Disclaimer: insert standard disclaimer here

Teaser: six reasons Haru Glory was better off eloping

reason one: the Sister Who is Likely a Wicked Overlord

reason two: the Frilly White Dress of Awesome Evilness

reason three: the Mood Swings that Bring Doom-y Doom

Warnings: lack of complete series-understanding. Also, some sexual undertones but considering the fact that it's me writing… are we really surprised?

Timeline: see first chapter

III. Mood

"You're sister hates me."

"Uhhh…?" Haru blinked and raised his head from his pillow. He had fallen asleep trying to suffocate himself because Cattleya and Elie had forced him to swallow food after food to decide which was best, and obviously they both had made their own dishes.

Neither Elie nor Cattleya could cook and Haru wasn't sure his tastebuds would recover.

To make matters worse, Elie seemed to be going through several different levels of mood swings. First she was angry, crazed Elie, then sorrowful, pitiful Elie, then scorned, neglected Elie.

And now it appeared weepy, needy Elie had decided to make the scene.

"What?" he managed as he looked at her. Elie stood at the threshold of his door, wearing her nightdress that glowed in the moonlight streaming in from his bedroom window.

It was two in the damn morning. Haru's mind was barely functioning. He could barely form a coherent sentence. What did Elie hope to talk to him about?

"You're sister hates me," Elie sniffled.

Oh. That. Was Elie just getting surprised about it now? "Oh… yeah, she does."

That answer didn't sit well with Elie. She stormed over to him and hit him upside his platinum blonde head. "How can you be so calm about this, Haru? We're going to be family and she hates me!"

"Oh, sorry. I meant to say that's terrible. It's horrible. Cattleya should totally stop hating you." He sat up, glared at his clock, and then rubbed Elie's trembling shoulders. He could never really handle it when she was all weepy.

"The bitch," Elie agreed and Haru winced. Well, Cattleya was his sister. It was hard to agree with Elie because Cattleya had been like a mother to him. Elie glanced up at him and caught the look on his face. "You don't agree with me!" she bawled.

Haru caught her as she threw herself onto his shoulder, weeping. "Ah… there… there…?" he supplied, patting her back awkwardly. He had never had to deal with an Elie crying this badly. And Haru was a man. He was oblivious to the fine art of comforting.

"You don't love me!" Elie accused wildly, sniffling. "I know you don't! And it's all her fault. My breasts aren't that big."

He glanced down. Then cursed. Did she have to bring those up? All it did was remind him that he wasn't getting any.

Stupid male libido, Haru snarled at it inside his head as Elie wailed at his silence. You're driving me crazy and making me some stupid, hormonal driven teenager.

Last time I checked, his libido replied smartly, you were a hormonal drive man with the maturity of a teenage. Oh… and Elie thinks you don't love her anymore.

That drew him back to the present task at hand. Elie had taken his silence as an agreement and was now sobbing weakly on his shoulder. Haru's grip tightened and he pressed a kiss to her hair.

"No, I love you, Elie." Haru drew her away from his shoulder and brushed away her tears. "If I didn't love you, would I have let you put me through hell the last two weeks for some damned wedding that—"

"You asshole!" she screamed and hit him, hard, on his chin.

Ten points, champ, his libido told him. Apparently, Haru's sex-drive had more finesse than he himself did. And it wasn't a good sign that the only plausible conversations Haru was having was with his libido these days, was it?

"I didn't mean it like that!" Haru shouted in agony, wishing he had suffocated himself when he had the chance. "I meant… we just should have eloped!"

"Oh no!" Elie hissed and glared at him. "I am not giving your sister the satisfaction of that!"

"Us running off and eloping would make her happy?" he wondered out loud.

Elie didn't answer. She turned into his arms and kissed him on the mouth. Haru's body went soaring and if he wasn't tone deaf he would have sung. "We're getting married Haru, right here. And I'm going to make this my wedding now matter what your stupid sister thinks."

Somewhere along the line everyone seemed to have forgotten that Haru was getting married too…

"Is that it, Elie?" he asked her drawing her attention back to him. Ah, hello? Future husband here? "Or do you want to… stay?"

There was no denying the underlying message. Haru expected Elie to do one of two things. Either jump into his arms and scream about how long she had been waiting for him to invite her in or storm out, saying she wouldn't dare with his sister around. Personally, he hoped it was the former but that could be just his libido talking.

Hey, Haru's libido said, stop bringing me into this.

Instead of doing any of what Haru's mind had imagined, Elie hand shot out and slapped him. He blinked at her in surprise, his cheek red.

"You sick pervert!" Elie accused him, standing and striding to the door. "I'm having a mental breakdown and all you can think about is whether or not you can get into my skirt?"

"That's not all I think about," Haru protested weakly. "Sometimes I think about… no, wait… well, I think that… er, no… well, I certainly think about… never mind. Oh wait! Sometimes I think about my sword!"

But by then Elie had already stormed out.

Groaning, Haru lowered himself back to his pillow and went about suffocating himself again. Then he rolled over and decided not to risk it. Who knows, the level of hell he could be sent to might be just like this…

This is all your fault, his libido accused him.

Sometimes, Haru hated his life.

a/n: Haru's having arguments with his male libido… that can't be a good sign, can it? And what's worse, Haru's libido seems to be better at handling women then Haru himself…

reason four: the Party Planned by the Devil's Compatriots

Reviews

Outsane: why thank you XD

Blonde-Existentialist: you know, I did consider that for a moment. An Elie-Cattleya ending. But then I decided that since Haru was being so abused throughout this story he deserved the girl in the end!

GlorysGirl4Ever: or will she? hmmmm…?

4ever2belove: I notice that I usually end up torturing my favorite characters. When they're abused terribly it's a sign of my love!

StarlitxIcexGoddess9074: Every time someone tells me this is funny I feel… well, good. My ego is being boosted. I thank you.

uhhh: Thank you ever so much. I do try to keep this funny, while at the same time in character. Luckily, Rave Master has quite a number of humorous moments for me to go off of.

Yachtzee: thank you for your words. I appreciate your honest criticism, as well as your compliment. You mentioned my dialogue. Do you mind telling me what you mind lacking so I could approve on it? I'm always looking to improve my writing, especially the dialogue since that is what stories are all about.

Story Weaver1: actually a lot of these things are taken from my older cousin's wedding and premarital experience. This was pretty much his definition of hell, with my exaggerations.

ipcryss: I'm glad you like. I hope to continue to make you laugh!