Disclaimer: The usual. Not mine. Not now. Not in the next hour. Never.

Chapter 2: Whose fault is it now?!

"This is a joke, right?! I mean sure, I'm dreaming and I will wake up any second. This just can't be happening."

Duo was close to hyperventilating as soon as he found his voice again. He considered pinching his arm to make sure this wasn't just a *very* bad dream but he let it go since that would have looked simply ridiculous - even for him - and right now he wasn't exactly in the mood to play the joker for everyone.

Instead he grabbed Quatre's arm.

"Do something Q!!!"

Usually the blonde was the one who could come up with something when the other pilots were at their wit's end. Duo began yanking frantically on the blonde's arm as if it would improve Quatre's thinking. This only came to a halt when a pointed glare from Trowa reminded Duo that he'd better not hurt 04 unless he had a death wish.

Duo threw his hands up in the air and let himself slump unceremoniously onto the door.

"Why me? Why do I always have to end up in situations like this?" The braided teenager lamented.

"I would rephrase that, Maxwell." Wufei's answer was to the point. "Why is it always you that manages to get us in such a mess?"

Duo was quick on his feet defend himself. "Hey, that was mean. Take that back!" He protested indignantly. In a huff he leant back against one of the metal walls donning a thoroughly annoyed expression.

"Okay, I gotta admit that I sometimes do have small accidents," Duo conceded slowly and added as an afterthought, "but most of the times, I swear, it really hasn't been my fault."

The others looked on rather doubtful.

"And this time," Duo continued trying to sound convincingly, "it's absolutely not my fault and if it wouldn't be for that goddamn crazy scientist I would be in bed now sleeping or at least getting something decent to eat." His stomach rumbled loudly as if to support his tirade. "Or at least be somewhere else besides here – with Mr. Perfect or rather what's currently left of him." He muttered under his breath casting a cold glare at the sleeping kid.

"Duo, he's just a kid." Quatre said reprovingly and gave him a shove with his elbow which almost sent the unsuspecting Duo stumbling over his linked feet onto the floor.

"Ouch. Q, what the hell?" Duo cursed loudly and rubbed his ribcage.

"Quiet, Maxwell. We have other things on our mind than your discomfort. And please act your age. We have to figure out what to do with Yuy."

Trust Wufei to always bring it down to the point.

While Duo continued to silently sulk on the floor, the other three started to discuss what to do with the mini 01.

'God, it's always like that. Everyone is so freaking jumpy around Mr. Perfect. What's so special about him anyway?' Duo pondered in his mind.

'Good, he is an exceptional soldier but he's far from perfect. He's simply lacking too many other important things, like teamwork or undercover specialities. He's way too stuck up to ever blend in somewhere. And there he goes accusing me of taking our missions not seriously enough. Yuy just doesn't get that there are also other ways than his to successfully complete a mission.'

Duo drummed his fingers annoyed on his knee.

'He probably didn't even realize that he dragged all the attention on him in that school undercover mission and not me. Yuy is always so freaking focused on the mission, he doesn't even understand the need to act normal to not blow our cover. He can only be lucky for so long before he'll get caught. I think he better starts sorting out his problems rather than me.' Duo still fumed in remembrance of their last fight – one of many that had occurred during their teamed missions. He wondered why J and Doc G insisted that they worked together. After all they just didn't mix well. In general, 01 and 02 just called for a disastrous mission sooner or later. And just that had occurred the last time, both of them barely escaping with their lives, leaving their gundams in urgent need for repairs. Now it looked like not only Wing was in need of good repairs but its pilot as well.

Duo shifted on the cold metal floor. No matter which position he just couldn't get comfortable. He blew a dirty strand of hair out of his face. The quiet mumbling voices of his comrades were making him tired. The grumpy teen yawned. He was in serious need of a good night sleep and maybe a shower, too. Sleep was priority though. You could never know when you had to get moving.

'God, I hope I can get out of here soon. I don't even want to imagine what Yuy will say when he wakes up. Not that it wasn't his fault anyway. His stupid obedient soldier shit has gotten us in this mess. Instead of developing half a brain, all he can do is follow orders. God help him if there should ever come up a situation where improvisation is needed. Our dear perfect soldier would probably not be so perfect anymore but seriously fucked.' Duo mused tiredly.

