Okay everyone. Author's note at the end of the chapter this time.
Reckless Hearts Clear A Path Wider Than A Hurricane's Aftermath
"Every kiss, before this, was nothing but a waste of breath. And every 'I love you', was just a whoop-de-do. Never knew what I missed, before this." – "Before Me And You" by SheDaisy
As Olivia pulled her long sleeve t-shirt over her head, the cerulean one with " New York City" written in navy blue on her chest, she wondered if Elliot was awake yet. She added a few final touches to her casual outfit before walking out of the bathroom and heading towards Elliot's bedroom.
Olivia found him sprawled across one edge of the bed, tangled up in sheets that covered little more than what a bathing suit would. With a grin, she also noted that, from what she could see, he appeared to be completely unclothed. Stealthily, she crept towards the empty side of the bed and pushed the covers back. Careful not to disturb Elliot's slumber, she crawled up next to him. She lay on her side and rested her elbow on a pillow so that she could prop her head up against her open palm. Olivia remained still as she watched him with a smile, waiting for him to awaken under her gaze. A little while later Elliot finally stirred, stretching his arms over his head as his eyes flickered open.
"Hey El," she whispered, trying to startle him.
Instead of appearing surprised when he saw her, a huge grin crossed Elliot's drowsy expression. "Liv…" He yawned, moving his hands back down and opening his eyes all the way. "You're up."
"You too," she pointed out. Deciding it was too good an opportunity to pass up, she decided to question him about his bedroom attire. "So," she raised an inquiring eyebrow at him, "do you always sleep naked? Or is that just a special thing you save for when you have guests over?"
Elliot seemed puzzled as he glanced down. He quickly saw, for the first time that morning, the compromising position his tossing and turning throughout the night had earned him. Olivia had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing as he hastily covered himself as best he could. His cheeks were flushed when he looked back up at her. "Oh, shove it, Benson. I have shorts on." He playfully pushed her shoulder as she started laughing.
"Hey," she defended herself between chuckles, "I wasn't complaining or anything."
"Oh, well in that case…" Elliot suddenly moved his hands up and snaked them around Olivia's neck. In one swift motion, he pulled her forward and caused her to fall against his body.
Surprised at first, Olivia quickly relaxed in his arms. As she leaned into the embrace and rested her ear against his bare chest, Elliot was able to completely wrap his arms around her. They both sat silent in the hug for a moment before Olivia spoke.
"As nice as this is," she said sincerely, tilting her head back and pulling from his hold, "I should go."
"But it's only seven thirty," Elliot asserted, not wanting her to leave. "Where are you going?" His hand still casually rested on her hip as he waited for an answer.
"I figured I'd go over to Casey's." Olivia's eyes seemed to instantly cloud over, bringing back the thoughts of last night. "See how she's doing."
Just as Elliot was about to say something, the noise of his cell phone ringing interrupted him. Reaching past Olivia, he swiped the object off of his nightstand and flipped it open. "Stabler," he answered in second nature. "Hey Munch, what is it?" Olivia was half-way up from the bed when Elliot grabbed her hand and stopped her from getting up the rest of the way. His expression anxiously seemed to be signaling something as he glanced up towards her. "Melinda finished the autopsy report on Myers already?"
That sentence instantly made Olivia plop back down on the bed, a mix of curiosity and hesitance on her face as she watched Elliot. Half of her wanted to hear the report, hear that Elliot's reassurances had been right and she wasn't responsible for the lawyer's death, but the other half didn't want to, for fear that it was her fault. Before she had time to stop him or decide for herself, Elliot made her choice for her.
Putting a cautionary finger over his lips in a signal for her to be quiet, he moved the phone away from his ear and pressed the speaker button. Now Olivia had no choice but to listen as she heard Munch's voice on the other end.
"I've been trying to get Olivia's cell for the past hour and a half, but she's not picking up."
Olivia's hand instantly traveled to her jeans pocket to find that her cell phone was missing. After a second of thinking, she looked up at Elliot and mouthed, "I left it at home."
He nodded thoughtfully and brought the phone up to his mouth. "I'll try calling her later, but what about Myers? Does Warner know the cause of death?"
