I don't own the rights to lost or any of the characters which were created by and belong to JJ Abrams, Damon Lindelof, and ABC.
The pool of crimson swelled on the cold hardwood floor rolling down the clean white bed sheets and in that moment the shaking child underneath the bed knew things would never be the same again…
Sawyer woke up with a start, anxious sweat sticking to his body like the self loathing he could never escape. His eyes darted around, breathing heavily desperately trying to bring him back to reality. Reality? He thought ironically as he surveyed the idyllic beach before him. He found it far harder to comprehend the last 50 or so days, the crash, the island, than the nightmares that plagued him nightly. The screams, the blood, the way his body would contort and tremble at the twisted memories of a darkened loss of innocence, they always seemed so real and as much as he wanted to escape them, in his mind; he deserved them.
The dusky coloured sky cast a melancholy shadow over the beach, the only sound the ocean lapping softly against the shore. Sawyer gazed around at the sleeping forms, it was still early, 4 in the morning at most. He breathed an internal sigh of relief. No one had seen him shaking, crying out in his sleep begging to be released from the nightmare world in which he fought battles with his shadowed demons, the dark shards of his heart. He couldn't let people see this side of him; his weakness. He couldn't let people get close; he didn't deserve love.
And so he sat there building his mental defences, brick by brick building the walls to shadow his mind for the day ahead, knowing full well he would never go back to sleep now.
Out of the corner of his eye, he suddenly saw movement; he turned his head sharply and saw someone running. He didn't need to look twice to know who it was; Kate.
The girl was always running unable to keep still for one damn moment, always running off on some adventure or mission, but this time was different.
He quickly rose to his feet knowing that something was wrong and for once it wasn't a polar bear or a monster chasing her, this was far worse, her recognised it on her face the force that threatened to tear her apart from inside out, the same self loathing he felt.
He started running, not just running, running after her. Something he never thought he'd do "Kate!" He called unaware he had used her real name she kept running. They ran for what seemed an eternity, he desperately tried to catch up with her but he had to face facts; the girl was an expert runner.
"you run, I con, a tiger don't change it's stripes" he remembered saying to her after she confronted him about taking the guns and he was right, here she was running again. They were just coming to a clearing when Kate tripped falling painfully on her ankle. Sawyer caught up with her and breathlessly tried to help her up, but she struggled, desperately trying to bat him away before trying to stand on her throbbing ankle. She let out a cry of pain and Sawyer wrapped his strong arms around her, simultaneously cocooning her and imprisoning her. She knew there was no escape.
" Freckles, you need to stop running" he whispered in her ear. He felt her entire body tremble and tears course rivers down her beautiful face, her breathing sharp and heavy. He wrapped his arms a little tighter around her and her head found his chest, sobbing out her heartbreak. Sawyer realised he had never done this in his life before, comforting wasn't his style, but then Kate was no ordinary girl. As much as he tried to hide it. He felt a connection to her more than anyone else on the island, hell maybe in the entire world. She knew more about him that he'd care to admit to anyone else and their dark pasts meant they understood each other deeply. He knew that this was all he wanted right now, to hold this woman in his arms and try to take away the pain. She didn't deserve this he thought to himself. He knew at that moment all he wanted was to protect her.
He felt her breathing soften and her body relax. "Mind telling me why we're stood in the jungle of mystery at four in the morning sassafras?" he said loosening his protective grip on her so he could look at her face.
She looked around the scenery with a sad smile before looking down to the jungle floor "I had a nightmare" she said a single tear travelling down her flushed cheek. Sawyer used one hand to support her back and move her closer to him and the other to lift her chin up and brush away the tear. "I know" he said their eyes locking in an intense gaze, creating a moment where every unspoken word was spoken. Every heartbreak, every fear and every hope they ever had personified in the silent conversation between two halves of a whole.
Caught up in the haze of reading between the lines, like unwritten sonnets, they both looked deep into each others eyes and caught a metaphor of themselves, the comfort they both longed for and the love they secretly desired.
"You were right" She murmured, "I do always run" looking sadly it him. It was the first time he had ever really noticed her eyes, sure he'd looked at them but, this time he really saw, the green depths matching the jungle around them, mysterious and dangerous but strangely home.
He smiled softly at her, in his eyes she saw the ocean and the part of her she was searching for all along, the uncertain serenity she saw within him. "That's not true Freckles, you're not running now" he said dropping his gaze to the arms still loosely wrapped around her. "We should get back to camp" She said smiling.
"As you wish, cupcake" He said smirking back at her. In one synchronised moment he held her around the waist while she placed her arm around his neck and they made their way back to the camp, safe in the knowledge that for the first time in their lives, it was okay to lean on someone.