A/N: Sorry again for the late post. You all have permission to sack me and replace me with a llama. At least I got my Kenshin Neko stories updated. ^_^ And I'm gonna do a Soujiro/Misao ficcie (I LOVE SOUJIRO!) If you got ideas as to what you want in the fic, lemme know!
Disclaimer: If I owned Monty Python, I'd probably be in my 40's by now. If I owned Kenshin, I'd be fluent in Japanese. Since I am neither of these, it is safe to assume that I take no credit. I'm just demented :D
Note -- There is a few themes/words not really suitable for really young kids in this scene, so just be forewarned. This is one of those scenes that made me have to make this a pg-13 rated story. So sorry, totts!
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Rurouni Kenshin and the Holy Sakabato
Scene 5
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Shinsengumi: [parading and chanting] Aku soku za-a-annn. Evil swiftly sla-a-ainnnn. [all hit selves over the heads with ouigi boards]
Aku soku za-a-annn,... [bonk]
...Evil swiftly sla-a-ainnn. [bonk]
Aku soku za-a-annn... [bonk]
...Evil swiftly sla-a-ainn.
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! [bonk] A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!
Shinsengumi: [chanting] Aku soku za-a-aannn...
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! We've found a cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! We've got a cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! We've found a cross-dresser! We've found a cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!
Anji: We have found a cros-sdresser. May we burn him?
JupponGatana: Burn him! Burn! Burn him! Burn him!
Aoshi: [stops meditating with a timer in his hands] How do you know he is a cross-dresser??
Cho: He looks like one, ya ninny!
JupponGatana: Right! Yeah! Yeah!
Aoshi: [rubs temples] Bring him forward.
Kamatari: I'm not a cross-dresser. I'm not a cross-dresser.
Aoshi: [silently gags himself] ... You are dressed as one.
Kamatari: They dressed me up like this.
JupponGatana: Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
Kamatari: And these aren't my boobs, they're fake!
Aoshi: [pokes one] Well?
Anji: Well, we did do the boobs.
Aoshi: ...
Anji: And the make-up, but he is a cross-dresser!
Cho: Hell, yeah!
JupponGatana: We burn him! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
Aoshi: Did you dress him up like this?
Cho: HELL YEA--[SMACK] ow! ..no.
Anji and Houji: No. No.
Anji: No.
Cho: No.
Cho and Houji: No.
Anji: Yes.
Cho: Damn straight.
Houji: Well, maybe a little...
Anji: Not much.
Houji and Cho: Really, not much.
Anji: A bit.
Houji: He has got girly looks.
Aoshi: What makes you think he is a cross-dresser?
Cho: Well he tried to turn me into a geisha!
Aoshi: A geisha?
Cho: I didn't pass the test.
Anji: Burn him anyway!
Houji: Burn!
JupponGatana: Burn him! Burn! Burn him!...
Aoshi: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a cross-dresser.
Cho: Are there?
Anji: Ah?
Houji: What are they?
JupponGatana: Tell us! Tell us!...
Aoshi: Tell me. What do you do with cross-dressers?
Cho: Burn!
Anji: Burn!
JupponGatana: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
Aoshi: And what do you burn apart from cross-dressers?
Cho: More cross-dressers!
Anji: Shh!
Houji: Riceballs!
Aoshi: So, why do cross-dressers burn?
[pause]
Houji: B--... 'cause they can't cook?
Aoshi: Good.
JupponGatana: Oh, yeah. Oh.
Aoshi: So, how do we tell whether he can cook?
Anji: Make him start a cooking fire!.
Aoshi: Ah, but can you not also make a fire when you're a pyromaniac?
Anji: Oh, yeah. [All JupponGatana pause to think of Shishio and sigh happily]
Aoshi: Can cross-dressers creat edible food?
Cho: No. No.
Anji: No, it's awful, AWFUL!
Cho: Make him write a recipe!
JupponGatana: A recipe! Make him write a recipe!
Aoshi: Who else cannot cook?
Anji: Yumi!
Cho: Soujiro!
Houji: Usui!
Anji: Tae!
Cho: Uhh, Tomoe!
Anji: Megumi!
Houji: Aristocrats!
Cho: Ninja! NINJAS!
Anji: Shinsengumi!
Kenshin: Kaoru-dono!
JupponGatana: Ooooh.
Aoshi: Exactly. So, logically...
