, the nagging tactility at the pit of her stomach suddenly returning. She tediously eased herself up into a sitting position before averting her eyes to her lap and hesitantly clearing her throat. Feeling Olivia's patient stare watching her, she attempted her confession in the same way she'd done in the ambulance. "I'm sorry, Liv," she whispered ashamedly. To prevent Olivia from having time to interrupt her, Casey hastily continued. "In the ambulance, I wasn't talking about what Myers had done to me." Somehow, she managed to gather together the courage to meet Olivia's perplexed stare. "I was talking about what he did to you."

Olivia's confusion grew as she listened to her, unable to grasp what she was trying to tell her. "Casey," she shook her head, "I don't-"

"During the trial," she quickly supplied, "when he brought up your attack." Ignoring the dull throbbing radiating throughout her head, she took a deep breath and proceeded with her divulgence. "He found out about it because of me." Her explanation was left at that as she dove into an apology, trying to silence her thoughts. She could still hear voice in Myers' in her mind as it mocked her, saying that the entire predicament had been her fault and Olivia would never again trust her because of that. "I never meant for any of this to turn out like it did. You've got to believe me, Liv," she pleaded. "I wouldn't have gone out with him had I known he was the defense."

"Whoa, calm down." Clearing her head, Olivia mindfully sat on the edge of the bed as she kept her gaze where it was. After a minute of silence so that Casey could regain her composure, Olivia broke the quietness. "Of course I believe you didn't mean for this to happen." When her words didn't seem enough to convince her, she slipped her hand over the ADA's and clasped it in consolation. She thoughtfully studied her in concern for a moment. "But you've got to tell me what happened, Casey."

Nodding in compliance, Casey let everything pour out. From the first time Myers came into her office, to earlier that night, she admitted everything until she found herself at the moment he attacked her.

Tears gathered in her eyes as she hung her head and forced herself to relive the memory. "Then he shoved me back against the wall. I tried to fight him, but my head hurt so much… he was just too strong…" A quiet sob cut off her story and one by one the teardrops began to roll down her cheeks. "While he was on top of me, all I could think about was every victim I'd ever seen, every rapist and pedophile I'd put behind bars because their victims had the courage to survive and testify."

Listening, Olivia felt her eyes begin to water as she identified completely with everything Casey said. Similar, if not identical, thoughts had filled her mind the night she was raped. Every case, every victim… it all flooded back to her as she laid helplessly, her assailant's weight crushing into her.

When Casey looked up at the unusually silent detective and saw her matching tears, she didn't need to inquire to know why they were there. "And that must have been how you felt when you were raped…" The two locked tearful expressions for a moment, their eyes speaking every thought and feeling they couldn't put words to. "Thank you," Casey graciously whispered without warning, breaking the serenity first.

Olivia slightly tilted her head to the side and studied her in puzzlement, the tears in her eyes beginning to dissipate. "For what?"

"For saving me when you did," she genuinely smiled, causing Olivia to break out in a small grin as well.

There was a momentary pause preceding Olivia's next statement. "The doctor said you'd be all right to leave in another hour or so. Eventually, you'll have to give a statement if you're going to press charges."

Casey gave a resolute nod, knowing the procedure and having already decided to bring charges against the bastard. "Without a doubt," she assured her. "Have you heard about his condition?"

Olivia shook her head, glancing towards the closed door of the room. "Cragen and the guys are all outside. They're waiting to find out what happened."

--XXX--

"Captain, you know Olivia and you know Novak. Neither of them would have attacked the guy unless it had been in self-defense." Elliot abrasively insisted as they stood outside the hospital room, refusing to believe that anything else had gone on in Casey's office.

"And you know IAB!" Cragen shot back irritably. "They couldn't care less about the type of people they are!" The volume of his voice began steadily increasing as he berated his detective. "All they're going to see is the situation! Casey and Olivia are fine and Myers isn't!" He suddenly found himself face to face with Elliot, only a few inches between them as he yelled. Drawing in a deep breath for composure, Cragen whipped back around and moved down the hallway with his back to Elliot. Wearily running a hand over his bald scalp, he regretfully grumbled to himself. "Maybe the Morris Commission was right about suspending her…"

When Cragen's statement caught his attention, Elliot leaned in and listened intently to determine if he'd heard right. Appalled, he walked up towards the Captain. "You're not talking about Olivia," he questioned in dismay, catching his eye. "So you're siding with them now?" Elliot demanded in a flash of anger at anyone doubting his partner's ability and constraint. His tone dropped low and chiding. "You've lost all faith in her too?" He ignored his boss's narrowing eyes and continued. "After all this… after everything the whole squad has been though, you're just going to throw her to the dogs? Just give up on her like you don't give a damn?"