"Oh yes," he answered smugly. "Just another proof that our government's minions are all corrupt druggies. Honestly, how are people supposed to feel safe when their lawyers are back in the bathrooms snorting coke during a trial? I'm telling you, our declining society is going to be the entire Earth's downfall."
An incensed expression appeared on Elliot's face as he rolled his eyes at the other Detective's rants. "Munch, would you just shut up and just tell me what the cause of death was?"
"Hey," the disembodied voice of John objected. "Do you want me to shut up or talk? Can't have it both way-"
"John!" Elliot shouted exasperatedly.
"All right!" John finally gave up on his government-based criticizing. "It's not official because she hasn't gotten the tox labs back yet, but Warner's all but convinced that Myers died of an overdose. His nasal cavity resembled that of a black hole and she says he's been snorting cocaine for years now. Olivia hitting him had absolutely nothing to do with it."
An optimistic look appeared on Elliot's face as he watched his partner's expression. "Are you sure?"
"As sure as I am that the President knew damn well that there were no 'weapons of mass destruction' across-" Unconcerned with hearing any more of his political views, Elliot pushed the talk button and ended the call. An elated smile crossed his face as he caught Olivia's eye.
Her blank expression slowly curled into a grin as well. "Go ahead, say it."
"Say what?" He pretended to give her an innocent, oblivious look.
"You were right." To keep from answering that, Olivia mocked his earlier motions and threw her arms around his neck. She pulled him into a brief hug before releasing him and rising from the bed. "I'll see you later."
"Hey Liv." Elliot seized her hand again and she turned around to look at him expectantly. "What do you say we try the whole date thing again tonight? You can come back here, I'll make us dinner."
"Make? As in you're going to cook it yourself?" Olivia feigned disgust at the very thought.
"I sense you doubt my ability." He raised an eyebrow at her, trying to seem as serious as possible. In all honesty, Elliot had absolutely no cooking skills whatsoever. He'd been raised with the concept that women stayed home and cooked while men went out and worked, so as a kid he'd hardly even stepped foot into a kitchen. Even when he married Kathy after she became pregnant, he had to be the provider, working all day and coming home to dinner already set on the table. Despite that though, he didn't believe it was all that hard as people made it out to be. He was confident that he could pull something off for tonight.
"Boxer Boy," she referred to his lack of clothes, "you'd have to have ability for me to doubt it." Olivia's eyes twinkled as she continued to tease him. "But if you really think you can make dinner, who am I to stand in the way of your imagination?" Grinning, she bent forward and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "See you tonight then, Martha." Just as she was walking out of his bedroom, Elliot called out Olivia's name. When she turned back to look at him, he picked up one of the pillows from his bed. He threw it towards her and she managed to knock it to the ground before it collided with her face. Olivia just laughed as she picked it up and tossed it back to him. "See ya Stabler."
"See ya Benson." He laughed as well, matching her grin.
--XXX--
As Elliot hurriedly transferred the food from the Olive Garden take-out containers to plates, he glanced up at the clock and frowned. He realized that Olivia should have shown up about twenty minutes ago. Though she'd never been an exact stickler for punctuality, Elliot was beginning to worry. He wasn't sure if her absence could be blamed on something serious, or just the simple fact that she'd stood him up.
Tossing the containers in the trashcan, he'd just made up his mind to try her cell when his doorbell rang. He felt a smile creep on his face as he scurried towards the front of his living room. The light sound of raindrops caught his ear as he yanked the door open.
"Liv!" His voice suddenly jumped a few decibels as he realized that she must have been caught by the rain. A beautiful, light blue dress that cut off just below her knees was now completely drenched as it clung to her skin. A black, button-up sweater was draped over her shoulders and her hands held it tightly shut against her chest. Her hair hung around her scowling face in clumps. "Geez, come in!" He grabbed her elbow and yanked her inside the dry house. Shutting the door against the downpour, Elliot turned back around to face Olivia. "You're soaking wet!" He heard the words blurt from his mouth before he could stop himself.