'Gah, who cares?! For now he's just a kid anyway. Not oh so great anymore, eh?' Duo was so engrossed in his thoughts that he almost missed the excited voices calling his name. He looked up to find a concerned Quatre frowning at him while Wufei merely raised an eyebrow. The braided teen had the suspicion that the Chinese pilot could see right through his act. Ignoring the curious glances of his co-pilots, Duo jumped up and walked over.

"What's up guys? Found a way to world peace?" He asked snarkily.

"Oh Duo! Stop being cranky! I know you're exhausted but we need Heero. This has priority now." Quatre chided.

Duo refrained from replying but couldn't help thinking what a useless fuss they were making about 01. As if they hadn't anything better to do than to worry about things which were too late to change now anyway.

His feet itched to return to the safe house, get a check over on Deathscythe done before heading off to dreamland. Duo preferred to go with the flow, no time wasted on spilled milk if you could dub 01 as spilled milk, well if, then very sour milk. Duo wrinkled his nose as he approached the small body on the bed.

Duo was not exactly soldier material. He knew that. He didn't like being ordered around especially by one Heero Yuy. Maybe that was why he and Yuy didn't mix. Whereas 01 came up with a detailed plan and strictly went by orders, Duo had no trouble with improving and changing plans where he deemed it fit. His excellent analytical skills led him to adapt quickly to new situations and equipped him with an unnaturally short reaction time.

Therefore, Duo had long since concluded, that the answer to this mess was not to be found in here as J was obviously already gone. Meaning there was no need to stick around any longer. He was just waiting now for his comrades to come to the same conclusion, so that they could finally leave.

So he remained quiet and listened patiently to what Quatre had to say after all it was Heero he was mad at and not Quatre.

"Look Duo! We found this", he hold up something like a letter, "laying next to Heero. It's from J."

At this Duo's ears perked up. Maybe a clue to where that lunatic was hiding?

"Let me see! I want to know what that son of a bitch did and how to fix it or whatever so I can get out of here asap. I don't understand why we can't just leave him here anyway." He added nonchalantly.

"Duo! He's a just kid now." Quatre said reproachfully.

"You said that already and by the way you seem to forget that this is still 01. Well, okay maybe in a smaller packet but probably still just as annoying as hell anyway. So why bother?"

Wufei almost had to roll his eyes. They all knew that Duo didn't get along with Heero. Their personalities clashed somewhat and Heero's attitude towards Duo wasn't all that great either, not that Duo wasn't exactly an angel either but you could get along with him as long as you wouldn't try to change him. That was exactly Yuy's problem. He never had to deal with a person like Duo in his life before and Duo couldn't and wouldn't fit into the mould Heero wanted to fit him into. Wufei was a keen observer and kept a close watch on 01 and 02 to prevent an escalation if necessary. But usually he tried to simply ignore Duo's biting remarks if they weren't directed at him. That of course was a totally different matter.

Now Wufei couldn't help but frown at Duo. "How do you know that this really is 01 as we know him? This letter actually says that not only the DNA was changed to his younger self but also his whole memory should be that of a five year old as well. That means this is not Heero Yuy as we knew him but a whole new person. A kid at that, who won't know a single person here."

Duo starred at him dumbfounded. He just couldn't imagine an innocent childlike Heero. The picture in his head just seemed terribly wrong.

"Guys, that idea is kinda freaking me out here. I can't wrap my head around this. Heero sweet and smiling and... Uahh!" Duo shook himself. "No way!"

Just the idea was crazy. "Forget it, Wufei. This is nuts. What was it that J wanted to achieve this time anyway?"

He scanned the letter.

"What a sick idiot!" Duo muttered under his breath.

Apparently J had tried to rewind the perfect soldier to ensure highest efficiency during his missions. Therefore he had tried to delete all the 'troublesome data' as J had phrased it in the letter to keep 01's mind free from distracting thoughts and at top performance.

Unfortunately something went wrong and the whole progress went back a bit too far. Way too far and now Yuy was stuck as a child – at least for the time being.

Duo didn't like were this was going. Uh oh! The sinking feeling in his stomach was justified when he came to the last sentence of the letter.

'As I am a very busy scientist and in the need of the utmost concentration, I have no time to supervise 01. Therefore you will be in charge of him for the time being. Just take it as a short vacation and lay low. J'

Duo sucked in his breath. This was it. His death sentence.

"A short vacation?!" he almost but screamed, "He's gotta be kidding us!!! We are gundam pilots and no freaking babysitters."

Unbeknownst to Duo, his loud exclamation served to wake up the problem in question - Heero Yuy.