A/N: This has gotta be the easier of my fics to write. The others take too much thinking. *sighs* Anywho, here's scene 8. Now we get into the extreme of wackies.
Disclaimer: I dont' own RK or Monty Python. Hell, I don't even own the French.
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Rurouni Kenshin and the Holy Sakabato
Scene 8
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[King Kenshin music and the sound of burnt riceballs clacking against each other]
KENSHIN: Halt!
YAHIKO: [blows a horn, making many unpleasant sounds before producing anything that sounds near to what it should]
SAMURAI: [sweatdrop]
KENSHIN: Hallo! [pause] Hallo!
ENISHI: Allo! Who is eet? [Glares at Phoe-chan for making him have a ridiculous but hilarious accent.]
KENSHIN: It is King Kenshin, and these are my Samurai of the Laundry. Whose dojo is this?
ENISHI: Whose dojo do you think eet is? Yukishiro Enishi's of course!
KENSHIN: Ehhrm..Right. Go and ask your sister if we can stay for the night, and then she can marry me then die so I can find a holy sakabato.
ENISHI: Well, I'll ask her, but I don't think she'll be very keen. Uh, she's already got one, you see.
KENSHIN: What?
SOUJIRO: He says they've already got one!
KENSHIN: Are you sure she's got one?
ENISHI: Oh, yes. He's very nice-a. They plan to get married next week-a. (This dope thinks he's got a chance with my sister!)
ENISHI'S MEN: [chuckling]
KENSHIN: Did you just say 'He'? As in her sakabato has gender?
ENISHI: Of course not! He is her fiancé, not her sword!
KENSHIN: Well, why didn't you say that before, you stupid...what are you?
ENISHI: I'm American-dubbed! Why do think I have this outrageous accent and can't pronounce words right, you silly king-a?!
SOUJIRO: What are you doing in England? ...Wait..What are WE doing in England?
ENISHI: Mind your own business!
KENSHIN: If you will not show us the sakabato, we shall take your dojo by force!
ENISIH: You don't frighten us, Subtitled pig-dogs! Go and boil your tofu, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Kenshin King, you and all your silly samurai k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
SOUJIRO: [smiling, as usual] What a strange person.
KENSHIN: Now look here, my good man--
ENISHI: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed toilet-bowl cleaner! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a rooster and your father smelt of rotten plums!
SOUJIRO: What's a toilet bowl?
ENISHI: You don't wanna know. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a! [sniff]
KENSHIN: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
ENISHI: (Fetchez la vache.)
ASSISTANT: Quoi?
ENISHI: (Fetchez la vache!) [mooo]
KENSHIN: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-- [twong--cow is suddenly catapulted over the dojo wall] [mooooooo] Holy Tofu!
SAMURAI: Christ! [thud] Ah! Ohh!
KENSHIN: Right! Charge!
SAMURAI: Charge! [mayhem, several animals, foods and such are tossed over the wall, with the occasional geisha that Sano attempts to snag.]
ENISHI: Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go. [more mayhem] And this one's for your dad!
KENSHIN: Run away!
SAMURAI: [stare at Kenshin] WHAT?
ENISHI: Thppppt! [taunting]
SAITOH: Ahous! I'll tear them apart!
KENSHIN: No, no. No, no.
AOSHI: Battousai! I have a plan, ....sir.
[later]
[wind] [saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw]
[Enishi stares out into woods] [clunk] [bang] [rewr!]
[Gigantic Tanuki on wheels is pushed up to the gate] [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak] [rrrr rrrr rrrr] [drilllll] [sawwwww] [clunk] [crash] [clang] [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
[creak]
ENISHI and MEN: [whispering] C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here... [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...] [moves creation inside and shuts gates] [clllank]
KENSHIN: What happens now?
AOSHI: Saitoh, Seta, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the racoon, taking Yukishiro by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed.
KENSHIN: [blinks] Who leaps out?
AOSHI: [realization begins to dawn]U-- u-- uh, Saitoh, the smiling boy, and I, uh, leap out of the racoon, uh, and uh... shit.
KENSHIN: [falls over]
AOSHI: Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden weasel--
Saitoh: [clank] Stupid Ninja.
[twong]
KENSHIN: ORO?! Run away!
SAMURAI: AGAIN? [See giant racoon being hurdled at them] Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! [CRASH]
ENISHI: Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh... Still not as good as Viagra, though...
End Scene 8
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A/N: Eehh, it's late, quater to 2AM to be exact. And this isn't too original in my opinion but to clear a few things up:
-The dubbed voices of RK suck majorly. The pronounciations of many words are off, thus our frenchman Enishi is "dubbed" to make up for his outrageous accent.
-The viagra..lol, there's a dj pic I've on my computer of the Kamiya dojo at Christmas time. Enishi is dressed as santa and is delivering presents. To Kaoru, he gives a beauty set, to Yahiko--a new bokken. To Kenshin, he holds up a box of Viagra and tries not to laugh. And thus, I had to add that in at the last part.
Gomen ne, connection's still not fixed, I've been kicked off about 2 dozen times in the past two and a half hours. But I thank you all for your reviews. Of course, most of my thanks goes to Kuroiyousei. I still would be stuck on the parody of the song (Knights of the Round Table) if it weren't for Kuroiyousei. A thousand thanks! *bows graciously*
I appreciate your reviews, each and every one! Now leave me some more, pleaseeee!
**ignore the grammar, I do**
Phoe-chan
Disclaimer: I dont' own RK or Monty Python. Hell, I don't even own the French.
----------
Rurouni Kenshin and the Holy Sakabato
Scene 8
----------
[King Kenshin music and the sound of burnt riceballs clacking against each other]
KENSHIN: Halt!
