But, yes! The Horror that is Monty Python shall continue to infect our societies!
You've been warned.
Disclaimer: (gurgle)
Rurouni Kenshin and the Holy Sakabato
Scene 18: The Horrors of Fandom.
(King Author music, sounds of burnt riceballs smacking against each other and sounds of a cat being mangled)
KENSHIN: Young lady. (music stops, ending in a tinkle from a triangle and a moo from a cow) Is there anywhere we can find...(voice drops to a whisper) yaoi tickets?
FANGIRL: LIEK OMG! YOU WANT TO GO TO YAOICON TOO! AHH! IT'S KENSHIN! I LOVE KENxSANO PAIRING AND AOSHIxSOUJIRO PAIRING!11!one!
KENSHIN: ...
AOSHI: ...
KENSHIN: ...
AOSHI: ...
KENSHIN: ...
AOSHI: ...
PHOE-CHAN: OK, cut it out you two.
FANGIRL: So, liek, whose the tickets for?
KENSHIN: The Geisha who Squeak Mou.
FANGIRL: Oh, hell no. I'm not giving my tickets up to a bunch of prissy prostitutes.
AOSHI: Actually, a geisha isn't a pros--
FANGIRL: I don't care! Tickets are mine!
KENSHIN: If you don't cooperate with us, we'll be forced to use drastic measures.
FANGIRL: Do your worst!
AOSHI: With pleasure.
KENSHIN: (turns to AOSHI with starry-eyes) Oh, Aoshi-sama!
AOSHI: (turns to KENSHIN with a blank look) Oh, Kenshin.
KENSHIN: You gotta be believable, Aoshi.
AOSHI: I'm perfectly in character.
KENSHIN: That's the problem. In yaoi stories, you're always OOC. Because you're not gay, right?
AOSHI: ...
KENSHIN: RIGHT?
AOSHI: ...Right.
(they embrace)
FANGIRL: (passes out from nosebleed.)
KENSHIN: HA! It worked! Let's get the tickets and go!
AOSHI: She doesn't have them
KENSHIN: What!
AOSHI: They're tickets to Nekocon.
KENSHIN: ...Shit.
MARY-SUE: Oh, you poor, poor troubled souls... Would you like me to ease your pain?
KENSHIN & AOSHI: (turn around)
KENSHIN: Hey... it's one of... them.
AOSHI: You don't mean...?
KENSHIN: (whispers) A Mary-sue.
AOSHI: How can you tell?
KENSHIN: Look at her. Just exactly what is her eye color? It keeps changing. She's got boobs out to here, legs longer than a giraffe's neck and big red lips that scream "I want to kiss you." Oh, and the name on her nametag is about seven syllables long. And has at least three Q's.
AOSHI: I see. I've heard about these... Mary-sue's. They screw up the story plots, don't they?
KENSHIN: I hear that wherever they go, plotholes follow.
AOSHI: That's awful. We should get rid of her soon.
MARY-SUE: Were you looking for tickets to a yaoi-con? I have some if you would like them...
KENSHIN & AOSHI: (manic grins)
End Scene 18.
AN: Well, I'll bet that's the scariest damned thing I've ever written in my life.
If you're not passed out on the floor from shock, be sure to leave a review. Just so I know this story isn't dead XD
Phoe-chan