Genre: The most angst-y yet.
Rating: Still low. Little language, I think, but that's all.
Ship: Well... it's not very shippy, really. Too angsty. -cackle-
Disclaimer: I stilllll don't own anything. Well, except for the plot and the stuff that happens in this chapter. It's mine, as far as I know. Just not the characters or the song.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

I didn't understand the scene in front of me, even though the logic of it was right there. I knew what was going on, I just... didn't want to know. She had promised me that her drinking problem was cleared up... had promised that she was clean. Obviously, she was not. Her hand, coated in both of our blood, fit perfectly in my own, the thin fingers all too familiar as I gripped them, trying to keep them warm. She'd always hated when her hands were cold.

"Sara, you just gotta hold on. Hold on until we get to the hospital, then everything will be okay."

His voice shook, and I knew that he was afraid. I also knew that it was because he was hurt too, but was refusing to let on so I wouldn't be scared. I don't know what made me go to his apartment after the bar. I guess the beer had me feeling cocky, and I wanted to give him a peice of my mind for just disappearing on me. I ended up yelling, and he tried to calm me down, but I was on a rampage. This man... such a brilliant man... was acting completely stupid in front of me, and for the second time in my life, I felt a raw instinct to kill.

A dozen beers made it easy for me to hurt him... and he never fought back. He didn't defend himself, apart from trying to walk away from me when I tried to find something to hit him with. Unable to find anything, I pushed him into the glass case of butterflies on the wall, and it shattered. Glass pinched at my hands as I gripped his shoulders, yelling at him, and he just stared at me, little cuts beginning to bleed on his face. By the time I finished what I wanted to say, I was crying, and he had that look on his face... the one like a kicked puppy, and for a split-second, I wanted to take it all back.

Sara had stormed out, gotten in her car, and now, she was a pile of broken bones and blood on a gurney.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

It was a slow, steady noise that was really too perky for the situation at hand. It was getting slower, she knew, but as long as his chest continued to rise and fall, then she could keep panic subsided. No one was in the room but them, and there were so many words on her tongue that she wanted to spill out onto ears that she wasn't even sure would hear her confession.

She loved this man with every beat of her heart, as much as she hates cliches. No one has told her yet that this is her fault... that she pushed him into a glass case and got glass lodged in a few places that it certainly should not be. All Sara knew was that he was dying, and she had woken too late to catch him awake.

"You should have loved me," she choked out, managing to keep the water works from running down her face by sheer luck. She wanted to cry, but Grissom had seen that too much. Now... she was going to be stronger than that. Stronger than the nine year old who had been sent off to a foster home, stronger than his star student who had stared at him in complete adoration as he went on about criminalistics. He had amazed her from day one with his strength... but that strength was really a lack of feeling, and she knew that now.

"Dammit, Grissom, you should have-" Her voice broke off and she slowly looked up at the monitor. A straight line had never stricken more horror into her chest than it did the day Gil Grissom died.

---

"He loved you, Sara, you know that." Catherine had a grip on the younger woman's arm, but Sara wouldn't look at her. Couldn't look at her.

"No, Catherine, I can honestly say that I don't know." The two women fell into silence and Catherine slowly curled her arms around her.

"Look... I know that your life has been filled with disappointments. I don't know what they were, but you've never been as happy as a beautiful, young woman in love should be. Grissom-"

"Only ever pitied me. And I overanalyzed and thought that he loved me. He was too afraid to be another disappointment to just tell me the truth so he let me believe that he loved me." Pushing Catherine away, Sara grabbed her purse and pulled it up onto her shoulder.

"Where are you going, Sara? You shouldn't be alone right now-"

"Catherine, I've always been alone."

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

"I... I missplaced my key, and I didn't know where else to go..."

"It's fine, Sara. You can stay here and call in the morning. Do... you remember how many drinks you had?"

"I only remember one, but there was more. Other people were buying me drinks and..." She trailed off, staring down at the floor of Grissom's townhouse. "I walked here... instead of driving."

He smiled at her, taking hold of her elbow and leading her toward his bedroom. "Good girl. Now, you just lay down and get some sleep and we'll handle your keys in the morning." He shut the door behind him when he left the room, Sara having passed out the minute her head hit the pillow.

Sunlight filtered in through the window, splaying across her messed up hair and pale face. Her long arms were curled tightly around the pillow beneath her head, her face half-buried in it. The blankets and sheets were wrapped and tangled around her legs, causing Grissom to smile faintly at her. Seeing her like this... so perfectly imperfect made him wonder...

Making his way over to her, he reached out with timid fingers to stroke a bit of hair from her face. The pads of his fingers traced the curve of her jaw, but he drew them away quickly, not wanting to be caught indulging himself in her vulnerability.

Rising from the edge of the bed, he smoothed out his suit pants, blue eyes not once leaving her. There were three words he should have said... three words that would have made him feel, for the first time in ten years of knowing her, like a completed man.

His lips parted to allow them out, but at precisely that moment, she stirred, yawned, and opened two sleepy, brown eyes. They flicked up to him and she smiled faintly.

"Good morning, Sara."

A/N: I really hope I don't need to explain the ending.

I will apologize, though,that this chapter took so long to get up. I got really, really sick this past Friday and couldn't walk on my own, let alone form coherant sentances to finish off this fic.

Oh, and to clear up confusion that you may have about the points of view at the beginning, it starts in Grissom's, then switches to Sara's after the line of dialogue.

Much love to my reviewers, but I think you want this up ASAP so I won't reply to them this time around.