After the last question, Cragen decided he'd heard more than enough. His jaw was tightly clenched together and the vein in his neck was beginning to slightly throb underneath his skin. Just as he had done before, though this time it was intentional, he leaned in towards Elliot so their faces had only six inches between them at most. As he spoke, he matched Elliot's voice with a growl. "I have been a captain in this precinct for fifteen years and I've been a cop for twice that. Each detective that has come through my squad I have treated and cared for like they were my own kids." He lifted his index finger and pointed it at Elliot's chest warningly, just brushing the fabric of the blazer. "And I've always put my neck on the line for them and never given up on anyone. So don't you dare tell me that I don't give a damn about Olivia, or insinuate that I've deserted any one of you, because I haven't."

Though Elliot had been caught slightly off guard with Cragen's sudden guard, he remained undaunted. The two continued to stare down the other, both breathing heavily in anger.

Suddenly, the creaking squeal of hinges moving brought both men's attention towards the door behind them. Olivia had stepped out of Casey's room and was now watching them with hesitance.

"Am I interrupting something?" The look of exhaustion on her face was evident as she balled her hand into a fist and scratched her forehead with the nail of her thumb.

They ignored her question as Elliot hurried up to her in concern. Standing in front of her, he looked her up and down anxiously as he grabbed her free wrist with both his hands. Locking onto her eyes, he finally spoke. "Liv, are you okay?"

Sighing, she pulled her arm out of his grasp and nodded. "I'm fine."

"How's Casey?" The two detectives glanced over as Cragen walked up next to them.

Olivia nodded again, folding her arms in front of her. "She's all right. Still in pain because of the staples, and still reeling from what Myers did to her." Her eyes angrily crossed and her expression hardened as she brought Myers' name into the conversation.

As Elliot saw this, he felt his stomach drop. Though he was sure he already knew the answer, he had to ask her. Trying to swallow the lump in his throat, he had to remind himself to at least appear as objective as possible. "Liv, who hit Myers with the lamp?"

Her next two words confirmed the men's fears. "I did." She watched on in puzzled alarm as the color left Elliot's face. Cragen's expression wasn't any more comforting. Flustered and unsure what to do next, she quickly became defensive. "He was going to rape Casey and he punched me. Would you rather I'd shot him?" Her eyes were wide in incredulity as she looked back and forth between their stares. Elliot and Cragen exchanged a quick glance before either found their voice to speak.

"Olivia," Cragen started in a calming and relaxing tone, "tell us what happened."

Still flustered, she played back the situation in her mind and described them, starting with when she walked into Casey's office. She decided to leave the preceding events for the ADA to explain. When she finished, they silently processed her words.

Olivia cleared her throat, uncertain what to do next as she watched Cragen. "So should I go down to the station house? Give my statement so Casey can press charges?"

The Captain's eyes became pained as they looked up at his detective. "I'm afraid it's not that easy this time, Liv."

"What?" She nervously studied him, bothered by the possible meaning of his statement. "What are you talking about?"

"It's Myers," Elliot answered for him, his features etched in distress despite the gentle kindness he spoke with. "In the ambulance on the way over… His heart stopped. The paramedics tried to revive him, but they couldn't." Tears of shock and remorse began gathering in Olivia's eyes, causing him to unknowingly lower his voice to a whisper. "Liv, they pronounced him dead about twenty minutes ago."

--XXX--

"Oh God, El…" Olivia sighed helplessly, leaning forward in the plastic chair in the hospital waiting room and nestling her forehead against her fists. "I can't believe this. I never meant to…" She faded off, unable to complete the sentence as she slowly began to shake her head side to side in an attempt to dislodge her thoughts.

Elliot's brows furrowing in commiseration, he lowered himself in the seat next to her. His stomach pressed against her side as he leaned over and slipped his arm over Olivia's back, affectionately and tenderly caressing her skin. When Elliot felt her muscles begin to relax under his touch, he pulled her closer and wrapped his other arm around the front of her.