Anji: If... his... food... is as inedible as Kaoru-san's,... then he can't cook.
Aoshi: And therefore?
Cho: A cross-dresser!!
Anji: A cross-dresser!
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!...
Yumi: Here is Kaoru-san.
Kaoru: -_-;;
Aoshi: Very good. We shall use my largest kitchen.
JupponGatana: Ohh! Ohh! Burn the cross-dresser! Burn the cross-dresser! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Ahh! Ahh...
Aoshi: Right. Here are the ingredients
[foom!] [alarms] [smoke fills air] [Kamatari's rice balls are black cinders]
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!
Kamatari: I think I got screwed over...
Houji: Burn him!
JupponGatana: Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn! Burn!...
Aoshi: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of weirdos and are so short?
Kenshin: [sweatdrop] I am Kenshin, King of the Laundry.
Aoshi: [flings script across stage] Sorry, Himura, I don't like you enough to bow before you.
Kenshin: Oro? Fine, you're worthy to join me an my idiot-samurai.
Aoshi: I guess I've got nothing else to do, seeing that my timer broke.
Kenshin: What is your name, de gozaru ka?
Aoshi: "Aoshi", baka.
Kenshin: [restrains Battousai half from slicing off Aoshi's head while knighting him] Then I dub you "Sir Aoshi, Samurai of the Laundry".
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A/N: That was..rather long. Its 3 AM so sorry if my humour slipped, gotta give a girl credit for trying tho, ne? I'll do parts 6 & 7 together, however since 6 is like a paragraph long. I just have no clue how I'm gonna make a song/musical of Samurai of the Laundry. -_-;
Kamatari: I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE STRAIGHT SO THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS REVIEW!!!!!
Me: o.o You are one weird ...person.
Kamatari: At least I don't fall for guys who creepily smile all the time.
Me: SOUJIRO-SAMA'S SMILE IS NOT CREEPY, YOU, YOU...WITCH!
[Actual crowd of witch-burning-goers come in] THERE'S A WITCH! BURN HER!!
Kamatari: THIS ISN'T OVER PHOENIX!! [runs away]
Me: Please review. I love reviews, they make me jump for joy and wiggle my toes. [hey, how many people do you know who can move their little toe all by itself?]
^______^
Disclaimer: If I owned Monty Python, I'd probably be in my 40's by now. If I owned Kenshin, I'd be fluent in Japanese. Since I am neither of these, it is safe to assume that I take no credit. I'm just demented :D
Note -- There is a few themes/words not really suitable for really young kids in this scene, so just be forewarned. This is one of those scenes that made me have to make this a pg-13 rated story. So sorry, totts!
----------
Rurouni Kenshin and the Holy Sakabato
Scene 5
----------
Shinsengumi: [parading and chanting] Aku soku za-a-annn. Evil swiftly sla-a-ainnnn. [all hit selves over the heads with ouigi boards]
Aku soku za-a-annn,... [bonk]
...Evil swiftly sla-a-ainnn. [bonk]
Aku soku za-a-annn... [bonk]
...Evil swiftly sla-a-ainn.
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! [bonk] A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!
Shinsengumi: [chanting] Aku soku za-a-aannn...
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! We've found a cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! We've got a cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! We've found a cross-dresser! We've found a cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!
Anji: We have found a cros-sdresser. May we burn him?
JupponGatana: Burn him! Burn! Burn him! Burn him!
Aoshi: [stops meditating with a timer in his hands] How do you know he is a cross-dresser??
Cho: He looks like one, ya ninny!
JupponGatana: Right! Yeah! Yeah!
Aoshi: [rubs temples] Bring him forward.
Kamatari: I'm not a cross-dresser. I'm not a cross-dresser.
Aoshi: [silently gags himself] ... You are dressed as one.
Kamatari: They dressed me up like this.
JupponGatana: Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
Kamatari: And these aren't my boobs, they're fake!
Aoshi: [pokes one] Well?
Anji: Well, we did do the boobs.
Aoshi: ...
Anji: And the make-up, but he is a cross-dresser!
Cho: Hell, yeah!
JupponGatana: We burn him! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
Aoshi: Did you dress him up like this?
Cho: HELL YEA--[SMACK] ow! ..no.
Anji and Houji: No. No.
Anji: No.
Cho: No.
Cho and Houji: No.
Anji: Yes.
Cho: Damn straight.