"Why thanks for the headline! And here I was feeling completely dry." She flipped her head around in order to look at Elliot and, in the process, managed to sprinkle him with droplets of stray water from her hair. Glaring at him, Olivia sarcastically snapped again. "What ever would I do without you?"
Somewhat disgustedly, Elliot wiped the moisture from his face and ignored her outburst in favor of a different approach. "What happened?"
Still clutching her sweater around her, Olivia ignored the water dripping from her body and spoke with vehemence. "I was driving over here when the battery in my car decided to die. Of course, I forgot my cell phone at home, so I couldn't call AAA."
Elliot desperately tried to keep from laughing at Olivia's endearingly flustered appearance and instead raised a dubious eyebrow. "And a taxi was out of the question?"
"Like I didn't try!" She stressed, irritably crossing her arms in two jerky movements. "There were hardly any out and the ones that did drive by didn't stop!"
Unable to ignore how attractive she became when she was angry, a playful grin flashed on Elliot's face. "You did lift your skirt up and try to show some leg, right? Flag one of them down that way?"
The slightest air of a smile crossed her mouth at his joking, but she shrugged it off and continued her rant. "I had to walk in the pouring rain for ten blocks in heels just to get here."
"And completely ruin my carpet," he pointed an outstretched finger towards the puddle of water gathering at her feet. "Here, I'll take your sweater." As he reached out to take her sweater from her, Olivia backed away from his touch. "What is it?" Elliot conscientiously drew his hand back, concerned that he'd made her uncomfortable.
"It's my dress…" She futilely fought the redness that was beginning to appear in her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around her chest protectively. "It's um…" The puzzled expression Elliot gave her only added to her discomfiture. "Kinda of sheer material, especially when wet…"
Elliot's lips just curled up mischievously in a huge smirk as he extended his hand again. "Again, I say, I'll take that for you."
"Shut up…" Olivia grumbled to herself, trying to hide her mortification and inciting a laugh from Elliot.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry." He moved forward and rested a hand on Olivia's shoulder to lead her through the living room and towards the bathroom. "I'll get you some clothes to change into. Meanwhile, you can drip on the bathroom tile instead of on my carpet."
"Ha ha," Olivia dryly commented, though she was smiling too. "I get the picture."
--XXX--
A few minutes later, after Olivia had draped her sopping clothes over the curtain rod in the shower of Elliot's bathroom, she emerged into the living room. Heading into the dining room, she saw Elliot setting two plates of food on the table. When he noticed she was watching him, he glanced up. "Hey sexy," he remarked with a twinkle in his eye.
"Oh yeah," she rolled her eyes, talking in her appearance. "My dress was nothing compared to this." She had on a pair of black, draw-string pants and a white A-line tee, both of which were Elliot's.
He straightened himself and studied her over earnestly for a moment. "I think you look better like that. You know," he shrugged, "less is more."
A pleased smirk appeared on her face as she sauntered over towards the table. "So, what's on the menu for this wonderful, home-cooked meal you promised me?" Elliot could see that she still doubted that he had any culinary ability in the slightest as she glanced over the plates.
"Your favorite, Caesar salad, breadsticks, and chicken fettuccini Alfredo." Elliot had set the table up beautifully. Two plates of the chicken and pasta mix were set up across from each other, each surrounded by silverware, a folded napkin, and a small side plate. In between the two places set, there were two bowls, one containing the salad and the other the breadsticks. What really caught Olivia's attention, though, were the two lit, red candles softly flickering in the center of the table. Everything was very casual and laid-back, but candles seemed to slightly offset that and create an air of romance.
"Well, I'm still iffy on the whole cooking part," she smiled, "but you can sure set a table with the best of them." She moved closer to Elliot and he immediately winded an arm around her waist.
"So, do you wanna eat now or is there something you'd like to make fun of? Oh, I don't think you've said anything about my clothes yet… Or my receding hairline. That's always a favorite with my kids. Or-" He was suddenly interrupted as Olivia grabbed his head between her palms and pulled his face down to meet hers in a deep, heavy kiss. When she finally pulled away, Elliot was left with a slightly dazed, yet very pleased expression.