Olivia habitually pressed her face against his chest, a position she'd grown very accustomed to over the past week or so. She melted against his skin as she felt him rest his chin against the top of her head. Olivia wanted nothing more than to be able to just float away in his arms and disregard the last few months of her life. But she couldn't, she couldn't move on and she couldn't forget. She'd taken a man's life this evening. That first admission made her body involuntarily shudder.

"Liv?" Elliot whispered, gently massaging her shoulder beneath his hand. "Are you all right?"

"No!" She lamented in disbelief, pushing away from him so that her expression of shock was visible. "El, I killed a guy tonight!" She held her hands up, the palms facing her. "I took his life with my own two hands." Unshed tears glistened on her eyes as she tossed her hands back into her lap. "Of course I'm not all right!"

Regret and distress covered his face as he snatched one of her hands in his. "Liv, you don't know that it was your fault. There could be a million other reasons for his death." When she responded with nothing but a look of skepticism, he continued. "Warner's made his autopsy a number one priority. We don't know anything for sure until we get it back."

"And what do you think it's gonna say?" Olivia snapped back, positive that the fault lay over her conscience. "That he died of some freak heart attack or something? No, it's going to be because of a blow to the back of the head. Then the Morris Commission will really love me," she scoffed.

"Liv, if worst comes to worst, it was in self-defense." When Elliot quickly realized that no amount of condolence was going to sway her opinion, he decided to attempt his hand at cheering her up. "Besides, I could always claim I was the one that hit Myers. Granted, the Morris Commissioners aren't exactly my best friends, but I'm sure they can't go too hard on me."

At his sudden rambling, Olivia narrowed her eyes in frustrated confusion. Her patience was waning and word games were not helping the cause. "What the hell are you talking about? Munch and Fin are already down at the precinct looking over the security camera footage from inside Casey's office when I attacked him." She raised an eyebrow at her partner. "Besides, they're not stupid."

Elliot just grinned, trying to reveal his true intent without provoking her further. "That's not exactly the word I was going for, but I guess it's all the same. Seriously though, Liv," he successfully stifled a laugh as he slid his arm back over her shoulders and drew her perplexed stare closer to his own face. "Get a wig, some tissues…" he winked playfully, "I could pass for you."

An agitated expression played on her features before it turned into a look of repulsion. As Elliot laughed at her, Olivia felt the corners of her mouth compulsively curl up in response to the sound. Neither was ever really able to hold a straight face when the other one didn't. When his laughs faded, Olivia found herself actually picturing Elliot dressed like her and was immediately insulted.

"Just what is it you're trying to say there, Stabler?" She accusingly poked his chest with her finger, leaning away from his touch. "Are you saying I resemble a transvestite?" Her lips pursed in hostility and her eyes narrowed at him.

"Aw, Liv…" He quietly chuckled, tightening his arm around her as he murmured in her ear. "Of course not, I'm just kidding."

Feeling Elliot's warm breath against her skin, Olivia felt a tingling sensation shoot through her body. Turning her neck so that she was facing him, she felt a smile creep onto her face as she spoke. "You're such a jerk."

A pleased grin appeared on Elliot's mouth as he earnestly studied her. His voice dropped to a low whisper. "But you're smiling now," he pointed out.

When Olivia suddenly realized that had been his intent the entire time, she rolled her eyes. "Absolutely brilliant, El. Now if you'll let go of me for a second…" She sighed as she attempted to yank free of his embrace to allow her to stand. "I'm gonna go get us some coffee."

"Oh, no you don't." Just as she managed to make it to her feet, Elliot's arms pulled her back down into the chair with a thud. When she whipped around to face his with a demanding glare, Elliot elaborated as he raised his eyebrow at her. "You've already had about eight cups since we've been here. I'm cutting you off."

"Fine," she agreed in a hollow, taunting tone. "But coffee's my stress reliever." Her eyes suddenly took on a corrupt glint as she continued with her threat. "If you take that away, I'll just have to relax by gouging your eyes out."

By her tone and expression, Elliot sensed that her forewarning was, in fact, very probable. Not really wanting to risk his vision, he continued warily. "Threatening bodily harm. I think that tops the list of signs of an addiction. You don't need more caffeine, you need sleep in your own bed." Rising to his feet, he pulled Olivia back up with him. "You're going home."

