Disclaimer: I do not own Rave Master (Groove Adventure Rave) in anyway
Teaser: six reasons Haru Glory was better off eloping
reason one: the Sister Who is Likely an Wicked Overlord
reason two: the Frilly White Dress of Awesome Evilness
Warnings: none, except that fact that I'm writing blind here… no wait, that's not right. That's not even possible… or it is possible, but it would look something like this: iaohioahjyiahjnio aie vnaoi jgoifae mgtf. So never mind.
Timeline: I take a few liberties with the ages here, and think along the lines that the adventure took a while and people got married younger
II. Dress
Things were bound only to get worse from there. Elie and Cattleya couldn't spend more than five minutes in the same room before they were ripping each other's throat out.
But, despite all that, the wedding continued at its pace. It seemed neither God nor the Devil could stop the wedding. It just kept on going and going and going, breaking backs and bones as it went.
In fact, Haru was sure that it was fueled by stubbornness. Neither Elie nor Cattleya tried to cease the wedding. In fact, they were driven to keep it on track just to show the other up.
And then Cattleya brought out the big guns.
A big gun in white, frilly lace.
Elie didn't stand a chance. Poor girl.
Haru had been upstairs, minding his own business. By minding his own business, he meant he had been trying to avoid Elie and Cattleya as much as he could. He wasn't looking forward to Make Haru Choose Sides Part II.
He had been playing with his sword, swinging it around, thinking about the good old days. The good old days where all there had been to worry about was collecting Rave Stones and beating the Shadow Guard and for your lives and healing from deadly wounds and staying alive… yes, those were the days.
Then Elie had rushed passed him, sobbing like a little girl. Haru stared after her and then reacted. Whoa… what the f—?
"Elie?" he called just as she slammed the bathroom door shut. Her sobs could be heard on the other side. Haru knocked lightly on the door, not wanting to get a verbal smack down for his attempts. "Elie, what's wrong?"
"I'm not coming out!" Elie sobbed wildly, choking on her sobs. "I'm not coming out until that… that… woman puts that horrid, evil thing away!"
"…huh…?"
Of course, Haru knew who the 'woman' was. But just what horrid, evil thing was she talking about?
Cattleya walked up the stairs and came around to where Haru was addressing the door of the bathroom. He noticed the frilly what bundles in her arms. Like he had been buried, Haru jumped away.
"What," he hissed as he glared at the white dress in his sister's arms, "have you done?" He crossed himself and kept a distance between him and Cattleya. "That was to never be taken out again! Do you realize the evil you have brought upon us?"
"Knock it off," Cattleya snapped and shook out the dress. It flowed to the floor in a hideous bundle of lace and frills. The puffy sleeves had been tarnished with age and the collar was made of a horrifyingly pink bow. "This was our mother's wedding dress. Elie should where it."
"I don't care if the ruler of the world wore it!" Elie sobbed from the bathroom; apparently she had been listening to the entire conversation. "I'm not!"
"I thought we agreed never to speak of this? It's a thing of pure evil. You know? Causes hurricanes and earthquakes and fireballs to rain down from the sky?" Haru asked, motioning to the wedding gown. "We all agreed it's Satan's dress."
"I want Elie to wear it," Cattleya said and narrowed her eyes at Haru.
"No!" Elie screamed.
"Why don't you wear it?" Haru asked, crossing his arms over his chest. Normally, he didn't take sides in the power trips between his fiancé and sister but the dress was a low blow.
His sister eyed the dress, big and puffy and white with lace and frill. Then she looked back at her brother. "No," she said.
"Then why does Elie have to wear it?" Haru pointed out.
"Yes!" Elie agreed venomously from behind the door. "Why does Elie have to wear it?"
"Because…" Cattleya trailed off and then her face lit up. "Because you have to! It's a great way to initiative you into the Glory family." Haru rolled his eyes but it went unnoticed by Cattleya.
"We initiate people by… torturing them and making them give their souls up to the Devil—wait, we initiate people?" Haru asked in obvious confusion. Well, it was news to him.
The door to the bathroom ripped up and Elie stuck her messy brown head out of it. She glared at Cattleya and then ripped the dress from her fingers. "Fine! But I'm making some adjustments to it." Then she slammed the door again.
"Adjustments!" Cattleya thundered and threw herself out the door. "What do you mean adjustments? Haru do something!"
Haru considered throwing himself off the roof of the house, but decided against it. If he survived, he would have to walk down the aisle in crutches. And he would still be caught between the power plays of Cattleya and Elie. He would just be in a lot more physical pain.
God hated Haru Glory…
As his sister began to scream at the door, rapping her fists against it, and Elie began to answer in an equally enraged voice, Haru chose that moment to flee. Flee as if his entire life depended on it, not just his sanity.
Women… sometimes it seemed that they were put on the earth just to annoy the hell out of Haru Glory.
If it weren't for the sex…
Haru sighed mournfully. Thanks to Cattleya Haru wasn't getting any of that. Elie wouldn't hear of it, not while that damned woman could jump up and surprise them at any given moment. Elie wouldn't even kiss him most days, too busy waiting for his sister to come around so she could scream at her.
He was lonely, sex-depraved, and half-insane.
If that wasn't hell, what was?
a/n: alright, let's all take a moment to feel sorry for Haru… okay, we're. Anyway. Thanks for the reviews and keep at it. Three more drabbles to go!
Reason Three: The Mood Swings That Bring Doom-y Doom
Reviews:
uhhh: I'm glad you like! I'm glad you think it's funny.
Wish Wielder: you know, I never did either. But when I sat down to write this I thought: hey, you know what would be funny? If Cattleya and Elie hate each other!
Rave Masta: coming from you, it means a lot. I'm just so happy you know that you enjoy my stories. And I'm not too far off from the actual events of the magna? Good. Very… good. :evil laughter:
ipcryss: you have no idea how happy it is when people laugh. Not at me, with me. Yes, laugh with me! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… all I know how to do is my evil laugh.
whoknows: and it only gets funnier…! I hope…
GlorysGirl4Ever: I will try. Luckily, these don't take much effort to update.
Yachtzee: I know the length is wanting… but hey, it says drabbles right? That means they'll be sort. If you think this is sort, I read an Avatar fic once that was just a series of one sentences with different situations. It was good… but odd.
Story Weaver1: I always make fun of Haru. But it's only 'cause I love him. I either maim, torture, or mock those characters which I love the most.