Houji: Well, maybe a little...
Anji: Not much.
Houji and Cho: Really, not much.
Anji: A bit.
Houji: He has got girly looks.
Aoshi: What makes you think he is a cross-dresser?
Cho: Well he tried to turn me into a geisha!
Aoshi: A geisha?
Cho: I didn't pass the test.
Anji: Burn him anyway!
Houji: Burn!
JupponGatana: Burn him! Burn! Burn him!...
Aoshi: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a cross-dresser.
Cho: Are there?
Anji: Ah?
Houji: What are they?
JupponGatana: Tell us! Tell us!...
Aoshi: Tell me. What do you do with cross-dressers?
Cho: Burn!
Anji: Burn!
JupponGatana: Burn! Burn them up! Burn!...
Aoshi: And what do you burn apart from cross-dressers?
Cho: More cross-dressers!
Anji: Shh!
Houji: Riceballs!
Aoshi: So, why do cross-dressers burn?
[pause]
Houji: B--... 'cause they can't cook?
Aoshi: Good.
JupponGatana: Oh, yeah. Oh.
Aoshi: So, how do we tell whether he can cook?
Anji: Make him start a cooking fire!.
Aoshi: Ah, but can you not also make a fire when you're a pyromaniac?
Anji: Oh, yeah. [All JupponGatana pause to think of Shishio and sigh happily]
Aoshi: Can cross-dressers creat edible food?
Cho: No. No.
Anji: No, it's awful, AWFUL!
Cho: Make him write a recipe!
JupponGatana: A recipe! Make him write a recipe!
Aoshi: Who else cannot cook?
Anji: Yumi!
Cho: Soujiro!
Houji: Usui!
Anji: Tae!
Cho: Uhh, Tomoe!
Anji: Megumi!
Houji: Aristocrats!
Cho: Ninja! NINJAS!
Anji: Shinsengumi!
Kenshin: Kaoru-dono!
JupponGatana: Ooooh.
Aoshi: Exactly. So, logically...
Anji: If... his... food... is as inedible as Kaoru-san's,... then he can't cook.
Aoshi: And therefore?
Cho: A cross-dresser!!
Anji: A cross-dresser!
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!...
Yumi: Here is Kaoru-san.
Kaoru: -_-;;
Aoshi: Very good. We shall use my largest kitchen.
JupponGatana: Ohh! Ohh! Burn the cross-dresser! Burn the cross-dresser! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Ahh! Ahh...
Aoshi: Right. Here are the ingredients
[foom!] [alarms] [smoke fills air] [Kamatari's rice balls are black cinders]
JupponGatana: A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser! A cross-dresser!
Kamatari: I think I got screwed over...
Houji: Burn him!
JupponGatana: Burn him! Burn him! Burn him! Burn! Burn!...
Aoshi: Who are you who are so wise in the ways of weirdos and are so short?
Kenshin: [sweatdrop] I am Kenshin, King of the Laundry.
Aoshi: [flings script across stage] Sorry, Himura, I don't like you enough to bow before you.
Kenshin: Oro? Fine, you're worthy to join me an my idiot-samurai.
Aoshi: I guess I've got nothing else to do, seeing that my timer broke.
Kenshin: What is your name, de gozaru ka?
Aoshi: "Aoshi", baka.
Kenshin: [restrains Battousai half from slicing off Aoshi's head while knighting him] Then I dub you "Sir Aoshi, Samurai of the Laundry".
----------
A/N: That was..rather long. Its 3 AM so sorry if my humour slipped, gotta give a girl credit for trying tho, ne? I'll do parts 6 & 7 together, however since 6 is like a paragraph long. I just have no clue how I'm gonna make a song/musical of Samurai of the Laundry. -_-;
Kamatari: I HAD TO PRETEND TO BE STRAIGHT SO THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS REVIEW!!!!!
Me: o.o You are one weird ...person.
Kamatari: At least I don't fall for guys who creepily smile all the time.
Me: SOUJIRO-SAMA'S SMILE IS NOT CREEPY, YOU, YOU...WITCH!
[Actual crowd of witch-burning-goers come in] THERE'S A WITCH! BURN HER!!
Kamatari: THIS ISN'T OVER PHOENIX!! [runs away]
Me: Please review. I love reviews, they make me jump for joy and wiggle my toes. [hey, how many people do you know who can move their little toe all by itself?]
^______^