An annoyed sigh parted Olivia's lips and she rolled her eyes. Hearing the stubbornness Elliot spoke with, she knew that any objecting would just result in a losing battle for her. "Just one problem. Our cars are back at the station house."

"All right," he shrugged, shuffling around a hand within one of his pockets until he found his wallet. "We can take a taxi."

Olivia debated that for a moment until she realized something. "I don't have any money with me."

Elliot just smiled and slightly turned his head to the side to stare at her. He was just about to offer her money for a taxi home when an innocent plan crossed his mind. "Guess you're coming home with me then," he playfully grinned, wrapping a suggestive arm around her waist.

A chuckle escaped Olivia as she felt his fingers tickle her skin and met his gaze. "What happened to sleeping in 'my own bed?'"

He shrugged nonchalantly, keeping his arm protectively curled around her as he started leading her outside. "Your bed, my bed… whatever."

She softly slapped his chest with the back of her hand and pretended to let out an appalled gasp. "Detective Stabler, if that's your subtle way of trying to get in my pants, I can tell you right now it's not going to work."

"Well, it was worth a shot." When Olivia glanced over, seeming to take his words seriously, he flashed her another boyish grin before hailing the nearest taxi.

--XXX--

"I still can't believe you made us drive all the way to your apartment," Elliot incredulously shook his head, tossing his jacket onto the recliner in his living room as he entered his house. "That kind of defeated the whole point of you staying here in the first place." Olivia just replied with a fatigued smile as she shed her jacket as well, maneuvering around the small overnight bag in her hand. Grabbing Elliot's from the chair, she neatly rested them both on the coat rack next to the front door. "You owe me twenty-seven dollars for cab fare."

"Right…" Her mouth widened in a silent yawn and she quickly covered it with her palm. Her yawn dissipating into a sigh, Olivia couldn't help but grin as she watched Elliot saunter over towards the kitchen.

The cupboard door creaked on the hinges as he opened it and looked over his shoulder towards her. "You want something to eat?"

Shaking her head, her eyes slipped shut in exhaustion. "I'm going to bed." Olivia sluggishly trudged towards the extra bedroom in the house, clasping the bag containing her clothes in her hand.

Grinning, Elliot quickly intercepted her route, standing in front of her. When Olivia glanced up at him, he wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her into a hug. "Night," he offered as his only explanation.

"Night, El." Just as she was about to pull away, Elliot moved in and gently pressed his lips to her forehead. Leaning back, his eyes remained on Olivia as he tenderly studied her.

"You sure you don't need anything?" He wondered in concern, his arms still resting on her shoulders. "You know where everything is? There are extra blankets are in the closet, there should be some pillows too, and-"

"Elliot, I've been here before." She locked her eyes onto his, sending a reassuring glance. "I'm good." Readjusting her grip on the bag in her hand, she started walking around Elliot. "Night." She brushed her hand against his shoulder as she strolled past him.

--XXX--

With an exasperated sigh, Elliot flipped over in his bed, finding it impossible to get any sleep. Rubbing his hand over his face, he suddenly noticed a faint glow coming out from underneath his bedroom door. He continued rubbing his eyes to clear his vision as he pushed himself closer towards the edge of the mattress. His eyes finally adjusted to the light and he realized that the light was coming from the kitchen. He flipped his covers off of his body and sat up with a groan, assuming he'd left a light on in one of the other rooms.

Instead of finding the room empty when he opened his door he found Olivia, sitting at the kitchen table, her back turned to him and the ceiling light on. "Liv?" His eyes blinked repeatedly for a moment so that he was sure he was seeing right when she didn't react to her name. "Liv?" He asked again, taking a few steps towards her.

Olivia, however, seemed to be indifferent to his voice. She remained in her seat, clutching a mug between both her hands.

Finally reaching her, Elliot dropped a hand on her shoulder and spoke louder. "Olivia!"

Olivia reacted with split-second reflexes, jerking her upper torso around at the same time her hand shot up to defensively grab Elliot's. Just as she was about to launch into a martial arts move, she noticed it was only him. "Elliot?" Her eyes were bloodshot as they studied him over in sudden disorientation.

"Yeah, Liv," he nodded, wincing as he felt her manicured nails dig themselves deeper into the flesh on his hand. "Just me." He wiggled the fingers of his entrapped hand just enough for Olivia to understand the signal and quickly release her aggressive grip. Breathing out in relief, Elliot's brows furrowed as he began massaging the fingernail imprints out of his skin.