YAHIKO: [blows a horn, making many unpleasant sounds before producing anything that sounds near to what it should]
SAMURAI: [sweatdrop]
KENSHIN: Hallo! [pause] Hallo!
ENISHI: Allo! Who is eet? [Glares at Phoe-chan for making him have a ridiculous but hilarious accent.]
KENSHIN: It is King Kenshin, and these are my Samurai of the Laundry. Whose dojo is this?
ENISHI: Whose dojo do you think eet is? Yukishiro Enishi's of course!
KENSHIN: Ehhrm..Right. Go and ask your sister if we can stay for the night, and then she can marry me then die so I can find a holy sakabato.
ENISHI: Well, I'll ask her, but I don't think she'll be very keen. Uh, she's already got one, you see.
KENSHIN: What?
SOUJIRO: He says they've already got one!
KENSHIN: Are you sure she's got one?
ENISHI: Oh, yes. He's very nice-a. They plan to get married next week-a. (This dope thinks he's got a chance with my sister!)
ENISHI'S MEN: [chuckling]
KENSHIN: Did you just say 'He'? As in her sakabato has gender?
ENISHI: Of course not! He is her fiancé, not her sword!
KENSHIN: Well, why didn't you say that before, you stupid...what are you?
ENISHI: I'm American-dubbed! Why do think I have this outrageous accent and can't pronounce words right, you silly king-a?!
SOUJIRO: What are you doing in England? ...Wait..What are WE doing in England?
ENISHI: Mind your own business!
KENSHIN: If you will not show us the sakabato, we shall take your dojo by force!
ENISIH: You don't frighten us, Subtitled pig-dogs! Go and boil your tofu, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Kenshin King, you and all your silly samurai k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
SOUJIRO: [smiling, as usual] What a strange person.
KENSHIN: Now look here, my good man--
ENISHI: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed toilet-bowl cleaner! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a rooster and your father smelt of rotten plums!
SOUJIRO: What's a toilet bowl?
ENISHI: You don't wanna know. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a! [sniff]
KENSHIN: Now, this is your last chance. I've been more than reasonable.
ENISHI: (Fetchez la vache.)
ASSISTANT: Quoi?
ENISHI: (Fetchez la vache!) [mooo]
KENSHIN: If you do not agree to my commands, then I shall-- [twong--cow is suddenly catapulted over the dojo wall] [mooooooo] Holy Tofu!
SAMURAI: Christ! [thud] Ah! Ohh!
KENSHIN: Right! Charge!
SAMURAI: Charge! [mayhem, several animals, foods and such are tossed over the wall, with the occasional geisha that Sano attempts to snag.]
ENISHI: Hey, this one is for your mother! There you go. [more mayhem] And this one's for your dad!
KENSHIN: Run away!
SAMURAI: [stare at Kenshin] WHAT?
ENISHI: Thppppt! [taunting]
SAITOH: Ahous! I'll tear them apart!
KENSHIN: No, no. No, no.
AOSHI: Battousai! I have a plan, ....sir.
[later]
[wind] [saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw saw]
[Enishi stares out into woods] [clunk] [bang] [rewr!]
[Gigantic Tanuki on wheels is pushed up to the gate] [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak] [rrrr rrrr rrrr] [drilllll] [sawwwww] [clunk] [crash] [clang] [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...]
[creak]
ENISHI and MEN: [whispering] C'est un lapin, lapin de bois. Quoi? Un cadeau. What? A present. Oh, un cadeau. Oui, oui. Hurry. What? Let's go. Oh. On y va. Bon magne. Over here... [squeak squeak squeak squeak squeak...] [moves creation inside and shuts gates] [clllank]
KENSHIN: What happens now?
AOSHI: Saitoh, Seta, and I, wait until nightfall, and then leap out of the racoon, taking Yukishiro by surprise. Not only by surprise, but totally unarmed.
KENSHIN: [blinks] Who leaps out?
AOSHI: [realization begins to dawn]U-- u-- uh, Saitoh, the smiling boy, and I, uh, leap out of the racoon, uh, and uh... shit.
KENSHIN: [falls over]
AOSHI: Oh. Um, l-- look, i-- i-- if we built this large wooden weasel--
Saitoh: [clank] Stupid Ninja.
[twong]
KENSHIN: ORO?! Run away!
SAMURAI: AGAIN? [See giant racoon being hurdled at them] Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! [CRASH]
ENISHI: Oh, haw haw haw haw! Haw! Haw haw heh... Still not as good as Viagra, though...
End Scene 8
----------
A/N: Eehh, it's late, quater to 2AM to be exact. And this isn't too original in my opinion but to clear a few things up:
-The dubbed voices of RK suck majorly. The pronounciations of many words are off, thus our frenchman Enishi is "dubbed" to make up for his outrageous accent.
-The viagra..lol, there's a dj pic I've on my computer of the Kamiya dojo at Christmas time. Enishi is dressed as santa and is delivering presents. To Kaoru, he gives a beauty set, to Yahiko--a new bokken. To Kenshin, he holds up a box of Viagra and tries not to laugh. And thus, I had to add that in at the last part.
Gomen ne, connection's still not fixed, I've been kicked off about 2 dozen times in the past two and a half hours. But I thank you all for your reviews. Of course, most of my thanks goes to Kuroiyousei. I still would be stuck on the parody of the song (Knights of the Round Table) if it weren't for Kuroiyousei. A thousand thanks! *bows graciously*
I appreciate your reviews, each and every one! Now leave me some more, pleaseeee!
**ignore the grammar, I do**
Phoe-chan