Biting her bottom lip in amusement, Olivia met his eyes. "I kid because I care." While Elliot chuckled at her, she just smiled. "And, one more question before we eat." She deliberately glanced around the room, eyeing everything up before turning back to Elliot with an inquiring expression. "How exactly did you manage to get Olive Garden to deliver this late?"
"What?" Before he could stop himself, Elliot's eyes instantly widened in disbelief. He pathetically tried to hide his shocked expression with a blank one. "What are you talking about?" While he tried to maintain his innocence, Olivia just gave him a dubious stare like a mother would give to her lying child. After only a minute of squirming under her gaze, Elliot finally caved. "All right, how'd you know?"
She gave a sinister grin and shrugged as she counted off the reasons on her fingers. "Well, the very idea that you cooked anything was a big hint. I also remember telling you that this was my favorite dish from there a little while back. And how'd I know it was take-out? For one, the bags and containers in the trashcan in the kitchen. And the most evident clue by far…" She reached forward and snatched one of the tan colored napkins from the table. Holding it up, the writing on it he'd missed before was suddenly clear to Elliot. In big, green, cursive letters, "Olive Garden" was spelled on the side. "Just a word of advice, El. If you're gonna use take-out, don't use the napkins they give you."
Once she was through, a grin formed on Elliot's face at the sheer idiocy of his mistake. "Hey, it's not like that was my plan from the beginning. I did try and cook. It just… didn't work out too well…" Puzzlement covered his face as he still had no idea what had gone wrong. He thought he'd followed the recipe exactly.
"What happened? You didn't catch anything on fire, did you?"
"No!" He childishly retorted, folding his arms and glaring at Olivia. "I attempted to cook the chicken, but like I said it didn't work. Somehow, I managed to burn the outside of it while the inside was still cold and raw."
Olivia's lips instantly pried together to stop her laughter as the corners curled up in a smile. "Umm… El? You did, by any chance, remember to thaw the chicken before you cooked it, right?"
"What?" He seemed baffled by the question as he shook his head. "It's supposed to be thawed? You can't cook it frozen?" Olivia's expression was answering enough as her grin grew from ear to ear. "How am I supposed to know that?" Frustrated, he tossed his hands up in the air. "The damn thing should come with some kinda disclaimer or something then."
Olivia softly laughed and put her hand on her shoulder, immediately appeasing Elliot. "Don't worry about it. One of these days I'll have to teach you the basics of cooking, but 'til then…" She slipped her hand around Elliot's waist and pulled their bodies together so their hips were touching. "Take-out is wonderful." Her head tossed back so that she could better see Elliot. Her eyes seemed to twinkle in delighted happiness as she talked. "I can't believe that you remembered this was my favorite. I must have told you that years ago."
"We were working on that rape case where our prime suspect was the manager there. When we went to pick him up you said something about it." Elliot recalled the moment without hesitance, as if remembering it after all this time was nothing special. Olivia's mouth just slightly hung open as she stared at Elliot, almost mesmerized by him. When he noticed this, he gave a genuine, unaware shrug. "What?"
--XXX--
"This is nice," Olivia contently sighed as she cuddled closer against Elliot's shoulder. After dinner they'd drifted over towards the couch and were now nestled together on one end.
"Nice and boring," Elliot commented, tossing his arm over Olivia's. He absentmindedly started to trace small circles on the back of her hand with his finger, only noticing when he felt goose bumps begin to rise on her arm. Realizing it was his touch that was triggering her skin's response, Elliot couldn't help but give a small grin.
Olivia breath caught in her throat as soon as she felt his hand on hers. With a slight cough, she managed to find it long enough to speak again. "Because you're not chasing perps around New York, it's boring? What about enjoying the simple things in life?" Tossing her head up, Olivia flipped her hair out of her eyes and studied Elliot.
His eyes twinkled and his smile grew wider. "Never said I wasn't enjoying it." Showing his point, he cunningly slid his arm closer around her. "Besides, I have the perfect game we can play."
"Game?" Olivia raised her eyebrow and glanced over at him. "What kind of game?"
