Disclaimer: I do not own Rave Master… you meanie
Teaser: six reasons Haru Glory was better off eloping
reason one: the Sister Who is Likely a Wicked Overlord
reason two: the Frilly White Dress of Awesome Evilness
reason three: the Mood Swings that Bring Doom-y Doom
reason four: the Party Planned by the Devil's Compatriots
warnings: mention of an underage stripper… but more on her in the next chapter
Timeline: see first chapter
IV. Party
"Oh, you sick bastards," Haru snarled at them all, sleep deprived, needy, and seriously considering becoming an alcoholic. "Show up now, why don't you? Cowards."
Musica and Let shared a look, both amused. Haru imagined ripping off their faces slowly and painfully. A twisted grin worked its way across his mouth.
"He's worse than I thought," Musica said with a shake of his head. "Pick him up, Let. Hurry, before we completely lose him."
Let's scaly hands grabbed Haru's bare upper arms and pulled him into the air. Whee… Haru thought dizzily, I'm flying. Then he got a headache.
"Where the hell are you taking me, traitors?" Haru grumbled as he was dragged out of his house and into the cool night air on Garage Island. "Did I mention how much I hate you all? That's right, I fuc—"
"Poor man," Musica said to Let sadly. "He's been driven insane by being surrounded by two women hell-bent on killing each other over a marriage."
"They're not women, they're demons," Haru growled and tried to jerk himself free of their grip. Let and Musica held fast. "Can't you see I want to be alone?"
But he was already being thrust out of the house and down the path toward the town. Haru rolled his eyes skyward and then brought them back down when Musica and Let halted in their kidnapping of the Rave Master.
"Oh great… you," Haru snarled as he caught sight of the bright red hair and neutrally amused face. "Don't you have somewhere better to be?"
"No," Shuda answered truthfully. Haru glared at him. The redhead had been hanging out around the island for a while now, but ever since Haru had arrived with a wife-to-be in tow he had been wise enough to say away from the house.
Lucky bastard.
Then they continued walking. Haru gave up struggling. Maybe it would be over soon. "Where are we going?" he asked.
"To someplace you need," Musica answered and thumped Haru happily on the back. How dare that man be happy. Haru glared at him.
"An insane asylum?"
"No, a bar."
"You're not taking me to bar," Haru snarled venomously, reaching for his sword that he no longer strapped to his back. Oh damnit…
"Of course we're not," Shuda agreed with a voice that suggested he thought Haru had gone off the deep end. "We're just taking you to a loud, noisy place where people dance, drink, and make out."
"I hate you all," Haru hissed and slumped against them. "Seriously. You guys suck."
"You'll be thanking us soon enough," Musica protested and pushed Haru forward. "You need this bachelor party."
"I don't need a bachelor party," Haru snapped. "I need Elie and Cattleya to stop yelling at each other."
"My friend," Musica pointed out with a laugh and a shake of his head. "I am a man, not a miracle worker."
"The mating rituals of humans are…" Let put in, his voice deep and calm and emotionless. "Most frightening…"
"You're telling me," Haru said moments before he was plunged into a grimy, smelly bar already filled with loud music and a dancing girl.
Wait, dancing girl?
"Oh God… you guys got strippers," Haru moaned as the bouncy-haired blonde waved at them from her position against her pole. Oh God, she was waving at them. She knew who they were.
"No. Actually, we got a stripper," Shuda pointed out. "Her name is Kelly-Anna and apparently she's never done this before. But she's very good."
"Human males like women with large breasts, apparently," Let added nonchalantly.
"Our guest of honor has arrived!" Kelly-Anna cried happily, swinging herself on her pole. Her long, tanned legs wrapped around it and she did a bump and grind.
Oh, God… Haru thought as she jumped up and down in her tiny black skirt and white blouse… kill me now. Just strike me dead with a lightning bolt.
"Hi! Hi!" the bubbly blonde shouted as she jumped from the stage and landed near Haru. She threw her arms around his neck. "I'm Kelly-Anna and you're a lot cuter than I thought you would be, Mr. Glory!"
Haru let himself be dragged away. Was this girl even legal? He felt like an old pervert. Robbing the cradle of something.
The blonde led him to the front seat in front of her stage and waved to the bartender to hand out drinks like they were going out of style. Haru didn't know half the people in the bar, but apparently Musica, Shuda, and Let were all under the impression they were his 'friends'.
"So," Kelly-Anna said as she straddled him, placing her tiny fingers across his chest. "Tell me about yourself." Her eyes were big and blue and innocent and she asked the question like she was a therapist.
"I need better friends," Haru moaned sorrowfully.
a/n: can you just see how much fun I'm going to have with this one? A possible illegal stripper all over Haru Glory, who's about to get married… XD
reason five: the Minor Stripper Who is a Demon of Chaos
Reviewsuhhh: no, they certainly are not, are they? And look, they're not getting better anytime soon…
GlorysGirl2ever: no one decides to be put through what Haru is being put through… Elie and Cattleya are really demons when they need to be
4ever2belove: it's just so easy to pick on him… hm, I wonder why?
Rave Masta: I'm sure in the manga Haru and Elie have a very close relationship, but remember I'm basing this one the anime show I managed to catch every so often… Haru was more oblivious than… well, most guys.
ipcryss: thank you ever so much!
Story Weaver1: I don't have a male libido to argue with… but I've always wondered what's it like to argue with yourself… and lose
Yachtzee: ah yes, I do see your point. But I'm actually basing this fic on real life events, exasperated, of course. My brother was married recently and I've never seen a man come so close to tears in my life. It was rather amusing. And his wife… well, I liked her up until about two months away from the wedding. Than we couldn't stand each other. If we were in the same room for more than ten minutes we were at each other's throats. Weddings change people. XD But since Haru was with his friends, he took a much more aggressive approach in this chapter. Also, he's going to be more aggressive, too. And Elie and Cattleya are toning it down now, too. 'Cause the wedding's almost over. As far as your fic goes, I'll be checking it out!
foxmagic: well, I'm certainly glad I could bring you some form of condolence for the woefully inadequate selection we have of Rave Master fics. If you're looking for some truly good work, look up Rave Masta's (if you haven't already) or Yachtzee's CattleyaShuda fic. If you're into that kind of thing.
birbie101: I've been told by many male friends that they think about sex 90 percent of the time. The rest is filled with sports, video games, and school work (school has about 1 percent). Do I need better guy friends? Probably.
Dark Naruto: we should all feel bad for Haru, honestly
pharaohess18: that would be the other 10 percent of Haru's brain… XD