"I'm sorry El." Despite the drained, hollow tone to her voice, her apology was sincere as she observed Elliot nursing his hand. "I thought… I was just…" She found herself incapable of providing any rationalization as she rested her forehead against her open palm, averting her guilty eyes to the floor.

Both perplexed and alarmed, Elliot grabbed one of the dining table chairs and scrapped the legs against the floor as he moved it closer towards Olivia. Lowering himself into it, he glanced into the mug on the table to see that it was filled with black coffee that had to be fairly old. "Liv, what are you doing up?" When she wouldn't voluntarily meet his gaze, he curved her forefinger and reached out to place it under her chin. She had no choice but to finally look at him as he tilted her head up, revealing her misty eyes. "Olivia…" Elliot's voice dropped to a concerned, gentle whisper. "What's wrong?"

At his innocent question, Olivia felt her face contort in anger before she could stop herself. "Oh, nothing!" She snapped, furiously smacking his hand away from her chin. "I've just been up thinking about how I'm no better than half the perps we've ever put away!"

Taken aback by her unexpected yelling, Elliot just sat in silence as his eyes darted over her face in an attempt to better understand. Studying her pained expression, it only took him a second to appreciate her words. "Myers."

A dubious look crossed her face and she bit her lip. "Did you figure that out all by yourself, smart one?"

"Liv…" Elliot softly whispered, caringly gazing into her eyes. "Don't do this. Don't push me away and don't blame yourself for this." As he spoke, he reached his hand out and clasped Olivia's. Though her reaction was to immediately pull back from the warm gesture, Elliot squeezed her fingers tighter and refused to allow it.

This was their game, their familiar pattern. Even before they'd developed feelings for each other, it was always the same. If one of them was going through something, the other would always interfere, justified or not; then the other would just shut them out in stubbornness. After they'd both tenaciously pushed and pushed, it would just result in inevitable fallout in which neither would speak for weeks at a time. One obviously needed the other, but was too obstinate to let the fact be known. But seeing the torture in Olivia's face, Elliot couldn't allow the precedent to take over; he couldn't abandon her now.

"Elliot, just stop it!" With a powerful jerk backwards of her arm, Olivia freed her hand from Elliot's and almost pulled him from his chair in the same motion. "Stop trying to fix everything, stop telling me not to blame myself, just stop!" Her tone abruptly softened as she locked gazes with him. "I joined the force to help people. I wanted to protect them from all the perps out there… put all the rapists and murderers behind bars, not become one. Say what you want, El, but the numbers don't lie. I've snuffed out more lives than a third of the convicts in Rikers." Her eyes began to gloss over as she kept her stare on Elliot, awaiting his reaction.

"Numbers aren't everything, Liv. Look at the situations, the perps… the reasons. Everything you've ever done has been in self-defense for other people. A perp had a gun to a hostage's head, threatening to kill both of you, and your only thoughts are about saving her, even offering to sacrifice you to get her out of harm's way. With everything you knew at the time, in all likelihood it was almost a guarantee that he would have killed her if you hadn't acted first."

"But the magazine was empty…" She added, recalling exactly the case to which he was referring.

"But you didn't know that; there was no way you could have. You just reacted with the instinct all your training has taught you." Elliot found a grateful smile creeping on his lips as he thought back to a day that took place almost six years ago. "Or when an armed, abusive husband holds up his wife in a laundry room and your partner thinks it'd be a good idea to go in and attempt to negotiate. When you saw him point the gun at me, your response was to stop him. You didn't shoot to kill; your intent was to protect me." As smile on his face continued to grow in gratitude, it almost caused the same effect on Olivia, the corners of her lips beginning to curl. "And the same goes for stopping Myers from raping Casey. Think about it Liv, all of that… it was protecting people." When Olivia merely replied with a heavy sigh, he continued. "The past is the past, Liv, and all the regret, second-guessing, and guilt in the world can't change that. Right?"

After a moment of contemplating, Olivia's head slowly began to nod up and down. "I guess not, but I still feel like crap."

"Good," he gave a sincere smile, sliding his hand up on her shoulder. "That's what separates us from the perps." Elliot suddenly found his thumb moving to gently stroke Olivia's cheek. "Well, that and the fact that we have real beds to sleep on instead of concrete slabs. You look exhausted."