"Well…" He shifted his weight around, trying to get comfortable. "Not really a game. We've been partners for so long, we probably know almost everything about each other, right?" Olivia nodded her head in agreement and he continued. "But there has to be a few things we haven't told each other." Elliot's tone became vaguely suggestive. "The game's like playing just the 'truth' in truth and dare. I call it… 'I never told you.'"
"Oh, you call it?" She smirked at his choice of words.
"Yep, my game," he flashed his own grin right back. "I'll start. Let's see…" Elliot pursed his lips together in thought. "Okay, I never told you that… my favorite color is red."
Olivia's face humorously fell with that sentence. "That's it?" She questioned dubiously. "Your big secret is you like the color red?"
He impatiently clucked his tongue at her and shook his head teasingly. "Well, I figured I'd start with something a little lighthearted before I started drudging up old, heart wrenching secrets."
"Eh, fine. Be that way, then." Olivia smiled and started to think up her mediocre confession. "Oh, 'kay, I have one. But before I even say anything," she pointed an accusing finger at her partner, "I wanna make it clear now that if you make fun of me, I will have no choice but to kick your ass. Got it?"
Elliot quietly laughed as he nodded his head in understanding. "Ooo, threatening bodily harm, this oughta be good."
"I can't believe I'm actually telling you this," she mumbled, her cheeks turning red despite her best efforts to hide her embarrassment. With a final deep breath, she glanced away from his stare and decided to go the "quick and painless" route. "I never told you that I like country music." Her eyes ventured a peek at Elliot to see his face somewhat emotionless and blank, a sign she took to mean he was only seconds away from making some crack about her. "I'm not talking a diehard fan or anything; I just listen to it every now and then." Olivia carefully treaded into clarifying the subject.
"Liv's a banjo music kinda gal?" Truthfully surprised, he made a dismal attempt to cover his expression with a small smile. "I never would have guessed it."
"It is not banjo music!" She instinctively responded, absolutely hating any and all kind of stereotypes. "I'm serious," she insisted, sensing laughter about to start any minute. "The modern music is just like easy-listening stuff. Besides, I like other genres too, not just country."
About a million different comebacks and insults were floating around Elliot's head as he kept his lips tightly pressed together, determined not to break his oath. Just as he was about to lose control of his mouth, he decided to take his turn. "I never told you that my name was almost Elton."
A chuckle escaped Olivia before she could catch herself. "Elton? Are you serious?"
He nodded, finally releasing the iron lock keeping his lips together. "It was my great-grandfather's name on my dad's side. Apparently, when he was on his deathbed, he made my dad swear that he'd name his first born son after him. Luckily, after spending twenty-three hours of labor screaming her head off, my mom managed to negotiate it down to Elliot."
"Well, that's definitely a good thing," Olivia grinned, resting her open palm against his chest while she stared at his shirt. "I don't see myself working with an Elton unless he's wearing a white suit, rose-tinted glasses, and playing a keyboard." She met Elliot's eye long enough to assure him that her jesting was all in good fun.
"All right hypocrite, your turn." He rolled his eyes and gave her shoulder a gentle shove.
"Uh, let's see…" She bit her bottom lip and tried to come up with something simple. The more Olivia thought it, the more she realized this game was probably going to be one-sided, seeing as how Elliot already knew almost everything about her. "I never told you that…" A light bulb suddenly went off in her head. "About a week before I joined the SVU unit, I saw you at a press conference." The memory brought a grin to her face. "You were dressed up in full police uniform, even had that dorky hat they make us wear. I was still waiting for a call back from the 1-6, to see if I'd gotten the job or not and I remember watching you speak and thinking to myself that if all the guys in the unit looked like you, I was gonna have a hell of a time focusing on my work and trying not to stare at them."
Elliot chuckled at her inner monologue and couldn't help but push the subject. "So you liked what you saw?" He joked, brushing a strand of hair from her face.
"Oh yeah," she nodded, unable to stop her widening grin or suppress her laughter. "Then when Cragen first introduced me to you, I was so mortified! I couldn't believe it."
Realization suddenly hit Elliot as he thought back to that day. "That explains it then." When Olivia glanced at him in puzzlement, he elucidated. "You seemed incredibly nervous when we first met, so I tried joking around to break the ice, congratulating the Captain on finally picking somebody hot… You looked like you wanted to crawl into a hole and die."
Olivia slightly blushed as he described her feelings dead on. "What about you, Stabler? What were your first impressions of me?"
Elliot instantly became shifty when she asked that, refusing to meet her eye again. "Oh… um… You don't wanna know that. Really, it's not important. Anyway, moving on…" His voice faded when he caught Olivia's expression and saw that he wasn't getting out of the situation that easily.
"No," she confirmed his fears and shook her head. "Come on, El. I wanna know." Her eyes scanned over his face, attempting to uncover whatever it was he wasn't telling her.
Elliot looked up, away from Olivia's gaze, and sighed unhappily. This was not a conversation he wanted to be having with the woman he was dating. "All right," he finally caved reticently, glancing back down at Olivia, still in his arms. "But only on the understanding that you wanted to know, so you can't get mad at me." Now puzzled and incredibly curious, Olivia just responded by nodding her head in agreement. With a deep breath and another sigh, Elliot finally told her. "In the first few weeks after I met you… I thought you were gay."
"What?" Olivia's mouth fell open in astonishment as she chuckled. "You thought I was gay?" Repeating the statement herself only made her laugh harder, baffling Elliot as he watched this.
"You don't appear to be all that offended," he noted, raising an eyebrow at her. "That's not exactly the reaction I was expecting."
"Offended?" She scoffed, staring at him like he was crazy for suggesting such a thing. Shaking her head, she explained with a smile, "I think that's hilarious."
Elliot narrowed his eyes as he studied her, trying to figure out if this was some kind of test or if she was actually being serious. "Why hilarious?"
"Because…" She shrugged like it was obvious. "You somehow always seemed to find out about each and every guy I dated. I just thought I was kinda straightforward with everything." She cocked her head to the side and looked up at Elliot. "What made you think I was gay?"
Somewhat surprised at her description of herself, Elliot paused for a moment before answering Olivia. "It just seemed like every case we had involving someone who was gay, anytime their sexuality was brought into question or used against them you'd always jump to their defense. That and you had that whole butch thing going for you."
Olivia's eyes widened and she seemed aghast by the suggestion. "What 'butch thing'?" She appeared more offended by this than by Elliot's earlier impression of her as she intentionally shoved his shoulder.
"Oh, like you don't know what I'm talking about." He rolled his eyes roguishly and nudged her back. "You had more blazers and slacks in your wardrobe than half of the guys in the squad combined."
"Elliot, I was working in the police force. Women were still new back than and were stereotyped into being too feminine and not suited for the job. The better blending in you did with the guys, the less crap they gave you. Besides, how was I supposed to dress? Prance around in a poofy pink Barbie dress? Chase perps around in heels?"
"All right," he caved, holding his hands up to surrender that portion of the debate. "But that doesn't explain why you hacked off all your hair that one year. The first time I saw you after you did that, I swear it looked exactly like the haircut Dickie had just gotten."
Olivia just clucked her tongue in annoyance as the embarrassment grew on her face. "I was tired of the style it was in," she attempted to explain. "One day it was really bothering me, so I, spur of the moment, just decided to get it all cut off. Doesn't make me butch, which wouldn't mean I'm gay anyway and that very insinuation is completely stereotypical," she threw in with a raised eyebrow, "and it didn't look that bad."
Elliot just smiled and continued to gaze at her. "Not necessarily, but I liked it better before." He paused slightly and his expression turned slightly worried. "You know I was just playing around before," he suddenly asked. "I wasn't trying to seriously make fun of you."
"Ah… Stabler, ya big lug." She sent a playful, soft punch to his shoulder. "I know you don't think that, at least anymore. Besides, if I were gay, then this really wouldn't work out, now would it?"
"Nope," he shook his head and stated with a serious expression. "'Spose not." Elliot quickly lost his somber appearance in favor of a grin as he pulled Olivia closer towards him again. Turning his head slightly to the side and raising his arm, he gently pushed his hand forward. His fingers brushed against Olivia's cheek, sweeping her hair to the side of her face as they traveled towards her ear. "You know, I really do think you look much more beautiful with long hair." His eyes dotingly gazed across her face, as his hand traveled down her neck.