Olivia just gave a small, quiet laugh and rolled her eyes. "Why thank you for the subtle hint, El. I appreciate it."

"Anytime," he grinned, rising to his feet. "Now, let's get you back to bed."

Five minutes later, the two were sitting on Olivia's temporary bed for the night, the spare Elliot had for his children's weekend visits. Their legs hung over the edge while Olivia comfortably rested her head on Elliot's shoulder, her forehead against his collarbone. She couldn't really describe it, but to her it seemed like the closer she was to Elliot, the more their skin touched, the safer she was. Her world didn't feel like crumbling underneath her feet when she was in his presence.

Elliot's hand was slid around her shoulder, absentmindedly massaging it. A refreshing silence settled in the room as they just sat there unmoving, both listening to the other's quietly breathing.

Within a few moments, Elliot saw that Olivia was asleep when her breathing had slowed to a subtle, rhythmic pattern. Glancing down, he noticed that his hand had been unconsciously twisting her hair between his fingers. He gently untangled it and used both hands to keep her in her sitting position while he stood up. Once on his feet, he carefully lowered Olivia's head onto the nearest pillow and slid a blanket over her body. His eyes affectionately studied her face a moment before he lightly pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Love ya, Liv," he whispered and gradually began to walk back towards his bedroom.

--XXX--

"It is six o'clock in the morning," Munch declared in displeasure as he and Fin walked into the ME's office and caught sight of Warner. Glancing over his glasses, he raised his eyebrow at her. "You better have a damn good reason for making me drag my ass outta bed this early."

Melinda just returned with a weary glare as she beckoned them into the back room. "At least you got to sleep at all. I've been up all night with Mr. Myers here." In the center of the room was the metal examining table, the outline of a body hidden underneath a thin, white sheet. Warner walked over and grasped the top of the sheet, folding it down to reveal Joseph Meyers from the neck up. With white skin, a bluish hue, and an artificial, emotionless expression, he looked exactly the same as every other corpse the detectives had ever seen.

"You finished the autopsy already?" Fin looked over the body in surprise and saw the thin stitches forming a V-shape over the chest area. Normally it took her at least three or four days to perform the procedure.

"Like I said, I spent all night running preliminary labs and tests." She strolled over to a counter and picked up a manila folder, thick with papers and reports.

"And..?" Munch crossed his arms and impatiently waited for her to reach the point of this meeting.

Glancing up, the thinnest smirk crossed her face as she spoke. "And I have your cause of death."

At the sudden news, Fin and Munch exchanged a quick glance before hesitantly turning back to Warner. John cleared his throat and voiced both their worries. "Just please tell me that it wasn't caused by a blow to the back of the head," he pleaded.

"All right," she shrugged, handing him the report. "It wasn't caused by a blow to the back of the head." When she was met with two hopeful stares, Warner leaned over the table to explain. "When I was doing the autopsy, I came across this." Resting her gloved forefinger and middle finger on either of Myers' nostrils and gently lifted his nose up, pointing towards it with her free hand. "Look and tell me what you see."

Though John kept his distance, Fin dared to glance from a distance. Squinting, he bobbed his head around slightly trying to find something. "What?" He questioned, finally giving up and leaning back. "I don't see anything."

"Exactly," she shrugged. "His nasal cavity is completely hollowed out."

"Like a junkie?" He gave her a skeptical look.

"Or someone who's been snorting crack cocaine on a daily basis for the past few years. The toxicology lab won't be back for another day or so, but based on his behavior and my report, I'd be willing to bet he was using when he attacked Casey and Olivia. All the signs point to him suffering an overdose as the cause of death."

"And the lamp to the back of his head had absolutely nothing to do with it?" John asked again for clarification, making sure Olivia was completely in the clear.

"If he was still alive, he would just have a headache from the small amount of force used."

A grin crossed John's face as he pulled out his cell phone. "I'm calling Liv."

Fin rolled his eyes and shook his head as John hurried out of the room. "And I'll call Cragen. Thanks," he smiled and nodded at Melinda before following after his partner.

--XXX--

Author's Note - So how many people wanted Myers dead again? Well, I listened. Katydidit - ThoughI'm not divulging into after-life, I think you should be pretty happy now. ;)