Olivia almost blushed as she shivered under Elliot's stare and touch. The adoration he observed her with was so intense, so pure… she couldn't stop herself. In one swift motion, she cupped Elliot's head in her hand and brought her lips crashing down onto his. As she leaned forward, Olivia's weight abruptly pushed Elliot back so that he was flat against the couch with her on top of him. Deepening the kiss, her tongue suddenly found its way past Elliot's lips and lingered for a minute until she pulled away. Locking eyes with him, she became lost in the moment. "I love you, Elliot," she blurted without a second thought.
Just as Elliot opened his mouth to say the same, Olivia's expression suddenly changed. Her eyes widened in fear and shock, like she'd just done something horrible. She pushed herself off of her partner and got to her feet. "Liv?" Worried and puzzled, Elliot sat up as well and watched her.
Olivia hurriedly ran to the front door, practically lunging at her shoes as she picked them up. "I… I… I have to go…" She finally managed, clumsily shoving an arm through her still slightly damp sweater.
Befuddled by her abrupt shift in behavior, Elliot got to his feet and rushed after her. "Liv, wait!" He reached out and grabbed her elbow just as she opened the front door. "What's going on?" He stared at the back of Olivia's head and waited for her to answer him, refusing to release his grip.
Biting her lip, Olivia felt her eyes begin to mist over as she realized that Elliot wouldn't let her run away this time. Barely speaking above a whisper, she managed only two words before her voice caught in her throat. "The game…" Her back was still turned to him.
"The game?" Elliot repeated in confusion, her explanation failing to clarify things at first. As he thought about it though, it finally clicked. "'I never told you.' That's the first time you've said you love me." His brows furrowed and he let go of her arm and stood back, not sure what to make of her contradicting actions. "Look, Olivia. If you don't really feel that way, it's all right."
Sensing the hurt in his hollow voice, Olivia whipped around to face him. "No, El, it's not that." Tears glistened in her eyes as her head continued to gently shake back and forth. Immediately feeling an innate need to comfort her, Elliot leaned forward and cupped her cheek in his hand. His thumb slid to the corner of her eye, wiping the moisture away. Olivia carefully tugged herself away from him and walked back towards the couch, kicking her shoe off to the side. A quiet sigh came from her lips as she curled up at the end of the sofa. She sent a glance up to Elliot and he instantly took a seat next to her.
For the next five minutes, as her tears still threatened to pour, Olivia attempted to work up the courage to answer for actions. Elliot's voice was the first to break the silence. "Liv?" He reassuringly slid his hand over her shoulder and gently squeezed. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"
Abandoning all thought processes, Olivia inhaled deeply and chose to ad-lib her explanation. "When I was in college, I met this guy, Mark." The spite in her tone became evident as she spoke his name and kept her gaze blankly settled on her lap. "We dated for about two months and I thought he was incredible. It was the first time I'd ever really fallen in love with someone. One night, we were in bed together and I thought then was as good a time as any to tell him," she shrugged, beginning to nervously play with the hem of the A-line shirt she was still wearing. "So I told him I loved him, and…" Her head began shaking in disbelief and her voice faded out, as if she barely believed her story herself. Olivia's voice became a combination of stifled outrage and hurt. "And he said 'ditto.' When I woke up the next morning he was gone and I never heard from him again. Turns out, that night was just a forewarning for each of my relationships afterwards. Every time I got close to someone… fell in love with them… they would get through using me, the only reason they were with me in the first place, and just run away."
While Olivia recounted the pain and horrible relationships in her past, Elliot began to understand. No man had ever treated her the way she deserved to be treated, with respect and love. She'd never been able to find trust in anyone in her life, so what guarantee did she have that this relationship wouldn't follow familiar roads and end up hurting her as well?
"That's why I'm always dating different guys," Olivia continued, finally confessing the truth she had always tried to deny before. "I never let anyone in and I never got attached. So once a guy found out about my parents or my job and decided to take off, as they all did… it wouldn't end up hurting me as much." A stray teardrop managed to slip down Olivia's cheek as her stare remained fixated on her lap, too ashamed to look Elliot in the eye. As she felt his gaze on her, the first words out of Elliot's mouth were not ones she expected to hear.
"Come here, Liv." Moving forward and closing in any remaining space between them, Elliot pulled Olivia into his embrace. His arms squeezed compassionately tighter around her and idly began massaging her back with his hand. "So, you're worried about me abandoning you, like all the other guys you've been with?" He whispered into her ear, brushing his cheek against her hair. Though Olivia remained silent, Elliot didn't need her conformation.
"Liv, look at me." Sliding his hand up, he gently grasped her chin in his palm and tilted her head back so that she was looking him in the eyes. When he was satisfied that she wouldn't turn away again, he dropped his hand back into his lap. "You said that they'd leave you after they found out about your life, right?" She slowly nodded her head, unable to tear her gaze away from him. "Well, don't I already know about all of that? Your mother, your father, your job… everything that you've been through? And I have always stuck by your side. What makes you think I won't do that now?" He searched her face, trying to find an answer.
Olivia lightly sighed and bit her lip again, racking her mind for a way to make him understand. "Because we were just partners then. There was no commitment with that. But now… things have changed."
"Liv, listen to yourself," he tenderly smiled. "Your logic is worse than Munch's. You say that I was always there for you when we were just partners, but now that we're something more, you think I'm going to turn around and run? I know guys haven't been there for you in the past, but trust me when I say I am not those guys. I'm not going to run out on you like they did. Trust me on that, Liv."
Indescribably touched by his words, Olivia had known Elliot long enough to know that each word he spoke was completely sincere. Despite that, one more thing still troubled her. "Elliot? Can you just promise me one thing?" He nodded without hesitation. "I've had my heart shattered so many times by so many different men, I don't think I could handle being hurt again." Her eyes began to mist over once more. "Whatever you do, whatever happens between us… just promise me that you won't break my heart."
Elliot instantly wrapped his arms around her again, drawing her into another hug. "Never, Liv," he swore to her. "Never…" Leaning back, he gently kissed her forehead. "I love you, Olivia."
"I love you too," she said, this time without hesitation or inhibition as she kissed Elliot's lips again. Smiling, she pulled back and looked at him. "I love you too."
--XXX--
"Don't go to sleep…" Elliot wearily mumbled, nudging his lethargic partner as she lay next to him on the couch. Both were comfortably snuggled underneath a blanket, still embraced. They'd continued talking late into the night until exhaustion had gotten the best of them. Now they were both barely clinging onto consciousness.
"Talking to you or me?" Squinting at him, Olivia noticed his eyes were half shut. Taking that as excuse for her to do the same, she allowed her eyelids to completely close and buried the side of her head against his neck.
"Both," he yawned. "Can't sleep…"
"Why?" Olivia groaned in protest, desperate for a little rest.
"You can't stay again. Tomorrow… IAB… eight o'clock…" Elliot didn't even attempt to form complete sentences from his equally jumbled thoughts.
"I'll get up early then," she huffed sleepily. "Now shut it and let me sleep. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere."
Her statement caught Elliot's ear and he opened his eyes. Glancing down at the half-asleep woman next to him, a grin crossed his face. "Good," he whispered. "Me neither."
Olivia's lips curled into a smile as well as she looked up and met his gaze. "You know what? I think we finally got this date thing down."
"Definitely," he agreed with a chuckle.
--XXX--
Okay reviewers, here we go. Now I am painfully aware that between chapters 15 and 16 I lost most of my reviewers because of the long time it took me to update. And again, I'm sorry. But for all those of you who are still reading, I have a choice for you. Now, I can either go one of two ways. I can continue to update at the pace I have been lately,(Because of all my school work and personal responsibilities, I hardly have time to write and update.) or I can end the story now or within a chapter or two. Honestly, I only write this because of my readers and reviewers, so if no one's reading this, I don't want to continue to drag it out. So, drop a review and let me know, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks again and happy holidays:)